Two days ago, I met my long-lost friend Xiaomei, and I was frightened: she was once beautiful and moving, and now her face is withered and her hair is still pitiful.
I asked, "What's up?" ”
She sighed deeply, "I'm anxious! As soon as I thought that the tour guide certificate had not been taken for 2 years, I was upset, and I could not pass the exam this year, then I would not be able to find a good job. If you can't find a good job, how do you support yourself? I'm so annoyed, I don't want to do anything, I just want to play with my phone. But as soon as I picked up the mobile phone, I was worried about the exam; reading books, and I felt that I couldn't do it, I was now sleeping all night, what should I do? ”
As soon as she finished speaking, she burst into tears.
In fact, the anxiety of friends is not unique, and young people who are suffering from anxiety like her in contemporary society abound. According to a survey by the British authoritative medical journal The Lancet, "There are currently more than 50 million anxiety patients in China. ”
Behind such a huge number, most people are battling anxiety disorders, so how can you get rid of anxiety and regain a stretched life?
Zhou Ling's book "Cognitive Awakening" gives us the answer.
The author Zhou Ling woke up when he was 36 years old, and he only knew how to play mobile phones and brush Weibo in his spare time, and the sudden accident of his colleagues suddenly woke him up: "What have I done all these years?" But after the awakening, it was accompanied by deep anxiety: "I am 36 years old, it is too late, everything is too late", which makes him feel powerless no matter what he does, but he took the initiative to change, began to dabble in brain science, cognitive science, psychology, sociology and other knowledge, and finally defeated anxiety, became a self-discipline master, and published his years of reflection into a book, that is, this "Cognitive Awakening", I believe that this book is equally useful for you who are struggling in anxiety.
In this book, the author Zhou Ling divides the causes of anxiety into 3 categories:
1. Live too much and be anxious
2. Anxiety when compared
3. The harder you try, the more anxious you become
The book also gives solutions to three typical anxieties, and I will give solutions one by one against the causes.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="15" > control the "meta-time"</h1>
Remember my former friend Xiaomei? In fact, her anxiety is caused by not being able to finish her life and not having time to prepare for the exam. Here's how she described her day:
"As soon as I came to the unit in the morning, I opened the computer to prepare for the work, colleagues suddenly asked me to help make a table, I didn't say a word, began to make a table, the table was done, I felt too tired, I played with the mobile phone, inadvertently played until 12 noon, I thought: "There is still time in the afternoon, the work that is not done in the morning will be done in the afternoon", and the result was called to a meeting in the afternoon, and it was opened to work. I had to stay and work overtime at night, where did I have time to read? ”
From Xiaomei's words, it is not difficult to find that the root of her anxiety is not enough time.
In fact, it is not difficult to solve Xiaomei's problem, the best way is to control the "meta-time": "All the time nodes facing the choice are meta-time", Xiaomei is in each time node of the choice, let others make decisions for her, the time of work is encroached upon by colleagues, let the mobile phone encroach, resulting in the inability to work.
3 ways to grasp meta-time:
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="21" >1. Be aware of the present time, examine the first reaction, and make a clear claim</h1>
Most of the time, we are pushed by time because of a lack of awareness, and when you are clear about what to do in the present time, you will actively block other distractions.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="23" >2. Stay awake for your day-to-day schedule and be clear about what you're going to do next</h1>
Will there be moments when people clearly concentrate on their work, but they accidentally lose their minds? It was hard to come back to God, but I forgot what I was going to do.
To focus, all we have to do is allocate time for each task, so that the brain knows exactly what to do at each step, and don't let distractions take advantage of it. At work, you can assist the pomodoro learning method, that is, working for 25 minutes - resting for 5 minutes, which is more efficient.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="26" >3. Keep thinking about long-term goals, and think clearly about long-term meaning and intrinsic motivation</h1>
When you hesitate between playing or learning, it's because we don't have a goal in mind. Whenever you hesitate, remember to ask yourself, "Does playing with your phone help you achieve your goals?" "When you think about what a goal means to you, it's not hard to put down your phone.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="28" > second, only compare with the past self</h1>
In addition to being troubled by chores, we sometimes get caught up in comparisons with others and become anxious.
I was in a high degree of anxiety for a while, that time I inadvertently brushed into the circle of friends of my high school classmates, she graduated from graduate school engaged in her own love of photography work, the circle of friends in the circle of photos beautiful and moving, showing the prosperity of Shanghai metropolis and her exquisite elegance. In contrast, I felt that I was living too badly, working low, working in a remote and desolate place, and began to be anxious: "When will I be able to live a glamorous life like her?" ”
This anxiety tormented me for a month, I had no intention of working, I was depressed all day, and then I stumbled upon this sentence: "It doesn't matter whether we walk in front or behind, we are all walking on a horizontal plane where there is no vertical axis, and we keep moving forward not to compete with anyone." Value lies in constantly surpassing oneself. ”
I just realized that everyone's education, knowledge structure, environment is different, there is a difference between people and people, the success of others does not mean my failure, what I have to do is to work hard for my own goals, move forward on my own track, only compared with yesterday's self, I believe that one day, I will also shine in my field.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="33" > three, work towards only one goal</h1>
I have a friend who has worked so hard that we laugh at her as a "chicken blood master", who fights in various exams every day, but now she is languishing.
She, ah, for a while wanted to learn both guitar and swimming, but also wanted to take the certificate of psychological counselor, often learned two or three o'clock in the morning, we all admired the five bodies, the result was not a week later, when I saw her again, but in the Glory of the King Grand Canyon.
I teased her, "Aren't you preparing for the exam?" Preparing for the exam in the game? ”
She made a crying expression and said, "What exam?" No more exams! I was too stupid to do anything well, I didn't learn all the 3 skills I wanted, and I gave up. ”
She began to abandon herself and lay flat.
The reason why she is like this is that a sentence in the book "Cognitive Awakening" hits the core: "When a person is faced with many tasks, his mental bandwidth will decrease, but he will have no mobility and self-control." ”
Therefore, we need to restrain our desires, figure out what we really want, focus on one life goal, and know that one person cannot sit in two chairs, otherwise nothing will be completed.
When we struggle with anxiety, it is inevitable that we will give up halfway and return to the original state of getting by. We have to be patient and allow ourselves to do badly at first, after all, people are inert and used to maintaining the status quo, but at this time you have to limit the time for yourself: "I allow myself to be decadent for 5 minutes, but after 5 minutes, I must re-devote myself to learning." 」 ”
The reason why I encourage everyone to read "Cognitive Awakening" is not only to let everyone overcome anxiety, but to let everyone really change themselves, see their own problems, and then take action to solve it. The author has also been emphasizing in the book: "For learning, thinking after learning, thinking after thinking, and changing after action are more important... Therefore, from the perspective of weight, the amount of change > the amount of action> the amount of thinking> the amount of learning. ”
If you are also anxious at the moment, please act now, only action can drive away anxiety.
Cognitive Awakening ¥5.99 Purchase