The favorite thing is to lie at home, and the relationship always ends abruptly... This Saturday night, "Do Not Disturb" ushered in a typical otaku, who in his view of feelings actually believed that "liking others is hurting yourself". How to fall in love with an otaku? It has become a hot topic on the spot. The three teachers said: Although otaku have certain evasive psychology and defense mechanisms in love, single-mindedness and independence are also their advantages. The otaku himself must strive to enrich and open himself, and the other half must also help him relieve the pressure, give him a safe space, accept the other party from the heart as a whole, and carefully understand each other's various feelings, which is indispensable for every happy relationship.
Can you accept falling in love with an otaku?
Male guest Gao Bo is a typical otaku, "My favorite thing is to lie at home, watch anime, play games." But I'm an otaku who loves to be clean, my home is very clean, and I like to do housework when I'm in a bad mood. Female guest Tang Yu couldn't help but ask: "You are so homely, what if your girlfriend likes to go out and play?" The male guest responded: "When you need me to accompany me, I can also go out with you; if you don't need it, it's good that I stay at home, and if you want to find me, you can definitely find it, I'm at home." ”
Can you accept falling in love with an otaku? The female guests expressed their views one after another. Wu Xuan said, "I'm a housewife myself, if I'm at home, I can lie down and never sit, but I don't want to find someone who is exactly like me." Pang Yuhui said: "I am also very homely, I can exaggerate to lie in bed all day, in order not to get out of bed or even eat only one meal a day, but I don't like cleaning." The male guest was quite suitable for me, we stayed together, and then he was responsible for cleaning. Yang Auroran also expressed his good feelings for the male guests, "I think the otaku is very good, the things he likes are very specific and long-term, the social circle is relatively fixed, there will be no too complicated interpersonal relationships, it is very good to find a boyfriend like this." ”
Happy love is inseparable from acceptance and understanding
Will this thing affect the relationship? Gao Bo said: First of all, his social circle is too small, "basically do not contact people, only a few friends." "I am not very confident in my feelings," the two relationships I talked about basically ended hastily, as if I couldn't feel the feeling of being in love, and I felt that I was a dispensable existence for others. I have paid my heart for my past feelings, but there are no good results. So sometimes I feel that liking others is hurting myself. ”
Female guest Feng Kunyang shared her experience, "I had a special stay for a while, but suddenly one day I thought, did I live 365 days a year, or did I repeat the day 365 times? Male guest, I suggest you can change your lifestyle. Gao Bo said frankly: "It may be related to my growing environment, when I was a child, my parents did not have a harmonious relationship, and I often quarreled, so I liked to hide alone." In the relationship, when I find that the state of two people is slightly wrong, the first thing that comes to mind is to protect myself. Meng Fei said: "From the experience of male guests, it can be seen that the growth environment has a particularly great impact on a person. If the parents quarrel, the child may choose an otaku state in the future, preferring to stay by himself and not willing to participate in too many things. Especially in terms of feelings, there will be some avoidance and defense, and even think 'I like you may be hurt'. ”
How to fall in love with a male guest like an otaku? Chen Ming suggested that male guests should first solve their own "closed life" problem, "because you are not an open life state now, the radius of life dynamics has been limited." We only have one life, and would you feel sorry if it was just copied every day? We are not accusing you of your lifestyle, but only suggesting trying a new state, to enrich yourself, to open yourself, only if the mind is more mature and experienced, it is difficult for you to be hurt and knocked down. If your other half is an otaku or an otaku, Meng Fei and Huang Lan suggest: "We should affirm their advantages, such as single-mindedness and independence, but they are just eager for a particularly stable and secure feeling." We must accept each other as a whole from the heart, and don't put too much pressure on each other. In the process of getting along, try to communicate smoothly and gently, do not fight and dodge, and give them a certain amount of safe space. When the other party feels your acceptance and understanding, the sense of security and trust will continue to accumulate, and the feelings of the two people will be more happy and long-lasting. ”
The male guest said: "I am especially looking forward to meeting a girl who really understands me on the stage, in fact, I have been looking forward to a girl who makes my heart beat faster!" "In the end, can he hold hands with the person he loves?"
Watch tips: Jiangsu Satellite TV's "Do Not Disturb" (August 21) is brilliantly staged at 20:30 this Saturday night!