01
Tagore said: "Chastity is an asset born of abundant love. ”
In feelings, the most important thing for a woman is to maintain her own integrity and be able to keep the principles and bottom line in love.
Because, no matter how the times change, men will always mind the first time of a woman.
When a woman loses her first time, the man who loves you again will have something in mind.
Women don't overestimate men, don't think they won't care about your past, in fact, men are very mindful of women's past emotional experiences, especially cohabitation experiences.
In this world, every man wants to marry a woman who can keep his virginity, and wants his wife to be clean and complete.
Readers who have read "Tess of the D'Urbervilles" should know that a woman as pure as Tess is still abandoned by her beloved husband on her wedding night, and the biggest reason for this is that Tess is not the first time.
Men are very realistic and they can tolerate their own infidelity to feelings but never be able to forgive women for not being the first time.
When Tess meets Clay, they fall in love, are blessed by the people around them, and go from love to marriage, but the ending is tragic. Although Clay loved Tess very much, he could not forgive Tess for having been abused by other men.
For Tess, after she was hurt by Alec, she lost a woman for the first time, even if she was innocent, she did not get forgiveness from others, but suffered ridicule and accusations from others.
In the eyes of many men, an incomplete woman is unclean, whether it is a woman's fault or not, the final bitter fruit, is borne by the woman alone.
This reminds unmarried women that in love, they must have their own principles and bottom lines, and if they love a man, they cannot easily pay for each other.
In the relationship, women are often in a passive position, the probability of being hurt is much greater than that of men, and protecting themselves is the most important.
Once a woman loses herself in love, the result is very serious, and future love and marriage will be affected.
Like Tess, ruthlessly defiled by Alec, she paid the price of a lifetime. On the night of her marriage to Clay, she plucked up the courage to confess her past, still without her husband's understanding and forgiveness.
Abandoned by Clay and living a miserable life alone, Tess not only did not get forgiveness, but was ruthlessly criticized.
I have to say that society is very harsh on women, and people cannot forgive a woman who has left a disgraceful past for non-self-reasons, let alone marry such a woman calmly.
Many men hold the concept of double standard, they can forgive their own indulgence, but they can't forgive women's past. A woman who loses her first time is incomplete in their eyes, it is inappropriate, it is the woman's fault.
Therefore, women in love must understand that they need to protect themselves at any time and do not easily give themselves for a man.
Chastity, which will not go out of fashion in any age, is still very important in love and marriage.
No matter what kind of men, even if they love you very much on the surface, in their hearts, they will always be upset that women are not the first time.
This is the cruel truth about women in marriage, and it is worth women's vigilance.
02
So, losing a woman for the first time is really not worth marrying a man?
Here, what needs to be reminded to men is that not all women are unruly, and if you really love a woman, please tolerate her past.
In reality, many women have been hurt by love, but this is not the subjective fault of women, is a woman who is not stained by her own reasons not worthy of love?
Many men are too double-standard, they can't clean themselves up and love themselves, but they always like to demand that women are complete.
Just like many men in life, they live with women while hating women for not being clean, which is the greatest disrespect for women.
Nina O'Neill said: "Trust is the most important trait shared by two people in a marriage relationship, and it is indispensable for building a pleasant, growing relationship. ”
In marriage, the most valuable thing is that husband and wife understand and trust each other.
In "Tess of the D'Urbervilles", if Clay could trust Tess a little more, perhaps the ending would be different.
Tess, as we know her, is a pure woman who has a pure heart for love and marriage. She pursues the love she wants, refuses to communicate with purpose and lust, such a woman, should not be cherished by men?
But how did Clay treat her?
On the sweet wedding night, when Tess confessed her unbearable past to Clay with an incomparably sincere heart, in exchange for the other party's incomprehension, unforgiveness, and finally being cruelly discarded.
Tess endured the most cruel pain in marriage, although she was so beautiful and kind, although she was so pure, but she used her life to bear this sorrow.
Isn't Tess worth marrying? I think anyone who has read this book will feel sorry for Tess, and even hate Clay very much. This hatred can even be compared to the Alec that defiled Tess.
So, what needs to be reminded of men is not to hurt the woman who can confess her past to you, even if they don't have the first time, they are still pure women, worthy of men's cherishing and love.
In reality, I have seen too many double-standard men who ask women to live together in order to satisfy themselves, but they can never accept women's past.
This is a very sad reality, and it is very unfair to women.
Therefore, I hope that women can understand that men in feelings are actually very selfish, and if they can't accept you from the bottom of their hearts, such feelings are best to stop losses in time.
Women should never overestimate men, they are not as great as you think, and they always adhere to one principle in their treatment of women's feelings and bodies:
The woman he wants to marry must be the first time, the body is innocent, and there is no past emotional experience.
In this world, no matter how sincere love is, it cannot rival the physical incompleteness of women.
Like Tess, she failed in both love and marriage, and paid the price of her life even in the last five days of happiness.
This is a female tragedy and the greatest irony of noble love.
Therefore, remind the men and women in the relationship, if you love, please be sure to have more understanding and trust, and cherish each other.
Those women who lose their first time for non-self reasons do not mean that they have lost their value, if you love her, please be more tolerant.
Genuine love feelings are not measured by a woman's body, you say?
03
Huang Shaoping said: "Sincere love is not equal to sweet words, generous statements of the sea oath, such as glue-like kissing and hugging." Love is a noble, beautiful, and innocent feeling, and it should replace hypocrisy and fraud with loyalty and sincerity, self-interest and selfishness with mutual respect and respect, and rash action with moral civilization. ”
True love must be the determination of both parties to maintain love, to assume the responsibility of love, rather than satisfying their own selfish hearts.
Tess's tragedy in love and marriage deserves all men and women to reflect on how to maintain the longevity and loyalty of love when we start a relationship?
I think that everyone has a different answer to this question. But, whatever the outcome, you need to remember to live up to the person who truly loves you.
Throughout Tess's life, has she been wrong? I don't think she's wrong, like the subtitle Hardy, the author of Tess at D'Urberville, who is a pure woman.
In reality, there may be many women like Tess, even if they lose their first time, they still have their own value, worthy of being loved and cherished by men.
When men face a woman's past, they cannot simply attribute all the fault to the woman, and the source of every woman who is hurt is a man.
In the relationship, when the woman you love has a disgraceful past due to non-self-causes, why don't we accept them?
To be realistic, a woman who has lived with her must be labeled as "inappropriate"?
One should not be prejudiced to think that everything is a woman's fault, even if they are not complete, but this is not the criterion for judging whether a woman is good or bad.
So, hopefully, men can be a little more tolerant and fair when dealing with women like this.
Because a woman's body can never become the only measure of marriage, let alone a criterion for judging the quality of women.
At the same time, it also reminds women not to overestimate men, they are not so noble, and they cannot really let go of the mustard in their hearts.
This requires women to be able to keep the bottom line in their feelings, and then love a man, they must have their own principles, and do not easily give their bodies.
No matter how the times develop, a woman's chastity will always be the most important, and it still has the most important status and meaning in love and marriage.
I only hope that all women in this world can be cherished and treated gently by men.