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After ten years of marriage with my husband, my relationship is very good, because I learn to communicate, and when I encounter problems, I do not blindly quarrel, but find ways to solve and communicate. But there is one thing that has always made me feel ashamed.
It is also a secret that cannot be said, sorry for my husband, although the matter has passed for a long time, I can not forget.
When I first got married, I often quarreled, because I felt that he did not love me enough, the changes in love and after marriage, he can always tolerate me when I am in love, even if I am wrong, he will take the initiative to make me happy, admit my mistakes, and should not make me angry.
But after the marriage often quarreled after the cold war, he ignored me, the same I will not pay attention to him, at the beginning of a day or two, maybe he surrendered, coaxed me to be happy, of course, I also forgave him.
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But since I had children, the cost outside was too large, and I had to go home to take care of the children, leaving my husband to work alone in the field, some people said that distance produces beauty, but the distance between me and him does not produce beauty, but there are many contradictions.
I went to my husband's old house, his parents were long gone, and I was alone with my children, when I was only 23 years old.
I have a big brother next door who is more than ten meters away from my house, also lives alone, I heard that he is 35 years old this year, divorced, the child seems to have followed the woman, and has not yet found an object, so it is also a person to live.
And my husband gets along with two places, there are more problems, most of them are for children, and the problem of money, I also know that my husband's salary is not high, almost 5,000 yuan per month to hand me 2,000 yuan.
The child wants to drink milk powder, buy clothes and diapers, etc...
Usually I also have to eat, everything has to spend money, my husband gave me that little money is not enough, but every time I want money she let me save money, think I use money and quarrel, quarrel more feelings also talked, always feel that I am very wronged.
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Once the child had a fever, I didn't know what to do, so I went to the next door to find a neighbor to help, that was the first time I met him, he actually knew me, usually saw but did not say hello, I said to him, he did not say two words, riding a battery car to take us to the hospital, when I went to pay the medical bills, embarrassed that there was no money on me.
He seemed to see my thoughts, said whether he forgot to bring money, and then paid me for medical expenses, and when I went back, I would return it to you, and I also thanked him, and he said with no concern, it was okay, he kept accompanying me to see the doctor and sending me home.
He knew that it was not easy for me to be a woman at home, saying that they were all neighbors, and it would be good to find her directly in the future.
He gave me a good impression, since that every time I quarreled with my husband, I would talk to him, and after each comfort, my mood was much better, and maybe someone comforted her heart to get balance.
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Neither my husband and I could convince anyone, so we simply didn't call, but I still hoped that he could call me, even if it was to say a few words of concern to me, I could forgive him, but neither my husband nor I was willing to make this call first.
Every day I took the phone in my hand, afraid that he would not receive the call, but day by day, every day I was disappointed, but I did not expect that he was desperate to not give me a penny for 2 months.
I was also reluctant to call him for money, so I felt like a beggar.
I also had to borrow money from my neighbors to barely live, and during that time I thought about it every day, thinking that my husband was not loving me, and did not care whether I and my children were alive or dead.
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On the neighbor's birthday, he made a good table and called me by the way. Seeing the wine on the table suddenly had the idea of wanting to drink, saying that wine is a good thing, but I have never drunk liquor, beer, red wine before. I called out to my neighbor for a big brother and motioned for him to bring me a drink as well.
The eldest brother said that this wine 52 degrees afraid you can't drink, you want to drink I buy you some other bars, I said no, just drink white. Seeing that he was still hesitating, I had grabbed the wine.
I poured myself a full bowl of wine, almost 4 or 4 wines, I drank it in a bowl, because I didn't prepare a wine glass for me at that time, and when I saw the bowl next to it, I casually poured a bowl.
After taking a sip, I felt a little spicy, the eldest brother said, saying that you can't drink you still don't believe it, I ignored him, continued to drink, repeatedly tried several times to finally drink a bowl of wine.
When I asked him for wine, he said that you would get drunk like this, although I didn't drink anymore, and I was drunk in that bowl, and I cried when I held my big brother, trying to cry out all my grievances.
When I woke up the next day, I knew something had happened that shouldn't have happened, but I vaguely remembered that I had initiated it.
I knew that I didn't like the neighbor Big Brother, but I still made a half-year lover with him, and during that time the big brother was very kind to me and often bought things for me and my children.
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I feel that my husband only knows how to go to work, never cares about me, quarrels, cold wars make us emotionally broken, but also I went to extremes.
When I need my husband's company, he's there, and when the kids are uncomfortable and I don't know what to do, where is he again.
The Cold War made me feel that he didn't love me, and even thought about divorce, so that my depressed mood could not be released.
Half a year later my husband picked me up, opened a shop, I can also help to do a little, at that time I knew, since I went home, he and friends to open a shop, at the beginning there was no business, no month and even lost money, because of the lack of funds, there is no money on the body, each time to give me 2000 pieces is also made up to give me.
He was also afraid that I was worried, so he didn't tell me anything, and now that the business is ok, he took me over.
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After that, although I never contacted the neighbor's big brother again, every time I went back to my hometown to see him, it made me feel sorry for my husband, maybe my husband told me that I would not do such a ridiculous thing.
Because of the lack of communication, misunderstanding of the husband, understand the importance of communication, although the husband and I have always been very good, but this incident let me never forget.