We live in an era in which there is no shortage of medicines and medicines, and the material and spiritual life is extremely rich, and we have not experienced the plague raging, let alone the chaos of the army, and we have caught up with a good era of peace and prosperity.
However, young people, middle-aged people and even the elderly who grew up in this great age are more or less lamenting their fate. People complain inadvertently, curse unconsciously, and reap the rewards of anxiety, fatigue and bitterness day by day.
Animals are happy as long as they don't get sick or starve. People can't, and living a dull life is so terrible. We are fed the body, but the mind is not under our control, and if left unchecked, the mind will fly into the boundless darkness.
1. Pessimism
Pessimists believe that people are born to suffer, and it is difficult for people with such ideas to have a positive concept of life. Labels such as "life is short" are thus given some kind of power, and the misfortune of this life seems to be ended only by death.
The Buddha said: Suffering is happiness, and happiness is suffering. Confucianism says: Blessings and misfortunes lie down, and misfortunes and blessings depend on them. The sad person should look at both sides of a thing dialectically, because there is no absolute thing in this world.
Life may be short, but there is also sweetness, and it is advised to tear off the label of pessimism as soon as possible.
2. Excessive competition
The amount of income is not only a manifestation of a person's ability, but also a happiness index implied by this society.
To improve performance, office workers want to win more time, they must throw trivial work to colleagues; entrepreneurs must occupy more markets and seize consumers; and self-employed people must plan profits from cost.
Almost every adult strives for the best interests of life, but the result is that work replaces life; almost every adult is angry and mad at the failure in the competition, and also whines at the pressure of the competition.
The amount of income has a direct proportional relationship with the level of pressure, and the purpose of human resources is to put the right people in the right positions to obtain a stable income.
It's not that I don't encourage competition, it's just that we should do what we can, and excessive competition will break the original balance, and people who lose their sense of balance will be farther and farther away from happiness.
3, try to get rid of the boredom
Boredom is considered a negative emotion, and whenever we think of this word, we always have to find some fun to drive away boredom.
The further time goes, the more boring the world becomes, and our ancestors are much more bored than we are, and we are more afraid of boredom than our ancestors. Russell pointed out that the ability to endure boredom is the key to a happy life.
Modern people live longer and longer, but they have less and less time for themselves. In order to "cherish time", we can not go to bed at night and squeeze the time of sleep for entertainment; On precious weekends, no matter how physically and mentally exhausted, you also have to arrange an activity for the whole family; in the rare long holiday, the day after day of the meal is busier than the work.
In order not to bored themselves, people will come up with a hundred and a thousand tricks, because excitement will make people much happier. However, excitement is also a "drug", which makes people addicted and deeper and deeper, and while they are mentally addicted, the body will become dull.
True fun is something you try to create and nurture yourself, and get it out of your own environment.
Cultivate a hobby that you like in a time that you don't have to do. The kind of pleasure that can be easily obtained without trying should be minimized.
1. Guilt
Our people have a virtue that has been handed down - humility and self-reflection. These qualities are certainly conducive to our growth, but the key to any problem lies in the "degree".
People with guilt will have inferiority, cowardice, lack of self-confidence, these people are prone to arrogance, harsh on themselves and harsh on others, making it difficult to get along.
When you are regretting an act, reflect on the reason for the remorse, and if it is not too evil, then convince yourself to let go and leave it alone.
People's position should not be swayed by others, one moment believe in this, the next time believe in that, people are cloudy. People who maintain their own views are usually also emotionally stable, which is extremely important for achieving happiness.
2, fear evaluation, live in the eyes of others
If you act afraid, others will regard you as a good prey; if you act indifferent, others will doubt their own strength and dare not provoke you. Russell pointed out that as long as they are not anti-social, people should maintain their nature and follow their own tastes.
In modern society, the power of the media is constantly improving, and the emergence of new media has made people dare to comment publicly on the platform, even irrational attacks. The widespread dissemination of speech prevents victims from being left unaddressed.
Remember the injury of the tiger in the Beijing Wildlife Park, the person concerned not only had to endure physical pain, the grief of losing a loved one, but also faced the overwhelming insults on the Internet. She didn't dare to go out, couldn't imagine her future life, and after thinking about it, she decided to stand in front of the media. As she put it, "The wounds on the body have long since healed, but the wounds in the heart can no longer heal."
Any act that renders innocent people unlovable should be stopped, even if they have said or done it, and should not be maliciously publicized and despised.
The only way to eradicate this is to make the public tolerant and to allow more people to enjoy happiness. Because happy people can uphold more compassion and tolerance.
1. Fatigue
The most serious is mental fatigue, most modern people live a life of nerve loss, exhaustion, forgetting happiness.
Exhaustion stems from anxiety, the pace of life is fast, there are always things that cannot be dealt with, and there are always problems that cannot be solved. Wave after wave of worries, most people can not control their thoughts, can not stop thinking is easy to fall into anxiety.
The most productive way is to get rid of anxiety through life philosophy and mental training. Smart people nourish their spirits at night and think purposefully during the day. Anxious people, on the other hand, toss and turn at night, unable to solve problems, resulting in confused thinking during the day and grumpy handling problems.
By cultivating a structured mind that thinks only at the right time, you can increase efficiency and happiness at the same time.
2. Jealousy
Not being happy because of what you have, but grieving because of what others have is a common human disease.
In order to reduce jealousy, we may as well increase envy or not think about things that are meaningless.
In this world, there are people who are more successful than you, you can't beat everyone, then find a life that satisfies nature, and your eyes will not fall elsewhere. Learn to transcend yourself in order to gain unlimited freedom.
3. Delusions of persecution
People who have been controlled by this delusion for a long time will not have happiness to speak of, and they will always put on a posture of resistance and be ready to fight at any time.
Although there are many complicated factors in society, because you are too busy, most people will not care about you very much and then persecute you.
People who overestimate their own value and think they are excellent and talented are the other extreme.
Through mental training, keep a normal mind and don't take yourself too seriously.
From "self-centered" to "I will turn the world without me", the confusion of "me" in thinking is a good medicine to treat this emotion.
Most people live an ordinary life, and even ordinary life has to go through wind and rain to see the rainbow.
Those visible and invisible obstacles, if successfully crossed, will make our lives much easier.
I will continue to share the next part of "Russell on Happiness" for you later.
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