One of the myths of young men and women is what exactly does love mean? What's the difference between and liking? I remember when I was in college, I racked my brains to figure this out. So, what exactly is love? Evolutionary psychology holds that the essence of love is actually a commitment. That is, men promise women that they will be responsible for her (and her children) and are willing to take care of her for the rest of their lives. Conversely, women express the same responsible attitude to men through "love", so that men can accept him as their only partner with peace of mind. Both parties establish a unique partnership through the promise of "love".
The subtext behind "I love you"
The basis of this psychological evolution comes from the mate competition of primitive humans. Women need to pay a huge price in having children, while men relatively only complete mating to achieve the purpose of reproduction, the cost is relatively small, so in order to better raise offspring, women must carefully choose a partner in order to share the pressure of reproduction. And how do men prove that they meet the requirements? It is to promise the woman you like: I am willing to take responsibility for you, I will not sow the seed and run, I will raise children with you, take care of you and the children. Over time, men who expressed this commitment were given more opportunities to choose a mate, and they were able to reproduce, and their psychological characteristics gradually evolved into "love".
Therefore, the biggest difference between love and liking is that it is not only an emotional preference, but also a rational commitment. Saying "I love you" passionately may mean different things to both men and women. For the woman, it's probably the feeling of "he's going to take responsibility for me" or "I'm willing to monkey for him"; for the man, it may just be a "pure liking", like a passion rather than the result of thought. With the fading of passion, some men may lose the initial feeling of liking, or even "empathize with each other", and women may have long believed that the two are mutually responsible for the relationship, then the two sides will have conflicts and contradictions.
If you don't love it, what to do?
With the development of society and the improvement of women's economic status, it is not uncommon for women to "change their minds". This is also consistent with the principles of evolutionary psychology. Because in addition to whether men are willing to take responsibility, another important factor in women's strategy of choosing a mate depends on whether men have enough resources to provide material support for the birth of children. Status and wealth are the embodiment of this factor. In addition, the self-motivated and hard-working traits also reflect the potential resource ability, which can also affect women's mate selection. When both men and women live together, if the woman does not feel these qualities of men, or is "tempted" by others, love will also mutate.
True love needs to grow together
Of course, evolutionary psychology is only an explanation of phenomena, and man can have choices. For love, of course, we should have better expectations and more solid protection. However, true love should not stop at the initial passion, both men and women need to listen carefully to each other, understand each other, and constantly improve themselves, so that both parties can grow together in such a relationship.