For countless people, getting married is the second reincarnation in life.
Before you get married, how your life is is only affected by your family of origin and your own choices. After getting married, how your life is will be affected by your other half and marriage.
From the moment you get married, you lose about half of your control over your life. At this time, whether your life is good and whether your life is happy is not only your problem, but also your partner's problem.
Anyone who has ever been married knows this. Before marriage, I always felt that marriage represented happiness. After getting married, I realized that finding the wrong person to marry is even more terrible than buying the wrong stock.
In particular, the marriage of contemporary young people is becoming more and more complicated and uncertain. In this way, when young people are looking for their other half, they need to be cautious and keep their eyes open.
Tell your children that the hardships of the second half of their lives begin with marrying these types of people.
The first category: the opposite sex who has no economic power.
How do young people choose the right partner? The rich and elite have already given a clear answer to this question: they are the right people.
From ancient times to the present, wealthy families have played a set of "marriage". The son of this rich man married the daughter of that rich man, and as soon as the two parties married, it played the effect of "one plus one is greater than two".
The same goes for ordinary people. If you are a middle-class person with a net worth of millions, it is best to find someone of the opposite sex in the same class to marry. As for the opposite sex who is worse than yourself, don't think about it.
Here's an example. You are a native of Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen, and you have a daughter, so what man do you want your daughter to marry? The first choice is still the indigenous of Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen.
You are a native of a first-tier city, and he is also a native of a first-tier city, and the two parties are married together, and the family property alone is enough for the couple to eat for a lifetime. This is a "strong combination".
If you have no economic strength of the opposite sex, don't think about it. You are middle-class, he is low-yield, as soon as you combine with him, won't "one plus one is less than zero"?
The second category: the opposite sex whose personality does not match the three views.
The contradictions between people are generally related to the "three views of character". If you have such thoughts, and he has such ideas, and you don't agree with him, there will be conflicts.
To find a partner for marriage, we must first look at the economic strength of the parties, and secondly, we must look at the three views of the parties' personalities. If you lack economic strength, you will be poor and your family will have no peace. If the three views of the personality do not match, there will be no peace at home.
Many parents don't understand the "three views of personality". They think that it is good to find someone to live with, and whether the three views of personality are consistent or not, is it really that important?
In the past, life was a hard life, and it really doesn't matter what the three views of the personality are. And today, who is living a hard life with you? Without the three views that coincide, there is no way to guarantee the happiness of marriage.
Here's an example. He thinks that a little wealth is good, but she asks the other half to be rich and rich, he and her are people from two worlds, and being together is just a tragedy.
True love begins with material things and is sublimated in the three views. The three views are mutually reclusive, even if you get married, you will get divorced quickly.
The third category: the opposite sex who lowers their quality of life.
Young people's love often has a certain blindness, thinking that "there is love to drink water" or "sharing joys and sorrows" and so on. In general, none of this will become a reality.
If you have a little money, you find a person of the opposite sex who is good at gambling, or who sits and eats nothing, then if you are with him, you will be lowered by him in the quality of life.
could have lived a delicate life, but now he can only live a miserable and poor life. Isn't this a kind of sadness of blind choice?
Parents, to tell their children a truth: you can't think through the lower half of the body, and you can't act blindly. Three-legged toads are uncommon, but two-legged people of the opposite sex are all over the streets, and there is no need to marry casually.
What modern life pursues is the beauty of the combination of the strong and the strong, not the union of the weak or the sorrow of the combination of the strong and the weak. Once the quality of life is reduced, the parties cannot bear it, and the marriage cannot last long.
It's hard to hear, but it's true. Otherwise, why are there so many young people who divorce after less than two years of marriage?
Category 4: Persons of the opposite sex with violent tendencies.
There are only zero and countless times of domestic violence. Either both parties live in harmony, or one party abuses the other, endlessly, until the day when it is unbearable.
Touched on a case. A girl, who did not listen to the advice of her elders, married a man who often beat and scolded her parents. Because when she is in love, men often tell her some vows, and girls also feel that they can move him.
After only half a year of marriage, this girl was abused by her husband. At that moment, she understood a truth, her husband took a fancy to her, and he wanted to stimulate her physiologically. After the stimulation, the husband was revealed.
If you think about it, if a person doesn't respect his parents, will he respect his other half? People who even beat and scold their parents are definitely people with extremely violent tendencies.
It's naïve to fantasize about touching your partner with your love. You know, human nature can't be changed, we can't even change ourselves, so why should we change others?
As a parent, you should make sure that you don't let your child marry someone who has violent tendencies. Otherwise, it is easy to cause tragedy.