We are born with seven passions and six desires, we have affection for our families, friendship with friends, and love for our partners, which is normal and ethical, but if the feelings are poured into the wrong object, contrary to ethics and morality, it is often not accepted by the world.
Ms. Wang knocked on the door of the family parenting expert's office with a sad face, and confided in the experts about the family problems she faced, hoping to get the guidance and help of the experts.
In fact, Ms. Wang's family is still very happy, she and her husband from the countryside to the city to work when they were young, relying on the efforts of two people to buy a house in the city to take root, and gave birth to a pair of lovely children, because of limited ability, Ms. Wang's family housing area is relatively small, from a young age is to let two children sleep in the same bed in a bedroom, careless Ms. Wang did not realize that as the two children gradually grew up, living in the same bed is no longer appropriate.
Now that her 15-year-old daughter has left, she has a good relationship with her brother who is a year older than herself, but this "good" has become a distress for Ms. Wang.
"I just want to marry my brother"
After the daughter inadvertently said this sentence in front of her parents countless times, Ms. Wang began to find that there was something wrong between the brother and sister, the relationship between the daughter and the son was so good that it was a little ambiguous, the two people who were in adolescence often snuggled together and whispered, and the daughter's eyes looking at her brother were also full of girlish feelings, and this "taste change" brother and sister feelings really made it difficult for Ms. Wang and her husband to accept.
Experts after listening to Ms. Wang's story also feel that the feelings of the brothers and sisters have gone to the "deviation" of the road, the brothers and sisters long-term sleep in a room itself is a wrong way of life, and Ms. Wang did not realize the importance of letting the children live in separate rooms in the early years, resulting in the brothers and sisters in the emotional age of the wrong emotional cognition, if not intervened now, it is easy to lead to the whole family can not bear the results.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > so, what kind of impact will this have on children in the long run? </h1>
First of all, if brothers and sisters and brothers live together without "gender boundaries" for a long time, it is easy to cause the two to have feelings that cross the scope of ethics and morality, and this feeling that is not accepted by the world will bring harm to both parties and the family.
Secondly, the "gender-free" brother and sister lifestyle will make children form a deformed view of love, even if they choose friends to carry out romantic relationships because of worldly visions in adulthood, it is very easy to affect each other's love life because of excessive attachment to the relationship.
Nowadays, many families hope to "have both children and daughters", and with the opening of the "two children" policy, they have fulfilled this wish, but when there are both male and female treasures in the family, as parents, how should we correctly guide the children of the opposite sex to get along and live?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > how to properly guide children of the opposite sex? </h1>
1. Age-appropriate rooms
Like the problem of Ms. Wang's family is because the child did not timely divide the bed and room for the two children when he was a child, if there is a male treasure and a female treasure in the family, the child should be allowed to live in a separate bed and room around the age of 3, and the family that allows the conditions should set up a separate living environment for the two children, and if the living environment at home is limited, the method of getting on and off the bed can be temporarily used to isolate the child's sleeping space.
2. Cultivate gender concepts from an early age
There are male and female treasures in the family, we must cultivate children's gender concepts from an early age, through the method of parent-child reading picture books or small games, let children understand their gender characteristics, understand that they and each other are different, and on the basis of the "gender" concept construction, let children learn to "the difference between men and women" to respect each other, know how to avoid appropriately.
3. Parents lead by example
The "no crossing" father-daughter and mother-child relationship can also guide male and female treasures to learn to get along with each other correctly. The family concept of "children avoid mothers, women avoid fathers" will invisibly affect their children, so that they understand that there should also be gender "boundaries" between family members.
The family of "children and daughters" should be happy and harmonious, and do not let the feelings of brothers and sisters who should have been "intimate and intimate" "change the taste" because of their negligence, bringing unbearable consequences to the family.