Source: Qianjiang Evening News
One day in mid-August, at the Mental Health Center affiliated to Zhejiang University School of Medicine (Hangzhou Seventh People's Hospital), the number of outpatient visits for adolescents with Internet addiction once again set a new record for outpatient clinics. From 7:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m., because of the plus, Pan Shengming, director of the Material Dependence Department, received 70 patients, including 15 teenagers who were addicted to online games.
Through that sad and helpless face, Pan Shengming clearly saw that behind the children's addiction to online games, most of them were disharmonious families, huge pressures, and lost interpersonal relationships... "Children want to escape from reality in the virtual world, but they choose the wrong method, and parents also ignore the real incentives behind them." ”
Life is filled with negative voices
But it is praised in the game world
Mental Health Center Affiliated to Zhejiang University School of Medicine (Hangzhou Seventh People's Hospital)
At the end of July, a mother dragged her son from Taizhou into Pan Shengming's clinic. This is a fat boy weighing 170 pounds, 18 years old, but he has not yet finished his sophomore year of high school, because he has been playing games day and night for a long time.
The boy Yang Guang was admitted to the hospital. On the first day, Yang Guang lay in bed day and night to play games, only slept for a while when he was tired, and lay down to eat fast food when he was hungry; two or three days later, Yang Guang listened to Pan Shengming's words, and his posture of playing games changed from lying down to sitting; after a few days, Yang Guang began to adjust his work and rest, play games during the day, and sleep at night; later, every time Yang Guang played a game for an hour and a half, he would stop resting and also began to walk around in the ward...
Pan Shengming saw Yang Guang's little changes in his eyes and told his mother happily, but he still could not let the child get the encouragement from the parents, "The parents can't see his changes, they can only see the children still playing games, and they blindly blame." Even if they praise, they are very perfunctory. ”
"That's the real world this kid is facing — he can't get his identity." Pan Shengming said. Since his parents were doing business in other provinces, Yang Guang lived with his grandparents all year round. Yang Guang, who does not like sports, grows fatter and fatter, and is ridiculed by his classmates at school and cannot find friends. Yang Guang's grades are not good, whether at school or at home, he rarely hears words of praise.
When life is filled with negative voices, Yang Guang hides in the game world , where he is praised and has countless netizens. Every small progress yang guang made, even if he only crossed a level, he could always get timely rewards. That satisfaction and happiness was like a gentle rope, holding the boy firmly, and Yang Guang became more and more addicted to it.
"Most of us play games and can move between the real and virtual worlds, but why can't some children? Is the virtual world so attractive to them because there is something missing from the real world? Pan Shengming said that sometimes, children's addiction to games is just an expression of their way of expressing the stress and pain they can't cope with.
In Pan Shengming's clinic, Internet addicts are concentrated in 13 to 18 years old, and the largest proportion is high school students, because they tend to be under greater pressure.
Not long ago, Wang Hui, a prospective high school student, was also sent to the material dependence department by his parents. He is a typical well-behaved boy, who studied hard from elementary school to junior high school and ranked among the best. In this year's middle school examination, due to the poor state, Wang Hui did not play well and was not admitted to the heavy high school headquarters, and his parents were very disappointed with this result.
During the summer vacation, Wang Hui has been playing games. In the placement test before the start of the school year, Wang Hui ranked in the top 30 of the grade, but parents believe that the level of their children should at least always remain in the top 15.
"Parents feel that playing games harms their children, but the real trigger for this child is depression caused by stress." Pan Shengming said.
Wang Hui's parents are not low in cultural level, full of expectations for their sons, and their words often put on their lips are, "You must maintain good grades" and "You should stabilize the first and second.".
"No one is a winning general, and it's not easy for this child to maintain such results, but parents think their children should be so good." Pan Shengming analyzed that Wang Hui has been under chronic pressure, accumulating depression over time, "Before the middle school entrance examination, facing another big mountain, he released pressure by playing games; during the summer vacation, he was also escaping from reality in this way..."
Teens addicted to the game behind
There may be a "dysfunctional" family
Crying parents, indifferent children, looking at the two sides of the very different expressions, sometimes, Pan Shengming but trance feels that it is not the child who needs to receive psychological counseling first, but the parents who are anxiously accusing everything at the moment and hating online games to the bone.
Behind the appearance of teenagers addicted to the Internet, Pan Shengming often witnesses "dysfunctional" families: there are quarrelsome and deformed couples; there are single parents with missing roles; there are parents who are busy all day and ignore their children...
Xiaoyu is a quiet girl, she is 14 years old, is in the second year of junior high school. Introverted, she only has one good friend, but because of a small matter, her friend misunderstands her. Xiao Yu lost the only girlfriend she cherished at school.
Sullen and unhappy Xiaoyu told her mother what had happened to her, but her mother, who was busy playing mahjong, only showed puzzlement, "Don't care about such a small matter." Xiao Yu wanted to tell his father that his father, who ran a small shop, was busier than his mother and could hardly see each other for a day. In order to escape the pain of nowhere to release, Xiaoyu began to play games, and as new friends continued to appear in the game world, she hid in the game for longer and longer.
The factors that precipitate Internet addiction are often complex and diverse. "Most of the time, children also have personality problems, such as introversion, impulsiveness, nervousness, and poor emotional regulation ability." Pan Shengming said that in the Eisenk personality test, Xiaoyu's score was more than 20 points higher than that of normal people. This means that Xiao Yu's mood is extremely volatile.
However, when Pan Shengming pieced together this individual incident, a more sobering fact began to emerge - among the many factors that determine whether a child will become an Internet addict, family issues should often be the first to be concerned.
"For Xiao Yu, losing a girlfriend may be a big deal." At this time, even if her parents can't help her solve the problem, they can help her analyze the problem, accompany her, and make positive guidance. Pan Shengming sighed and said that at that juncture, if someone calmly told her what a friend was and what to do when she lost a friend for a short time, the girl might not seek online games to relieve her inner pain.
Sometimes, Pan Shengming's role is more like a microphone, helping parents decipher the voice of their children's behavior patterns - our family is in trouble. Unfortunately, few parents are willing to listen to these words patiently, and sometimes, once parents make a change, it is a panacea for children who are addicted to the Internet.
Hospitalized for more than ten days, Li Li, a first-year high school student, held an iPad every day and lived a life of day and night upside down. During this period, Pan Shengming tried many methods, but he could not open Li Li's heart, until later, she and Li Li's mother chatted once. Subsequently, a few words from her mother made Li Li regain her joy and successfully discharged from the hospital.
Before that, Li Li's mother had not accompanied her daughter to the hospital once, from consultation to admission, Pan Shengming had only seen the girl's father. The middle-aged man was originally a middle-level leader of a state-owned enterprise, and after several years of hard work, most of the people of the same class were promoted, while the girl's father always stood still, had no intention of promotion, and buried his head in stock speculation, resulting in serious losses. Li Li's mother is a senior executive, a strong woman in the workplace, and her husband's behavior has disappointed her, and she has projected strict requirements for herself onto her daughter.
Li Li likes to draw, but her mother insists on letting her daughter study well. Li Li did not listen, but pounced on the iPad all day, either drawing or playing games. The parents broke out another round of quarrels, and even caused a divorce. Li Li played the game even harder, and in early August, her father reluctantly sent her to the hospital.
Li Li resisted the conversation, and in the hospital room, she ate only one meal a day, and the rest of the time she only stared at the iPad in her hand. Day after day, Pan Gradually discovered that this girl was not really an Internet addict," she said of her family, 'We are three strangers.'" Pan Shengming analyzed that the child did not want to let the parents divorce, it is precisely to let the family embark on a normal track, the child is "sick", she wants to be this victim.
"Only you can help your daughter." Pan Shengming told the other party about Li Li's mother, who was busy with work, to the consultation room. When she was discharged from the hospital, Li Li only made two requests to her mother - "take a break from school, and leave the iPad for me." Mother agreed. Pan Shengming said that the iPad has become a safe island and a protective god-like existence in the child's psychology.
The most effective preventive measures
Provide a good environment for children to grow up
When many precipitating factors prompt children to open the door to the game world, like Pandora's box quietly opened, online games make the dopamine secretion in the human brain increase rapidly and significantly.
"This pathological dopamine secretion also blocks the way to recycling and reuse, breaking the original reward mechanism of the human brain." Pan Shengming explained that once he leaves the game and people do not feel happy, he will intensify his demands, which is the "tolerance" of online games.
Therefore, even if an Internet addict is treated and temporarily returns to normal work and rest, once the precipitating factors appear in later life, he may still fall into this behavior pattern again, and it is difficult to get rid of the cycle.
In July, college entrance exam student Liu Xiang once got rid of his dependence on online games, and he carefully prepared for the "Trinity" selection of a key university, using his spare time to draw, keep pets, exercise, and only occasionally watch a few hours of live games.
Before Liu Xiang was a student of a key high school, usually excellent results, but from the second year of high school, he was criticized by his mother to poke the sore spot because of a certain exam, and once he could not face it and gave up his studies, hiding all night to play games. Later, after psychological counseling and physical therapy, Liu Xiang's state improved, returned to study, took the college entrance examination, and his parents gradually calmed down.
But after a month, Liu Xiang was sent to the hospital again. This time, his parents found that he not only regained the game, but also secretly recharged online loans, "when he was discovered, he had already borrowed thousands of yuan online continuously." ”
Similar to the repeated fluctuations of Internet addicted teenagers, Pan Shengming has been in contact with a lot: "There are many patients who come to the clinic at this stage of addiction to the Internet. However, waiting until this time to intervene, the effect is often not ideal. ”
Pan Shengming said that Internet addiction does not happen overnight, there are four stages of development. At first, most people are "normal use", that is, they can learn and work normally while playing games; if the game begins to affect their studies, work or life, it will develop to the second stage - "overuse", which is also the best intervention period; until the stage of day and night reversing, or even skipping class to play games, that is, "harmful use", that is, "addiction to the Internet" in the popular sense, intervention is very difficult; finally, it will develop to "game addiction".
For internet addiction, prevention is far more important than treatment. In Pan Shengming's view, the most effective preventive measure is to start from parents and provide a good growth environment for children.
"Often, when a child's mood fluctuates, it is because the surrounding small environment has changed. At this time, he needs a stable environment, which requires parents to be emotionally stable. At the same time, parents should listen to their children's voices and pay attention to their children's changes, whether psychologically or academically, when his growth is frustrated, it is the moment when timely intervention is needed. Pan Shengming reminded that sometimes, the change of parents is particularly important, "not that every parent must become very good, but to accept the child from the heart." Especially for parents who place excessive expectations on their children, communication with their children is very important. ”
(In order to protect the privacy of the parties, Yang Guang, Wang Hui, Xiaoyu, Li Li and Liu Xiang are pseudonyms)
News+
Recently, the State Press and Publication Administration issued the "Circular on Further Strict Management and Effectively Preventing Minors from Addicting to Online Games", which further tightens management measures in view of the problem of minors' excessive use or even addiction to online games, resolutely prevents minors from addicting to online games, and effectively protects the physical and mental health of minors. It is also required to strictly limit the time to provide online game services to minors, and all online game enterprises can only provide 1 hour of service to minors from 20:00 to 21:00 every day on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays and statutory holidays, and shall not provide online game services to minors in any form at other times.
Qianjiang Evening News Hourly News Reporter Zhang Rong Intern Zhou Linyi Correspondent Li Bin