A man's betrayal of the family is often not accidental, but the seeds of "premeditation" have been planted deep in his heart, quietly growing until he breaks through the ground.
They did not go astray because of impulse, but they had already prepared "these 3 things" in the depths of their hearts, and the shadow of betrayal quietly hung over the originally happy family.
[First preparation: premeditated]
As the ancient Roman philosopher Seneca said, "Fate is not an opportunity, but a choice." ”
Before men cheat, they have already struggled and made countless choices in their hearts, and their premeditated plans are not achieved overnight, but gradually formed in the thinking day after day.
They may have made new friends of the opposite sex at work, or they may have met someone they liked in a social situation, and these encounters may be just small episodes in life, but for men who have already premeditated, they become an opportunity for them to cheat.
They will rehearse the cheating scene repeatedly in their minds, imagining the sweetness and excitement of being with a third party.
This premeditation is not out of desperation, but out of a kind of dissatisfaction with the status quo and the pursuit of novelty.
They have long forgotten the responsibilities and commitments of marriage, and only think about how to satisfy their own selfish desires.
Behind this premeditation, there is a man's infidelity to his marriage and betrayal of his family.
[Second preparation: weigh the pros and cons]
Before a man cheats, he will engage in a fierce inner struggle. They will weigh the pros and cons and think about whether the cost of cheating is worth it.
As the British writer George Bernard Shaw said, "The sensible man adapts himself to the world, but the irrational man insists that the world adapt to him." ”
When men weigh the pros and cons, they tend to think from their own perspective and put their own interests first.
They will consider the possible consequences of cheating, including family breakdown, reputational damage, property division, etc.
However, driven by strong selfish desires, they often choose to ignore these consequences and put their personal interests above their families.
They will think that if they are in control of the situation, they can avoid these consequences. This kind of selfish thinking makes them pursue the pleasure of cheating even more unscrupulously.
In the process of weighing the pros and cons, men will constantly make excuses and justifications for themselves.
They will think that their cheating is due to dissatisfaction and repression in the marriage, and because of the negligence and indifference of their wives.
However, these excuses and justifications are merely excuses for them to evade their responsibilities. The real reason is that they have long since left the responsibilities and commitments in their marriage behind, and only think about how to satisfy their selfish desires.
[The third preparation: no self-blame]
Men tend not to feel guilty and blame themselves for their actions after cheating.
As the English writer Oscar Wilde said, "If a man's love is not single-minded, then he will be happy with any woman." ”
For cheating men, their love is never single-minded, they only seek novelty and excitement.
Therefore, after cheating, they do not feel guilt and self-blame, but only indulge in short-term pleasures.
They will not be grateful to their wives for their dedication and management of the family, and will only take these things for granted.
They will not think from the perspective of their wives, they will only blindly pursue their own selfish desires. This kind of selfish thinking makes them hurt their wives and families even more unscrupulously.
When women find out that a man is cheating, they feel pain and helplessness. They will be caught in a dilemma, not knowing whether to forgive or leave.
Men, however, don't have the slightest compassion, they just think about how to continue to pursue their own desires. This indifferent attitude makes it more difficult for women to choose.
Women often feel helpless and lost when faced with a man's cheating.
They don't know how to face this harsh reality or how to protect themselves and their families.
However, no matter what choice women make, they should remember: cheating men do not deserve forgiveness and nostalgia.
They have long forgotten the responsibilities and commitments of marriage, and only think about how to satisfy their own selfish desires. Such men are not worth it for women to pay anything for them.
Therefore, when a woman faces a man's cheating, she should bravely stand up and defend her dignity and rights.
They can choose to leave this betrayed family and find their own happiness; There is also the option to forgive the man and start a new life.
But no matter how you choose, you should remember: a cheating man is not worthy of forgiveness and nostalgia. Only by being brave enough to face reality and making the right choices can you regain your happiness and dignity.