The film is a remake of Italian director Giuseppe Donatore's 1990 film of the same name, also known as everybody's life. Others translate it as "everything is fine".
"Journey to Heaven" tells the story of Frank, a wire protection worker, who finds himself getting farther and farther away from his children, despite the doctor's persuasion, travels alone through the east and west of the United States, visiting four children in four different regions to find the reason, and truly reveals the truth of the relationship between parents and children.
Hollywood movies "Ordinary People", "Mother-Daughter Love", "Kramer Couple", are all deep and serious family films, but this film is different, this film is handled by light music, bright light, even if a lonely old man is at home, he does not feel the atmosphere is heavy.
The next article will analyze the film from three aspects of parents and children,000 aspects, and the reflections it brings to us.
First: The benign relationship between parents and children is to report "good news" and "worry".
In the film, the eldest daughter and her father claim that their son Jack's grades are among the best in the class, but when the old man Frank asks about his grandson, Jack says that he has bad grades and that he does not like to study. At the same time, the eldest daughter also concealed the problem of her husband's cheating.
The younger daughter also hid her pregnancy from her father and was gay. Rented a high-end apartment and a luxury stretch car to prove to her father that she was doing well. But everything was seen by the father.
In fact, we are not the same as them, leaving home, encountering difficulties and setbacks, but choosing to report good news and not worry, afraid that we are not good enough, adding chaos to them; afraid of our own vulnerability, becoming their trouble; afraid of their own help, let them fall into chaos; afraid of becoming a burden to their families, so they desperately swallow any pain.
"Don't trouble others, relationships can never be established, people who are afraid of trouble with others are doomed to be lonely for a lifetime."
In the film, the four children love his father, but they use an invisible and cold iron cage to abandon their favorite father outside the cage.
This iron cage is "I am not good enough, I cannot share my sorrows with you, I should not let you see vulnerability, I cannot trouble you."
The method of "reporting good news and not worrying" can be used perfunctory in the short term, but many things "can't hold the fire in paper", and it is impossible to hide from them all the time. As soon as Frank came to see them, all the lies were self-defeating. To gain understanding and support, you must take the initiative to take this step yourself.
Trust your parents, and if something bad happens to you, tell your parents and face them together. No matter when, Mom and Dad are your eternal backing, support you at all times, and love you.
Parents are somehow eager to be troubled, and they are eager to understand us.
The China Youth Daily Social Survey Center and the questionnaire network (wenjuan.com) conducted a survey of 2,008 respondents, and the results showed that 52.0% of the respondents and their parents often reported good news and did not report good news, and 43.6% of the respondents and parents occasionally did so.
In the survey, 61.7% of the respondents attributed that they did not want the other party to worry about themselves, 51.2% of the respondents attributed it to wanting to give the other party more security and comfort, and 50.3% of the respondents felt that they could solve it and did not need to tell the other party.
There is a sentence in "Intimacy":
"An intimate relationship is a process in which two people are constantly getting closer and need to constantly and bravely expose themselves."
A sentence that I have a good life is not only the lies told to their fathers by their children in the film, but also the lies we ourselves tell to our parents.
Therefore, there is no trouble between relatives, only the real concern for each other. The film tells the audience that the benign relationship between parents and children is both good news and bad news.
Two: Be yourself, you are the pride of your parents.
In the film, the eldest son, David, wants to be a painter since he was a child, but his father tells him, "If you paint on a strong and there will be puppies peeing on it, you should still be an artist." "Will you be my pride?" As a child, David replied, "Yes."
Since his mother's death, he has contracted drugs and left this world. At the end of the film, the father dreams that David has come to say goodbye, and the father repents and says to David, "No matter what you do, I am proud of you." ”
We believe that we will only be accepted if we perform well and do well. In fact, it is not like this, even if life is not as good as your parents want to be, but as long as you like, you are the pride of your parents.
The German dramatist Lessing once said: "The man who walks the slowest, as long as he does not lose his goal, walks faster than the man who wanders aimlessly." "
And the family is his goal, that warm home.
In the film, Frank's youngest son, Robert, is not a conductor, but a drummer, and his father, who knows the truth, is still proud of Robert. In fact, the younger son is not very happy, the girlfriend can not accept him running around to perform, Robert can not give the girlfriend a stable home.
Milan Kundera said in The Unbearable Lightness of Life:
"Life often makes us feel hard, and it will make us witness countless times the distortion and deformation of life under various pressures."
Because of this, we need to get rid of the expectations of others and find our true selves.
Although life is hard, we are still unwilling to give up that hot life!
Writer Liu Na said:
"The luckiest thing on earth is that in the time allowed by God, in the healthy years of our parents, we have finally understood and done it after experiencing escape and return, quarrels and reconciliation, tears and laughter:
Even if we don't live the pride of our parents, we still deserve to give them a hug. ”
The most terrible thing about people is that even they think that only this path in my life is the most correct, and I have no ability to go on. Although Robert was not the conductor of his father's mouth, he still loved his role as a drummer and kept going.
My dad used to say to me, "It's good for young people to want to go out and break in, but if you are tired one day, you have suffered more grievances and want to come back, mom and dad are always at home, opening the door for you." "I'm also glad I could have a father who loved me so much.
Maugham once wrote in the book that I did my best to live an ordinary life.
No matter how ordinary the life is, in the hearts of your parents, you are very happy, you just need to be yourself.
Three: The relationship between a virtuous parent and a child is to learn to listen.
In the film, when the father is having dinner with his little daughter, he asks, "Why do you always not tell me about something, but tell your mother that every time I pick up the phone, it is my father, my mother." The younger daughter also said, "Because your mother is good at listening, and you are good at talking."
At the end of the film, frank's wife is buried in front of the grave, reflecting on "if I can start all over again, I will ask the children to be less." It was only in the end that he realized this true meaning. In the film, the most realistic and life-like lens is used to illuminate the problems of parents and children getting along in real life.
You always complain that your children don't confide in you and hide everything from you, but have you seriously learned to listen?
Listening to the child's words is very beneficial to the child's growth, and at the same time can promote the relationship between parents and children, which can reduce the generation of estrangement, so that the child will feel that the parent is the one who understands him, and will take the initiative to be close to the parent.
Here are a few tips on how to listen:
When we feel the child's emotional changes in a subtle way, do not show any impatient emotions, because the child can be very sensitive to the parents' absent-mindedness or other things.
Show curiosity, interest and enthusiasm, and use eye contact, gestures, caresses, etc. to create a relaxed atmosphere and encourage children to talk more.
"Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans." If we really want our children to grow up healthy and happy, then we need to listen carefully to their children's ideas.
Carnegie said: A pair of dexterous ears is better than ten mouths that can speak.
For example, when the child says something critical, respond to a sentence such as "so ah" and "then what" to stimulate the child's interest in continuing to express.
Or at least repeat something your child says to show that he's listening carefully to the information.
Marshall Luxemburg writes in Nonviolent Communication:
Let go of preconceived notions, let go of the urge to make judgments, don't rush to give advice, but focus on understanding the needs of the other person.
As children, we should also learn to listen to our parents.
"The Road Few People Walk" says: "Listening is to put attention on the other person, it is a concrete expression of love." ”
Pay attention to the emotions of both parties during the exchange. Emotion is a sensor, and when you obviously find yourself or the other person in a hurry or sad, you must have touched the part of the two sides that have differences in concepts.
At this time, the most commonly used technique is "hot emotions, cold processing" - not speaking on the gas head.
Four: The director is good at using the most simple lens to set off ripples in the audience's heart, and cannot be calm for a long time.
The most tear-jerking thing in the film is not when Frank is alone dragging the box to the sides of things, not when he misses the train because of the time difference of the watch and runs alone and the dark and cold night, nor when he bends down to pick up the medicine residue little by little, but the back of him and his daughter who say goodbye at the airport.
The film uses such a close to life lens to arouse the deepest resonance of the audience. Although the film does not have too much sad emotional rendering, the back is enough to make the audience cry.
Long Yingtai wrote in the "Eye Sending": The so-called parents and children only mean that your fate with him is to constantly watch his back drift away in this life and this life. You stand at this end of the path, watching him fade away where the path turns, and he is silently telling you with his back: no need to chase.
Through a tight plot and a virtual lens, the film truly presents the warmth between father Frank and his four children. Under the lens of director Cole Jones, the problems of parents and children are exposed. Thus giving the audience a certain amount of thinking.
The telephone poles that appear several times in the film seem to connect the love of this family, even though they span the east and west of the United States. The high and low orderly telephone poles bring the audience the mood of one after another.
Summary: The film tells us three truths about parents and children: learn to listen; be yourself, you will always be the pride of parents; the relationship between parents and children is to report good news and bad news. May your family be so warm and beautiful as the Frank family.
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