In order to survive, we can put down our dignity, and for the sake of face, we have to hide our disgraceful experiences and find ways to let others see our bright side.
But behind the brilliance, it is full of bitterness and confusion that others do not know.
When a person lives in this world, when ideals and reality collide, when we enter a new world and find that the world cannot tolerate ourselves at all, the only person who can be friends with you is actually yourself.
In the lives of people at the bottom of society, we may see them engaged in immoral transactions, but are their hearts dirty?
No, some people are just forced to make a living, some people are living in the eyes of others.
There is a movie called "Durian Fluttering", the protagonist of the movie, Qin Yan, is a kind woman, but in the 1990s, in order to pursue her dreams, she came to Hong Kong to find her own dream-seeking place, but reality gave her a slap.
She was originally a Peking Opera actress, practicing kung fu for eight years, but in her hometown she could not find a way to develop, she was very confused, but also very disappointed, so she decided to leave the northeast and come to the paradise hong Kong that everyone thought was a dream.
However, she did not expect that her art there was no one to appreciate, and the only source of life that could keep her alive was her body.
In Hong Kong, she has no one to rely on, no relatives, and no one to return, which can only be exchanged for the mocking eyes of her family and friends, so she is lost in the dust here, just to look good when she comes home.
Qin Yan came to Hong Kong and wanted to find a job that suited her, but when she searched and found it, only by selling herself could she gain a foothold here.
Looking at the golden Hong Kong, she can only choose this only way out.
So she followed the pimps every day between the tea restaurants and the mallets in Hong Kong.
The prosperity of Hong Kong is only a gray tone in her eyes, because she wears the streets, walks the alleys, enters the dimly lit rooms to trade with the guests, and every day except for the bath again and again, she can feel some comfort.
Hong Kong is also a great place to make money, as there is no shortage of customers.
In order to make more money, Ah Yan does not give herself any chance to rest, even eating is chewing, wolfing, saving time, is to appear in front of customers, every time she receives a guest, she will have more security in her pocket.
Putting on her backpack, arriving at the hotel, entering the house with her bathrobe, undressing and bathing guests has become her daily routine.
She is like a never-ending machine, her body is already numb, in her eyes all men are the same, just a tool to make money.
She lives the same way every day, and in her spare time, she also exchanges experiences with other women like her, how much money they make with each other, whether they have encountered some strange guests, and so on.
These women come from the north and south of the world, and their goal is the same, that is, to make money.
The city is bustling here, and Qin Yan is as small as an ant. And the little people like her are countless here.
Here, she met her good friend Ah Fen, who came to Hong Kong and could only live in a room of less than ten square meters, doing the lowest level of business, and barely supporting her family.
Compared with the big ones, their small size is completely negligible.
They lived very humble lives, and the oppression of life made them unable to lift their heads and breathe, but to Qin Yan's happiness, Ah Fen became her only friend in Hong Kong, because they shared each other's lives.
Of course, the two also met because of a chance encounter, and the poorer the person, the more they can exude the brilliance of humanity.
Even if they live at the bottom of society, they are willing to pay for their own goodness.
This may be the humble existence of small people, but sincerity and kindness cannot be hidden.
Hong Kong was just a paradise in Qin Yan's dreams, and then, after three months of living in Hong Kong, all she saw was the struggle of suffering and the desire of humanity.
She had only one goal, to go back as soon as her visa was over, but she didn't give up her last chance to earn money, and the day before she left, she set a record for receiving 38 guests a day.
Moreover, she also gave up the benefits given to her by the company, four days a month off and ocean park day trips.
Because, she had no time to waste.
Finally, she left Hong Kong, a place that she once dreamed of, and what was left here was not a dream, but a nightmare.
Going home became the greatest desire in her heart.
Although her hometown is poor and economically underdeveloped, it is her hometown and has her own relatives and home.
However, after she returned, the family's view of her changed, because she had money in her pocket, although no one knew how this money was earned, and the pain in her heart was only borne by her alone.
The family thought she had developed, and with the money she had bought, they invited friends and relatives to a meal.
Everyone thought she was doing well outside, and no one would know what had happened to her, because in this closed environment, the outside world was unknown to them.
Not only that, but many of her peers envied her and wanted to go outside like her.
Any explanation she had, though, was pale and feeble, because the money in her pocket had said it all.
Qin Yan lived a peaceful life, she quarreled with her parents as usual, greeted relatives and friends, found an ordinary job, bravely divorced her husband, and she wanted to live as herself.
However, when she received Affen's courier, a durian, it made her tears flow.
In those days, durian symbolized people's yearning for money, although it was smelly and hard, but because of its value, people were willing to spend a lot of effort to split it, pinch their noses and taste it.
And the peers who envy her, in order to realize their dreams, have also stepped on the train to the south.
Qin Yan wanted to persuade them, but he couldn't open his mouth, there were some things that he hadn't personally experienced, so how could he believe it?
And the secret in her heart, how to say it?
"Durian Fluttering" is such a movie about reality and human nature.
In real life, many people, like Qin Yan, followed in her footsteps, but who knows the bitterness in their hearts?
Maybe it was that era that created such a life, so if a person wants to live a light, he must do things down-to-earth, do not blindly pursue his dreams, because some things are not what you imagine.
Of course, it is human nature not to hit the south wall and not turn back, and some people do not turn back when they hit the south wall.
Life is like a dream, grasp it yourself, do not want to lose your way, you have to go out of a correct path.
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