01
A variety show about marriage, about divorce, "Goodbye Lover", is finally over. The stories that happen these days have made a lot of gains for many people whose marriages are in deep trouble. Many people have seen different problems in different marriages more or less from the three pairs of guests, some empathy, some surprise discoveries, or sudden realizations. Perhaps, this is the point of the show. It is enough to be able to touch, and to influence, or guide your own life.
After the show, everyone's views on the three pairs of guests also went through several ups and downs, and finally there was a clear judgment and understanding. And the remarriage of Guo Keyu and Zhang He, who was once optimistic, also made people heartache and regret with the end of the show. And Zhang He, who was once exaggerated, gradually had a lot of criticism.
Wei Wei and Wang Qiuyu have "whitewashed themselves" in the final episode of the show, while Zhang He is becoming less and less understood. After watching all the shows, I really just want to ask Zhang He, what do you really want?
Zhang He gave people a feeling of being very calm, very rational, very innocent, very hurt, very disappointed, very helpless, it seems that there are not many shortcomings exposed, he gives people the feeling that too much is accusation, accusing Guo Keyu of some problems. Although he sometimes admits his own problems, he feels more like Guo Keyu's problems.
And indeed, Guo Keyu gives people the feeling that at the beginning it is strange, the heart is heavy, and it is not good at opening the heart, but sometimes, there is a hip-hop, which makes people unable to see through, and always feels difficult to figure. At this point, Zhang He was also very troubled, and always felt that it was difficult to communicate with Guo Keyu. What he wanted, she always couldn't give. He always felt that Guo Keyu did not understand him.
02
Some people say that Zhang He seems to be very honest, but in fact, he is not sincere, he wrapped himself very well, seemingly no problem, in fact, the most unreal person. The most sincere and honest is Wei Wei, whose performance is more real, close to his own state, and never hides his emotions. You say that he is naïve or not, whether he is frank or not, in short, he is such a person, the emotional intelligence is very high, when analyzing the feelings of others, or how to get along, he is also the head of the Tao, he is everyone's pistachio.
And Wang Qiuyu, although his behavior is strange, but basically a person who really expresses himself, can stick to his inner thoughts, will not say anything against his heart in order to cater to whom, know who he knows, do not know, do not know, like is like, do not like to say dislike. Although it seems very boring and does not understand human feelings, in fact, it is still more sincere, not pretentious, not hypocritical. Sometimes it seems humorous. Of course, this humor is not intentional, but the humor inadvertently caused by his own actions.
And Zhang He, in Fanwaizhong such a self-understanding, he said: "KK is actually more emotionally intelligent than me, his empathy is stronger than me, in fact, Lao Wang is more real than me, it is really me in my whole journey, I feel this." So when I communicate with Guo Ke now, if she tells me a lot of details, I can receive this thing, knowing that she is sharing it with me. Really, there wasn't enough emotional intelligence before. He admits that his lack of emotional intelligence is also an improvement. Because he is too concerned about his own face and does not want people to see his bad side. Therefore, sometimes some performances that seem to be very sincere have become an act of concealing himself.
Guo Keyu's problem is that he is too literary. The heart is too rich. Or think too much about others, be too kind. Many things, she can see lightly, see lightly, can think openly, so it feels as if she has never been hurt by marriage. She knows Zhang He very well, and her heart is actually love. However, she feels that the other party can't get her love, which seems to be very hurt, and she is also helpless and sad. She doesn't know what the problem is, so many times, she is so confused and aggrieved and tolerant. Choose to accept this reality. Maybe she understood, but she couldn't express that feeling, causing the other party to misunderstand.
It is in the 36 questions, Guo Keyu is still giggling and insincere, but this annoys Zhang He, very heartache and helplessness, Guo Keyu, who is forced to be anxious, will respond, how can I not understand it. I just want to see you in a hurry. To put it bluntly, Guo Keyu understands Zhang He, and Zhang He does not really understand Guo Keyu. And Guo Keyu is not good at communication and does not want him to understand, which is the problem between them. It's deliberately not on a channel. In fact, the heart wants to love and be harmonious. Guo Keyu has always felt that Zhang He does not understand her, but sometimes when Zhang He does the right thing that Guo Keyu expects in his heart, she will also be moved and happy to say, It turns out that you understand me!
03
In the final choice, Zhang He got out of the car, but his attitude towards Guo Keyu after getting out of the car was quite disappointing. His explanation for getting off the bus was as follows, "I feel that although it is over with Guo Ke, I think it is a more perfect comparison with a blessing." "Actually, can you say that what he expects in his heart is not remarriage? Didn't he also see Guo Keyu get out of the car, and the two people rushed to each other? It's just that he still loves face and feels that he gets off the bus, while Guo Keyu didn't get off the car, as if he was low.
Fortunately, Guo Keyu got off later, but getting off the car was also a response to Zhang He, afraid that he would find it ugly, or hate himself more. Of course, it is also a kind of nostalgia, but also a kind of mutual comfort. However, it is such a hesitation that allows each other to see through completely, and it is impossible for each other to continue. Therefore, whether you get off the bus or not, it doesn't make much sense.
In fact, Guo Keyu is a truly mature person. Very sober and sane inside. Although sometimes, it seems very childish and childish. But when you really encounter a problem or analyze a problem, your heart is very clear. She said, "There are many faces of man, and no one is perfect." So, she can know what she is facing and what she is looking forward to, so she is neither happy nor too disappointed. The mentality is still relatively good.
04
The show is over, and ZhangHe's impression of the old good man has also changed a little. Looking back now, he was a little selfish, he was more emotionally focused on his own feelings, or rather, he was actually a bit overbearing, or macho. It's just that he's packaging or being more euphemistic.
He has what he wants in his heart, but he does not say it directly, always uses guidance or expectations of the other party to express what he wants in his heart, and when the other party deliberately does not say it, or does not say it in his heart at all, he will be disappointed.
Guo Keyu has a very good passage, and this passage just shows that she understands Zhang He. She said: "You set up a logic and a presentation, and when the other party does not follow this presentation to give you, you have no patience to listen." In the future, if you find the other half, what is the need of each woman, she also wants to be pampered, and she also needs to have a lot of hearts to be soothed by the words of the other party, if she has always been the key, then she will eventually be burned out. ”
Zhang He's performance is actually a communication barrier, related to personality, related to speaking habits, and it is difficult to change. So, after watching the show, I most want to ask Zhang He, what do you really want?
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Today's topic: What kind of person is Zhang He in your eyes? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.
★ Author: Siege of the Heart; Marriage and Family Counselor, Emotional Original Author, For love and love, I look for the direction of your happiness.