When you are going to go one day, please do not have to comfort, often say that the first love will eventually break up will always change your heart.
When you are going to go one day, don't have to regret it, let me and him reminisce about those regrets...
Listening to Liu Xiaohui's "First Love", I can't help but think of that dusty past, my sweet and bitter first love.
My first love, named Ah Jian, worked as a machine repairer in a textile factory, because the salary was much higher than that of a general worker, and she was a skilled worker. Although he is not good-looking, he is still very popular with girls in the factory.
That year, I just went out to look for a job, and my girlfriend said that his cousin was doing well in the factory, so she introduced me to his factory.
After Ah Jian brought me into his factory, everything was very concerned about me, so I was very grateful to her, I just came out of society, I was in a foreign country, there was a boy of similar age, staying around every day, the consequences can be imagined, and soon we knew and fell in love.
Every day except for the time to go back to the dormitory to sleep, we would stay together
Ah Jian told me that he used to be a handyman, and when he received his salary, he found that the machine repair salary was twice as much as he was, so he paid attention to how the machine repaired the machine, and he took it to heart. Kung Fu does not pay off, once the factory mechanic resigned because of a family incident, A Jian went to the boss, asked the boss to consider it, let him do the machine repair, the boss can not believe him, because the boss knows that A Jian came out to enter this factory as a handyman, only to do more than half a year, where is this skill? At that time, Ah Jian was not angry, repeatedly asked the boss to give a second chance, the boss was also curious, this young man was so bold, he promised to give a one-month trial period, if qualified, he was promoted to machine repair, if not passed, do a good handyman
Ah Jian with his own wisdom, a month later, the boss without any sense of empathy to promote Ah Jian to a machine, listening to his past, my heart admires him very much, in my heart, he is so dazzling, dazzling!
Once on a holiday, we went to the riverside to play together, looked at him dumbfounded, laughed so much, and wanted to tease him
"Come and see if there's a big fish in the water!" I pointed to the river and said to him.
"Where?" How can I not see? He craned his neck to look.
"You go closer," I urged.
When his face was close to the river, I took an apple and threw it into the water, after the sound of "Peng", his face was all splashed, which made him know that he had been deceived, after drying the water on his face, he came to catch me, and I quickly slipped away
"If you have the ability, don't run," he chased and threatened me.
"You come after me, and when you get there, you say hehehehe
"Hahahahahaha, you little mischievous," he cried dotingly.
Under the sunset by the river, our laughter and laughter drifted far and far.
Sometimes we talk about life, about ideals, and about the future.
He said that part-time work is temporary for him, and when the time is ripe, he will definitely start his own business, whether he succeeds or fails, he will try it, of course, in the future road, I hope to have my company.
"Then maybe someone better will show up later?" I looked up and asked him.
"Little fool, you are the best, God let me meet you, I am satisfied!"
"Then will you marry someone you don't like in the future?" I asked curiously.
"Why marry someone you don't like?" What the hell are you thinking? Believe me, I will love you for a long time, all my life." He said affectionately: "After meeting you, I hope that we will be together every day in the future, a peaceful life, which is the greatest happiness for me." ”
The affectionate confession of his burning gaze made me feel moved when I first opened my heart.
When he came home for the New Year, he said that he would come to my house to play every year and would show my parents that they were determined to marry me.
At the New Year, Ah Jian and her girlfriend husband came to my house, and my parents welcomed them politely and warmly.
As soon as I sent them out, my father pulled me aside and asked, "Did those two people just now have the same surname as the neighboring village?" Dad asked me urgently.
"Yes, Dad, what's wrong with you?" I don't understand why Dad asked that.
"In the future, stay away from them and don't have anything to do with them."
"Why?" I asked incomprehensibly.
"It's not good for you to know, what are you doing asking so much?" Stay away from the person with that surname anyway. Dad said solemnly.
After the New Year, Ah Jian asked me to go to Guangdong with me, but my mother asked me to help grow peanuts at home before I went to work, so I let Ah Jian go down first.
After Ah Jian went down, he would call from time to time to tell him about his thoughts, and I was not.
Later, when my father found out that we were still in contact on the phone, he was very angry and warned me that I would not be allowed to answer Ah Jian's phone in the future.
I just hope to finish planting peanuts quickly and go to Ah Jian again.
As if he could see through my mind, my father confessed to me why he opposed the matter of associating with Ah Jian.
Dad said that in fact, this matter has been a long time, and I did not want to mention it again, but now I have to tell you the truth.
That year, my grandfather was only 22 years old, and an older brother was three years older than him.
When the Qingming Dynasty worshipped the mountain, the grave next to the people in the neighboring village was occupied by half of the people, and the cemetery in the neighboring village and the cemetery in my village were in the upper and lower positions. The graves of the ancestors of my village are on the top, and the graves of the ancestors of the neighbors are below, and they hoe half of the graves of our village when they hoe the grass on the mountain, which is a very unlucky thing in the countryside and destroys feng shui.
The patriarch of the village went to the neighboring village to find someone to theorize, and then everyone made an appointment to go to the cemetery to see.
The atmosphere of going to the cemetery that day was very tense, everyone was holding guys in their hands, hoes for making farm tools, shovels and shovels, firewood knives, etc., and people from neighboring villages invited people from other villages with the same surname nearby to help, including a few people from Ajian Village.
When the people in our village saw this situation, they quickly sent someone to the police station to report to the police.
They started negotiations, and the people in our village said that their graves were getting more and more occupied, and the main thing was to shave off a small part of our graves, which was very unkind. People in neighboring villages said that they had always been like this because there was grass to be hoeed, and they also said that the people in our village were making unreasonable trouble.
In this way, you fight as soon as you say a word.
The scene was really magnificent, and the guys in their hands were dancing around, and the scene was very chaotic.
Soon, the police station people rushed to the scene, fired a warning before stopping, the scene of blood splashed on the ground, the most serious of which was my grandfather, the grandfather was cut to the forehead, the wound is very deep, the blood flow is not stopped, the police rushed to send people to the hospital to rescue, my grandfather because of excessive blood loss, on the way to the hospital out of breath. The princess sent black hair white, so it was not desolate. The wife could not bear this blow, and the living son died like this, and a year later, the depression went with him.
Grandpa's wife was not yet thirty years old at the time, had two sons, and after two years of hard work at home, she also left her children to marry someone else.
This debt was caused by that conflict, and my grandfather could not let go until his death, leaving a last word before dying: He will never be associated with this surname.
Dad said sadly, "So if you think about it, if you insist on going your own way, how will Your Father face your great uncle when he goes out?" ”
I looked at my father's pale hair and haggard face, and knew that I couldn't be selfish anymore, and if I were to associate with Ah Jian again, I would really be a sinner in this family.
In order to make me and Ah Jian completely dead," I called my girlfriend and asked her to tell Ah Jian that I was dating at home and didn't want to get entangled with him anymore, and if someone liked him, let him also consider considering others.
After I said these words against my heart, my heart was like a knife, but there was nothing I could do.
In the days that followed, I was depressed and lifeless.
My mother was very worried when she saw me like this, and discussed with my father to send me to my cousin, to the big city to relax, to accept new things will not be like this, I think, it is good, it is far away from home, far from where Ah Jian works.
When I got to my cousin, I wasn't happy, and my cousin thought I wasn't used to it, so I just got used to it.
One day, my cousin introduced me to a girl named Qianling, and my cousin told me that she was originally from a neighboring village, but her grandfather had brought out her family members when she was working in the field.
Qianling is a generous and cheerful girl, and when she sees that I am always frowning, she asks me, I think we don't know each other very well, so I don't want to say why.
Later, I found that Qianling and her cousin's family relationship is not ordinary, false dao...?
I took the opportunity to ask my cousin, and got confirmation from my cousin, yes, they were lovers, when my cousin was a student, Qianling's father was my cousin's mentor and gave my cousin a lot of help. Qianling, who grew up in the city, has infinite curiosity about her cousin from the countryside, and is attracted by the attitude of her cousin and the simplicity of the rural people, so she is particularly enthusiastic about her cousin. And the cousin also has a good feeling for Qianling, who is not arrogant and generous and cheerful, who grew up in the city.
Qianling's family is very supportive of them. I asked my cousin, don't you know the feud between our family and the Qianling family?
The cousin said that it was time to resolve this matter, and everyone was at fault in that conflict.
I told my cousin about me and Ah Jian, and then my cousin discussed with Qianling and picked a date, Qianling's grandfather, mom and dad, Qianling, and my cousin went back to the house with me.
Qianling's grandfather was a veteran of the War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression and was very famous in a neighboring village, while Qianling's parents, teachers at a higher education institution, so they persuaded the people in the village to go well.
And the cousin, as the grandson of the great grandfather, first moved to persuade the uncle with affection and reason, and then together with the uncle to find the patriarch and do the ideological work of the patriarch, and finally the two villagers decided to visit the mountain together on the same day in the future, to ensure that there would be no more conflicts, and our family's family training and this surname will never be associated with this, and it no longer exists, the cousin brought Qianling home, the great uncle and the great aunt smiled and closed their mouths, the cousin also picked a time to tell my parents about me and Ah Jian, and my parents also nodded their heads and said that they would no longer interfere.
After all this, my cousin was going to work in the big city again, and I, in a hurry, rushed to meet Ah Jian.
I remember that it was after New Year's Day, because there was no mobile phone at that time, I knew my girlfriend's rent, and when I found my girlfriend, I knew the situation of Ah Jian.
When I rushed to my girlfriend, she saw me and opened her mouth wide in surprise: "How did you get here?" Didn't you marry at home? ”
"What's wrong, not welcome?" I...... No one wants it. "I laughed and played.
"You know what? Ah Jian and a girl from the same factory lived together. "Girlfriend told me, at that time I said at home blind date, let Ah Jian find another one, Ah Jian is not in pain, very negative, and then accepted a girl from the same factory, that girl you also know, when the girlfriend said the girl's name, I remembered, she has been pursuing Ah Jian, remember the time when I was with Ah Jian, she did not give up, will send her own photos to Ah Jian from time to time, will also say to Ah Jian to love him, anyway, this girl's love for Ah Jian, never hide, even if she knows that there is my existence, Even if he was rejected by Ah Jian countless times.
I just didn't expect Ah Jian to change his mind so quickly, I remember that he also told me about this girl before, and Ah Jian said at that time, "I will not look at her, I only have you in my heart, and everything she does is in vain." ”
I don't believe it's true, my girlfriend said so, I'll take you to their rental house.
I followed my girlfriend to their rental house, and before they could return, we waited on the path they had to go.
I don't know how long later, Ah Jian appeared, but with the girl tightly hugged, talking and laughing and walking over, all this, stabbed my eyes so painful, my blood coagulated, my heart was dripping blood! Before I got close, I pulled my girlfriend and hurried away.
Ah Jian, I lost you, how I didn't want to believe it was true!
The girlfriend said that if she didn't ask Ah Jian why he was like this, maybe we would still be saved.
I rejected my girlfriend's idea and told my girlfriend not to mention me in front of Ah Jian from now on, and I, from now on, hope to never see Ah Jian again.
I stayed in my girlfriend's rental house for one night, remembering the bits and pieces of the past with Ah Jian, I remember that he had also proposed that we rent a house to live together, but I refused, I said that I wanted to live together after marriage, and now, I actually regretted it a little, remembering the previous events, my chest tore my heart and lungs ache, and decided to go to my cousin the next day.
After living in my cousin's place for a long time and calming down, my cousin and Qianling proposed that I go to a domestic company to take a training course and do home economics after training.
I'm from the countryside, and housekeeping is much easier than doing farm work, so I'm doing it very well.
After three years of doing this, my cousin proposed that I continue my studies, and then I opened a housekeeping company, because of the help of my cousin and Qianling, I had a smooth journey.
All along, the people around me are worried about my lifelong events, and I also actively seek, but always fail, either by others to dislike me, or I can't find feelings for others, because I have a ruler in my heart, from time to time to take out a measure of others, in fact, I also know that if I marry A Jian, maybe I have a chicken feather, but I always can't help but compare him with others.
I have dreamed many times in my dreams of the days we have walked together, thinking about going back in time, if I can, I will never let you become a passer-by in my life! How reluctant I am to accept this fact!
I don't know how other people have lost love, I am counting the days, months, and years after the loss of love.
I've had a good time all these years, but I wake up painful after dreaming about you, and I cry when I think of you.
Time and space change, you and I no longer intersect, on the road of life, you and I cherish each other. ——— to my first love.