A few days ago, I saw a post on the Internet, and someone launched a vote saying that in the circle of our baby-raising circle in the past 2018, which parenting new words have pierced the hearts of countless parents, and what is the noun that ranks first? The word is called "reading cool cool".
Noun annotation: refers to accompanying the baby to write homework to accompany life to despair, life is loveless.
2018 can be said to be the year with the most accidents in writing homework with the baby, some people accompany the baby to write homework to write about stroke, some people accompany the reading to the recurrence of heart disease, some people simply accompany the child to the monastic family, and some people accompany the reading to get the teacher qualification certificate by the way... The end result is that mothers similar to the first two types have basically entered a state of self-abandonment, while the latter two types of mothers have successfully become Buddhas.
Some mothers are really accompanied by reading to helpless, simply in advance in the circle of friends to recruit relatives, promised to wait until the child is 18 years old must be equipped with a room with a car with a bride price, there is only one requirement, that is, quickly ask the future relatives to pick up the child in advance, by the way, the homework tutor.
Speaking of life-saving matters, money, houses, and so on are all things outside the body, let it go.......
It seems that every mother who accompanies the reading has a history of bitter blood and tears! No wonder some netizens sighed: writing homework is simply the first killer to destroy the parent-child relationship!
Moms have all seized the opportunity to "accompany reading", so where have the fathers gone?
A recent video is on fire, following the collapse of the mothers' reading army, the fathers who were originally very temperamental have also begun to enter the "progressive collapse" mode, and the wives are hiding to the side to secretly make fun of "Your little lover is still cute, isn't it?" "You can feel a look of schadenfreude across the screen.
Whoever lets you usually watch others roar at the tutoring homework will always remind others to restrain themselves, and as a result, it is their turn to play...
Secretly filming Dad's "gradual collapse" tutoring homework Mom schadenfreude: Your little lover is still cute isn't it? _yoo Video Selection_Tencent Video
Ridicule to ridicule, self-deprecation to self-deprecation, their children still have to worry about themselves after all, so is it really not saved to accompany their children to write homework? The following super detailed practice recommended by the class teacher is worth watching by parents!
<h1>01. How do you remind your child to complete their homework? </h1>
"Hurry up and write!" How many hours are you going to write about this assignment? ”
"Write carefully, write well!"
"If you don't finish your homework today, don't eat at night!"
Do these words feel familiar? Let's take a seat and say a few words to yourself.
Listening to these words, the more obedient child may consciously begin to write, and the disobedient child may reluctantly walk to the desk, start rubbing and rubbing, and begin the difficult homework journey amid your threatening warnings.
In fact, we can think about it from another position, if you are a child, what kind of mood will you feel when you hear someone talking to you in the above languages, plus the tone of command and control. First of all, when we use the above methods to urge children to write homework, the real information received by the child's brain is: I am being controlled, I am being commanded! At the same time, the first message output by the brain is actually "reject", rather than "action".
So when you ask your child to write homework in a commanding tone, you're already pushing your child in the direction of resisting yourself. If a person does not instinctively do something, then he will not seriously complete it, at least the possibility of achieving good results is minimal!
Many parents ask their children to complete something, the most common words on their lips are "you must..." "you should..." "You want to ..." "You want to ..." at this time, if you change the way, change the tone, say to the child "do you want to....", Next are you..." "You want to go first...".
Don't underestimate such a small change in the tone of speech, divide a simple sentence into three or five sentences, so that the way you speak, at first you may feel very tired, you may think that waiting for the child to answer by himself, than you directly tell him the answer to save time.
But in fact, for children, after thinking, the words that come out of their mouths are much more useful than the words they hear. Talk to the child with the tone of inquiry in the back, the child will not appear passive when doing things, and will have the awareness and enthusiasm to actively participate.
<h1>02, how important it is to let children have a sense of participation</h1>
I remember when my child first started the first grade of primary school, the teacher would remind parents in the WeChat group every day to remind and help the child to put the books to be in class the next day into the bag according to the class schedule, so as not to miss. At the beginning, I thought that the child was still young, and it was not too late to collect it myself when I was older. Every night, I personally helped her tidy up her school bag, and the items she should bring did not fall into it. During that time, she had no consciousness of sorting out her own school bag, as if this matter had nothing to do with her.
But one day, because I was working too late, I came home exhausted and put one less book in my bag. The next day, as soon as my daughter saw me, she began to complain: "Mom, from today on, I don't need you to help me sort out my school bag, you forgot to help me put the language book in yesterday, which caused me to be criticized by the teacher in class today!" Since then, she has carefully arranged her school bag according to the class schedule after writing her homework every day, and she has not missed anything once.
Many parents help the child to put the books well before the child writes homework, write the homework to help the child put away the books, it seems that the child's task is only to complete the homework in a public manner, the child has no sense of ownership from beginning to end, she does not think that learning this matter includes placing books and sorting out the school bag, for her, it seems to be just to complete the requirements of the teacher and parents, this time the child will be a face of the attitude of staying out of the matter.
For the matter of writing homework, parents must not be noisy, if you are really not at ease can supervise the child's execution, do not replace the child's execution. Only when the child identifies from the heart as part of the task of completing the homework and is the most important subject, will his brain output positive signals. Only in this way will he have the consciousness to take the initiative to complete the homework.
<h1>03, how to make it easy to accompany this matter? </h1>
When communicating with your child, try not to use a commanding tone
Put "When you're done eating, hurry up and go to your writing homework." Replace it with: "Now that we're done eating, what should we do next?" ”
Put "Write the language first, and then write the math after writing the language." Replace it with: "Do you want to write Chinese or math first?" ”
In this way, a small change in the way of communication is precisely to allow the child to convert from the passive acceptance party to the active thinking party, and increase the child's sense of participation.
Understand the reasons why your child is struggling with homework and develop corresponding countermeasures
Children write homework slowly, in fact, a large part of the reason is because it will not, many parents seem to be very simple topics, it is possible in the eyes of children is not enough to cross the mountain, many parents will not see the child this problem will not, that problem is not familiar with the beginning of anxiety, and then began to get angry.
At this time, parents should not be impatient or urgent, and must understand what the knowledge points that the child will not be or unfamiliar with are.
In fact, the problems that the lower grade children will not have, can rely on more practice to improve, parents understand the children will not be the topics are what, you can prepare a special book, the knowledge points recorded. For these knowledge points, every day out of a similar type of problems for children to use a few minutes to do it, do not get angry when they are wrong, carefully explain to the child, and then continue to practice every day until the child is familiar.
Of course, do not make a test paper to let the child do it every day, that will only aggravate the child's resistance to writing homework.
Let the child set their own reward goals and rules
My child comes back every night to play the piano for an hour in addition to writing homework, but often after writing homework, it is almost eleven o'clock, because every time she plays the piano, she is very resistant, and she resists, and a grinding hour of playing the piano often becomes an hour and a half.
Later, I had a deep communication with the child and learned that the reason why the child was playing the piano slowly was because every time I finished playing the piano, I urged her to hurry to sleep, depriving her of the right to read before going to bed (she did not realize that it was because she wasted a lot of time playing the piano to cause this result). Later, the child proposed a plan by herself, that is, to adjust the study time, play the piano first when she came back from school, if she played the piano seriously, she was allowed to read 20 minutes of extracurricular books, and then write homework after dinner, if the homework was fast and good, she was allowed to read 20 minutes of extracurricular books before going to bed.
It was so pleasantly decided, with the motivation to read extracurricular books, that the child would now be basically ready to fall asleep before ten o'clock.
Allowing children to actively participate in the formulation of the plan, put forward reasonable opinions and adopt them, is a key element in setting learning reward and punishment goals.
Dr. Wei's 50 Science Parenting Lessons
When you know how to give your child enough respect and return the right to be responsible for yourself to your child, you will find that in fact, accompanying the study is not a matter at all!
I am a working mother of two children, like to read, write, draw, left hand pen with right hand with a baby, firmly believe that even if life is a chicken feather, the heart must also have their own yearning poems and far away, like my friends can pay attention to my headline number or add my WeChat: xupei4635, you can also pay attention to my WeChat public account: write a diary with the baby, discuss parenting issues together.