Are people who can withstand loneliness a lonely personality?

I have a classmate whose wife died of illness when she was 41 years old, and he has not talked about a relationship for 17 years.

In 17 years, he was a father and a mother, a son, and a grandfather. Now that the grandson is 9 years old, in July this year, he sent away the 95-year-old mother who had been waiting for more than 20 years.

He was an ordinary person who could not be in the ordinary, 58 years old 1.78 tall, waist straight, you can see the kind of momentum that seeps from the bones of a person who has been a soldier. He has a stubborn personality and integrity, every day in addition to going to work, buying groceries, returning home to serve his mother, tidying up, accompanying him is the collapsed bed. No matter what the weather, what holiday, as long as it is okay, it is a bed on your back. In a fashionable phrase, it is "old otaku".

At the 2016 class reunion, when eating together, a male classmate said: "Do you know, Gao * Since the death of his daughter-in-law for more than ten years, zero scandals, so many people introduced him to the object, and took the initiative to find him, the conditions are very good, he just does not agree." As soon as the news broke, there were surprised, praised, suspicious, and dismissive, and all kinds of eyes and expressions were written naked on the face. Some say "it's really not easy", some say "Is he sick", and even more say "He can't do it that way"... I saw his cheeks flushed, and he raised his glass and smiled at the male classmate and said, "Say something."

People have seven passions and six desires, let alone a normal man. I sometimes wonder, how did he come about in the past ten years? During the day, it is good to say, especially at night, there is no one around to talk, no warm-up, is he not lonely? Finally, when I was video chatting with him, I said the questions that were backlogged in my heart. I asked him, "Why not find someone after all these years?" He said, "Looking for something, who enters the door to follow you to serve the sick old man, who is willing to suffer from this, besides, how realistic are the people now, there are a few who can live with you for a lifetime, there is this example in front of the home, the two look good, just lived together, the days are still very good, the two you respect and I love for 7 or 8 years, one day this man is sick, go to the hospital to check what kind of cancer, the result of the third day, this woman took all the money in the bank card, people also left, until now have not come back, You say, this is still what we can see, how realistic." I said, "This is an individual case, they did not apply for a marriage license, if the marriage license is protected by law, this woman will not dare to do this", "You can pull down, just like that, waiting for you also have to abuse you, you also have to suffer, then die faster", "You will not meet that kind of woman, the Jiren has its own heavenly appearance, hehe", "You stop, I don't listen to you, people's hearts are unpredictable, I am like this in my life, I don't look for it.". I couldn't talk about it anymore, so I changed the subject: "Aren't you lonely?" "Lonely? Don't feel", "You don't read, every day is lying in bed watching TV, or watching mobile phones, no other hobbies, people who don't often communicate with people, generally have a more withdrawn personality, do you hide when you meet acquaintances, or colleagues do things you think are not right and lose their temper with people? "Why do you have so many things, who do I hide from, the Forestry Bureau is such a big place, look up and don't look down, still use to hide", "Look at it, this is what you think, you are really a bit lonely, huh", "Rolling edge pull, you are lonely Haha, our classmates have talked and laughed together, you see my personality is lonely? "Hey, I ask you, don't you want to be lonely for more than ten years?" He was stunned, and then he smiled shyly and said, "Think about what you can do, stand up", "Are you here for your daughter-in-law's self-purification?" "I don't know".

Looking at the man on the screen, I had an indescribable feeling in my heart. It is said that loneliness is unbearable, how many men or women can withstand this 17 years of loneliness, there are, but that is a very small number of people.

People who live in fantasy will not be lonely, but their hearts are becoming more and more empty, and people living in reality, if they want to endure loneliness, they must have a strong heart to bear.