Author: Insight Ciyu
The former is afraid of wolves, the latter is afraid of tigers, and people are as bold as rats in middle age.
Lu Xun said: "I always feel that Tao Qian stands a little farther away, and Li Bai stands a little higher, which is also caused by the times. Du Fu did not seem to be an ancient, as if he were still alive in our pile today. ”
Tao Yuanming is like a hermit, Li Bai is like a fairy, both of which are unattainable, and we have nothing to envy.
Only Du Fu will worry about the family's livelihood and will run for his career.
Looking at his life and reading his poems, you will feel that Du Fu is a middle-aged man around him.
01
Among the ancient stars, there was one called Samson Star and one called Shang Star.
They come and go, one after another, and never appear in the same sky at the same time.
In 759 AD, Du Fu, who was already in his forties, after meeting with his friend Wei Bashi in his youth, borrowed these two stars to sigh that the gathering of life was less and more.
A lifetime of knowledge and confusion is a true portrayal of Du Fu's turbulent and displaced life.
Du Fu regarded Li Bai as an idol, and they drank and wrote poems together and visited the hermit savages together.
On the occasion of parting, the two also exchanged poems.
Unfortunately, after that, the two drifted away like flying puffs and never met again, and Du Fu could only pin his love for the mountains and flowing water in one poem after another.
Du Fu and Cen Shan are also very close friends, a career is bumpy, there is no hope of seeking an official, a 30-year-old still has nothing to achieve, and similar fates make them have many common topics.
Later, Du Fu settled in Chengdu, Cen Shan was demoted to Jiazhou as a thorn history, after not seeing for many years, they had agreed to drink wine, but because of the sudden rebellion, the thief was in charge, and missed the last opportunity to meet in this life.
After Du Fu and Gao Shi parted from Chang'an, they had not seen each other for decades, and when they met again, they were already white.
As the years passed, Du Fu and his friends were scattered in the sea of people and lost at the fork in the road of life.
As Milan Kundera put it, "It's a world of pops leaving." ”
When he was a teenager, he didn't know where he was, and he could soon make new friends.
When people reach middle age, more people get off the bus than they get on the bus.
Because of the busy work at work, there is no longer the leisure to go to a drink, and I can only hurry up and say a few words.
Because of the family trivia, the date of the appointment was repeatedly delayed, and when they finally met, they did not say anything.
Gradually, the contact between friends faded and there was no bondage.
Zhang Xiaoxian once said: "After parting, will we still see each other tomorrow?" Tomorrow, perhaps, is the end of the world. ”
Mountains a ride, water a ride, middle age is a gathering age.
The confidants who are left behind, and the old friends who leave, raise a glass to wish them peace and joy, and may there be a return date.
02
Zhang Ailing described the life of middle-aged people in "Half Life": "When you open your eyes, you are all people who rely on him." ”
When people reach middle age, there are people outside who are sophisticated, and there are chai rice oil and salt inside, and every piece has to worry about.
There are parents to support, and there are children waiting to be fed, and piles are all big things.
The teenager did not know the taste of sorrow.
Twenty-year-old Du Fu dressed in fresh clothes and angry horses, looked through the mountains and rivers, and lived a carefree life.
After getting married and having children, the mountain of life suddenly stands in front of you.
In the ten years of Chang'an, rice was expensive and life was very poor.
Unable to afford the house price, he had to move again and again, and finally moved to the desolate suburbs of the capital.
Because the rice jar has no particles, the makeup box has no gold and silver, the whole family is full and hungry, the children are yellow and thin, and the younger son who is not yet one year old even dies of hunger.
During the days when they were wandering in Chengdu, the family also had a rather desolate life.
With the help of relatives and friends, they opened a small vegetable garden, and his wife Yang made it at sunrise, fertilizing and watering an acre and a third of the land, and after sunset, she sewed torn and torn clothes by the light of rice grains.
At the huan creek, they also built a simple hut, and when the cold wind whistled and the rain poured, the adults and children were cold all night.
Faced with the accompanying poverty, hunger and disease, Du Fu, as the pillar of the family, was worried all the time.
More than a thousand years later, Du Fu's life shone into reality.
We middle-aged people still have a thousand sorrows and all kinds of sufferings like Du Fu.
We will be worried because the old man's body is sick every time;
Children's learning, have to follow step by step in a busy schedule;
In the face of the pressure of mortgage and car loan, it is difficult to stretch the eyebrows...
As the saying goes: "Before fear of wolves, after fear of tigers, people are as bold as rats in middle age." ”
Shouldering a thousand weights, we walked carefully with each step, and we could not withstand the slightest toss.
Every day, I work hard to protect my family.
03
Kitajima wrote a poem, "The Polish Visitor":
"Then we had dreams, about literature, about love, about traveling through the world. Now we drink late at night, and when the cups touch together, it's the sound of broken dreams. ”
When he was young, Du Fu also had dreams.
He is conceited to learn five cars, and his friends are all Confucians with Eguan Bo belt, hoping to become a generation of everyone.
He had the ideal of ruling the country and the world, and he wanted to emulate Yao Shun and make the people's customs simple.
When I plunged into society, the dream of my youth shattered.
In the sixth year of Tianbao, Tang Xuanzong sent people with a skill to Chang'an to take the exam.
Du Fu, who had failed the list once, also took this exam.
At that time, Li Linfu, the minister of power, personally selected the candidates.
He was afraid that the ignorant readers would expose his dereliction of duty, and he was worried that the new candidates would not be able to use him.
Therefore, he wrote and directed a farce of "wild and untouchable", so that all the scholars were defeated.
The road to the imperial examination did not work, and Du Fu ran around, giving poems and gifts in order to get recommendations from the magnates.
It is a pity that the waist is bent over and over again, in exchange for the hope of losing time and again.
Later, the emperor granted Du Fu a minor official in Hexi, responsible for judicial arrest and collection of taxes.
For this position had to often visit the chief, and would whip the people for collecting taxes.
Du Fu was proud and unwilling to commit himself to such a position.
The imperial court also asked him to manage the access control lock key.
This time, the forty-four-year-old Du Fu did not willfully refuse again.
He sighed helplessly and accepted this useless position for his livelihood, mocking himself as "Shaoling YeLao" for being old and achieving nothing.
The ideal is not worth a few pieces of broken silver, and the value of the proud bone is not as good as three buckets of brown rice.
Wang Xiaobo said: "Life is a slow process of being hammered, people grow old day by day, and luxury hope disappears day by day." ”
This sentence is written by Du Fu and by us.
When I was a teenager, I thought that what I wanted would be gained, and when I got older, I found that it often backfired.
Not all efforts lead to success; trying your best can be a void.
Many people live as Maugham said: I have done my best to live an ordinary life.
We will inevitably be lost, and we will eventually run counter to the aspirations of our youth, and eventually live as ordinary people who are mediocre.
▽
Reading Du Fu is reading the suffering of an era and the sorrow and joy of a middle-aged man.
People are not middle-aged and do not know the suffering of the world.
In the past, we were not afraid of the bumps of time; now we feel that this world is safe and precious.
In the past, we talked about dreams, but now we know that Lotte knows life.
But as Sanmao said, each stage of life has its own different scenery.
When you stand on the mountainside of life, you will see another kind of beauty, that is, the maturity under the precipitation of time, the transparency of the world after polishing, and the arrogance of facing suffering.
No matter how old you are, life is always bitter and sweet.
Give it a thumbs up, may all middle-aged people find their own happiness and live calmly and smoothly.