The story of Romeo and Juliet is the love that generations of young people yearn for, their love is deep, their love is deep, in order not to be beaten by the stick, and even to give their lives for love.
Is their love really that indestructible? Or is there some other reason?
Robert E. Thompson, a world-renowned expert in persuasive and influential research. Ciodini gives you a new explanation in his book "Influence", which solves many phenomena that everyone does not understand in life through the explanation of the six principles. Let's take a look at these six principles.
They are reciprocity, commitment and consistency, social acceptance, preference, authority, and the principle of scarcity.
01. Principle of reciprocity
Why would Ethiopians donate $5,000 to Mexico in the earthquake when people are starving?
Because Mexico wanted the Italian invasion of Ethiopia to provide assistance.
As the saying goes: throw in the peach, repay it with a lee. Mexico's previous assistance to Ethiopia made the latter feel indebted, and the latter also knew that it was difficult for him to do so in time, and he also had to help Mexico.
It can be seen that the influence of the principle of reciprocity in life is ubiquitous: religious associations "first give grace and then beg"; politicians praise each other to solicit votes; shopping malls use free tastings to attract customers and increase consumption.
"Take people's hands softly, eat people's shortest" is not rough, it is the principle of reciprocity.
02. Commitment and consistency
On the racecourse, as long as a horse is bet, the bettor will think that the horse will definitely win, even though the horse is still the original horse.
Once a position is chosen, people convince themselves that their choice is correct, even if sometimes the choice is not correct.
In people's subconscious, words and deeds are consistent, and people who are consistent in appearance are going to issue good people cards.
There is a saying called: "The path you choose, kneel and go down." That's the way it is.
Among the principles of commitment and consistency, the most critical is commitment. The so-called commitment. It is to choose a position and make a point.
This is especially important in homeschooling, where "parents are the best teachers for their children"
Don't casually promise to your child, once you do it, you must ensure that you must do it, otherwise after a long time, you are a dishonest parent for your child, and your prestige in front of your child will be gone.
03. Social identity
People are accustomed to taking the behavior of most people as their own judgment standard.
There is an example in the book where a young girl is killed in the street, and there are more than thirty witnesses, but no one stops him, and no one calls the police.
When the police questioned the witnesses, everyone's answers were similar: "I thought someone else had called the police", "I saw that no one else was moving, I didn't move...".
Why would people do such a thing? Because everyone doesn't know what the hell is going on? Maybe it's just people playing games again?
Everyone is waiting for other people's reactions, and when no one else reacts, they will not act.
There is also a social identity that is the power of example. When everyone goes out to travel, children will consciously throw garbage into the trash can, why? Because no one littered! This is the role of role models in the principle of social identity.
04. Preference principle
Why would everyone easily agree to a beautiful woman's request? Why do we all feel good about people who have a little resemblance to ourselves, and we are willing to agree to their requests?
This is the principle of preference that the author calls it: people are willing to agree to requests from people they know and like.
And the reasons for liking are some because of appearance, some because of similarity, some are out of compliments, and some are because they want to achieve some kind of cooperation.
Joe, the world's greatest car salesman. Girard's ability to increase performance by mailing cards to 13,000 customers a month is a bit incredible, but it's really useful, and each card he sends out will have a different greeting, depending on the season and the festival.
But the only thing that was the same was that every greeting card would have his name on it, and in that way, he became the world's greatest car salesman.
Good use of the principle of preference, not only can increase performance, but also solve the case!
The example of the "good cop/bad cop" in the book is also a typical example of the current criminal investigation case.
During the interrogation of prisoners, the "bad cops" scolded, and after a while the "good cops" went to comfort the criminals to gain favor, and finally, the criminals would soon be unable to withstand the "sugar-coated bubble bombs" and honestly confessed.
05. Principle of authority
We will carry out the orders issued by our superiors without thinking; in the face of the people lying in the train tracks, the driver does not stop and carries out the order to continue; for the doctor's medical advice, the nurse will unconditionally carry out...
These are obedience to authority. Authority is that we believe in or even blindly carry out the orders or words of people who are in high positions or have a voice in a field.
We need to distinguish whether this authority is true or false. Now the development of medicine, these problems have been improved, although it is "the doctor's mouth, the nurse's leg", but the nurse will be in accordance with the "three checks and seven pairs" to verify when there is a doubt, and sometimes for the problem of the doctor's order, you can not implement.
Although authority is irresistible, sometimes you should polish your eyes and distinguish between true and false, which is the best maintenance of authority.
06. The principle of scarcity
Now talk about the love between Romeo and Juliet, is there really such a non-neon?
Robert. Dr. Ciodini believes that the reason why the two of them were martyred was because of the obstruction of their parents.
Because of the obstruction of the inside and outside, the more they want to be together, this is a kind of scarcity psychology.
Imagine if their stories hadn't been thwarted by their parents? Probably not.
The researchers also found that "while parental interference can cause certain problems in the relationship —such as one partner looking at the other more critically and reporting more negative behavior from the other—interference can also make couples feel more in love with each other and want to get married." ”
Ordinary things, mass things, we are accustomed to it, supermarket things are full of dazzling, everything we want, we can buy whenever we want.
When someone breaks this routine, come to a promotion: the purchase of things is limited; the original price is 200, the current price is 50, it is only sold for three days, and it is not waiting for expiration.
At this time, people will buy crazy, in fact, the thing is still the original thing!
The more you don't get something, the more precious it is, and the more you want it. Scarcity is a kind of psychology of people. The more restrictive something is, the more people want to have it.
summary:
In daily life, there are many behaviors that we are unconscious, some behaviors that are difficult for us to explain why this is so, and some knowing that they are traps and traps, we will jump into it without hesitation.
If you want to know why? Really recommend everyone to read Robert. Ciodini's "Influence" will subvert your cognition, answer your questions, let you live a life without deviation, and do not panic when things happen.