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Prologue: Being able to provide value to others itself has already embodied the value, and the rest only needs to be left to time.
The famous writer Liu Qing said: Although the road of life is long, there are often only a few steps at the critical point, especially when people are young."
Disassembling it, this sentence has two meanings: First, although life is long, there are not many critical points! Second, the critical points are very important to life and cannot be lost, so we must attach great importance to it, especially young people, and do not waste their youth and waste their lives because they choose the wrong road.
However, then again, life is long, in fact, it is also short, according to the centenary, the full count is only 36500 days! Therefore, we must cherish it more and strive to live out greater value and significance.
Limited by individual cognition and conditions, although the process of growth is inevitable to fail and setback, but whenever possible, it is still necessary to pay attention to the quality and efficiency of life, as little detour as possible, in order to reduce unnecessary life consumption and ineffective efforts.
However, at the critical point of life ~ when we need support and help the most, the relevant content is not taught in the school, systematic and targeted guidance is too little, and there is a lack of corresponding professional institutions to provide targeted services.
Most of the time, what we get is either the sporadic advice of the people around us, or the utilitarian guidance, and at the same time, due to the limitations of cognitive level, it is usually personal experience and general understanding, lack of scientific verification and professional theoretical basis, and many or even wrong guidance.
Although these situations have changed now, they are still far from the same! A strong proof is that due to the excessive marketization of education, many universities for commercial purposes, the education management of students is like sheep herding ~ family, school hard to raise for more than ten years, it is not easy to become an adult, the result of four years of college, but it has become a disappointing "sad person".
Therefore, many times, especially before the age of 30, because the self-mind and cognition are not mature enough, most people's life decisions and choices, seemingly voluntary behavior, in fact, in most cases, are not the real self-active choice,
Basically, it is either the embodiment of the hope and will of the parents and families, or the product of environmental constraints and conditional constraints, or the result of assumption or herd effect, mostly out of reality and utilitarianism.
Not only lack of rationality, but also lack of comprehensive consideration of individual traits, potentials, strengths and interests, it is difficult to reflect the individual's self-will and inner needs.
Therefore, it has led to the emergence of many human tragedies and later new choices. This is particularly evident in terms of career choices, marriage and family.
At the critical point of life, what is most needed is the correct guidance and guidance of the target, and whether there is rational guidance and guidance often brings different destinies and lives.
The ancients summed up the three great blessings of life: the guidance of famous teachers, the help of nobles, and the companionship of confidants.
In just three short points, the words are concise and concise, but they contain profound growth and life philosophy.
Many people who have come over, looking back on their own growth and life experience, it seems that the vast majority of them are difficult to have this luck, and it is already very fortunate to have a little.
Unfortunately, we are either learning from the same thing, or we are wrapped up in the trend of the times and the surrounding environment, and when we find that there is a problem, we have missed the best time! This is also one of the important reasons why too many people have regrets in life.
After analyzing the key and problem of "critical places" and the root causes of misfortune, then, the question comes ~ What does Mr. Liu mean when he says that life is "critical"? And what are the characteristics and characteristics?
The author does not measure up to his own strength, and dares to do a personal understanding and combing, for reference and control only.
First of all, the critical point of life must be a critical period, key stage or key node related to individual growth, road choice, career life, and life destiny, and there is no room for mistakes.
So, what periods, stages and nodes of life fit the above definition?
It turns out that these are precisely the periods and stages when problems and "crises" are most prone.
Leaving aside the contingency and uncertainty, in general, each of us will experience nine different critical stages of crisis in our lives.
During this period, everyone will suffer from different degrees of confusion, choice tests and psychological torture, resulting in: or ignorance, or confusion, or pain, or entanglement, or despair, or loss, or abandonment, or epiphany, or introspection, or transformation, or rebirth...
In most cases, this dilemma is beyond our life experience and individual cognition, at least for a while it is difficult to cope, choose or jump out.
These nine periods and stages, in order, are as follows:
First, 14 to 18 years old, during the crisis of adolescence, there will be two tests, one is the physiological impact of significant changes in the body, and the other is the first choice related to future life ~ liberal arts and sciences, college entrance examination and professional choice. In addition, some cannot withstand the temptation of the Garden of Eden and will have early love.
Second, 18 to 22 years old, the adult crisis ~ mainly faces three aspects of the test, one is the first time to leave the parents to live independently; the second is to mainly rely on self-discipline and self-care, arrange self-growth and learning; the third is the increase in self-independence awareness, but the economy and behavior are still dependent on or limited to parents.
Third, 22 to 26 years old, the social transition period crisis ~ the first independent to go to society, not only to make new choices for future life ~ career and work, but also to adapt to unfamiliar interpersonal relationships and units, but also to bear the pressure of complex social environment and future uncertainty.
Fourth, 26 to 30 years old, family formation period ~ thirty and standing, whether it is the individual's own heart, or parents, family and society, are "required" to enter love, marriage, form a family, in order to assume more responsibilities and obligations, from then on, completely bid farewell to a person's era of freedom, need to face multiple relationships and responsibilities to deal with, as well as role conversion and adjustment.
Fifth, 30 years old to 36 years old, career and career expansion and rise period ~ self-growth, career development, the birth of a new life, family affection, social relations maintenance, all need to make distribution and balance, but limited by time and energy, how to deal with, balance and maintenance?
Six, 36 years old ~ 48 years old, mid-life crisis period ~ with the increase of social experience, the improvement of self-awareness, the increase of income, the stability of the career, coupled with the pressure of society, family and work, the busyness, monotony and repetition of life, and even some life setbacks, frustration and blows, will produce different degrees of tediousness about life, a sense of burnout of the profession, and even a sense of doubt about the initial life choices, various factors and confusion intertwined, some people begin to be confused and confused, some people begin to think about the value of life and the meaning of life, Some people cheat, divorce or even indulge, and some people make new choices and rebirth.
Seven, 48 ~ 60 years old, life watershed ~ in the middle, will cross the mandate of heaven and retirement two key nodes of life: the mandate of heaven is the watershed of life, will make people involuntarily think about the second half of life, facing the choice of up and down; retirement, means that will officially withdraw from mainstream social life, facing the choice and loss of where to go after retirement. Many people are not handled well, either compensatory indulgence, late festival is not guaranteed, or feel irritable and lost, how to adjust and transition? How do you make new plans and choices?
Eight, 60 ~ 72 years old, life enjoyment period ~ during this period, whether you can really serve the old in your heart, whether you can completely put down, whether you can arrange your life in your later years, whether you can find new pursuits, fun and sustenance, not to be withered and depressed, has become very critical.
Nine, 72 ~ 80 years old, life accelerated decline period ~ this stage, will obviously feel the decline of spirit and body, the size of the problem also began to appear, how to self-adjustment and spend? At the same time, there is not much time left in life, how to face death? How do I arrange posthumous instructions? Choices need to be made and clarity is required.
As for the post-eighty, it is not easy to describe and define it uniformly. Some people may be old and strong, and some people may be born at the age of 100, depending on their own blessings and creations.
With the support of the level of scientific and technological medical treatment, the empowerment of spiritual pursuits and the help of sports health, many people are still in good health and spirits, and continue to immerse themselves in their beloved careers and pursuits, enjoying it tirelessly, admiring and admiring, such as Yuan Longping and Mr. Zhong Nanshan.
It is said that cats have nine lives, eight difficulties do not die, Tang monks and disciples of the Western Heavens to learn the scriptures, but also through nine nine eighty-one difficulties, but as an ordinary person is actually not easy, not counting life, old age, illness and death, large and small also have to go through nine different stages and nodes of testing and torture, and each time is not simple and easy!
In this sense, life is indeed a practice of suffering more than happiness, although due to different cognitions and choices, their respective experiences and feelings are different, but still let us linger on this difficult world and life.
The birth of life is a miracle ~ a probability of one in a hundred billion, and everyone's life is also a legend of different sizes ~ unique and cannot be copied.
At the same time, each life is a unique individual with unlimited choices and possibilities.
However, due to our limited time and energy, we are destined to focus on very few things that can best reflect self-worth and meaning, and are willing to invest in them, coupled with the irreversibility and one-off of life, so that we have to cherish life more, so that we want to explore the commonality and law of self-growth and life abundance.
It can be said that no matter what the environment, what family, what class, no one wants to come to the world in vain, and no one is willing to spend a life in mediocrity ~ except for those who are detached, indifferent or desperate and abandoned.
At this time, the laws and commonalities, directions and paths, methods and patterns, methods and strategies, naturally become important and critical.
So, is there a law and commonality of the universal guiding meaning of life?
It turns out that cognition has a basis (the nature and underlying logic of things), thinking has logic (models and tools that have been verified by practice), growth has laws (laws and laws of cognition and behavior that have been verified by practice and science), and life has patterns (ways and means that have been proven by countless successful people).
Although everyone wants to dominate their own destiny and does not want to be passively "arranged", this does not conflict with the above, because the law cannot be violated, and others are crutches and tools that are conducive to individual growth and life enrichment, which can help us better dominate our own destiny. The successful find the method, the wise find the tool, the ignorant and the clumsy rely on the stupid method and the hard work.
The essential difference between the two is only knowing and not knowing, believing and not believing, choosing or not choosing, willing or unwilling.
Li Shimin, a generation of Ming Emperors, said: With copper as a mirror, a husband can wear a crown, take history as a mirror, can know the rise and fall, take people as a mirror, and can know gains and losses. And in this way, the brilliant Tang Dynasty was created.
Understanding the success and failure of others is not to copy the model of others, but to take their own path, so as to enrich the connotation and value of their own life, thick and only once life.
More importantly, with the in-depth exploration and development of modern cognitive science, brain neuroscience, life sciences, psychology, behavior, sociology and other disciplines, a number of scientific research achievements related to human beings themselves have been born, coupled with the summary of laws and wisdom precipitation by predecessors, which are the scientific guidance and basis for guiding us to recognize life, cognitive self, cognitive world, cognitive society, cognitive life, fully tap individual potential, and exert self-ability, and it is also a powerful tool for us to effectively borrow and empower.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting to fully explore yourself, or continuing to step on other people's pits, that is everyone's freedom and right.
What is the meaning of being alive? What is the value of life? What is most important to us? What do we really want in our hearts? What is right for you and what you're willing to throw yourself into? How do you make choices and decisions?
These are the core questions that each of us must face and answer. Of course, different cognitions, different choices, individual fate and the results and meanings of life are also very different!
It is said that life is one life, and the grass and trees are autumn. But the mountains have their own trends, the rivers have their own flow directions, and the small grasses and wildflowers also have their own touch of new green and fragrance, and as a person of advanced life, it is even more unlikely to be a skin bag that is born and waits for death and lets it die.
The essence and logic behind all life are a natural process of continuous upward growth, through spring ploughing and summer cultivation, spring and autumn fruit, and the continuation and excellent inheritance of life.
No matter what, as long as you conform to the times and social trends, have done your best, worked hard, and have no regrets, at least worthy of your life; if you can go up to another level, it is even more worthwhile!
Life is never a person's lonely forward, we have the nourishment of family affection, the guidance of teachers, the suggestions of wise people, the help of nobles, the companionship of friends, coupled with the opportunities of the times and the correct choice of individuals, value growth and continuous efforts, we must have a rich and thick life.
It can be seen that although life is tired and interesting, depending on how you look at it and taste it; life is difficult and not easy, in the final analysis, it is still necessary to rely on your own growth and efforts!
May everyone be able to successfully pass through every stage of life, live happily, value forward, and do and cherish!
Conclusion: As a caring master brother and a veteran driver in the workplace, I would like to sincerely share with you the relevant topics about how to read, think, learn, grow and start a business, marketing, management, and jointly shape a better self, welcome to pay attention to exchanges.