CBS New Media News "I used to take good care of her, but she didn't have the strength. Now that I've left her alone at home, she's taking care of not only herself, but the whole family. ”
In "Raising Children in the Countryside", is the protagonist's daily change an accidental case or a model worth promoting? At 9:00 a.m. on March 26, the author Feng Lili appeared on the "Changzhou Open Class" forum as a "daily mother" to tell you about "children should be a free-growing tree" and share the experience of accompanying children to transform and grow up in the countryside.
At the beginning of the open class, teacher Feng Lili told the cause of raising children in the countryside, "Children have changed five kindergartens in a row, and the more they change, the better, but the fear of school is increasing day by day." It was hard to stay up until elementary school, thinking it would be better, but I didn't expect to come back crying on the first day, unwilling to go again, and finally had to withdraw from school. As a new mother, I am very anxious, what should I do? ”
By chance, the Tiantian family got acquainted with the family education instructor Teacher Qiao, and Tiantian's parents, who had quit their full-time job for their daughter, embarked on the road of going to the countryside for four years to raise their children. I didn't expect a helpless choice, but I found another world for the growth of my child.
The free and open environment in the countryside allows the children's strength to be released, starting from cooking and raising small animals, every day parents and Teacher Qiao guide step by step, every day open their personality, can cook independently, can make many good friends, such a change makes every day parents ecstatic, it turns out that our children are not impossible! But there has never been a suitable environment, the right opportunity for her to change.
The way everyone raises their children today hides the influence of their original family and childhood experiences, and is closely related to the roads they have traveled and the books they have read.
After raising her children in the countryside, she was unwilling to cook every day, and her mother became anxious again, worried that her insistence every day would make her no longer have a sense of responsibility, worried that she would never go back to school, and she thought of her "painful childhood when her father died when she was a child"...
The parenting problems that plague us are essentially our own problems, and the answers can only be found in ourselves. The open and free environment in the countryside finally appeased Tian Tian Ma, who had an epiphany in the vegetable garden, "Don't worry, cucumbers will produce cucumbers, and beans will produce beans." ”
Children's anxiety about learning and lack of confidence in interpersonal communication actually come from the influence of the family and are closely related to the way parents deal with it. An audience member asked, "Teacher Feng, is there a rebellious adolescence every day?" What will you do? It is also up to her to decide, is it not mandatory? Teacher Feng said: "Which child does not have puberty, but we handle it very well." Because she knows every day that her parents love her, she will not betray her by ignoring her ideas and standing in the position of others. Then she felt this power and was naturally willing to share her troubles and confusions, and her daily adolescence was also very smooth. ”
At the scene of this open class, a teenage boy expressed his heartfelt feelings: "I really hope that my parents can be as democratic as Teacher Feng, let me have the right to freedom, and constantly assign other homework after I finish school homework..."
The child's self-statement makes people sigh at the same time, but also caused everyone to examine the parents, in the process of children's growth, perhaps parents and children to talk about the topic, not only limited to the quality of the grades, the rank of the class, more should be with the child to grow up, share together. It is not that our child is not excellent, when he is most confused and helpless, parents should be good listeners and companions, keep zero distance from the child's heart, let the child feel the strength given to him by his parents, and many things can be solved. Let's remove the thick layer of parental shelves on our bodies and enjoy the good time of each other's company.
You see, such a "dish" parent, such a "weak" child, can finally live a normal life, then what other families can not overcome? It is clever to take a straight detour because a shortcut is found; to take a straight detour is open-minded because you can see more scenery. The road to growth is not a one-way bridge, abandon stubbornness, and open up another possibility of education! (Text: Xu Mengxia Photo: Yue Chunhong)