Parents who have boys in their families have a distinct feeling that boys are extremely calm most of the time, and even they rarely communicate with their parents, often immersed in their own world, silently enduring the various emotions imposed on them by the outside world.
But it is such a boy who is extremely calm most of the time, at a certain moment, he will suddenly explode and show extremely strong emotional reactions. At this time, they will also have some extreme behaviors, such as anger, such as running away from home, such as violent tendencies, which is also a very difficult problem for many parents to deal with when facing boys.
So why do boys do this? Why do they show two diametrically opposed states? In fact, it has something to do with the social norms that our society as a whole has towards men. The whole society requires men to be strong, to be temperamental, and to have a manly spirit.
And under such a requirement, gentleness, showing weakness, and other emotional release behaviors will be ignored, and they will be eliminated from the boy's growth path. And boys who grow up under such unilateral requirements will inevitably have some inner incompleteness, and of course they will also show a character that is prone to anger.
David Thomas is a psychologist with over 30 years of experience in counseling boys with mental and emotional problems, and he is also a best-selling author. Therefore, he also shared his experience in dealing with boys' emotional problems in these aspects, and he also has such a book "Angry Boys: Deliberately Practicing Taking Children Out of Emotional Difficulties".
The author clearly tells us that on the road of boys' growth, we should continue to exercise their ability to control their emotions, so that they can recognize, regulate and repair their various emotions, so that their growth process can be more complete, so that they will not be swayed by emotions.
Regarding the irritability of boys, the author gives us a very clear explanation of the phenomenon of "boiling water". When we boil water and continue to add water to the pot, what kind of state will it show when the water boils? I believe that many people will have the corresponding experience, after the full pot of water is boiled, it will inevitably be accompanied by hot water splashing, this is an extremely dangerous scene, it is easy to hurt themselves, hurt others, this is the typical performance of the boy's sudden emotional outburst.
If we keep the kettle only half full, if we learn to dispose of the new water in the kettle in time, then it will not have much impact when it is boiled.
The same is true for emotions, we can't wait for the sudden outburst when the emotion reaches its peak, we should skillfully dissolve all kinds of negative emotions in our lives, and even if an event ignites the emotion, it will be much less powerful.
So how exactly can you help a boy get out of an emotional predicament? There are a lot of effective ways to do it in this book. For example, correctly identifying emotions, naming emotions, combating breathing, using writing to organize emotions, and so on. Moreover, the author also provides parents with a lot of suggestions that can be used for reference, giving children how to use friends, how to use emotional mentors, how to transfer emotions, and so on, which can help children get out of emotional difficulties and move towards a better growth path.
And this book also comes with a "Boy Workbook Who Is Not Angry", and the author uses his own growth experience as a template to share a lot of his own experience. These experiences can be directly operated and can help children learn to regulate their emotions through practice. Then let our children practice accordingly and repeat this process over and over again, so that they can learn to control their emotions correctly and they will be able to take control of their lives.
If there are parents of boys at home, what is said in such a book must be understood on the road of children's growth, so parents will take this book home and use the suggestions in this book to escort the boy's growth, instead of waiting for them to find corresponding solutions when they have some emotional problems. In the face of boys' emotional problems, taking precautions is the best solution. #养育男孩##男孩##养育#