In 1992, Wang Xiaobo was still teaching and programming with computers while writing novels.
That year, 40-year-old Wang Xiaobo, an earth-shattering event occurred, that is, his novel "Golden Age" won an award, with a large prize money of 250,000 Taiwan dollars.
As soon as the money arrived, Wang Xiaobo wrote to his friend Liu Xiaoyang, saying:
Now I have no interest in microcomputers, because I have found that I can also make money writing novels, and this time a novella, which won the United Literature Award, the prize money is more than my salary for several years, and now I am about to quit my job to do this work.
He used the money to buy a house, then quit his job and went into writing.
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On May 13, 1952, when Wang Xiaobo was born, his father Wang Fangming had been branded as a class dissident in the Three Antis Movement.
Large waves become small waves, and large waves turn into small waves, so they are named small waves.
Xiaobo was born in a Kochi family, his father was a famous logician and university professor, but he was "partial to the subject", especially did not want the children of the family to learn the liberal arts, because the liberal arts were particularly prone to trouble.
His mother is a state cadre, diligent and thrifty, Wang Xiaobo is most afraid of eating the rice made by his mother, because his mother cooks, it will always be the same, rice and vegetables are poured into the pot, and cooking with water is a meal.
Wang Xiaobo has two older sisters, an older brother, and among the boys in the family, he is the second oldest, so he especially likes the second, and even writes novels about Wang Er.
When he was a child, Wang Xiaobo's life was not small, he was born insufficient, his health was not good, he grew a huge head, and when he was three or four years old, he was diagnosed with severe hypochondriasis, so he had to take calcium tablets every day and sniffed out his ribs.
Growing up to seven or eight years old, going to primary school, and the country is in difficulty, the people are suffering, lack of clothes and food is inevitable, there is no food, Wang Xiaobo caught what to eat, when he went to class, even school supplies were stuffed into his mouth.
Wang Xiaobo went to school, people are still very bad, there is a teacher surnamed Ci, he gave people a nickname of "porcelain urinal", let him stand up to answer the question, he does not speak, just a strong roll of eyes.
Because of naughtiness, Wang Xiaobo was always beaten.
Slightly older, Wang Xiaobo liked to read, and he read Mark Twain's books until he turned them into a pile of shredded paper.
Although my father had a lot of books, at that time some books could not be read, and if they read them, they were dissidents, so Wang Fangming locked some books in the cabinet.
After reading the book in his hand, his brother Wang Xiaoping began to encourage Wang Xiaobo to poke the cabinet to steal the book, saying that he was small and thin, and his father would not beat him when he found out. Wang Xiaobo believed it, and as a result, he was beaten a lot.
Wang Xiaoping felt that he had read fast enough, but he found that Wang Xiaobo was faster. Once, he and Wang Xiaobo competed to read, and later found that he had only finished reading more than half of it, and Wang Xiaobo had already finished reading a book. After Wang Xiaoping's calculations, Wang Xiaobo's reading speed is 7 times that of ordinary people.
There is more than one way in life, and reading is not the only way out, but reading can make you see another way, not just follow the path specified by others.
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In the midst of restlessness and uneasiness, Wang Xiaobo had grown a big man.
At the age of 17, in the movement to the mountains and the countryside, with the pure ideals and romantic feelings of a teenager, Wang Xiaobo was loaded onto a train and transported to Yunnan like goods.
When he was in Yunnan, he was always not very "serious" in the eyes of others:
Tall, with a heavy head, walking with his head tilted, his footsteps dragging one by one.
Wang Xiaobo, who is five big and three thick, also got a nickname - bison.
He was taciturn, not very talkative, not very attentive to others, and sloppy, he hardly washed his clothes, his clothes were dirty, hung directly outside the door, and continued to wear them for a period of time, from white to yellow, from yellow to black. There was no one in Zhiqing who was dirtier than him.
Yunnan had poor food, so he went with some Zhiqing to steal chickens, and finally he was caught and fiercely criticized, and his life was miserable, and he learned to smoke, as if smoking was all sorrow. When he was fine, he would tell stories to others, "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", "Water Margin", "One Thousand and One Nights", no matter what, he told it vividly, and occasionally made up some stories himself to tell to others. When listening to the story and hearing the "meat strip", a group of people always laughed strangely.
In Yunnan, the most painful thing is that there are no books to read, only the "Metamorphosis" that he brought with him, which has been read over and over again, and the books have been turned into a roll of kelp. And the most beautiful thing is that the sky is blue and blue, standing in the small bamboo building and looking around, the bamboo forests everywhere are green and slim, and the clouds in the sky are white and plump.
This kind of beauty is easy to induce poetry, and Wang Xiaobo can't restrain his impulse to write.
One night, Wang Xiaobo got up in the middle of the night, quietly walked to the window, and by the moonlight, used a blue water pen to write on the mirror, wrote and scribbled, scribbled and wrote again, until the whole mirror turned blue.
Life is all the same, but someone can always have a fun life, and that has nothing to do with where it is, not with how much money there is, but with an interesting soul.
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There is bitterness and sweetness, that is life, there is good, there is bad, that is life.
Wang Xiaobo was a man who was not willing to be mediocre, and later in a letter to Li Yinhe, he said:
"There is only one thing I have inherited from my childhood, and that is the rage against the mediocre life, a determination not to be lonely.
Seeing everything vulgar, I silently wrote it down and turned it into boiling anger. Whoever thought it was funny, I was so angry that I said, what a small act! I'm going to fly over your heads!" ”
In 1971, Wang Xiaobo returned to Beijing and joined the team in Qinghu Mountain to start raising pigs.
He used a wheelbarrow to push pig dung up the hill.
At first, he thought that with his three years of suffering experience in Yunnan, he was a big man of one meter and eight meters, and such a thing as pushing pig dung should not be difficult for him.
The result was pushed for three days, he almost threw up bile, and the muscles in his lower legs were trembling all the time.
In the end, it was the fellow who saved him and let him do a lighter job, watching the fellow villagers work, Wang Xiaobo sighed to himself.
This was originally a chore, Wang Xiaobo was also bitter, but bitterly, he thought, fortunately, those pigs have no thoughts, otherwise, seeing people sparing no effort to push their dung up the mountain, they will definitely laugh to death.
Mu Xin said:
In life, you need a quality that is higher than chai rice oil and salt.
And what Wang Xiaobo said was:
It is not enough for a man to have only this life and this life, he should also have a poetic world.
Life is poetic, does not mean that there is no need for chai rice oil and salt, after leaving Qinghu Mountain, for chai rice oil and salt, Wang Xiaobo has been a worker in the instrument factory and the semiconductor factory for five years.
What is his poetry? Writing should be one of the poetic things.
In 1977, Li Yinhe became an editor in Guangming Daily and was already well-known. Wang Xiaobo sent the finished "Green Haired Water Monster" to Guangming Daily.
Li Yinhe's colleagues looked at it and were very moved, and the tears flowed down in large pieces.
Li Yinhe asked, "What do you see?" So committed? ”
Colleague replied: "Green haired water monster." ”
Next to Li Yinhe, a strange, "water monster", still with "green hair", how scary!
"So good-looking? I flipped over. ”
Li Yinhe took the manuscript and read it:
I said, "Demon, what do you think the light of that mercury lamp looks like?" Large clumps of dandelions floated on the river of the street, swallowing soft needle-like light. ”
The demon said, "Okay, so what about us walking on the sidewalk?" ”
I looked up at the street lamp, which cast its dim light all the way to the ground through the mist.
I said, "We seem to be at the bottom of a pond." From one moon to another. ”
At this look, my heart was scratched fiercely, and I waited to see the paragraph describing Dostoevsky's work "Nedochka Netskyova":
"I read the book and remember the first half of it for the rest of my life. I still think it's the best book, topped by a tome. I think people should always miss Dostoevsky for it. ”
Li Yinhe was shocked in her heart, wasn't this the real thought in her heart. She felt that she and this Wang Xiaobo, who had never met before, really had a sharp mind.
From that day on, Li Yinhe remembered this man named Wang Xiaobo.
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Wang Xiaobo's father, Wang Fangming, was a high-ranking intellectual, and his fame was not insignificant.
Once, Li Yinhe's friend wanted to ask questions, and Li Yinhe took the opportunity to follow. In fact, the drunkard did not mean to drink, she wanted to see the legendary Wang Xiaobo.
However, the moment he saw Wang Xiaobo, Li Yinhe's originally hot heart suddenly became cold, because Wang Xiaobo really didn't look good.
"I was shocked, I didn't expect it to be so ugly."
"Not only is it ugly, but it also has a fierce look in it."
At this sight, the original expectations turned into disappointment, and she never thought of falling in love with such an ugly person anyway.
However, within a few days, Wang Xiaobo went to guangming daily to block Li Yinhe, on the grounds that he was returning the book.
After the two met, they talked about literature freely, and when the conversation was hot, Wang Xiaobo came to a sentence:
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
Li Yinhe said: "No."
Wang Xiaobo asked fiercely, "How do you see me?" Frightened Li Yinhe was stunned.
Since that day, Wang Xiaobo has one more thing in his life, that is, writing love letters.
Many people put flowers into the shape of hearts and offered 99 roses, but in the end they could not resist Wang Xiaobo's love letter, but they could not resist a sincere word from the bottom of their hearts, and he wrote his love on the stave:
"I never dreamed that I would write the letter on the stave."
The staves came by chance, and so did you.
But my letter to you deserves to be written in the stave.
I hope you and I are an inexhaustible song..."
The more passionate the love letter was written, it directly turned into a naked confession.
"Your name is beautiful, really, your name alone is enough for me to love for a lifetime."
"The sky was full of stars, like a frozen rain."
Love letters a day, li Yinhe read every time, the heart is soft, reading and reading, tears.
Soon, Li Yinhe went on a business trip to the south, and when he returned, the table was full of love letters.
So the two of them were together.
Love is not so complicated, as long as I like you, it is enough, think too much, that is not enough love, otherwise, even if there are mountains and seas in the middle, you can also run to each other.
The richer the heart, the simpler love becomes.
The more empty the heart, the more love is similar to matter.
After the two were together, one day, Li Yinhe took Wang Xiaobo home, and Li Yinhe's mother looked ugly and her thinking was not orthodox.
"I think he's not orthodox and a bit outrageous."
Of course, the main reason is that it is ugly and hinders the view.
"Xiaobo is so ugly, I can't get my hands on it."
Li Yinhe also felt that Wang Xiaobo looked a little cold, so he proposed to break up.
Wang Xiaobo was half dead in anger and immediately replied:
"You must be able to smell the smell of erzhu head, wuliangye liquid, and bamboo leaf green from this letter paper, so why relieve your worries, only Du Kang..."
Li Yinhe ignored it, and Xiaobo continued to write:
"If you want to, I'll love you forever." If you don't want to, I'll miss each other forever..."
Li Yinhe still ignored it, and Wang Xiaobo said:
"You should go to the reptile hall of the zoo to see if I am even uglier than they are..."
Finally, he also said: "You are not so good-looking, we have evened it out." ”
Li Yinhe was happy, and he no longer cared about whether he was ugly or not, "I'm not so good-looking, why do I have to find someone so good-looking!" ”
The two were together again.
There are thousands of good-looking skin bags, interesting souls are one out of a thousand, there are too many good-looking people, and there are too few interesting people, these two people are more lucky, all kinds of interesting, and have each other.
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In 1978, the college entrance examination was resumed, and Wang Xiaobo could take the college entrance examination.
However, in terms of learning literature or theory, there was still some debate.
According to his father, Wang Fangming, all children are not allowed to study liberal arts, because Wang Fangming feels that he is unlucky for a lifetime because he has studied liberal arts.
Moreover, the life of studying liberal arts is not guaranteed, Lao She jumped into Taiping Lake, Hu Feng was imprisoned, and Wang Shiwei was shot, how can he study liberal arts? Or the theory is safer.
Wang Xiaobo also asked his brother Wang Xiaoping, and Wang Xiaoping's views were similar, and he told Wang Xiaobo that he would pass on a piece of paper and fake ten thousand books.
Anyway, in a word, science is the true tradition, and the liberal arts have their own reasons, and the truth may not be found in ten thousand books.
The family does not want Wang Xiaobo to learn literature, Li Yinhe is different, she supports Wang Xiaobo to learn liberal arts, she feels that Wang Xiaobo is a genius of literature, and it is simply intolerable not to write.
However, Wang Xiaobo still chose science, because of the liberal arts exam, many things have to be memorized, and Wang Xiaobo is sleepy with one back.
So I studied science and became a non-science writer.
After going to college, Wang Xiaobo found a person who was very similar to him, Liu Xiaoyang, Liu Xiaoyang was talkative, and quoted the scriptures, Wang Xiaobo was also good at talking, the two smelled the same, and they hit it off.
They often walk around campus arm in arm, occasionally dancing, just like falling in love.
On campus, Wang Xiaobo never wakes up, and does not trim the edges, wears slippers, and hardly speaks in public. But with acquaintances, there are always endless words, and there are always endless stories.
After the class during the day, everyone said at night, go, listen to Xiaobo tell the story.
When they were still in college, Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe got married, did not take wedding photos, did not hold a wedding, the two families ate a meal in Quanjude, a total of 10 people, even brothers and sisters did not go to Quan, just like ordinary relatives gathered for a meal, it was a wedding that was not like a wedding.
Later, I learned that Wang Xiaobo's family gave 500 yuan, and Li Yinhe wondered in his heart, "Why is it that their family gives money, not our family?" "Because she thinks that her family conditions are better, and Wang Xiaobo's family conditions are even worse."
Later she learned that it was a bride price.
Wang Xiaobo has Li Yinhe, just like life has flowers, just like the sun has the moon, and the sun and moon shine together.
Xiao Bo said: "I have a conscience, and my conscience is you." ”
Li Yinhe had Wang Xiaobo, just like the lock had the key.
Galaxy said, "You opened this lock on me with this key." ”
Love is simple, don't look at the worldly tidy up is very troublesome.
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In 1982, Wang Xiaobo graduated from university and Li Yinhe studied abroad. Because the policy does not allow both husband and wife to go abroad at the same time, Wang Xiaobo can only "stay alone in an empty house" in China, light a lamp and boil oil, read and write, although he has not written a famous hall for the time being.
Two years later, when her left-behind husband Wang Xiaobo went abroad to find his wife, he applied for school, and the head of the school told him: "You don't want to go to school, but to fund!" We have to cut it, and now we can't even keep the jobs of our colleagues, and we don't have the money to manage Chinese. ”
After that, Wang Xiaobo contacted a large number of schools, only waiting for four replies, three refusals, one agreed, and paid for the tuition fees himself.
Life is tight, so I had to go out to work to make money, Li Yinhe was a waiter at the front desk, and Wang Xiaobo was washing dishes in the background.
During that time, Wang Xiaobo felt that she was dragging Li Yinhe down, and Li Yinhe looked in her eyes, and she held Wang Xiaobo's ugly face in both hands and said:
"You write novels at home, I'll think about money."
Xiao Bo looked at her, and his eyes turned red.
After his situation was known to Li Yinhe's family, Wang Xiaobo's mother-in-law was resolutely opposed, but Li Yinhe insisted.
"He has such a wise mind, I don't want him to do rough work."
Family members are worried: "Writing novels cannot survive." ”
Li Yinhe said: "I insist that Xiaobo must write novels, and literature is his life. We don't have high requirements for life, and I can work alone enough. ”
Not only Li Yinhe's family couldn't stand it, but even Wang Xiaobo's family couldn't see it anymore. But Li Yinhe resolutely supported Wang Xiaobo, just as he supported him in studying liberal arts:
Xiao Bo is a genius, it is a pity that literary talent is wasted, and literature is his life, if he does not write novels, he is a walking dead, in that case, even if the material standard of living is high, it has no meaning.
In this way, Wang Xiaobo concentrated on writing and read widely, laying a solid foundation for future writing.
Writers are not born, and they cannot be exported without input, and the more excellent writers are, the more they input, the better they can be exported.
Wang Xiaobo often doubted whether he was suitable for writing, but Li Yinhe always said to him:
"Xiao Bo, write a novel well, you are priceless."
With the encouragement of Li Yinhe, he wrote "Tang Dynasty Stories" and completed a large number of the writing framework of "Golden Age".
Li Yinhe asked Wang Xiaobo: "How many streams of writers do you think you will become?" ”
Wang Xiaobo tilted his head and thought seriously for a moment and said, "First-class and half-class." ”
He asked, "What if I don't succeed in the future?" ”
Li Yinhe thought for a moment and said to him, "Even if we don't succeed, only our happy life is enough."
Complexity is someone else's, simplicity is their own, life is never what others say is what it is, Wang Xiaobo is lucky, because he met Li Yinhe, Li Yinhe is also lucky, because he met Wang Xiaobo.
The easiest thing between people is to ask for each other, and the most rare thing is to achieve mutual achievement.
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After returning from overseas, they rented a house near The Temple of Manju, which was a temporary home, and the only decoration in the room was books.
This is the most extravagant decoration, but also the most elegant decoration.
Li Yinhe, who graduated with a doctorate, came back and directly followed Fei Xiaotong as a postdoctoral fellow and entered the Institute of Sociology of Peking University, Wang Xiaobo was arranged as a family member, he was in Peking University, there was no formal project, only occasionally helped to do data analysis, and later became a lecturer.
Strong women and weak men, Wang Xiaobo also has inferiority, he even consulted with Li Yinhe to buy a taxi to make a living.
Peking University could not continue, and Wang Xiaobo went to the National People's Congress again.
In the Npc, Wang Xiaobo is the silent majority, the department holds meetings, he is always silent, does not communicate with others, refuses humor in meetings, and he is afraid that he will have black humor as soon as he opens his mouth.
He teaches English, has two classes a week, he can program, so occasionally he helps do some computer work, he develops software, he wins the Science and Technology Progress Award, and today, that's the right IT talent.
In addition to his work, he writes with software that he has programmed.
In 1992, a major event happened in Wang Xiaobo's life, his novel "The Golden Age" won an award, and the prize money was not cheap, worth his salary for several years.
He found that writing novels could also make money, so he quit his job and became a full-time writer.
Nietzsche said that most people only use work as a means of making a living, so they do not choose work, as long as they can provide rich remuneration. But for others, especially artists and contemplative people of all kinds, they would rather die than do the work they do not like, because their purpose is not to be paid, but to do what they like as a great reward. This is nothing else, doing what they like is their only appeal.
However, after full-time writing, his works are still not recognized, and although a few works have been published, they have been published as "yellow color" readings, such as "The Golden Age", which was published as pornographic literature, the book is titled "The History of Wang Er's Wind and Currents", and the cover is the nude of Wang Er and Chen Qingyang.
When such works reach the mainland, it is simply a disaster.
After he submitted the paper, the editor-in-chief gave him a lot of suggestions for revision, especially the part about sexual description, but changed it back and forth, or did not give it.
In order to publish the book, the shoes were broken a few pairs.
In the end, he decided not to change.
"People live to perform, so they lose themselves. Even if you have nowhere to go, never give in. I am determined not to change. I'd rather write something that can't be tasted than something that doesn't make me look like self-discipline. ”
"Although the excessive sexual depiction in literary works is kitsch, I still decided not to change these chapters, because life is like this, so why cover it up?"
Most people are boring, but someone still needs someone to start an interesting business.
It is difficult to publish the work, life still has to go on, he went to take a truck driver's license, in order to "live in the future, become a truck driver."
In 1996, four years after the Golden Age award, the novel Futurama won again, and in his acceptance speech, he said:
Literature is an eternal enterprise for which the individual is small.
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In addition to writing novels, he also occasionally writes essays, but he does not attach much importance to essay creation, but interestingly, his essays are highly recognized and loved.
Some people even said that he should write essays and should not write novels, because his novels are not serious.
However, in his view, essays are reasoning, although it is also important to explain the reasoning well.
Sometimes he was reluctant to write, and Li Yinhe discussed with him why he wrote essays, because the ideas and characteristics of the essays he wrote were very enlightening.
Wang Xiaobo thought about it and felt that it was also right, so many people are not reasonable, then give them reasoning.
The more the truth is explained, the more famous the essay is, and the narrower the road of life, because I know where the road I want to take is, and I am not willing to take other roads.
Wang Xiaobo's fame is also getting bigger and bigger, but it is still difficult to publish novels. Today, Wang Xiaobo's essays and Shi Tiesheng's prose are still two kinds of excellence.
Read his essays and you will find that he hates the things that bind people, he longs for freedom, he hates that boring stuff, he craves something interesting.
And the so-called interesting, that is, the difference in a person's personality can be displayed, such as "The Silent Majority", "A Maverick Pig", "My Spiritual Home" and other essay collections, are all the same.
The interesting thing about Wang Xiaobo is that he insists on himself, expresses those real feelings in his life, sincere and warm, he distinguishes between right and wrong, but only distinguishes between his own right and wrong, he is humorous, but outside of laughter, it is the helplessness of the whole world.
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"I hope that in the new year, we can stay away from all the weird things and everyone can be able-bodied people."
This is Wang Xiaobo's blessing in his New Year's message in 1997.
However, only a third of the New Year passed, Wang Xiaobo left this world, and when he left, there were still many strange things in this world, and there were many unsound people.
In October 1996, Li Yinhe visited abroad, Wang Xiaobo sent her to the airport, where he put his arm around Li Yinhe's shoulder and said goodbye.
But that parting is really a farewell.
On April 11, 1997, Wang Xiaobo suffered a heart attack and passed away.
While sorting out Wang Xiaobo's relics, Li Yinhe's friend flipped through the love letter written by Xiaobo, tears rolled out, and said to Li Yinhe:
"Galaxy, you have too much wealth. Even if I can only receive one of these letters in my lifetime, I will be satisfied with death. ”
And Li Yinhe said in "Honey Picking in the World":
"At the most important time of his life, his love gave me only one person. It was enough to just get his love in my life, no matter what kind of pain and suffering I encountered, Xiaobo gave me this unrelenting love from a young age, which was my best reward, and I didn't need anything else. ”
The epitaph of the famous writer Stendhal is: Lived, loved, written.
Wang Xiaobo had all three.
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Wang Xiaobo's life is interesting and humorous, after his death, many people saw the value of Wang Xiaobo, saw his unique literary genius, and his works that were difficult to publish were loved by countless people.
Wang Xiaobo became a literary phenomenon.
When he was alive, he was an "unorthodox" writer, but after his death, his work suddenly became "serious".
Wang Xiaobo said: Our lives have so many obstacles, it's really interesting. This logic is called black humor. ”
This is really humorous, black humor, and Wang Xiaobo's usual mocking style makes people feel that even if he leaves, he still makes a joke with the world.
After Wang Xiaobo left, someone asked Li Yinhe: "If you have the opportunity, what question would you most like to ask Wang Xiaobo?" "
Li Yinhe said: When I went to visit Xiaobo's tomb in the morning, some readers put flowers, second pots or cigarettes in front of the tomb, and one person put a text of Wang Xiaobo, and a butterfly was always pasted on it. I would like to ask Xiaobo: You are in too much of a hurry, after you leave, everyone in the times is changing, too many people have no soul, and what about you? Is your soul still there?
Too many people have no soul, people with souls can only walk alone, they have gone a long way, only to find that there are too many people who have surpassed this era, so they want him to die, stop, and the talents of the same era catch up with their footsteps.
Yesterday so, so today, and still tomorrow, interesting soul, always alone.
As Nietzsche once said:
The more advanced philosophers are alone, not because he likes to be alone, but because he does not have his kind around him.
From this point of view, lonely ones, blessed are you, let those who are in groups rejoice, you hear the eternity of the soul in peace.
Wen | not interesting soul