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In the empty corridor, there was only the sound of the girl's clicking footsteps, and when she stood in front of the door, she rang the doorbell.
For a long time no one answered.
The girl gradually showed a sense of anxiety that was different from ordinary people, and she slammed the door frantically, calling out to her mother over and over again in her mouth. The camera moves upwards, and the cyan iron door is firmly hung with the number 902.
She went down the wrong floor.
The girl was dumbfounded, mocking her own carelessness. When he knocked on his door, the words that had been organized were suffocated into his throat after seeing his mother's indifferent and alienated face.
It was as if nothing had happened to her along the way.
This is the opening chapter of Hummingbird.
As the debut of female director Kim Paula, "Hummingbird" is also known as "Memories of Killing" in Korean youth films, although the tone of the two films is particularly different.
In "Memories of Killing", the long-ago murder case outlines the darkness of that era, while "Hummingbird" only portrays the girl's unremarkable youth career in 139 minutes and more than 2 hours from a rare female perspective.
But "Hummingbird" is the same as "Memories of Killing", with real and dreamy brushstrokes intertwining the protagonist's powerlessness and despair in the sharp gray of the times.
And Kimbera's understanding of youth and the times makes this film have a more subtle capture of the level and realism of girls' generation.
The protagonist of "Hummingbird" is a 14-year-old girl, Kim Eun-hee.
From the beginning, the director has laid a long foreshadowing from Eun Hee's family, which is the origin of Eun Hee's confused youth.
As presented at the beginning, Eun Hee always has a thick barrier between himself and his family. In fact, the relationship with this family of five under the roof is not even as good as that of ordinary roommates.
The mother was cold and numb, and there were no mood swings from beginning to end. Even with a lump of flesh growing behind her daughter's ear, her reaction was faint to the point of almost dullness.
Father was the authority in the family and always complained about life. The dinner table is his own world, where he can insult anyone, but others can only be silent.
The older brother is the epitome of the father, the most vivid representative of patriarchy. When facing his father, he was cautious and did not dare to come out, but he arbitrarily scolded the two sisters, and even attacked Eun Hee, who had just finished surgery, causing Eun Hee to tear his eardrums.
Sister Soo-hee is even more pitiful than Eun-hee, she fails the exam, and the slightest mistake will be targeted by her father, and it is common to be beaten and punished for kneeling. In the movie, Xiuxi's eyes are always empty and numb, and he loses all his radiance at a young age.
The family seemed to be forever shrouded in dead silence, and when they sat together, it was like a pot of lifeless porridge. Such a family makes Eun Hee depressed and powerless, and when he is with his family, Eun Hee never smiles.
However, hummingbirds keep swinging their wings and struggling, not to adapt to the hardships and bitterness of life, but to pick a fine sweetness in the overwhelming bitterness.
Girlfriends and boyfriends are the sweetness of Eun Hee's life.
Girlfriend Ji Sook and Eun Hee have a similar experience, and the unfortunate family and never-ending beatings are the reasons why they resonate and are close to each other.
So, the two people, just like ordinary girls, went to class together, passed messages with small notes, laughed at the teacher on the podium, played together, flew up and down on the trampoline, and harvested the simple happiness that belonged to young girls.
And Eun Hee and her boyfriend are not so much in love as they are exploring the emotions that make them curious.
It's like Eun-hee pulling her boyfriend into the dark, carefully kissing him on the lips, only to spit out a mouthful of water in the next moment because of strangeness and nausea.
This is the truest reaction of a young girl when faced with an unknown emotion.
But in love, the sense of cherishing that is seen as unique still makes up for Eun Hee's emotional lack, and she can't help but rejoice.
But where in this world there are indestructible feelings, and the vagaries of youth make this thing even more fragile.
When the boy with ten fingers tied to him wrapped his arms around someone else's shoulders, when the rebellious girl who smoked with him betrayed himself, Eun Hee lay powerless on the table, feeling that his world was about to collapse.
Female teacher Yingzhi sat quietly and brewed a pot of calming oolong tea for Eun Hee.
Young-hee is a very special person in Eun-hee's life, and when they first meet, Eun-hee feels that Young-hee is different from others.
At that time, the female teacher leaned by the window, smoking a cigarette faintly, and her thin figure and outstanding temperament immediately attracted Eun Hee's attention, and the strangeness and wantonness in her bones almost confused Eun Hee's eyes.
But although she looks cold and indifferent, and teaches Eun-hee to "not randomly sympathize with anyone", she still can't control her tenderness and listen to all the sadness and confusion of this girl.
Young-chi once taught Eun-hee a Chinese: "Acquaintance is all over the world, and there are few people who know each other."
The chinese characters written by the female teacher are not beautiful, and Eun Hee learns in the clouds and fog, and seems to understand non-understanding. But in getting along with Yingzhi, she slowly understood the meaning of this sentence.
They obviously have so many age differences and have known each other for a long time, but they are incomparably similar. Even though the teacher was just moaning most of the time, the concern and closeness in her still warmed Eun Hee.
In the company of the teacher, it seems that everyone has begun to develop in a good direction.
Although Eun Seol's post-ear tumor required surgery, the operation brought her long-lost family warmth. Her father wept bitterly for her suffering, and her mother left a series of earnest exhortations.
Even the elementary school girl, who had only met her a few times, came to the hospital to see her and told her that she liked it, purely, only because of her personal liking.
Eun-hee says to Young-ji, "It's good to be sick."
Illness requires surgery, leaving a person alone in the hospital, and the wound will leave ugly scars, but Eun Hee still feels that it is good to be sick. As soon as she was sick, everything she had longed for before seemed to be everything.
Ying Zhi looked at her with pity, and she said, "Don't get beaten again."
In Eun-hee's trepidation, Young-ji stared at her and said word by word, "If anyone hits you again, you will resist no matter what."
She still remembers the helplessness and depression of this girl at home, the disregard of her parents for her, and the punches and kicks of her brother. So she told her not to be beaten again and made a deal with her to resist.
They looked at each other and smiled, as if such an agreement could really make Eun Hee come back to life.
However, where the hurricane is so easy to dissipate, the honey that hummingbirds have exhausted their lives has become so vulnerable under the erosion of wind and rain.
When I was discharged from the hospital, the house was empty, the student's words "That was last semester", and the Yingzhi teacher who suddenly disappeared and couldn't wait for it.
The warmth that the girl had placed on the tip of her heart before, like a fleeting flower that had only opened for a moment, withered away in an instant, leaving only her withered longing and persistence.
All of Eun-hee's sanity crumbled at the moment of being questioned by her father, and she screamed wildly, refuting their reproachful words and sentences, and she fulfilled their agreement in the most drastic way.
"Eun Hee, resist no matter what."
But she failed.
The brother slapped her eardrum, and the father made a few accusations without pain, but the focus was on him beating his sister "in front of his father".
More than ten years of punches and kicks have been gently exposed, as if as long as "not in the face of the father", all the actions of the brother are reasonable.
What is the meaning of such a life, such a self?
Eun Hee is back to the days when she was not alarmed, her girlfriend is still a girlfriend, and her boyfriend is still a boyfriend.
The intense emotions of her youth always calmed down quickly, and the pain in the girl's heart, after all, like the wound behind her ear, left only an ordinary scar.
It looked cruel and vicious, but it didn't hurt so much.
The bridge collapsed very suddenly, and the tv was broadcast wildly, and the students were also discussing enthusiastically. Eun-hee trembled and dialed the number, the bus that her sister often took, and something had happened.
The sharp pain pierced the hearts of the entire family, and after some chaos, Xiuxi sat quietly in a chair. She was lucky not to catch the bus that had crashed.
My brother was crying next to him, not knowing whether it was because of guilt or because of the pressure of life.
Eun Hee breathed a sigh of relief, her secret pains fluttering in the face of fate.
Ying Zhi also sent a package, which contained letters and gifts for her. She apologizes to Eun Hee and says that the next time we meet, she will definitely explain the reason to Eun Hee.
The aftermath of Soo-hee's disaster and Young-ji's letter bring Eun-hee back to life, and she excitedly prepares to give Young-chi a rice cake and finds Young-chi's home according to the address on the package.
The teacher will be very happy to see her.
The rice cake was not delivered, and Eun Hee only saw Young-chi's mother.
With tears in her eyes, she repeated over and over again: "The bridge... How could the bridge collapse..."
Yeah, how did the bridge collapse?
A life so vivid and beautiful that Young-ji suddenly ended in Eun-hee's fourteen-year-old memory.
What is youth?
Is it the ignorant feelings of young boys and girls, or the overly curious exploration of unknown events?
For Eun Hee, youth is a process of separation from scars.
All the happiness, sadness, pain, and intensity have become the brand of the girl's youth along with the people around her, witnessing her step by step growth.
So Eun Hee can stand in front of her boyfriend who has betrayed and turned back again and again, and say flatly, "I never liked you."
She can also shuttle through the countless young figures, looking at them or flamboyant or shy, or frustrated or happy faces, leaving a light and shallow smile.
Those suddenly torn wounds, which eventually healed at a strange speed, became cruel and tender memories that prompted the girl to grow up.
"Teacher, will my life shine one day?"
When hummingbirds flap their wings and keep flying in the wind in search of sweetness, your life has begun to shine.
Like every lost youth.
Text/Pippi Film Editorial Department: It's eating fish
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