Growing old is an irreversible trend in life, philosophical thinking about old age has a long history, the ancient Roman period was highly respected for the elderly, and China also has the famous sentence of "old man and old man". The German writer Hermann Hesse once said, "With maturity we will grow younger and younger", but we must also recognize that "old age, like youth, is a beautiful and sacred mission" and that "growing old in a dignified way, with an attitude and wisdom appropriate to our age, is a difficult art". Because the peace of old age does not come out of thin air. Nature will never give human life the wisdom to compensate for stiff joints and forgetful brains. This wisdom must be acquired by our own hard work.
In modern times, the doctrine of benefiting old age focuses on developing age-appropriate interests and relationships. These doctrines ponder the question: How can we take advantage of the remaining potential and opportunities, despite the hardships of later life? How to make people satisfied with life until they are old enough to enjoy the "happiness of old age"?
The following excerpts are compiled from "The Art of Elegant Aging: A Small Philosophy of the Good Life", which is authorized by the publishing house to be published, with a small amount of deletions compared to the original text, and the subtitle is added by the editor.
The Art of Growing Old gracefully: A Small Philosophy of the Good Life, by Autefried Heffer, translated by Jin Huiming, | Social Sciences Literature Press, February 2021
Four tips for the wise men of life
The art of old age, like art in general, has neither a philosophical nor a scientific recipe. Everyone's talents and interests are different, and everyone can find their own path, but can receive universal guidance.
The old saying "physical and mental health" reminds us of multiple dimensions, including four aspects. People have motor organs, and many workaholics ignore them as they age. Man also has the spirit of never rusting, man is a social creature, in terms of emotions, there is also a soul, and the soul likes to be happy and does not like to be troubled. If the soul is neglected, it validates Goethe's view of suffering: "The soul must see through the eyes (in this case, the body), and if the eyes are dull and unfocused, then the whole world will rain." ”
From children to teenagers, we develop many abilities throughout our lives through corresponding activities, and in these four aspects (supplemented with a healthy diet and adequate sleep), we need to rely on these abilities to live. In old age, especially in advanced age, the body loses its vitality, so the first and most important strategy of old age art is to pay attention to each of these four aspects, because these four aspects are not independent of each other, nor can they be replaced by each other, but affect and interact with each other. The primary strategy of old age art is not to value one of these aspects and then maximize them, but to consider all four aspects and try to find common ground, integrating optimization. This strategy ensures proper activation of physical and mental, as well as emotional and social capacities. The four L's —Lauf (sport), Lernen (learning), Liebe (love), Lache (laughs)—taken together, if started in time, can help form considerable physical and mental, social and emotional capital.
These four activities have their own meaning, and it is pleasant to carry them out appropriately and in different places. Philosophy is concerned with intrinsic values, which are of course accompanied by an external advantage, an additional function: the way these four L's fight against the decay of later life is to postpone it to a greater future. For centuries, writers and painters—such as Lucas Cranach—had been searching for a "fountain of youth," and since Bacon's scientific and technological utopia Neu-Atlantis (1627), science had begun to use medicine to help achieve this ideal. Without denying the value of drugs, experience shows what scientific research has confirmed: we find the strength to fight old age in ourselves and in ourselves to a large extent.
Let's look at the first L, which is motion, which refers to the activity of the motor system. Whether it's hiking, swimming or cycling, whether it's playing soccer or handball, tennis, golf, going to the gym, going skiing, practicing yoga, qigong, tai chi, or kung fu or other East Asian defenses – exercise strengthens muscles, activates tendons, fascia, and fights joint diseases. In addition, if we don't overtrain or take stimulants, exercise can also combat major health-threatening diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, obesity and kidney deficiency.
Exercise will also relieve worries and occupational stress, and it can also be linked to the fourth L (laughs). If done in moderation, exercise allows us to relax, enjoy and even enjoy, despite the inevitable exertion, but in the end feel great happiness. Another use is that makeup and therapy cannot be replaced: exercise can be truly anti-aging. Of course, this does not mean that we do not age, but greatly prolong life with a high quality of life.
The second L – learning – is no different, and education is one of the most effective ways to avoid unnecessary rapid aging. People who own books and read more than 30 minutes a day have a life expectancy that can be extended by about two years. Education increases the "association" in the brain and is more able to combat dementia. Those who can think economically but sustainably will recognize that the time we invest in reading will eventually be rewarded in an extended life.
As we all know, learning begins with education and training, followed by further study and further study. Learning can extend to reading unrelated to the major, prominently in the study of musical instruments or foreign languages, but also in cultural tourism, in folk university courses, and in universities for the elderly. In a sketch of Matusara, the painter Goya accompanies the sentence: "I am still learning (aún aprendo). "Learning also has an added use, that is, it can fight stress and troubles, so there is no need to indulge in the fantasy of geriatric redemption, and learning also has an anti-aging effect. In addition, you can escape boredom and loneliness.
Experience tells us that the older we get, the more dependent the body is on the mind and spirit, and the spirit is also manifested in the self-evaluation ability of the wisdom of life. People who admire the cream called "Happy Aging" can't deny the appearance of wrinkles, but in their efforts to slow down the aging process, they add a self-deprecating psychological hint. This allows age to be measured not by the number of wrinkles, but by the remaining vitality of life. But we can't be too self-deprecating, or we risk being ridiculed: "We love you, we like you / But don't be too presumptuous." ”
The third L – love – speaks of a variety of social relationships, extending from partnership to relatives, friends, and participation in sports associations, bands, choirs, and hiking organizations with others. We cultivate the most important "virtue" in all these forms – friendship, to fight aging within the right limits. The feeling of recognition and being loved is more effective than many medications.
Life wise men advise you not to feel that the end of your working life is too abrupt. It is necessary to cultivate high-grade hobbies in time so that the seven days are not all weekends. Equally important is the rich and varied volunteerism and civil society work that provides everyone with appropriate opportunities for development, as well as opportunities for recognition and self-esteem-building.
The fourth L– laughter – prevents us from being stubborn, self-righteous and bitter, and keeps us happy. Laughter represents the emotional aspect of people, represents relaxation, love of life, and the joy of life. Harnessing emotions instead of grumbling and indulging bad tempers so that we can say, "That's great, when we reach the end of our lives!" "Here, in a life full of emotions, fortunately, laughter also has an additional function, that is, it has a part of the anti-aging effect. Compare an angry face to a relaxed face: a smile is the best cosmetic, or to use a poem that says, "Laughter is the music of the soul."
We must start implementing these four L's as early as possible. Of course, whether we are precocious or unworldly, we should think of old age when we are young, but this is not the main reason. The real reason is that we have to start accumulating capital, we have to start accumulating physical and mental resources and good memories, and getting older increasingly requires us to have the ability to overcome painful experiences, and we also have to start cultivating these abilities before we can win gains. Of course, vice versa. People who consume too much health when they are young will later pay the price for this lifestyle.
Stills from "Grandson from America" (2012).
Principle of gerontology: Grow old with dignity
According to the nature of obligations, the suggestions related to the four L's are entirely directed at one's own obligations, not at others, and therefore belong to the category of personal ethics and do not belong to today's well-known social ethics. To be precise, this is not a true moral obligation, not an absolutely valid, unambiguous command, but merely a practical requirement to work for one's own well-being.
Along with the advice of the wise art of living comes true moral obligation, which belongs to the category of social ethics. The main ethical of obligations is traditionally divided into two parts, one part is the obligation to oneself, in order to improve oneself, and the other part is the obligation to those around oneself. Moreover, this perfect, without exception, mutually duty is distinguished from a more or less imperfect moral obligation to pursue rewards. The following reflections focus only on obligations that are directed at others and are mutually owed within this context, that is, obligations within the political community for the elderly, and in general, are also called fairness and justice.
The first principle of gerontology, and at the same time the most basic ethics of obligation, is to respect the elderly. In order not to be reduced to a gift, we should conduct a "revaluation of values" that recognizes the fair and just rights of the elderly. It then proves that the obligation to respect the elderly is reciprocal, that is, an exchange: not a unilateral gift, but an expectation of return, in which neither giving nor giving should be expressed in a material form. This process of exchange is by no means carried out within the economic context.
At the heart of evolutionary biology's research on aging can be summed up in the question of why members of certain species live so long after giving birth and giving birth. The life expectancy of women after reproduction is very high. The most convincing answer to date is that it helps ensure the survival of their offspring, which is still clearly visible in today's grandparents: grandparents guard their grandchildren, occasionally helping with housework, tending the garden, and occasionally giving the family a little subsidy. And they often undertake some social activities outside their own families.
In addition, there is indirect help: parents provide relationships to help their children get promoted or find a house. They also impart their experience to future generations, even if only without words, as in this sentence: "A man without makeup." They experienced all the joys, hardships and disappointments of life. They outperform us in this regard. "Looking at the old man's face full of experience and kindness, tolerance, and perhaps humor, will help us learn to grow old in time."
Survey research shows that in the West, the first principles of geriatrics are in crisis: we have no scruples about old people, are unwilling to help, and have a tendency to deprive them of their ability to act. We can have a fair discussion of this, and further, the theory of interchange: it is well known that people come into this world and all the way to becoming independent, self-responsible adults, are extremely in need of help, and need many aspects of care and support. In old age, especially in old age, we also need help, but in a different way.
On the one hand, children can grow, and on the other hand, elderly people in need of help can grow up with dignity, and both sides hope that their weaknesses will not be exploited. Therefore, for the middle generation, it is better for the elderly not to abuse their strength advantages and not to be indifferent to those who need help. Because once they grow old, they naturally do not want to lose their strength, and they do not want the middle generation to ignore them. Therefore, from a cross-generational point of view, when communicating among people of different generations, it is important to be fair and just, not to be sympathetic. Another form of the basic principle of old age is derived from this, the second principle of gerontology: children do not want to see their physical and mental and spiritual weaknesses abused, and we as adults cannot abuse the physical, emotional and cognitive weaknesses of the elderly.
Because of the delay in time in the corresponding exchange, there is a danger similar to that of a ticketless ride: the grown-up child is already enjoying the benefits of the delayed exchange, but refuses to take on the obligations required by the intergenerational exchange and refuses to help the elderly who need care. The third principle of gerontology allows us to escape this danger and establish the common advantage of intergenerational exchange on the long-term basis of generations. For example, in education we cultivate "gratitude that arises from fairness and justice": because we receive all kinds of help from older people, that is, from our parents, in childhood and adolescence, we are grateful to them and voluntarily respect them. Or we no longer believe in voluntariness, but instead take responsibility for the elderly through executive agencies, specifically social welfare states through relevant social insurance, or through social welfare institutions such as home care and nursing homes. But it is certainly regrettable that personal gratitude is lost as a result.
The delay in time of the exchange has two levels. In negative exchange, we renounce mutual freedom in exchange for not using violence against each other; in positive exchange, we exchange obligations. The second type of exchange is beneficial to both parties, it is in the self-interest of all, and it is at the same time just. Reconstruction of this rationality is based on the anthropological fact that human beings are incapacitated and very helpless, and feel helpless again after a long time of relative independence. Therefore, human beings need help in the two stages of life, namely the beginning and the end of life. According to the model of mutually beneficial legitimacy, we can derive another obligation of fairness as another form of the second principle, the fourth principle of gerontology: the help received at the beginning of life is reciprocated by helping the elderly.
One aspect of demographic change, the absence of young people, has created a problem: there are fewer and fewer young people who will have to pay not only pensions but also care for the elderly in the future, so it is better to stimulate volunteer work to provide assistance. For example, people who can provide care services today, including those who serve their own grandchildren, can request care services in the future. Instead, those who cannot provide it have to pay financial compensation.
Stills from the movie The Two of Us (2005).
The Golden Rule of The Ethics of Old Age
Another problem is that older persons are disenfranchised and the exchange theory does not seem to justify it. Because this is not a question of "whether" aid, but "how", this aid cannot be downgraded to an economic transaction, i.e., a mere exchange. There is no doubt that moral gestures are needed in dealing with older people: understanding, care and patience. While the service sector also demands this attitude, it is considered redundant in the usual transactions. How intergenerational exchanges take place is based on a different point of view.
For children, the "fact" of help only needs to be legitimized by the theory of exchange, while the "how" of helping must be based on the needs of those who seek help, that is, to be guided by the needs of the elderly. We can draw analogies from the long-established theory of child-centered education to derive another principle – the fifth principle of gerontology, the requirement of "elderly-centered" gerontology. As the golden rule of the social ethics of old age says: "When you are a child, you do not want others to treat you, you should not treat the elderly like this!" ”
Just as children and adolescents need caring, spiritual stimulation and social interaction, older people need more than food, clothing, beds and medical help. Children want to exercise many rights as early as possible, and older people want to retain their rights longer and more widely, both inwardly and spatially. By equipping young people with playgrounds, schools and sports equipment, we should also create appropriate spaces for the age of older people, such as community facilities and "self-help meeting points", or even universities for the elderly. Finally, nursing homes should not be built as "kindergartens for the elderly" and do nothing but stereotypical greetings to those who have lost their rights: "Hey, how are you feeling today, Grandma?" ”
Even children and teenagers, we treat them as equally as possible, at least without so much authority, and the elderly should be treated that way. We need a kind of "gerontology that is free from authority," as evidenced by the golden rule of the ethics of old age: "How you want to be treated in old age, how you treat old people now!" ”
The fairy tale "Grandpa and Grandson" provides a typical example: the son and daughter-in-law first drove the trembling old man off the dinner table together, then gave him a wooden bowl, and finally had to pick him up, because the four-year-old grandson made a small wooden bowl and said, "When I grow up, my parents will eat with this bowl." The grandson told his parents that they would also grow old, and even the dragon bell would be trembling, and in this case, they did not want to be ruthlessly expelled like grandpa.
This requirement is related to another requirement, namely, the sixth principle of gerontology: that the society and the city of the future must be built "as far as possible according to the age of man", and that society and the city must meet not only the needs of children, but also the interests of other generations.
There is also a principle that is connected to the previous ones. There is no doubt that the elderly have an ancient right to pass on something to future generations. We are not talking about material wealth in the context of economic scarcity, but of "human wealth": there is life experience, there is wisdom in life, and there is the ability to tell (e.g., as a witness to the times) – an ability that gives the contemporary a historical depth.
But we can also tell our peers, tell each other the story of life, and thus build new relationships. Of course, when people reach old age, those things that have existed for a long time rarely change, and many people prefer to tell rather than listen. Those who are willing to listen will always face the following problems, as the British writer Jonathan Swift wrote in his article for the elderly, and as my 100-year-old aunt Elzer said to her stepbrother, who is in her 20s, "Don't say anything, Anne, you always tell the same thing." "If a person has nothing new to say, why not listen to what others say?" To do this, one must retain an ability that does not usually decline in old age: "curiositas" or, more importantly, curiosity.
Stills from the movie "We See You in Heaven" (2009).
Getting older requires learning
In addition to obligations to others, moral philosophy also has obligations to oneself, including the obligation to perfect oneself (as discussed by Kant in verses IV and V of the Introduction to Virtue). Learning to age with dignity is undoubtedly one of them, and here is not merely the advice of the wisdom of life, but a true moral principle, an absolute command in Kant's concept. Everyone has their own characteristics and the required learning process varies greatly. But experience shows that the process has about three stages (Auer 41996), which we can conceive of as three dialectical steps.
The first stage, to a certain extent, can also be said to be "self-defeating and self-abandoned to grow old", let us feel the disappearance of our own strength and social relations, especially the weakening. In our discussion of the nature of decay, we quote a character from Christos Tsiolka's novel Nur eine Ohrfeige (2012, 370): "Life passes too quickly, and cursed death lasts too long." "People who are good at satire even think that young people are squandering their youth.
In the first stage, when people reach old age, it is as if they have an infectious disease, and we did not realize it at first, so there was no protection and no necessary drugs were taken. In comparison with real infectious diseases, we certainly cannot ignore their essential differences: we can recover from infection, but we can never recover from old age, so that, in the language of psychology, the sense of self-worth inevitably weakens.
Aging is inevitable, but awareness of it doesn't always have to be painful. Because in the second stage, as the antithesis of the former, we can translate the doctrine of internal debilitation into a doctrine beneficial to old age, and this is not nonsense. Age-appropriate interests and relationships are not conferred by external authorities, but must be in accordance with one's own desires and possibilities, and those who can work for such interests and relationships can successfully achieve "wise and satisfactory old ageing." This principle of aging appears in the paradigm outlined by the art of old age: freed from the shackles of competition and occupation, then success does not matter how much. When we realize that we don't have to prove ourselves to anyone, we feel young, which even makes many young people full of envy and jealousy. Experience shows that looking back on our lives, few people regret career success. What's even more regrettable is often not spending more time on family and close friends. Because honesty, self-esteem, kindness, and humor are more important at this time.
Finally, we reach the third stage, a synthese proposition that "groundbreakingly grows old," which is probably some sort of perfect ending. We give the new phase of life its own qualities, even to see a certain harvest, and to accept the inevitable: the remaining days are numbered, and we have to go through without complaint.
More recently, the media have also served this pioneering approach to aging, such as the publication of a magazine titled Für Frauen ab 60 (for women over 60), with the headline on the cover: "Getting older means some degree of liberation." "Even without suggesting death, it's hard to deny the shadow cast by death, that death equalizes everything – that death makes everything equal."
Wealthy, reputable, or powerful people may dispute that they are willing to create more social care. But a perhaps more important factor, emotional attention, requires neither fame, power, nor money. On the contrary, for the great people of this world, the gap between the glory of the past and the troughs of old age is enormous, and may be much greater than that of ordinary people. Ziorca added that in old age we can "get some kind of peace" because all people become small and equally small in old age— "only in old age" can we stay "in a world without hierarchy, without snobbery, without revenge, not at work, not in faith, not in politics."
The shackles of competition and profession, and the piles of obligations and unfulfilled challenges in competition and profession, are no longer participants in power, money and fame, but spectators, and the success of the past is indifferent to us. Conventional standards, social status, relationships, and money, and even knowledge and abilities are meaningless. Instead, so-called human virtues took to the stage.
And the extent to which this can be done is another question. Regarding the portrait of the old woman of Balsazar Danner, the writer Charles Smith wrote: "I watched her wearing a striped leather coat, noble silk, in which I saw that as soon as she was abandoned by the flesh, many noble ladies began to have an almost stubborn attachment to luxury. (Smith 2017) We can read another answer in Silvio Blatter's novel Zwölf Sekunden Stille (2004, 13). There is an 82-year-old veteran publisher whose boss is about to resign on his 58th birthday, and the old publisher says to the boss, "I understand the fear of aging." I'm almost 60 years old, and this fear is tormenting me... Now, now I don't care; now I know, I'm an old man. But, Blatter went on to write, he "enjoyed saying this."
Admittedly, we cannot guarantee eternal age with dignity and joy, and we can revisit the words of Pablo Casals, who was once quoted: "Old age is fundamentally relative." If we continue to work and always find it easy to spot the good around us, we will find that old age does not necessarily mean aging. "People who are endowed with a true art of living will see life as a work of art, and in old age they will show the accumulation of years, with characteristics that are very different from the products produced by industry in mass production. In this way we will not age, but in a more elegant way, we will be highly respected.
The original author | [de] Otfried Heffer
Edit | Shen Chan
Introduction Proofreading | Wang Xin