On July 19, 2021, Li Zongsheng turned 63 years old.
From Xiao Li to Old Li, he is bitter, like a fish in the throat, not enough for outsiders.
Li Zongsheng, who is in his sixties, is still talking about the past and trying to dissolve and ridicule himself in his way.
Life is a process of constant loss.
He did not expect that when he personally wrote "When Love Has Become a Thing of the Past", tailor-made the second half of his life, Li Zongsheng was keen on self-abuse, and tirelessly became the person in the song in his own song.
On July 19, 2021, Li Zongsheng entered the age of 63. Living to this age, old Li is more and more nostalgic.
He often thought back to where the people who called himself Xiao Li had gone. Friends and lovers who once accompanied them have been scattered in the end of the world.
In Li Zongsheng, finding the depth of life is not a reluctant task, and his hill has always been full. For a long time, people imagined Li Zongsheng as too deep and complicated, in fact, he was just a mortal.
Loss is the normal state of mortals, think but can not get, you live in life, now his voice is more and more vicissitudes, even a little blunt, rough but delicate. The past is not like smoke. I know all the taste of sorrow, but I want to say that I will rest.
All the losses of those years constitute a complete Li Zongsheng.
Back at the beginning of the story, Li Zongsheng was so ordinary that no one noticed.
He was born 63 years ago, in the early summer of Taipei.
His father was a gas worker and his mother was a teacher, and Li Zongsheng's family conditions were not good during his childhood.
When he was a child, Li Zongsheng lived with his mother next to the vegetable market and felt the most essential fireworks of life.
Since Li Zongsheng was a teenager, he would help his father deliver gas.
He once wrote in the song "Three Things about Azon": I must carry the gas through the stinking night market.
Before he could prove his ability to make money independently, Xiao Li had to take advantage of the light afternoon of business to tie phone tags to telephone poles in his new neighborhood.
He loves the place, "it's like an old sweater given to you by your elders, obviously outdated, but warm."
When he was young, Li Zongsheng was seen by the people around him as a stupid child who could not even pass the high school examination. At that time, only two people in the class did not get in, one was Li Zongsheng, and the other classmate had a slight intellectual disability.
Such a situation naturally made him feel frustrated. "There was no indication at the time that I was a person who could survive in society, and every step I took, I was told again and again that you were destined to become a person who did not show up." 」
No talent, no looks, no encouragement.
At the age of 17, Li Zongsheng was still studying in Hsinchu City, sixty kilometers away from home.
It was 1975, and the folk songs of huddlefu made the whole of Taiwan boil. At Zhongshan Hall in Taipei, Yang Xian sang poems by Yu Guangzhong, and he was known as the "Father of Taiwan's Modern Folk Songs" with his album "Collection of Modern Chinese Folk Songs".
Yang Xian A new era of music has arrived.
In this wave, a young man who has not been optimistic since childhood will affect the entire Chinese music scene in ten years.
He is Li Zongsheng.
It was still the age of 17.
On the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, Li Zongsheng walked alone on the campus, feeling that there was something very heavy in his heart oppressing him, and he could not breathe.
In excruciating pain, he wrote "One Man."
"The feeling of running alone in the dark of night weighs me down somehow."
In those gray days, the only thing that could bring relief to Li Zongsheng was a guitar.
A lover of music, he caught up with the Taiwanese folk movement, and Xiao Li did not hesitate to throw himself into this torrent.
In 1979, Li Zongsheng, who was still studying, and his classmates founded the "Acoustic Guitar" choir and played the band.
Every holiday, he helped his father deliver gas during the day and went to the restaurant to sing at night.
Perhaps since then, the eating men and women in the city have made the first preparation for Xiao Li to understand the hearts of women.
Surrounded by night, he saw a kind of degraded beauty.
Without those days, Li Zongsheng would not have written the sentence in "The Night is Too Dark" that "men have not seen lotuses for a long time and began to feel the beauty of peonies."
Because of the repeated blows in his youth, Li Zongsheng would involuntarily feel nervous and nervous whenever he held the guitar and sang.
Those hands, which had become rough from the long years of sending gas, practiced the piano more than others. His knowledge of guitar, keyboards, and music theory all stems from self-study.
The parents ignored their son who sang, but never felt that this was something that could be eaten as a meal: "If you like to sing, you can go, but after graduation, you can go home and send gas." ”
Who knows that two years later, Xiao Li signed a "Complete Collection of Acoustic Guitar Works" with Poly Gold Records.
The 23-year-old Li Zongsheng began to feel that he was not useless, and the confidence he had lost before this moment began to return.
In 1982, at the age of 24, Li Zongsheng met the first woman in his life, Zheng Yi.
Entering the recording industry, he replaced Hou Dejian, a producer who returned to the mainland, and personally produced the album "The Rain Came Just In Time" for his girlfriend Zheng Yi, which eventually proved that Li Zongsheng was talented in music.
The album was widely acclaimed in the first row, zheng yi on the right, and Lee Zongsheng's behind-the-scenes work in pop music was on the right track. Xiao Li couldn't believe that this was something that really happened to him.
Standing in the backstage, 24-year-old Li Zongsheng saw Zheng Yi singing on the stage and heard the shouts of the audience, and felt proud in his heart:
"I'll never forget that day. I stood in the back and watched Zheng Yi on the stage singing, and so many people applauded her at the scene... I asked myself: Is this true? I felt at that time that one of the things I did, changed a person's person, and my tears were going to fall. ”
"The future of the singer is my future."
In 1984, Lee signed with Rolling Stone Records.
Also in the same year, 30-year-old Luo Dayou gathered more than 60 singers from more than 20 companies to work together to sing a song "Tomorrow Will Be Better" for anti-piracy, and then suddenly left Taiwan and left his hometown.
After Luo Dayou and Li Zongsheng luo Dayou left, Li Zongsheng took over this important baton. In this context of the times, he created the album Busy and Blind for a girl they both knew together.
That girl was Zhang Aijia.
Zhang Aijia
Li Zongsheng's album "Busy and Blind" produced for Zhang Aijia,
Ranked 19th in the "Taiwan Top 100 Albums" in the future selection,
It also opened the wind of Taiwan's "concept album".
Such achievements have undoubtedly consolidated his position in the music industry.
Zhang Aijia 'Busy & Blind' album cover
It is precisely because of Zhang Aijia that people have realized Li Zongsheng's talent for delicately portraying women's subtle psychology.
From this record, he set the tone of his life's creation, and "the most understanding of women's hearts" became Li Zongsheng's unique label.
He was 27 years old.
Zhang Aijia and Li Zongsheng
Li Zongsheng and Zhang Aijia were once considered by the outside world to have some kind of connection of love. From the beginning of Busy and Blind, they became close friends and talked about everything. When the song "The Price of Love" appeared, the scandal between the two was even more rampant.
On May 5, 2006, a long time has passed since the past, and Zhang Aijia, who is already 53 years old, still can't let go. At Li Zongsheng's Taipei World Tour, she asked a question that many women will ask:
"Have you ever loved me?" We've had so many gossip, right, my husband also wants to know, have you ever loved me? ”
At that time, sitting in the audience were Li Zongsheng's two ex-wives Zhu Weiyin and Lin Yilian. Li Zongsheng heard Zhang Aijia's sudden question and became nervous. I had to use laughter to prevaricate, not saying a word, and then sang "The Price of Love".
"Let's go, let's go, people always have to learn to grow up and go, let's go, life will inevitably experience painful struggles"
As sung in "The Price of Love", Li Zongsheng and Zhang Aijia are still close friends and have nothing to do with love.
Later, Zhang Aijia responded to li zongsheng's questions on the stage that year: "They all guessed wrong about us. ”
At the age of 28, Li Zongsheng released his solo album "The Spirit of Life", which was his first solo album.
"Opening Remarks" is the first song of these. "What kind of mood are you in now, joy and sorrow, or a little bit of unclear sorrow?"
It infuses Li Zongsheng's 28 years of life experience and inner monologue.
Each song is a story, the mood seems to be shallow, but in fact, it is surging undercurrents, and I can't bear to listen to it.
Most of the songs were written in the attic of his home when he was not yet mixed, and occasionally when friends came to visit, he would play and sing them to others, and sometimes before he finished singing, he himself was in tears.
Xiao Li was emotional, he thought of the days of the early years of unambitiousness, and thought of the gas little brother.
Li Zongsheng's solo albums sold mediocrely, but they had a profound impact on the Chinese music scene. Music critic Ma Shifang said:
"Before that, we said that Luo Dayou and Hou Dejian were all big narratives, about the times, they were all big egos, full of collectivist aura.
When it came to Li Zongsheng, Taiwanese songs began to move from collectivism to individualism, all of which were small loves, small expectations and disillusionment.
And Li Zongsheng can always find the brilliance of poetry from the trivialities of these lives, and write epic courage from the trivial self. ”
Li Zongsheng always considered himself a very ordinary person, and he did not forget the way he came.
1986 was of extraordinary significance to Li Zongsheng, who was 28 years old at the time.
This year, he released his first solo album and met his first wife.
She is Zhu Weiyin.
Zhu Weiyin and Li Zongsheng
Zhu Weiyin recalled his acquaintance with Li Zongsheng: it was introduced by his friend Su Rui, and he did not expect that his opening statement was: Will you play Taiwanese mahjong?
Zhu Weiyin was a little disappointed, how such a talent was not romantic at all.
They turned to dance, jumping more and more.
After that, the two began a long-distance relationship, Li Zongsheng was in Taiwan, and Zhu Weiyin returned to Hong Kong, making daily cross-ocean phone calls.
One day two years after Li Zongsheng and Zhu Weiyin,
Zhu Weiyin said: "My phone bill is going to run out, we have two choices, either get married or break up. ”
In this way, in 1988, after the two married,
Zhu Weiyin settled in Taiwan with her husband Li Zongsheng for love, and gave up the cause she loved for this reason.
This relationship, from the very beginning, is Zhu Weiyin taking the initiative to pay.
Some things are already predestined in the dark.
Zhu Weiyin and Li Zongsheng wedding scene
The significance of 30 years old for Li Zongsheng is not only marriage.
In the same year, he also created the classic album "Waking Up in Dreams" for Chen Shuhua.
In this album, Li Zongsheng deliberately uses the second-person "you" as the narrator of each song, telling the inseparable in love with eloquent words.
Chen Shuhua
"I know that sadness is always inevitable, so why should you be bitter and deeply in love."
Because love is always inseparable, why should you care about that little bit of warmth?"
"Waking Up" became the first album in the history of Taiwanese pop music to sell more than one million.
Everyone said: "Li Zongsheng understands women better than women." ”
Since Zhang Aijia, Li Zongsheng has tailored classic albums for many female singers.
It also heals many souls trapped by love.
He released a series of songs,
"Ask", "Ghost Obsession", "Realization", "Cloudy Day", "I Really Love You", every capital is loud.
Li Zongsheng and Karen Mok
These songs, as containers for Li Zongsheng's thoughts, precipitated his deepest emotions.
Gao Xiaosong said:
"Li Zongsheng is probably the biggest well in Chinese music, and when this well nourished so many singers of the year, a forest was formed around him, and it was full of leaves."
This well has won countless people.
Zhang Aijia, Doll, Xin Xiaoqi, Lin Yilian, Liang Jingru...
Li Zongsheng loves his singer very much, and he believes that as a producer, he is in the same boat as the singer.
Doll once met a Beijing dancer in Hong Kong,
After returning to Taiwan, his thoughts became ill, and he saved up half a year's savings to go to Beijing in order to meet and perform everywhere.
doll
Who knew that the other party was already a husband, and she was unwilling but could only quit dismally.
After Li Zongsheng listened to the story of the doll,
One day while eating beef noodles, I suddenly had the inspiration to write "Across the Ocean to See You" on napkins.
"In the wind and sand, looking at you far away, I am so sad that I can't help myself."
The doll burst into tears after reading the lyrics of this song,
Words have never been able to express her affection in one ten millionths,
Li Zongsheng wrote out all the pain in her heart.
In order to raise funds to make records for dolls,
He decisively sold his Mercedes.
Walking in the pop music scene for more than ten years,
He did change the fate of many singers.
The first row is from left to right: Doll, Lin Yilian
The second row is from left to right: Zhou Huajian, Li Zongsheng, Zhao Chuan
At that time, under the predicament of many people who were not optimistic about Liang Jingru, Li Zongsheng heard her recording,
It was determined that this female singer, who was not optimistic, was talented and should not be buried.
He took 18-year-old Liang Jingru to Taipei, like Yan Father, writing songs for her,
Help her fight for various opportunities, which has the "love song queen" after that.
Liang Jingru said: "Li Zongsheng is my music godfather and the best friend in life. ”
Liang Jingru and Li Zongsheng
Liang Jingru once gave a concert of Master's rational and perceptual works,
Complaining that Li Zongsheng did not write vicissitudes of love songs for her, old Li sighed: "Some songs cannot be sung casually, the signs are not good, these love songs are too bitter ..."
Li Zongsheng was trapped by love all his life.
In 1992, at the age of 34, Li Zongsheng met a woman he could never forget, Lin Yilian.
Lin Yilian
The winter in Beijing that year was exceptionally cold.
The two met, because of Chen Kaige's film "Farewell to the Overlord", Li Zongsheng was ready to write a theme song for this literary and artistic work.
In the years that followed, Chen Kaige could not say goodbye to "Farewell to the Overlord".
The same is true of Li Zongsheng, and what he cannot say goodbye to is Lin Yilian.
From left to right: Zhang Guorong, Lin Yilian, Li Zongsheng
Li Zongsheng wrote an ending song called "When Love Has Become a Thing of the Past", and he sang this ending song with Lin Yilian, which also made the two feel affection for each other.
When a talented person meets a talented woman, he feels sorry for each other and is out of control. When Lin Yilian began to sing the first sentence in the recording studio, Li Zongsheng's eyes were already wet after hearing it through a layer of glass. “
A woman like Lin Yilian, listening to her voice is enough to fall in love with her. ”
Li Zongsheng and Lin Yilian This year, Lin Yilian signed a contract with Rolling Stone Records, the two met and fell in love, and their eyes were full of appreciation and admiration.
One is the godfather of music, the other is the diva of love songs... That year, Li Zongsheng was 34 years old and Lin Yilian was 26 years old.
In 1993, Li Zongsheng personally created a new album "Don't Care Who I Am" for the woman in front of him.
"A few times I really wanted to get myself drunk, to keep myself away from those many grievances, and to let the long-hidden longings fly with the wind."
In 1994, Li Zongsheng held a farewell concert in Taipei.
He sang the famous song "When Love Has Become a Thing of the Past" with Lin Yilian.
In 1994, 36-year-old Li Zongsheng and 28-year-old Lin Yilian sang "When Love Is a Thing of the Past" and the two sat on a bright stage, their eyes facing each other with deep affection.
No one will forget Xiao Li that night. Sitting next to Lin Yilian, Li Zongsheng danced with his hands and feet, never stopping for a moment, like a child, and even shook his head to cover up the tension in his heart.
When Li Zongsheng looked at Lin Yilian, there was light in his eyes, and there was also love that could not be hidden. At that time, his wife Zhu Weiyin was sitting in the audience, with mixed feelings in her heart, and her heart seemed to be bleeding.
Li Zongsheng has since had the title of "Scumbag Grandfather".
Reality will not be erased, at that time Li Zongsheng was a husband with a wife. Zhu Weiyin sent a message to Lin Yilian: "I love Li Zongsheng very much, we already have two daughters. ”
Lin Yilian did not want to destroy other people's families, she sold all her properties, and went to Canada alone, away from grievances.
Lin Yilian and Li Zongsheng
Surprisingly, Zhu Weiyin underestimated her husband's obsession with Lin Yilian. Regardless of his wife and daughter, and regardless of worldly rumors, Li Zongsheng chased thousands of kilometers to Canada. Lin Yilian chose not to see, Li Zongsheng stood outside the door and drenched in rain all night, blowing a cold wind all night, which was also the inspiration for the later "For You and Me to Be Blown by the Cold Wind".
"If love is no longer possible, you can understand that it doesn't matter
You don't have to comfort me, why be afraid of my sorrow?"
Such an affectionate man, no one can refuse, Lin Yilian is no exception.
Li Zongsheng and Lin Yilian
On January 30, 1997, Li Zongsheng signed a divorce with his wife Zhu Weiyin, and the marriage lasted for nine years.
"Feelings are not your love and my wishes, it is best to love and hate to equalize the two do not owe each other."
Feelings say through one person to break free, one person to pick up"
When Li Zongsheng left Zhu Weiyin, the two people had no love, no hatred or quarrel, only constant affection and endless silence.
Those days, for Zhu Weiyin, were overcast.
After the divorce, her parents died one after another, coinciding with the Hong Kong financial tsunami, and all her property was lost.
"The people I loved the most left me, the money was gone, and I contracted a strange disease, which I later learned was panic disorder, and my life was at the bottom of the valley."
Zhu Weiyin wrote in her autobiography "True Love Does Not Die": "I don't hate them, there is no right or wrong in love. ”
On February 22, 1998, Li Zongsheng finally married his beloved Lin Yilian.
This year, Xiao Li is 40 years old, which is the year of confusion.
In those years, Li Zongsheng created countless golden songs for his wife Lin Yilian, and every word and sentence was naked and affectionate, which was a match made in heaven.
However, marriage is different from love, life is trivial in exchange for discord and consumption, romantic love has not resisted a dull life after all.
More than a year after marriage, Lin Yilian gradually stopped making music and began to teach her husband and children, and such a day was not happy.
A year later, she returned to the singing scene, and the radiant stage was Lin Yilian's destination.
Since 2000, Lin Yilian's album has not had Li Zongsheng's songs.
She is no longer satisfied with being an urban woman under the packaging of Li Zongsheng, and wants to seek a larger musical proposition.
A song "At Least There Is You" is popular all over the country, and the person who wrote the lyrics for her is no longer Li Zongsheng.
Slowly, the two were relatively speechless.
Finally, on July 12, 2004, Li Zongsheng and Lin Yilian publicly issued divorce statements: "If our love is wrong, may you and I not suffer in vain."
Sandy, wish you happiness and find what you want and what you think is worth it. ”
Li Zongsheng divorce statement
In the year of divorce with Lin Yilian, Li Zongsheng was 46 years old, and even if he had everything in his heart, he could only say goodbye bitterly.
"When Love Has Become a Thing of the Past" has become a true portrayal of Li Zongsheng's feelings, a song of promise, a word into a slur.
"Love is a problem, people are dazzled to forget that pain may be OK, but it is not easy to forget you"
He didn't expect to write his own songs, tailor-made for himself for the rest of his life.
Li Zongsheng truly became the person in the song in his own song.
Even if the memory cannot be erased, love and hate are still in the heart. Li Zongsheng and Lin Yilian became the past.
The woman who had once made the light in his eyes later became a distant landscape, silent, but everywhere.
The scene of "I first saw you, alone in the crowd" has been like smoke.
After leaving Lin Yilian, Li Zongsheng almost stopped creating.
The era that belonged to him was gradually drifting away, and he did not want to chase it.
After the turn of the millennium, Li Zongsheng began to drift between Beijing and Shanghai.
He saw Beijing, where people wasted time in the square, and the old man basked in the sun next to the wall, and his expression was lost but ordinary.
Xiao Li was no longer young, he felt that he was old.
During his time in Beijing, Li Zongsheng gave all his passion to his other lover, the "acoustic guitar".
In addition to the piano, what makes him feel warmer is his three daughters. When it comes to his daughter, Li Zongsheng always gushes endlessly, and the sweetness and satisfaction on his face are fully revealed, which is the warmth and fragility that belongs to his father. "My daughter is not only my spiritual comfort, but also the driving force of my life." Race with himself Li Zongsheng - 1984-1989 Li Zongsheng's portfolio
Old Li experienced the joy of being a father, and also thought of his father who had passed away.
At the age of 60, Li Zongsheng wrote "Newly Written Old Songs" for his father.
"Dad, I think you've only come to old age to think about reflecting on the father-son relationship, in fact, you are answering the proposition that you have perfunctory half a life."
This is a reconciliation letter that Li Zongsheng has never sent, placed in the deepest part of the drawer.
Living to this age when it is easy to cry, Old Li deeply perceives the past as a movie starring himself.
On September 28, 2013, Li Zongsheng held a concert at the Taipei Arena.
He was 55 years old.
Standing on the stage, Li Zongsheng sang various songs that he had composed for his ex-wife Lin Yilian.
After the end of the song, he kept remembering Lin Yilian's various moments to everyone, but he did not know that Zhu Weiyin, who was also his ex-wife, sat in the audience and watched him silently.
Later, Zhu Weiyin said: "At that time, I was really excited to hear that he was missing other women. ”
No one knew what kind of emotion this excitement was, and the pain in it was known only to her.
Living to this age, Li Zongsheng likes to miss the past more and more.
At the age of 55, Old Li recalled the past events that happened to him and wrote the famous poem "The Hill".
Li Zongsheng sang "The Hill" live, which made people tear up In fact, the melody of this song was written as early as 2003, and the words were not really completed until 2013.
In ten years, Li Zongsheng experienced a divorce from his beloved, traveled to many strange cities, and saved up because he wanted to write songs.
"After crossing the hill, I found that no one was waiting
Chattering, never to recall tenderness
Why can't I remember who gave me the hug last time?"
From Little Li to Old Li, crossing the hills is a fate that he cannot get rid of in his life.
When Xiao Li, who has a white head, thinks about the past, he must have mixed feelings in his heart.
Life is a process of continuous loss, after Li Zongsheng crossed the hill, he faced the desolation of emptiness, but he could only face the difficulties of life with a hippie smile.
In 2014, Li Zongsheng "burped" at his concert.
He likes self-abuse very much, and sings "When Love Is a Thing of the Past" with his ex-wife Lin Yilian.
The little Li of the past is already an old Li, with white hair and a vicissitudes of face.
In 2014, Li Zongsheng and Lin Yilian sang "When Love Has Become a Thing of the Past" over the air, choking up tears Lin Yilian looked like a world across the big screen in red.
Li Zongsheng, who had been keeping his head down, finally plucked up enough courage to look up at this woman who had brought him countless loves and hangings.
Such a scene makes people dream back to 1994.
Twenty years have passed, and it has long been a matter of human beings, leaving Li Zongsheng alone to be sad, and he has become a dramatic poor person.
Old Li choked up at the beginning of "love is a problem" and then covered his mouth with his hand.
Afterwards, the reporter asked about the "accident" during the performance, and Lao Li said that it was not choking: "It was because I ate too much before going on stage and burped." ”
Okay, you say hiccups are hiccups, don't eat too much before you go on stage next time.
A nearly 60-year-old person will still defend the secret emotions in his heart, and he has not been able to let go.
People who like Li Zongsheng affectionately call him Xiao Li.
As he grew older and older, people began to call him Old Lee or Big Brother. And he always laughed and called himself "Xiao Li", all the time.
On an interview program, Li Zongsheng said that he now began to call himself Xiao Li.
He often thought back to where the people who called himself Xiao Li had gone.
Friends and lovers who once accompanied them have been scattered in the end of the world.
Someone once asked: What is it like to understand Li Zongsheng? The following answers are numerous, all of which are a sad and sad story. In fact, whoever can understand Li Zongsheng, what you understand in an instant is yourself. Xiao Li, who has written songs for others for decades, finally wrote a "song for himself" for himself in 2010.
"Don't rush the years, I don't push when it comes."
I should give back, I should give
I don't chase after the far, I just want to find out the reason."
Li Zongsheng sang "Song to Himself" on the spot from Xiao Li to Old Li, which was sweet and bitter, like a fish in the throat, which was not enough for outsiders.
Li Zongsheng, 63, is still talking about the past and trying to use his way to dissolve and ridicule himself.
The ripples of sadness that Xiao Li has stirred up in the hearts of generations may stem precisely from this nostalgia and self-pity.
That was his self-cultivation as a lover.