The theme of the 162nd lecture of the Emergency Department of Parents Urgent Online Learning is "Famous Artists Talk about Family Education", and the famous thinker is invited to expound his family education ideas in the New Year.
Yu Xinchun then said: There are many parents who advertise themselves as enlightened parents and friends with their children. Many parents dwarf their roles to equal partnerships with their children. 100% of the child's things let the child decide. In the end, most parents found that the ending was a lose-lose situation, parents were not good parents, and children were not good children.
Parents and children to make friends, is to hope to be with the child heart, intimate, heart to heart, not parents and children on an equal footing, not parents to please the child. Although there are many theories of family education, its core is companionship. Companionship is the first duty of parents, and parental companionship is indispensable, irreplaceable and irreparable. But companionship is not exactly equal to accompaniment, parents and children in the as far as possible to reduce the physical distance at the same time, reduce the physical and mental distance is just needed.
Chinese-style family education has changed at present, the dominance of family education has been transferred from the traditional parent-led way to the child himself to decide, the child can not effectively exercise this right in the case of judgment has not been enhanced, resulting in the current family education gap and parents do not care about the child, the child can not manage their own situation, this disorder in the family divergent trend is further strengthening, seriously restricting the cohesion of the Chinese family and the child's centripetal force on the parents. At present, the Chinese family education method has undergone a revolution, the traditional sense of patriarchal matriarchy is self-restrained, parents are becoming more and more democratic and self-inhibiting management rights, at the same time, children are rapidly increasing their awareness of human rights under the infestation of multiple information, including antipathy to the traditional family atmosphere, subconscious opposition to parents' views, sensitive reactions to the interference of elders in the independent decision-making ability of self-affairs, and repeated going out to see the world and returning to the family.
From the perspective of the general environment, Chinese-style family education urgently needs to be de-hegemonic, parents cannot dominate power, children cannot seize power, and we must be vigilant against shifting from parental hegemony to children's hegemony. The current world does not establish an external positive environment for children to grow up calmly. For example, the end of the international figure, the collision of force factors and various consciousnesses dismember the world view in the eyes of children, and various renderings of social public opinion also distort the establishment of children's credibility in external affairs. Today's children cannot say that they doubt everything, but at least they will subconsciously form disbelief, and it is more difficult to trust society and trust others.
From the perspective of the small environment, parents have appeared in the process of their children's education and growth, parenting and teaching, there is a phenomenon of one hand being hard and one hand being soft. The proportion of raising is significant, and the proportion of education is low; the proportion of teaching is significant, and the proportion of guidance is low. Parents are led by the child's nose, what do you want to eat, do not know, this is the need for parental guidance, food is nothing more than those few, if you seek the child's appetite, in fact, the child has no appetite. Now the child who still wants to eat, you have to ask him, he wants to eat ice cream all day long, why do you, so, must guide, do not guide, the child to the parents said anything, slowly answered that it is OK, it does not matter, then there is no judgment. Another example is interest, some parents say, my child does not like, the child is not interested. We may not know that most interests are not innate, they need to be cultivated, and if they are left unchecked, they are actually giving up on letting children grow up normally.
The era of parental monopoly in homeschooling is certainly over, but blindly handing over power to children is not the best option. The most unbearable delay in family education is the child's time, and the most unacceptable failure of parents is to educate the child to grow. Parents and children need to negotiate, the better way is that the child has the right to propose, the right to defend, and the parents have the right to suggest and veto. In matters related to the child's own development, the child can put forward their own ideas, parents can and must make suggestions for this, if the parent feels that the child's proposal is inappropriate, there is a veto, the child can then raise and defend, so that it enters the negotiation process, after the way of consultation, family education will not pay for the previous blind decision-making in the future.
Family education is the first step in the healthy growth of children, parents are children's enlightenment teachers, and the impact of family education on children is irreplaceable. Parents should be their children's reasonable friends, measured friends, and form and implement a correct concept of family education, so that they can cultivate their children to become responsible, perfect personalities, and useful talents to society, and can help children achieve a perfect life.
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