The child was diagnosed with depression at the age of 10 and is still afraid of exams after returning to school, what can parents do to speed up the recovery?

Sunny day psychology He Rihui

2024-05-15 09:46Posted in Guangdong Psychiatrist

Yesterday, we shared a self-report article by a patient's father. This father is a reader of our official account, and his son developed emotional numbness, mood swings, and even hallucinations when he was in the fourth grade of primary school, and was diagnosed with depression at the time of consultation, and the doctor prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics.

It was a bolt from the blue! This father was hit by a huge blow! Because his mother, the child's grandmother, is a depressed patient, and the history of the disease has been for 30 years, and he has not recovered, he knows that this disease is terrible!

Moreover, his son's recovery after taking the medicine is not ideal, he still locks himself in his room, secretly self-harms, sometimes depressed and depressed, does not want to move, and sometimes has too much energy to sit still. The father suspected that his son had bipolar disorder and rapid cycling.

For his son, psychiatric medication and traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) treatment have had some effect, but neither is ideal. The father kept looking up information on the Internet to find other more effective methods.

By chance, he came across our articles and videos. Through real clinical cases, he realized the real root cause of his son's illness:

He and his wife love their children very much, but they inadvertently adopt improper education methods, which cause a lot of superimposed psychological trauma to the children; They are also superstitious that "good children are praised", and repeatedly praise children excessively, causing children to pay too much attention to the results and easily lose confidence when encountering setbacks.

The father remembered many of the superimposed psychological trauma his children suffered, and he regretted it very much. He and his wife consciously began to self-reflect, change and improve, actively improve the family environment, learn to empathize, listen and actively guide the child, and repair the psychological trauma behind the child's illness little by little.

After the parents made the change, the child improved significantly, and his mood basically stabilized, from the beginning he was completely unable to go to school, unable to study, and did not write homework, to now only need to take 1 day off a week, and he is willing to write some homework. However, the child still has obvious learning disabilities, especially fear of exams.

This father has never taken his children to us for offline consultation, online consultation, and has not received clinical precision psychological intervention. He and his wife actively learn accurate psychiatric psychology knowledge, arm their brains with efficient knowledge, continue to self-reflect, change and improve, and help children significantly speed up their recovery, which is really commendable! Impressive!

This is what we have repeatedly emphasized: parents can improve parent-child and family relationships and carry out effective "self-family therapy", which is no less effective than psychiatric medication and general psychological counseling/psychotherapy, if not better!

Here, I would like to thank this father for his selfless sharing, so that more parents of patients can get useful inspiration.

In today's article, we want to analyze his son's diagnosis (is it depression or bipolar disorder?) based on the father's description. ), the real cause, and what he and his wife can do to help their children recover more quickly, especially the learning disability that they are very concerned about.

This image is AI-generated

01. The father used efficient knowledge to help his depressed son successfully return to school

The father's son had a marked and persistent depressed mood, loss of energy, lack of interest, and had also self-harmed and self-isolated, which was a marked depressive episode. He also had auditory hallucinations, which are psychotic symptoms and is sometimes sensitive and suspicious.

But he sometimes seems energetic, doesn't want to sleep, can't sit still, and wants to go out, could it be a hypomanic/manic episode?

According to his father's account, if the side effects of the medication can be ruled out (akathisia may be a side effect of psychiatric drugs), it is likely that these symptoms are due to irritability, anxiety, or the ability to release some stress when playing games, and the mood is better. Moreover, when this child became ill, it happened to be during the epidemic lockdown period, and he was so depressed at home that it was understandable that he wanted to go out and relax.

The true typical hypomanic/manic episode is very happy, happy, and even excited, and the patient feels good about himself, and even has a sense of arrogance and conceit. Of course, the definition of hypomania/mania is still controversial in psychiatric clinical practice. Some doctors believe that irritability, tantrums, and smashing and destroying objects are also hypomanic/manic episodes, and then diagnose the patient with bipolar disorder. We disagree with that.

But apparently, at least from the description of this father, he did not have a child in either of the above cases.

Therefore, from the perspective of mainstream psychiatry, a more appropriate diagnosis for this child is depression with psychotic symptoms, paranoid personality tendencies, and severe learning disabilities.

In other words, the diagnosis made by the psychiatrist at the beginning of the child was relatively accurate, and the medication was also based on the idea of "depression with psychotic symptoms".

From the perspective of precise psychopsychology, this child is very consistent with the etiological diagnosis of post-traumatic stress response disorder (PTSRD). In his autobiography, his father listed a lot of superimposed psychological trauma that they could remember.

The father said that when his child was tired of school and was diagnosed with "depression", it was like a bolt from the blue for him! He immediately thought of his grandmother, who also suffered from depression.

It is possible that at that time, he thought of the "genetic factor" and once suspected that his mother's "disease-causing gene" was passed on to his son through himself.

If the mainstream psychiatrist knew that the child's grandmother was a depressed patient, they would also think that the child had a "family history", saying that the main cause of the disease was caused by genetics, and the grandmother passed it on to the child through "intergenerational inheritance", and the child was born a susceptible group to depression.

If patients and their families hold this awareness, their feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness will be very strong. Because genetic inheritance is difficult to modify, no matter how hard they try, they can't change the genes, at most they can only control the disease with the help of some medical means.

However, we have repeatedly stressed that the main cause of depression, bipolar disorder, and even schizophrenia is not the so-called "genetic factor", not the cause of genes, nor biological factors such as abnormal neurotransmitter concentrations in the brain. Rather, it is an acquired psychosocial factor, which is the pathological memory formed after birth.

Even if there is a certain influence of genetic factors, it is not the "genetic inheritance" that the public understands, "dragons give birth to dragons and phoenixes, and the children of mice will make holes", but the acquired "epigenetic factors" that can be reversible.

If patients and their families are deeply aware of this, their feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness will be greatly reduced, and they will be free from fear.

This is the case with this father, who wrote his own account. When he realizes that his child's depression is actually caused by an acquired experience through reading our article, he will have a sense of certainty - "I can change the way I treat my child through hard work, and then combine it with other treatments, so that my child can gradually recover."

This kind of cognition is derived from arming one's brain with efficient knowledge, which is very important, so that parents can consciously exert their subjective initiative, quickly think of ways and take action, and are more likely to help their children recover faster.

02. Children suffer from depression at the age of 10, and the root cause is a large number of superimposed psychological trauma

Why did this father's child get depression? In yesterday's self-readme, he has shared a very detailed analysis and self-reflection.

It should be said that his self-reflection is still in place. Although there must be many pathological memories that cause the child's illness, and some children and parents can't remember or realize it, it is really rare for the father to be able to consciously recall and remember many details.

Below, we will briefly sort out again based on the father's recollections.

In general, when we analyze the main causes of adolescent patients, we tend to divide them into three parts: the negative impact of the family of origin, the impact of school or school experience, and the influence of society (including the Internet).

The child was in the fourth grade of primary school at the time of the onset of the disease, and had relatively little social experience outside of home and school. Therefore, we mainly analyzed the negative impact he received from his family of origin, and we speculated about what negative influences he may have experienced in his interpersonal relationships at school based on clinical experience.

First, after his parents entered the marriage hall, the two once had different views and had frequent conflicts. They also lack awareness and quarrel in front of children, yelling hysterically.

In fact, this situation is very common in many families. Especially when the child is still very young, parents do not pay attention to controlling their emotions and behaviors in front of the child, thinking that the child is still young, does not understand anything, and will not remember it in the future.

In fact, the scenes and images of parents arguing and even fighting can easily cause a lot of superimposed psychological trauma to children, causing them to be sensitive, timid, prone to nervousness, fear, and paranoid personality tendencies.

Second, this father used to love to drink, and he also liked to tease his children in ways that his children didn't like, and sometimes the two were combined, and he was drunk, and he couldn't help but tease his children when he came home, and he once vomited in the living room and toilet. This is all in the eyes of the child.

When I saw this, I immediately thought of Wei Tao, a patient who had undergone clinical precision psychological intervention.

Wei Tao's father was also very fond of drinking at one time, and often got drunk and made the family into a miasma. Wei Tao's mother was very angry and quarreled with her husband, accusing him of not caring for his body, saying that if he drank alcohol and went to the ICU one day, she would not care about him!

Wei Tao has seen such a scene many times since he was a child, and he is very disgusted by his father's behavior. But he was very worried that his father would really have an accident and the family would lose its breadwinner.

His implicit memory level also formed a picture in which his father was admitted to the ICU because of excessive drinking and alcohol poisoning, with tubes inserted all over his body, but no one around him to take care of him. This scene did not actually happen, and he did not tell his parents.

But this image repeatedly appeared in his mind, which made him particularly frightened and insecure, especially worried about his father's accident. This was one of the psychological causes of his later anxiety, fear, and bipolar disorder.

After Wei Tao fell ill, his father was also devastated. He read a lot of our articles and realized that he needed to reflect on his homeschooling style, but he was confused, "What the hell should I reflect on?" I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, and I didn't scold the child! ”

Later, I told him the picture of Wei Tao's implicit memory, and he suddenly realized that his love of drinking had caused so much psychological damage to his son! He decided to quit drinking, and under my guidance, he learned to be considerate and tolerant of his wife and son, and his image at home changed 180 degrees.

Therefore, if the father inadvertently appears in front of the child as a "drunkard", the child will be very resistant in his heart, and it is easy to form superimposed psychological trauma. This can also easily lead to conflicts between husband and wife and family conflicts, which will cause children to be more inclined to recognize their mothers and even want to protect their mothers. This naturally makes it easier for children to believe their mother's words, and if in family conflicts, children feel that their mother is being bullied and they are powerless to protect themselves, and they will naturally be prone to a sense of powerlessness and guilt.

There are many fathers who love to drink in society, and I hope they will realize this problem sooner.

Third, this father's education method used to be simple and crude, but he didn't realize it before.

For example, he once locked the child in a "small black room" as a punishment, hoping that the child would have a long memory. His intentions were good, but his methods were not right.

Actually, I've made similar mistakes before. At that time, I was still the director of the psychology department and the subject leader of the Guangdong General Hospital of the Armed Police Force, and I had just started to study psychology not long ago. At that time, I was very much in favor of "behaviorism", which believed that good behaviors should be rewarded in a timely manner, and bad behaviors should be severely punished; It is necessary to combine rewards and punishments to help children shape good behavior habits.

There was a time when my niece was staying at my house, and she was only 3 years old at the time and she was very cute. But children are inevitably mischievous, and once she made a mistake, and I locked her in a "little black room". Actually, the room wasn't dark, of course, it was just how I felt as an adult.

As a result, this experience caused a lot of psychological damage to my niece, and she never wanted to come to Guangzhou again. When she was 18 years old, I apologized to her very sincerely, and she was still very uncomfortable remembering it, with tears in her eyes. As you can imagine, even though my inappropriate education method at that time was only once, it had already caused great psychological trauma to her.

Another example is that when the father was playing tricks on the child, he said "I don't want you anymore" in a fit of anger, and really hid with his wife in a place where the child could not see, pretending to really abandon him.

We can understand his anger at the time and want to teach the child a lesson, but this way is really very unscientific. In those few minutes, or even ten minutes, his child would be very helpless.

If he thinks that his parents have really abandoned him, he will fall into fear and anxiety, if this kind of trauma often occurs in life, the child is easy to misunderstand, feel that his parents do not love him, he is not worthy of love, the child is easy to turn his emotional appeal to the outside world, it is easy to appear marginal personality, and it is easy to become a "heavy love brain", in love moths to the fire. If he knew that his parents were just pretending not to want him, then he would also feel very disappointed and feel that he was so sad, but his parents didn't understand it at all and scared him.

Also, his son didn't finish his homework during the summer vacation of first grade, and he was so angry that he tore up his child's homework book. It's also very irrational.

In fact, this is what many parents do when they are emotional, "Since you don't study hard, then don't study!" Don't hand in your homework! Let the teacher teach you a hard lesson! As he spoke, he tore the child's homework to shreds.

In fact, if a child has learning problems, parents should first find out where the real cause is, and realize that the child is likely to have a certain learning disability.

Parents should take the three steps of benign communication - empathize with their children, listen to them, and actively guide them to overcome the challenges they encounter in learning in a scientific and acceptable way. Parents tearing up homework in anger often only leads to children being more resistant to and averse to learning, and the risk of mental and psychological disorders is also higher.

Of course, the child's mother also made a lot of mistakes in family education. She repeatedly blamed her husband with emotion in front of her children. Her husband lacked companionship for the child, and the parent-child relationship between father and son was a little estranged, and when the son heard his mother say this, he didn't like his father even more.

In the same way, some men are self-righteous at home and always scold their wives in front of their children, which is also very unscientific. If children approve of their father, they will become disgusted with their mother; But if the children are actually closer to their mothers, they will resist their fathers, believing that what they say is not right. Therefore, even if husband and wife think that each other has shortcomings and shortcomings, do not blame and belittle each other in front of their children.

Also, the child's mother had hypoglycemic episodes and fainted twice in front of the child. Of course, she didn't mean it, but she could consciously prevent it.

In the minds of children, motherhood is very important. If they witness their mother fainting uncontrollably many times, they will panic in their hearts, feel that their mother can't protect them, and even think that they have to protect their mother. But they are too young to really protect their mothers, which can lead to a lot of psychological stress on them.

The father said that his child had experienced a lot of stressful events before the onset of the disease.

Including watching fireworks during the eleventh day, there was a conflict between father and son because of the location of the fireworks, and the father not only did not understand the starting point of the child, but also accused the child of being "selfish" from a moral point of view.

Soon after, one of the child's parrots died, and the child cried breathlessly, but the mother not only did not comfort her, but also blamed the child for not feeding the pet properly. In fact, the child's affection for pets is so deep, which also reflects that he is very lonely in his heart.

Then, his father asked him to sleep in a separate room with the adults. On the surface, the father's request is not excessive, and many 10-year-olds are already able to sleep alone. However, due to the fact that the child has suffered a lot of superimposed psychological trauma, he does not have enough sense of security and self-confidence, so it is not suitable to force him to sleep by himself.

However, the child did not dare to complain, because he was afraid that his parents would quarrel again (which shows how negatively the parents' quarrel in front of the child had a negative impact on him), so he had to endure it in silence. He suffered from insomnia at night, had to take online classes during the day, and the epidemic control was depressing, and he stayed at home every day, lacking active channels for relaxation, and finally had a nervous breakdown.

The child's course of onset, and this experience in particular, is a very specific illustration of what is called "superimposed psychological trauma" and "the last straw that broke the camel's back." He constantly suffered from negative stress events, activated old psychological trauma, formed new psychological trauma, and finally changed quantitatively to qualitatively, and depression appeared.

Many parents say that today's children are really fragile and can't be criticized at all, because they are depressed because of a little thing, such as jumping off a building if their parents don't play with their mobile phones. In fact, it is not one thing that causes the child's mental breakdown, but a lot of psychological trauma has been superimposed on the front. I hope that parents and the general public will be aware of this.

In general, the father's child was only 10 years old and developed obvious mental and psychological symptoms, which is relatively early in clinical practice. This shows that he has suffered a lot of superimposed psychological trauma since he was a child, and there has been a change from quantitative to qualitative change more quickly.

Children with this kind of upbringing tend to lack self-confidence in school, relationships, and may even have a people-pleasing personality.

Because their parents can't really get into their hearts, they turn their emotional needs to the outside world, and they are eager to be recognized by teachers and classmates. Because of this mentality, they will be very sensitive and very concerned about what others think. Criticism from teachers, or ridicule or ridicule by classmates, intentionally or unintentionally, may cause superimposed psychological trauma to them.

The father also consciously reflected on their "excessive praise" of their children, always praising their children as "you are great" and "you are smart", rather than acknowledging the efforts made by the children.

Their intentions are good, and they originally wanted to abandon the traditional stick-style and negative family education method and replace it with a scientific method. But at that time, they failed to grasp the real scientific family education method, and mistakenly thought that "good children are boasted", which led to the lack of confidence in their own abilities and weak anti-quotient.

Many parents make mistakes like this. They excessively advocate the so-called "happy education" and "boastful education", thinking that this can make children grow up happily and healthily. It backfired. Subsequently, we combined with real clinical precision psychological intervention cases to deeply analyze this type of family education error.

03. Parents can further accelerate their recovery if they do these 3 points

It should be said that the father's son was in a more serious condition at that time. When he took the child to the provincial mental health center to see a specialist, the expert recommended that the child be hospitalized, which showed that the child did have certain indications for hospitalization.

However, if the parents already know how to carry out effective "self-family therapy" by then, and the child's self-awareness is relatively complete, and there is no high risk of harming themselves or others, it is indeed not necessary to be hospitalized. As far as this child is concerned, I think the father's decision is more rational.

However, I hope that the father does not blame the doctor. That's how most of the mainstream psychiatrists work, not for a single child, but for every patient. They have a lot of sick numbers every day and a lot of workload, and it is really difficult to take care of the feelings of every patient.

Now, the father's child has improved significantly, but he still has problems such as lack of concentration, lack of persistence, poor memory, fear of exams, etc., and has not been able to reduce or stop the drug, what else do he and his wife need to do next to further help the child speed up recovery?

First, parents should continue to learn the knowledge of precise spiritual psychology and continue to deeply reflect on themselves.

For example, according to the child's father's account, before the child's illness, the father actually had certain paranoid personality changes, and may even have reached the level of paranoid personality disorder. He was self-righteous and stubborn in family life, and his communication with his wife and children was simple and rude, which caused a lot of superimposed psychological trauma to his wife and children.

However, he loves children very much, so when the child is sick, the effect of psychiatric drugs and traditional Chinese medicine drugs is not ideal, he is very helpless, and he accidentally saw our article, he has to reflect on his own problems.

To put it more bluntly, before the child's illness, this father was the "bear" of the family. His wife felt that he was sometimes unreasonable and did not care about the children, and the two were always arguing; The child has no feeling for him, and even resents him, and feels that his father is very fierce to him.

But after the child's illness, the father took the lead in deep self-reflection and led his wife to make changes together. He has become sensible and wise, and may later become deeply aware of why his mother suffers from depression and understand some of his mother's past practices.

He was more tolerant and understanding of his son, wife and mother, and the atmosphere of the whole family changed. It can be said that this father has gone from a "bear" to a "hero" in the family!

In addition to this, the mother of the child should also continue to reflect on herself. Not only should she not complain and blame her husband in front of her children, but she should also recognize her husband's merits and dedication in front of her children. She wants her children to realize that it is rare for their fathers to change positively, and to realize that parents love them very much, but they did not do it in the right way before.

It is indeed unfortunate that their child suffers from depression at such a young age. But on the positive side, it also allows problems in the family system to be exposed earlier, and parents can self-reflect earlier, sincerely apologize to their children, and continue to change to turn bad things into good things.

Second, parents continue to use the knowledge of precise psychiatric psychology to identify some of their children's "trauma points" and repair them in a targeted manner.

For example, according to the father, his child had a picture in his mind of him standing alone under a large tree with other children playing happily next to him, but he was alone, out of place, or even as if he had been abandoned.

From the point of view of precise psychiatry, this picture, or something like that, may have happened, where another child is playing, but he has no playmates, and he feels very lonely. But it is possible that a similar situation has not happened in real life, this is just a picture in his implicit memory, this kind of picture does not appear when he is happy, and a similar picture appears when the child has obvious negative emotions.

Whether or not this scenario has happened, this is not the most important thing. Most importantly, behind this image is loneliness, and behind the loneliness there must be related superimposed psychological traumatic events.

Therefore, parents should first reflect on whether they have made mistakes unintentionally and made their children feel lonely, and if so, parents should sincerely apologize, deeply self-reflect, change and improve, so as to avoid unintentionally making children feel lonely.

Parents can also have an in-depth conversation with their child at the right time to find out if he has felt lonely or excluded from his relationship with friends, classmates or playmates. If so, parents should find ways to guide their children to be rational, such as improving their social skills or finding like-minded partners in other areas. Of course, the most important foundation is that parents should go into the hearts of their children and avoid their children from being too involved in interpersonal relationships in the unexpected world.

Third, for the child's current obvious learning disabilities, such as still need to take 1 day off a week, fear of exams, unable to complete all homework, etc., parents should take a long-term view with their children, and the recovery of learning status needs a process.

We have analyzed in detail in the article column of "Learning Disabilities" that this is not a problem with the child's genetics or intelligence, but a child's repeated encounters with superimposed psychological trauma in learning situations and learning behaviors, which leads to anxiety, irritability, and even fear as soon as they learn, and then low learning efficiency.

The father can continue to work with his wife and children, and repeatedly combine positive and happy emotional experiences with learning situations, so that the child's mood before and during learning is relatively happy and relaxed.

For this child, the difficulty of learning should also be moderate, it is relatively easy to do, or it is possible to achieve it with some effort, which is more likely to bring a certain sense of achievement, and it does not have to be completely in accordance with the pace and difficulty of the school. After learning, parents should give their children concrete affirmation in time and guide their children to self-affirm. Parents and children can also learn about some effective study techniques and knowledge, such as the "Feynman Method" and the "Pomodoro Method" and so on.

In addition to this, the psychiatric medication currently being taken by the child is likely to have some side effects, such as memory and concentration loss. But this is temporary. As the child's mood continues to remain stable, and the sense of security and self-confidence gradually returns, the doctor will gradually reduce the dosage of the drug, or even stop the drug, and the problem of side effects will be solved.

From the point of view of the learning stage, it is not entirely a bad thing that this child is exposed to mental and psychological problems in elementary school. Because the knowledge of primary school is still relatively simple and basic, when the child's learning status and learning motivation gradually improve, parents can find suitable tutoring resources to check and fill in the gaps, in fact, they can quickly keep up with the progress of the school without being too anxious. For more advice on how to alleviate learning disabilities, you can also check out the related columns.

In fact, the father and his wife have done quite well, and the child is now on the road to recovery, but it will take some time, but the direction is right, slow is fast. I hope that they will continue to work in the right direction, let the children further return to the growth track, and even guide the children to have a "survivor mentality" and a high adversity quotient, seek the realization of self-worth inwardly, and do not care too much about the evaluation of others.

04. Parents must not step on these three so-called "science education" pits

In addition to some targeted advice for the father, here are some tips for parents.

Nowadays, many parents have the awareness of scientific parenting and take the initiative to learn some psychology or family education knowledge. This is a very good phenomenon and the progress of the times. However, in this process, parents should consciously see the pros and cons of each school of psychology, think independently and rationally, and do not follow the crowd.

For example, for the psychoanalytic school, we have repeatedly emphasized that it is not suitable for children, adolescents and families in China, and it is also very inefficient in solving mental and psychological problems, and it is easy for children to irrationally blame all the blame on their parents and family of origin.

However, there are many psychiatric practitioners in China who are psychoanalysts. If parents find that some psychologists, experts and professors use the words "id, ego, superego", "control" and "attack" to analyze problems, they often use the psychoanalytic school.

Parents should also not only use behaviorism or behavior therapy, which is easy to see only superficial behavior changes and ignore the child's inner feelings and psychological root problems.

For example, as I mentioned above, I also over-promoted behaviorism and took inappropriate punishments against my niece, which caused her to form a lot of psychological trauma.

Another example is the father mentioned above in his own statement that he and his wife used to praise their son excessively, causing him to attach too much importance to the result; If you find that the results are not satisfactory, you are prone to self-abandonment, self-denial, and think that you are not smart. If he thinks that "smart or not" is innate, and cannot be changed, he is prone to "learned helplessness", falls into despair, and gives up his efforts.

"Learned helplessness" is a concept in behaviorism, which refers to a state of mind in which people experience the situation of "no matter how hard I try, I can't change the outcome of things", and finally give up the effort, or even think that they are incorrigible.

In this case, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can play a role, making the individual realize that it is not that no matter how hard they try, it is useless, but that they have previously lacked the right methods, attitudes, and some objective conditions.

However, the deeper root cause of "learned helplessness" is superimposed psychological trauma, especially strong negative emotions, such as anxiety and fear. If there is a lot of psychological trauma and negative emotions are very strong, CBT will not have a good effect. They understand reasoning, but they just can't take that step.

For example, a real case in clinical precision psychological intervention, Yihao, he has suffered a lot of superimposed psychological trauma, and his parents do not know how to actively guide him, and he has tried to solve problems by himself when he encounters them, but always ends in failure.

Over time, he thought that he was particularly unlucky, that bad things would always happen to him, and that it was useless to try. He complains instead of taking action to solve problems. From a behaviorist point of view, this is a form of "learned helplessness."

We have analyzed this problem with Yihao. He also knows that his cognition is biased, and he realizes that he must learn to comprehensively attribution, face difficulties positively, think of more ways or ask others, and don't always think that he is a "victim" or even lie flat.

But soon, he had a "victim mentality" because he didn't order takeout smoothly and lost his ID card when he took the high-speed train, resenting God's injustice and mood swings.

Later, we used clinical precision psychological intervention technology to enter his implicit memory level, found the six psychological traumatic events behind it, and repaired them efficiently and accurately, and this problem was finally solved.

Therefore, if parents find that their children have so-called "learned helplessness", weak mobility, and difficulty in combining knowledge and action, parents should see their children's negative emotions and psychological trauma, understand their feelings, and try their best to gradually repair them in the daily family atmosphere, instead of repeatedly telling their children big truths and urging them to make changes.

Parents should be more wary of some behaviorist extreme treatment methods, such as Yang Yongxin's "electric shock therapy" and "violent correction" like Yuzhang Academy. These are not treatments, but the use of violence to make the child fearful and succumb, the child's behavior is changing rapidly, but the heart is greatly traumatized!

Finally, I hope that parents will realize that if they want their children to become adults, the most important thing to pay attention to is not the child's academic performance, but the child's reverse quotient, and stop blindly "chicken baby".

Even if the "chicken" produces a baby with bright grades and resumes, if they have serious mental and psychological problems like Chen Liren and Wu Xieyu, or the so-called "hollow heart disease", their parents will regret it!

Moreover, parents should improve their cognitive level, understand the development trend of society, guide their children to have interdisciplinary awareness and ability, make rational choices when choosing majors and employment, and realize greater social value.

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