You are a barren grass, and when others love you a little, they are eager to take out their hearts. But you are a wild grass, what can you pull out? At most, light yourself up and let people warm up.
Recently, I read a story that makes my heart can find a little softness again, from Zhang Jiajia's new book "Paradise Tour Group".
There is the truth of the life of every little person, the process of a sealed door slowly being pried out of the gap by the light, full of desperate hope, but also a journey related to reality.
If you haven't read the new book yet, you've read his best-selling book Passing Through Your World in 2013, or seen the novel's movie of the same name.
That year, after the divorce, Zhang Jiajia wrote all about her redemption and everyone's youth into the book, like the beginning of a story, waiting for the day when it could be perfectly concluded.
The author left a message on the 2013 book cover:
"Written on the thirty-third birthday." The beginning of the story is always like this, just in time, caught off guard. The story always ends like this, two flowers bloom, and the sky is different."
And today, the author wrote "Paradise Tour" in the struggle to survive, which contains all the diseases and medicines in his life, which is an end and a beginning, a destruction and a rebirth.
The cover of the book says:
"Hopefully, this book will illuminate those who walk in the dark." Honey, the world keeps blossoming, and I want to put one in your heart."
It's like the author can finally give a little account of all the regrets of the past youth today, and some people are destined to leave, but this does not mean that we do not have a new encounter.
I think that when you finish reading this book, you will definitely find the light that belongs to your own life, and you can let go of some heavy and heal the wounds on your body.
The humility of the little man is like a wild grass
The protagonist of the book, Song Yili, is a person who is so bitter that he has no patience for life.
Deliberately creating a traffic accident, I only hope that when I am hospitalized, I can see my wife who has left a long time ago.
It's just that the result of waiting seems to have been doomed, and divorce is a fact that cannot be recovered, just like his real life, even if he tries his best, he still can't climb to the bottom.
Single parent, so he couldn't find a reason to make his childhood a little happier.
Obviously, he wanted to escape from this environment to create some possibilities, but after getting married, in order to take care of his mother, he had to return to the place where he desperately wanted to leave.
"My mother worked day and night, had a brain infarction in her 50s, and when I was still blaming myself, she jumped off the building in order to let her son and daughter-in-law have a future, leaving a life insurance worth 300,000 yuan."
The mother did not know that such a sacrifice would not be compensated by insurance, nor would she think of jumping down from the upper floor in exchange for it, in addition to the sadness of her son, there was also a paralyzed body that needed to be taken care of.
I think that everyone who is struggling in their own quagmire can find their own shadow from Song Yili's body.
We are tired of our original families, and we have thought more than once to make ourselves go further, but when we grow up, we have to end our uprooted life and slowly admit the ordinary reality of poverty.
Song Yili's love is the humility of the family bondage, but also the redemption that he desperately wants to grasp in despair, but he does not think of his full efforts or there is no way to chisel out a little light in the dark house.
The person she loved deeply could be full of ideals, but when she really had to face a poor life, a dark and cramped restaurant, and a mother who was paralyzed in bed, she could also turn around and leave.
So the book says:
"What do people live for?" Do what you're not good at, accept unwanted criticism, smile at people you don't like, earn them a little money, and let yourself live an extra day."
This is the normal state of life that little people have to face, just like a wild grass, it is difficult to struggle to survive, and if you really have to pay, it seems that you can't give anything.
The rifts in our hearts are silent
In life, everyone will have their own secrets that no one knows, and many times it is not because the clouds are light and the wind is light, it may just be that the clouds have not yet accumulated a thunderstorm.
We often grow up in a state of self-healing while being injured, and the scars in our hearts have not yet fully healed, and we will be punched out by reality to create new scars.
All collapses are instantaneous, but to accumulate the strength of this moment, it often takes a person to endure it silently for many years.
The Paradise Tour says:
"When a person has a rift in his heart, it is quiet, and no one in this world can detect it. It's only when he slams it open that everyone will hear it."
This is perhaps the most appropriate description of everyone who is struggling to walk.
Many people will pretend to be the pain of their original family to grow up slowly, and then suffer in love, always dreaming that their future is getting better and better, but they have to endure the unchanged life in reality.
The power of the little people is always limited, even if they have been tough enough along the way, but the cracks in their hearts will eventually be broken one day.
It's just that before that, everyone is trying to live like a person, can't see a little abnormality, can't hear any sound.
Office workers who rush to the subway every day will cry out on the steps of the platform, and those who line up at the station gate will suddenly tear up their tickets and run out of the station.
A couple who once had a good relationship, under the comprehensive effect of chai rice oil and salt, always quarreled again and again until they were exhausted.
The naïve and happy female classmate you remember, when you meet her again after many years, is probably no longer the same person she was.
Along the way, we all have too many experiences, Zhang Jiajia wrote her illness in the book, but also wrote about each of our illnesses.
It's just that some people are sick for a long time, some people are tired and sick, some people look like they are alive and well but have internal injuries long ago, and some people are suspicious of ghosts, but in fact, they are not sick at all.
Everyone has a moon in their life
There is a sentence in the book that touched me very much, like my heart was suddenly pricked by a needle, drilling the pain of the heart.
He said:
"The moon is always there, hanging in the river of time, I came from the day before, the person I want to find is you, you go the next day, not the person I am looking for." 」
It's like our youth and the love that has passed away but won't forget.
We often meet the most suitable person at the most appropriate age, that is, some dreamy but purest emotion after being detached from reality.
It should be two people who have struggled in their respective cages for a long time, and finally meet in a limited space, each desperately needing each other's comfort, and willing to give everything to heal each other.
So after many years, you still can't forget that person, and you don't even think that you can't meet better in this life.
In fact, what you care about from beginning to end is not a person, but a time when you can pay without any scruples and get the greatest comfort.
Just like Song Yili and Lin Yi in the book, they all had their own burdens to carry in the past time, and no one was a little stronger than anyone else.
So in college, they will identify each other because of each other's simple actions, and feel that their ink-like world finally has the existence of light.
But we have to go back to reality after all, when the dream is over, everyone has their own unbearable, Lin Yi has to go forward, and Song Yili can only return to the original point.
From that day on, a person is no longer the same person as the original person, and all your retention, no longer a little poetic, will only expose more embarrassment and the disgust of another person.
This is the first lesson we have to take in the process of moving from ideal to reality, which is painful and unforgettable.
You can't forget the moon in the night, and as a result, in the time to come, you will see that all the light has lost love, and even the best moon is not as good as the original scenery.
"When I meet you, it's like wading through a mountain to meet a round of moon, and after dark and my heart is sad, I asked to borrow a little moonlight that day."
This is a confession and a nostalgia, an affirmation of a period of time, and a summary of one's own pain.
Between people, there is no suddenness
Some are destined to leave our lives, leaving an unforgettable present that torments everyone.
You can see from Song Yili's body that there is no love for life, even if there are many people around him who want him to live, but only himself, if he can't take the initiative to come out, everyone will be in vain.
But there are many people worth cherishing in our lives, family, friends, and even a stranger will give us the greatest warmth at some point.
You just care too much about the dream of your own healing, because in that process there is no real harm, only the best happiness.
So when we are in reality, pain and help come at the same time, you will always only remember your own pain, forget who is paying for you in that snowstorm.
Zhang Jiajia said:
"She came and went suddenly, and I slowly understood that there was no suddenness between people, and she would come only when she thought about it, and she would leave when she thought it through."
This is the truth that we can only see clearly if we really let go, all the suffering you suffer when you lose one person, you will always use a short journey to make yourself slowly get better after meeting another.
Thankfully, when Song Yili had given up hope of life and chose to take sleeping pills to commit suicide, he met his own light, a 7-year-old girl with terminal cancer.
"People who don't have a chance try to catch every strand of wind. People who have left the opportunity want to leave with a bottle of medicine."
They traveled along the way, traveled a lot of places and met a lot of people, each city has its own story, and everyone has their own sadness.
But in the scenery of this road, it is very wonderful, from Xiao Ju's body, from Chen Yan's body, from assistant Qingqing's body, from Tian Meihua and Teacher Li's body, as well as the nurse sister and kindergarten children' bodies, you will get endless strength.
Some people leave, they will stick a knife in you, they will plant a tree in front of your eyes, and years later, maybe the knife will still stab the heart, but the tree will also blossom.
At the end of the story, Song Yi carp goes to the end of this world, and a slender road extends from the coast to the island where the lighthouse stands.
He reacquainted himself with a beautiful and kind girl and made a small sky egg.
You will endure the pain until you read to the final calm, and then shed tears in the long-lost ordinariness, there will be a lot of regrets and reluctance, but you will eventually be in front of the tombstone of the small gathering, all relieved.
Write at the end
"Heaven Tour Group" is Zhang Jiajia's most special book, he heard the sound of "bang", and then picked up the broken heart piece by piece between the lines.
Thankfully, in this fortunate night, in this endless darkness, there are many people reaching out to him and saying, "Hey, don't give up!" ”。
So with this book, there is also you who are reading.
Some time ago, his friend Zhang Liangying came up with a single called "Paradise Tour Group", using the lyrics written by Zhang Jiajia in the book, which seems to sing all the stories in the book.
I hope you can hear this song that is sung and meet the moon that belongs to you.
But we don't have to let ourselves be "heartbroken in the dark" in the days to come.
You have to believe that all the suffering will eventually pass, and all that you cannot bear is in fear of the dawn.
In the book, chen Yan's appearance covers song yi carp's abyss, and there is no longer all the embarrassment of the past.
I hope that your world can also meet a person, bury the pain of the past, and then blossom into flowers in ordinary ordinary days.
Image from the web
Article original from: Kurishi san
Thanks for reading