My Golden Age

To this day, every time I wait for the train at the platform and see the train enter the station, I always have the urge to stand up, even in the community where people and cars are diverted, through the sidewalk, I still perform one stop, two looks, three passes, and what is more embarrassing is that whenever I see an empty drink bottle, I always want to pick it up.

Because just drilling a small hole in the cap can make my work tools on the railway, oil bottles, plus walkie-talkies and large wrenches, these three tools can help me complete most of the work.

Putting on lubrication, checking for notches, so skilled that I felt like I could do it with my eyes closed, even if I didn't have the guts.

As long as there are no major changes in policy, I can rely on these skills until retirement, because the oil bottles are touching too much, and my hands are always very oily in those years, and there is always a smell of motor oil that cannot be washed off.

Whenever I see the oil flowing out of the bottle, I often think of the classic sentence of "The Oil Seller", without him, only the hands are familiar.

I never imagined that my work content would be so simple, but even if I was not willing to do these simple and repetitive tasks, it did not prevent me from smiling at the moment when my salary arrived, because compared with my peers in non-first-tier cities, my salary was not low.

The struggle was strong at first, but as the work experience grew, that discomfort had faded away, and even though I was no longer struggling, one thing was for sure, I was really not interested in rail technology, so I had no desire to continue delving into the business.

My work content finally had a major upgrade later, I entered the station, became a security guard, and then I wondered, is it because when I was working on the spot, did the leader think that I couldn't do anything, what was left to eat, and I could only let me do the protection in the station?

But in any case, I finally got to the point where I could earn money by talking.

No. 1 and No. 2 operation groups, there are no blocked cars in the station for the time being, and there is no shunting operation. I repeat this sentence countless times a day.

But I still want to know, what is the significance of this kind of work content for my future growth?

In addition to these two tasks, I have another job that I don't want to do, that is, construction supervision.

Every year there is construction on the railway, so I have a long time to deal with excavators, so I know a lot of excavator brands, I am curious if these drivers are all Lanxiang graduates.

The driver who dug the cable under my command was certainly not, because he was too skilled, and I was deducted 600 yuan, which was a huge amount of money for me at the time.

I always felt that construction supervision was a job where IQ was pressed against the ground, and we were always insulted by an animal whose IQ was safety monitoring, and there was basically a consensus in the rail system that we all called dogs.

But which breed of dog, I think they should be a kind of itinerant dog, because they are always present in all corners.

They are always very imaginative, I think they are more suitable for writing science fiction, they analyze problems, they are also the head of the Tao, and the deep ones have to be planed on the graves of their ancestors. Sometimes I think they've probably just been discharged from Peking University Sixth Hospital.

Our IQ is always rubbed on the ground by this group of dogs, my anti-detection ability is very bad, I don't have the ability of other colleagues to see the six ways and listen to the eight directions, so I often plant a head on supervision.

I've been bitten by dogs a lot, and to this day I still don't have a crush on people wearing stormtrooper suits, jeans, Colombians, or pathfinder trekking shoes.

Arriving at the construction site, after signing, we each found a suitable position, began the day's work, I always like to lie in the grass nest, playing with the branches of the bushes, watching the excavator slowly move from one place to another, for such a work content I secretly laughed, this laugh is helpless, this laugh makes me doubt life.

Listening to the classic joint control of the station attendant and the driver in the walkie-talkie, "bus k1384, 1 exit signal is good", "bus k1384, 1 outbound signal is good, the driver understands", I really want to reply, "go fucking".

Watching the white clouds that were about to fall down drift by, I deeply felt how empty and powerless my twenty-five or sixteen years old was, and I was thinking all the time about where my future path was.

I always think of a passage from Wang Xiaobo's "Golden Age".

"I was twenty-one years old that day, and in the golden age of my life, I had many extravagant hopes. I want to love, I want to eat, and I want to become a half-light and half-dark cloud in the sky in an instant, and later I learned that life is a slow process of being hammered, people grow old day by day, and their extravagance disappears day by day, and finally become like a hammered cow.

But I didn't foresee this on my twenty-first birthday. I felt like I was going to be fierce forever and couldn't hammer me with anything. ”

When I was twenty-five or six years old, my golden age was filled with the smell of motor oil and the noise of excavators, and I knew very well that I was being slowly hammered, and that extravagance and ideals were being stripped away little by little.