The psychologist talks to you about how the seven-year itch of "conjugal relationship" is formed

Recently, a friend asked how the seven-year itch is formed, why after marriage, contradictions continue to appear after seven years, and quarrels often occur. When we are young, we all look forward to beautiful love, in the stage of hot love, it is difficult for both parties to see each other's shortcomings, at what time the fresh romance impacts our hearts, fantasizing that everything will be better, so we can't see each other's true face at all, and what we see and feel is all the advantages of each other, and even magnify these advantages, at this time this perfect object in our hearts is actually just a phantom in our hearts. With the passage of time, after the feeling of hot love slowly decreases, the true face of the other party is slowly and clearly displayed, and the previous advantages are slowly covered by some shortcomings and deficiencies, at this time loneliness, helplessness, and loss will continue to accumulate in the heart The real needs in the depths of the heart are becoming clearer and clearer. Contradictions and quarrels begin, and at this initial stage, both sides may still be hopeful or convince themselves in their hearts that this is all new, that everything will be fine, and so on. However, with the passage of time, I gradually found that I was wrong, and the person in my life still did not change anything, so there were constant contradictions in the family relationship, who had the final say, who was the leader in the family life, and the struggle for power began. Family conflicts escalate, both sides tear off their disguises, there are fierce quarrels, and there is a cold war, but whether it is a hoarse quarrel or even a hand, or a blind indifference, all of this is to express a point of view, that you are not the person I want, you are doing too badly, you have to change. Such a fight repeats itself, and a few years later, the information of the other party's shortcomings, inadequacies, and faults continues to accumulate in the heart, but now the other party is still the same, nothing has changed, at this time you will feel discouraged and desperate, and the constant struggle is just to prove that you are right, but there is no real face behind the original beautiful illusion, which is the evolution of most of today's family and marriage relationships. How to solve all this, how to avoid contradictions in family life, and maintain a harmonious and happy marriage relationship, please see my related article.