Dark-skinned, single-eyelid, short, in the British colonies of the 1920s, she was just a humble yellow-skinned girl, but she broke through many obstacles, studied ballet with white children, and because of her extraordinary talent, she was recognized by authoritative experts in the Western dance world and became a famous ballet dancer.
After the outbreak of the War of Resistance Against Japan, she resolutely returned to the motherland, participated in the Anti-Japanese Charity Performance, and made outstanding contributions to the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, she was known as the "Mother of Chinese Dance" Dai Ailian.
Such a woman who is so successful in her career has encountered many setbacks emotionally.
One day in 1950, when her husband Ye Qianyu had just returned from a foreign country, Dai Ailian said to him: "Let's divorce, I am in love with someone else." ”
Ye Qianyu questioned who the other party was, and Dai Ailian said, "You also know this person, that is, my colleague Ding Ning, who has lived in our house before." ”
After divorcing Ye Qianyu, Dai Ailian married Ding Ning, who was younger than herself, and originally thought that the two would live happily ever after, but she did not think that Ding Ning left at the most difficult time for Dai Ailian and took away all her property.
Two marriages failed, one marriage caused lifelong infertility due to overwork, the second marriage was swept away by the husband all the property, in his later years, Dai Ailian said that this is all his fault, what is going on?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="20" >1, first love 14 days, but because of regret missed 55 years</h1>
Born in 1916 on the Island of Trinidad in the West Indies, when she was a British colony, she grew up unmoved and stubborn.
Dai Ailian does not like to eat fish, the most love egg fried rice, every time she goes out to eat, she can endure hunger, until the last egg fried rice on the table to move chopsticks. Parents said helplessly: "I have never seen such a stubborn child." ”
Personality determines fate, Dai Ailian's stubborn personality allows her to overcome many difficulties on the road to learning to dance, but it also makes her too drill the horn tip, this character is like a double-edged sword, in the career to achieve Dai Ailian, but also let her suffer emotionally.
Dai Ailian inherited her mother's literary genes, and by chance, she saw her classmates dancing ballet, and since then she has fallen deeply in love with ballet, breaking through many obstacles, and she became the first yellow person on the island to learn ballet with white people.
At the age of 14, her mother took her three daughters to London, England, where Shebertine became a student of the dance artist Anton Doering, and a year later, she studied under the modern dancer Mary Wiggmann.
But soon after, the father went bankrupt and could not afford to pay the daughters' tuition, but Dai Ailian did not want to give up her dream of dancing, and she decided to stay alone and study half work and half a year.
In order to support herself, Dai Ailian has done all kinds of jobs, makeup artist, lighting engineer, cleaning, running dragon sets, and even selling masks.
Later, Dai Ailian finally found a stable job as a model for the sculptor Harkolos, but within a few days, Harcolos left England without paying her any wages. Dai Ailian was almost desperate, she didn't have a penny, and she didn't know what to eat for the next meal.
Just then, a man named Willie Sokopo appeared in front of Dai Ailian, who was born in Austria in 1907 and was a sculptor who had been invited to visit England for 3 months.
Willie said to Aeron dai, "I would love to ask you to be my model, but I don't have any money." ”
Dai Ailian did not want to give up any opportunity, and hurriedly said: "I can not want money, as long as there is a place to live and something to eat." ”
Willie had his own studio, but it was very simple, and Dalene could only sleep on the floor. But she was still very happy to have a place to live, not only as Willy's model, but also to cook for Willy, mend clothes, and in return, Willie gave her a statue modeled on Eileen.
The two young artists felt sorry for each other, and soon developed a strange feeling, but neither of them broke it.
It was during World War II, and one day Willie suddenly said to Ailian Dai: "France is now in the war, but my fiancée Simon is still on vacation in France, and I am afraid that she is trapped there." ”
Dai Ailian knew that Willie already had a fiancée, and although her heart was full of mixed feelings, she still had to endure sadness and comfort: "Don't worry, the war will end soon." ”
On the weekend, Willie and Ailian Dai go for a walk in the forest, and when they encounter a puddle, Willie subconsciously carries Ailian across the puddle. The inadvertent intimacy made the two young people feel like an electric shock, and it turned out that they had already moved their hearts to each other.
Willie sighed helplessly, "We met too late. Eileen, I'm going to keep my promise, I promised to marry Simon. Dai Ailian suppressed her tears and pretended to be calm and said, "I know, it doesn't matter." ”
Two weeks later, Willie's fiancée, Simon, returned to England, and Dai had no reason to stay, so she took Simon to Willie's part-time school and turned away on her own.
At that moment, Dai Ailian finally understood what heartache was, she had fallen deeply in love with Willie, but she also knew that this relationship would not bear fruit.
A few months later, Britain declared war on Germany, Willie visited Canada, and Simon went to the United States to avoid war.
The war cut off Dai Ailian's studies, but also let her and her beloved people completely separated, she hated the war, when she learned that China is suffering from war, resolutely decided to return to China and use her own strength to serve the motherland.
After several twists and turns, Dai Ailian finally took the ship back to China, and she was determined to forget Willie, but she did not know that some things, the more she tried to forget, the more she remembered.
A year later, Willie returned to England to settle down. He wrote to Ailian Dai. In the letter, he said: "I intend not to wait for Simon anymore, why are you going so fast?" Why not wait for me? It turned out that Willie was ready to give up Simon and be with Eileen.
But it was too late, at this time, Dai Ailian was already married to the painter Ye Qianyu, and wanted to forget Willy with new feelings, but this letter completely disturbed her emotions.
Compared with love and not being able to, the beauty shaped by missing and regretting is more worrying and nostalgic. In the next 55 years, Dai Ailian will always think back in the middle of the night: "If I hadn't returned to China so early and got married so early, wouldn't everything be different?" ”
With this regret and remorse, Dai Ailian's emotional life can no longer be calm. This short 14-day ignorant first love actually affected her happiness for a lifetime.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="196" >2, in order to heal the wounds of the flash marriage Leaf Asayu, because of the lack of love in marriage in love with small fresh meat</h1>
In the spring of 1940, Dai Ailian returned to Hong Kong with a wounded heart and devoted herself to the performance of collecting donations for the War of Resistance. At this time, Ye Qianyu also came to Hong Kong, and he was also in pain after breaking up with Liang Baibo.
The two met at an anti-Japanese propaganda performance organized by Song Qingling, when Dai Ailian was in charge of the performance, and Ye Qianyu and other painters were responsible for painting propaganda posters.
Although Dai Ailian was petite and plain-looking, she said very confidently as soon as she came up: "I will not be static to model for you, I will jump mine, you will draw yours." ”
Ye Qianyu thought that this dancer was too interesting, Dai Ailian danced to see the painting, and found that only Ye Qianyu painted the best, and the person was also handsome, quite like the shadow of her first love Willie.
Dai Ailian took the initiative to talk to Ye Qianyu, but she could not speak Chinese, Ye Qianyu's English was not good, and she could only communicate through gestures, and after a week, the two became good friends, and 15 days later, under the initiative of Dai Ailian, the two became lovers.
After that, Dai Ailian said that she wanted to go to Yan'an and continue to dedicate herself to the cause of the War of Resistance, and Ye Qianyu said that the two could walk together, but before that, it was necessary to determine the relationship between the two and get married before going on the road. In this way, under the personal marriage of Song Qingling, Dai Ailian married Ye Qianyu.
The combination of the two has the unique romanticism of the artist, but more is that Dai Ailian wants to use this relationship to heal and forget Willie.
After getting married, the couple set off for Yan'an, and returned to Hong Kong to participate in the performance in the autumn of the same year, but encountered the fall of Hong Kong, the two were trapped in a peasant family in the mountains, in order to escape from the japanese devil's encirclement, they disguised themselves as vegetable farmers, but Ye Qianyu was arrested by the Japanese halfway through the road to work as a laborer, and escaped back after dark.
The two died nine times in their lives, and after several twists and turns, they left Hong Kong and returned to the mainland to settle down, and they supported each other and provided great help for each other's artistic careers.
When Dai Ailian performed, Ye Qianyu not only helped her come up with ideas, painted propaganda posters, and even went on stage to play drums herself, while Dai Ailian provided a lot of inspiration for Ye Qianyu's creation, and also acted as a translator when he visited abroad.
During that period, both of their careers reached their peak, Dai Ailian created many famous dances and held border dances, and Ye Qianyu drew a series of famous works in the history of Chinese comics.
Unfortunately, during the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, Dai Ailian suffered from a serious ovarian cyst due to her long-term travel around, and had to remove both ovaries, and she could never get pregnant again.
Dai Ailian was so sad that looking at his sad wife, Ye Qianyu, who was not good at words, only faintly comforted a few words.
In the spring of 1949, when Peiping was liberated, Dai Ailian served as the leader of the dance group in the North China University Cultural and Labor Troupe, and Ye Qianyu became the deputy director of the Art Association.
Dai Ai Lian Ye Qianyu and Ye Mingming
After many hardships, the two were finally able to settle down, and they thought that life would get better and better, but the next year the two divorced.
In the autumn of 1950, Ye Qianyu went on a business trip to Xinjiang and returned to Beijing three months later, but as soon as he returned home, Dai Ailian said, "Let's get a divorce, I am in love with someone else." ”
Ye Qianyu was incredulous, he asked who the other party was, and Dai Ailian said that it was Ding Ning, a young dancer who had lived at home. Although he was reluctant in his heart, Ye Qianyu still agreed to the divorce and ended the 10-year marriage between the two.
We often say that husband and wife are originally the same forest bird, the big trouble is about to fly separately, 10 years of difficult years have not been able to wash them away, why live a stable life but there is a problem? On the surface, it is all because Dai Ailian empathizes with each other, but in fact, the combination of the two is wrong at the beginning.
First: not fully understood, only saw each other's fantasies
Dai Ailian and Ye Qianyu got married after only 15 days of acquaintance, and at that time, the two did not speak the same language, Dai Ailian did not even know that Ye Qianyu was a famous painter, and did not know that Ye Qianyu had two relationships, and also had a son and a daughter with the original match.
The writer Zhou Guoping once said that marriage is divided into three types, artistic marriage based on fantasy and passion, magic marriage based on deception and tolerance, and technical marriage based on experience and method. Only the third type is the most stable.
The marriage of Dai Ailian and Ye Qianyu is obviously an artistic marriage based on fantasy and passion, and the husband and wife are full of fantasies about each other and are not fully based on reality.
Dai Ailian only saw Ye Qianyu's romance as a painter, did not see his problems in the two failed feelings, Ye Qianyu only saw the enthusiasm and unrestrainedness of Dai Ailian, and did not see the motivation behind her so active pursuit of herself. And neither side considers each other's differences, thinking that the present state is eternal.
During the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, Dai Ailian and Ye Qianyu's attention was diverted by their careers and work, and they failed to find problems for a while, but after liberation, life settled down, but all kinds of contradictions appeared, and marriage naturally had problems.
Second: Combine to heal the wound, and the result is that the wound is even deeper
The reason why Dai Ailian took the initiative to come together with Ye Qianyu was not only attracted by his artist's temperament, but also wanted to forget his first love Willie. In Dai Ailian's eyes, Ye Qianyu and Willie have too many similarities, they are both tall and handsome, and they both regard art as life.
In 1949, Dai Ailian received another letter from Willie, Willie and Simon were married, and her son was 1 year old, And Dai thought she had long forgotten, but when she looked at Willie's family portrait, she knew that she had never forgotten.
Regret and regret once again overwhelmed Dai Ailian, and combined in order to heal the wound, but the result was that the wound became deeper and deeper.
Third: cultural backgrounds vary greatly, and there is a lack of communication in feelings
Ye Qianyu was ordered by his parents to marry luo Caiyun, but after marriage, he met Liang Baibo, a confidant with a red face, who could not bear to hurt the original partner on the one hand, and on the other hand, he was unwilling to give up his lover, and finally ended up separated from the original partner and broke up with the lover.
From this point of view, although Ye Qianyu has received Western education, he always has feudal ideas in his bones, and he believes that women should be attached to men and do not treat women equally.
Dai Ailian received a Western education from childhood, her thinking is independent, she is eager to communicate with her husband on an equal footing, but Ye Qianyu never takes the initiative to express her thoughts and feelings, Dai Ailian is infertile due to illness, although he cares in his heart, he does not express it, even Dai Ailian takes the initiative to tell her about his first love, he is not willing to listen, and later Dai Ailian mentions divorce, he is not willing to pull down his face to keep it.
The difference in cultural background and the absence of communication have disappointed Dai Ailian, who cannot forget her first love, and she can only seek new emotional sustenance without love.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="197" >3, the second marriage was swept away by the husband all the family property, and finally found true love after 55 years</h1>
After the divorce, Dai Ailian and Ding Ning, a dancer younger than herself, came together and experienced a 6-year love run, and the two married in 1956.
But after getting married, Dai Ailian did not wait for a warm family life, but was fiercely betrayed by her husband, and at her most difficult time, Ding Ning not only left, but also took away all her belongings.
This relationship hurt Dai Ailian so much that she was reluctant to mention Ding Ning's name in later interviews and autobiographies, so posterity could not understand the details of the two people's relationship.
But the only thing that can be determined is that this marriage is exactly the second type of marriage that Zhou Guoping said, that is, a magic marriage based on deception and tolerance.
Ding Ning packaged himself as an affectionate man who took good care of Dai Ailian, and coupled with the shadow of Willie when he was young, Dai Ailian naturally moved his heart.
In this kind of marriage based on deception and disguise, the two can share the blessings, but they cannot share the same suffering, so once the difficulties are encountered, Ding Ning will be exposed in his original form and selfishly roll up the property and leave.
After divorcing Ding Ning, she never married again, living alone in an overseas Chinese apartment in Beijing, accompanied by a statue given to her by Willie that year.
Years later, when asked why she was no longer married or in love, she said, "The first two marriages were my fault, I thought I was in love, but I didn't, I can't forget Willie, I shouldn't continue to look for his shadow in others." ”
Once the sea was shipwrecked as water, except for the Wushan Mountain is not a cloud. Once some people love, it is a lifetime, and no one can replace it.
During the Cultural Revolution, Dai Ailian's biggest thought in the midst of suffering was Willie: Is he doing well now? Can we meet again? This became the spiritual pillar for her to live.
Perhaps, heaven was also touched by her affection, in 1979, Dai Ailian and Willie finally met in London, England, after 40 years, the two sideburns have been dyed white hair, Dai Ailian is extremely excited, but at that time Willie and his wife Simon had a good life, she could only endure love, and Willie and his family became good friends.
Before returning to China, Dai Ailian pretended to be relaxed and said to Willie: "I spent 40 years to forget you, but I did not succeed, since you have lived so well, I will bury this feeling in my heart forever and wish you happiness." ”
Willie wanted to talk and stopped, but from his tearful eyes, Dai Ailian saw infinite affection, and that was enough.
This time it was another 14 years. In 1993, Willie's wife, Simon, died, and the following year, Willie suffered a stroke, lying in a hospital bed, hoping to see Eileen again.
At that time, Ye Qianyu's remarried wife Wang Renmei also died, and his stepdaughter Ye Mingming proposed that Dai Ailian and Ye Qianyu reunite, after all, although Ye Qianyu remarried, but over the years, his favorite was always Dai Ailian. But Dai Ailian refused:
"I can't be with your dad, I can't let go of the original relationship for the rest of my life, and next week, I'm going to England to spend the last years of his life with Willie." 」
At the age of 79, Aerene Dai came to England to take care of Willie as a wife, and the lovers, who had been separated for 55 years, finally lived together until Willie died a year later.
Loved for 14 days, but waited for 55 years, because of this love that knew that there would be no results, Dai Ailian failed in two marriages, gave up Ye Qianyu, who loved him deeply, had no children and no daughters in his life, and was lonely and lonely in his old age.
Some people ask, is it worth it? In fact, you and I should both know that love is not worth it.
In this impetuous era, in this era when love tends to be fast-food, may you maintain a pure lover's heart.