Marriage: Respect each other's boundaries

Kazuo Inamori said: Why do people get married? This is the best answer I have ever heard.

When things happen, there can be a person to discuss, and when you are bored, you can have someone to talk to. After a tiring day, you can have a happy meal at the same table. Life is too long, there must always be someone who knows each other and accompanies each other.

In intimate relationships, the most common problem is "not knowing what is the right distance." Too close, will not breathe; too far away, and uncontrollable, insecure. In this regard, everyone feels differently from one another, even if the same person feels differently in different states.

The boundaries of getting along between people is the beginning of a comfortable relationship.

The reason why love and marriage are easy to fail is because both parties want this sense of union and sweetness to flow for a long time, and do not recognize the gap between each other and a river. Even if you are very close after marrying a person, there are some things you can only face on your own, and the other party can't help you, and they won't help you. This is the basic independence at the bottom of marriage. You cannot coexist in all things, be consistent, be one and the same. You are sometimes two completely independent individuals. So the part of the marriage that can't satisfy you is exactly where you need to be independent.

I remember a program interview, Zhou Xun and Chen Kun were asked about the biggest difference between friends and lovers, Zhou Xun said; the biggest difference is: there is no requirement for friends, and Chen Kun on the side also agrees. The sense of boundaries also exists between partners, and it will be comfortable not to let the other party feel troublesome and not to make demands on the other party. Probably that's really the case! A good marital relationship is not without temptation, but knowing how to score inches.

Often people say that I want to find a person who understands themselves, "understanding" this is actually a particularly advanced skill, the vast majority of people do not, the basic is less than one in ten thousand, even if there is a person with this ability, it takes a lot of time to really "understand" a person. In other words, it may be more reliable, find a person who is willing to spend time on you, this probability will be much greater, as for understanding, don't think about it. Then what should be done is to learn some expression, explain your needs, don't let others understand that you are so hard, this is the real point, and you also have a little obligation to understand each other.

The best way to have an intimate relationship is to be sincere, without any evaluation or even accusation, to tell your feelings, such as: Dear I have been too tired lately, feel a little depressed, maybe I will want to be alone, read a book or serious thinking. So if you are snubbed in the next few days, please don't take it to heart, it is not intentional and definitely not aimed at you. After I adjust it, I will double my compensation for you Oh, love you~

What is true respect between people?

Respect each other's boundaries and don't arbitrarily violate others and be violated.

Marriage is not a "legal demand", and you cannot rely on this so-called legal identity to expect to take the other party for yourself... We still have to respect each other as an independent individual who has his flaws, his desires, his uncertainties, just like ourselves. Especially when there is a problem in a relationship, we still have to respect him, understand him from the perspective of the other party, communicate equally, and give each other trust and respect, so that the relationship/marriage can be long-lasting.