Zhang Jie, a native of Shan County, is a high school information technology teacher who loves life, is loyal to his career, and is accustomed to recording his feelings.
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Text/Zhang Jie
Today I deliberately turned over the old photos and found that since I was 30 years old, I have not had a few photos of myself, even with my family and even less with my friends. Every time I go out or travel, my family wants to take a picture of me, and I gladly agree, but when I see the effect, I immediately strongly request to delete it, and after several such passes, my family can't remember to take a picture of me.
Before the age of 30, wearing the aura of youth, warmed by the sun, believing that the future is unlimited, believing that music can be healed, believing in the goodwill of time, believing in everything that can be perceived, and believing that you are beautiful and beautiful. But youth is an unconscious run, the youth of their own will not draw the scenery of the way, the pure color to the season will be ruthlessly changed, will not read the passage of the way, the story that is in progress will be told by a different person, will not record the encounter on the way, those who travel all the way to the station will disappear, will not care about the hesitation and embarrassment in the rush. I have seen all the flowers blossoming, but I can't taste the cold and warmth of the world. Mistakenly think that youth is as beautiful as a flower, but youth is not a flower, the flower will bloom again, how can youth come back when it is gone?
I persuaded myself for a long time, a long time, but I still did not want to turn the pages of my youth, perhaps not only caring about the appearance at that time, I don't think it is clear: whether to envy the fearlessness at that time, or to laugh at the ignorance at that time, whether to collect the frankness of that time, or to be ashamed of the unintentionality at that time, or to have nowhere to put the persistence of that time, even if there is no end in sight. I stepped on the edge of youth, like walking on the bank of a river with my eyes closed, and the pictures of youth flashed intermittently in my mind, and there were many regrets. Maybe it's because of regret, I still don't think clearly. The elders say "you don't think comprehensively either", I say "I can't think comprehensively", so I don't know what to do.
Writer Zhang Xiaofeng said: "Since youth is a regret of 'no matter what you do, you feel like a wave', why not think about it in reverse, then it is almost equivalent to 'no matter what you do sincerely, you don't have to regret it'." Although I can still give a new word to say a worry, perhaps I have fully understood the sorrows of youth, wrapped in the feeling of youth, with the sorrow of youth, turning the pages of youth to meet the encounter after youth. This is the inspiration of the accidental collision of fingertips, maybe I care about myself, only this one, forgot to turn the years for myself.
So what happens after youth? In a song, Ashin wrote that "after youth, before admitting defeat, I still live hard", this life is life, then it is life for the time being.
Let's take a photo first, and see if my youth is with traces of life. When reading carefully, every discovery is excusable, every step is taken for granted; when you put into work, every action is positive and optimistic, and every result is real; in talking with people, every silence is self-smiling, and every similarity is a hidden surprise; when you travel, every road is full of scenery, and every encounter is full of highlights. Life should be like this, right? Where is the other side of life in the theory of relativity, such as "I don't shed tears doesn't mean there are no tears." On the other side of life, there must be bitter tears, indescribable bitterness, trampled self-esteem, insurmountable backwardness, powerless compassion, persistence that requires clenching of fists and gritting teeth, abandonment with a long sigh, extravagance that is beyond reach, and truth about our efforts in life.
If youth makes us shine, then after youth we will suffer from wind and frost. Are you ready? Let's take a picture first!