I saw my mother in the mountains

In order to raise their children, every mountain mother has given everything they have. And to go one step further, what is needed is the attention and support of the whole society.

Text: A Zhao

Edited by Chu Ming

Photography | EWG is produced everywhere

Childcare, a 7x24 job

The carrier is passed under the baby's armpits, wrapped around the mother's shoulder, then wrapped around the back, wrapping around the child's legs, and finally tightly tying a knot under the mother's chest. Every morning, Amo skillfully carries his youngest child. The two little girls of three or five years old were still rolling on the bed, and Mo dressed them one by one in school uniforms, combed their hair, and carried a purple schoolbag with the little princess printed on it. Keep your shoes tight, and you'll have to walk a long way.

After 7 o'clock in the morning, just after dawn, Mo pushed open the door of the house, and the child stepped out of the threshold like a duckling. The mountains are still surrounded by dense fog, and her home is in a county in the southwestern mountains, on an inconspicuous mountainside among the rolling hills. Amo's day as a mother begins with taking her children down the mountain to school.

The road was not steep, but it was narrow and rugged, and at its narrowest it was almost only for one person, and the grass branches that spread out from the side of the road grazed people's shoulders. Like a child, Momo likes to fold a grass branch in his mouth. Four men lined up across the stream that flowed down the mountain, like a procession of the smallest units. Since the eldest started kindergarten, she has lived in such a march for at least 7 years.

We found Amo on the contact list of a local kindergarten. Together with JD Supermarket's Mother and Child Love Campaign, we wanted to find some ordinary mountain child-rearing families and understand how these mothers raise a child in these mountain village families that are usually difficult to see.

In big cities, raising a baby has become accustomed to being seen as a big deal for the whole family. From preparing for pregnancy, pregnancy to childbirth, from small months to old months, from the phased selection of milk powder and complementary food, the scientific use of diapers, to the attention of children's special cleaning products, novice parents will absorb the knowledge of scientific parenting like a sponge, and do their best to provide their children with the best and most delicate parenting.

However, for mothers in the mountains, the blockage of transportation and the relative lack of parenting information and products make it difficult for them to find sufficient external support.

After sending off her two children, Amo had no time to spare, planting corn, beating corn flour, feeding pigs, feeding chickens, and a lot of farm work waiting for her. The fourth child is just over 1 year old, and he can't leave people for a moment. No matter what work he does, Amo will carry him on his back. Finally free, the carrier was untied, and the baby was transferred from his back to Amo's arms.

Here, dolls on their backs can be seen everywhere. A harness resembles an extended umbilical cord that binds mother and child together. In these families, children are born one after the other, with a difference of only one or two years, and many mothers have been going through the life of raising babies for more than a decade. This is a long "new mother period". Menial work is scattered in 24/7 uninterrupted labor.

Amo (Shamal Romo) and her children

What moms don't know

In a Yi family in the mountains, it is considered a common thing to have about four children, and it is even better if it is two sons and two daughters. Moaji, a 31-year-old who lives on the side of the road, already has three children, the youngest is just over one year old, and she is pregnant with a five-month-old fourth baby in her belly. She didn't have much reaction to this pregnancy, and she couldn't say joy or sorrow, "It's all like this here."

Moaji's parenting experience comes entirely from the words and deeds of the elders in the family. From the age of five or six months, Moachi began to feed his children buckwheat flour. When they are older and have teeth, they will eat what adults eat and what children eat.

When talking to her about parenting, no matter what questions are asked to her, she only gives the simplest answer, "yes" and "no".

It took a long time for us to understand that before the eldest was born, Moa could barely speak a word of Chinese. She did not go to school, and when she went out to work, she always relied on the translation of her fellow villagers to communicate with the outside world. The change occurred after the conception of the first child. With a child, she had to go out shopping more often and could no longer rely on her fellow villagers every time. In order to buy clothes and shoes for her children, she walked alone to a strange market. After listening to what others said, she followed along, so she learned Chinese completely by self-study.

She also learned to shop online. Click on the software, brush the picture, the words can't be understood, but the size number and price can still be understood, as long as all the steps in the software are memorized like muscle memory, she can buy things for the child. We almost thought she was a wooden person, but we didn't expect her to be so brave, smart, and quite talented in learning.

Twenty or thirty years ago, in the mountains, there were still many families who would not have chosen to send their girls out to school. They spent their childhood helping their families with farm work and their mothers with their younger siblings. They have no other outlet for receiving external information, except for their relatives and friends who speak in tongues. When they become mothers, the traditional experiences of the older generation are often their only option. The popularization of parenting knowledge and the iteration of parenting products have not really reached them.

Even for educated young mothers, they often have a lot of questions in family parenting, but they don't know where to get answers. Qu Mu Ayi, who was born in 1997, is 27 years old this year and is already a mother of five children. She went to junior high school, can speak Chinese fluently, and loves to play with her mobile phone like all young people, watch short videos, and post selfies in her circle of friends. But the more information she was exposed to, the more confused she became.

Her video software has completely become a parenting channel, and what she watches the most every day is how other people take care of their children. She learned how to puree vegetables for her children, bought teethers for her children, and knew that compared to traditional diapers, diapers are more hygienic and convenient, and can also save the time of washing children's clothes. But the elderly in the family have always felt that wearing diapers is unhealthy and will make their buttocks red.

This difference in perception is more reflected in the parenting process of Qumu Ayi's family. The two children have poor resistance and are always sick, Qumu Ayi has to run to the county hospital almost every month, and she doesn't even dare to go to the toilet when she takes the child to hang the water alone. The doctor prescribed vitamin AD to the child to improve immunity, 35 yuan a box, she gave the child a month, and then gave up. Her mother-in-law, mother, and neighbors all told her in her ear that it was useless to spend money on this thing.

Qu Mu Ayi was a little embarrassed when he talked about this. She had gone to school, and she knew that she should listen to the doctor, and she also knew that it was much better to actively improve the child's immunity than to go to the water frequently. But why can't I do it, "because I'm a kind of person who is relatively unassertive, and what others say is easily shaken, and his position is not very firm." She smiled, and her face turned red.

Qumu Ayi and her mother-in-law, the mother-in-law is a boy in the dragon and phoenix womb

When we are here, chatting with mothers about how to choose baby products and how to raise children more scientifically, we have seen such shy, red-faced smiles many times. Some mothers don't know that milk powder needs to be purchased in sections, and some mothers think that 30 yuan a can of rice noodles in the supermarket is already a good choice of complementary food. In fact, they don't have many choices, and going to the supermarket in the town or county town and asking the clerks, "What is suitable for my one-year-old child?" is the most common way they choose products when buying products.

A small wish

When we ask these mothers about their own lives, joys, troubles, and hobbies, the answers are almost all related to their children. What would you do if you had an afternoon to spare and you didn't have to take the kids? A lot of moms can't answer that question.

Liu Xiaoying is an exception, she has a very clear dream, "I want to get a driver's license because I like girls who drive". Every time she drives a small motorcycle to pick up and drop off a child, she is always terrified. With a driver's license, not only is it more convenient to pick up and drop off children, but you can also find a job transporting goods, and maybe have time to travel, even if your husband doesn't have time, you can drive your own car, how nice.

Liu Xiaoying is also from the Yi ethnic group, and this Chinese name is proof that she went to school and gave her a "scientific name". She has read books, and because of her part-time job, she has traveled to Shandong, Beijing, and Guangzhou, she speaks Mandarin very standardly, and her speech is also neat and decisive, and she knows that she is a person with ideas when she hears it. A few years ago, she also invested 50,000 yuan to open a brick factory in the village, which can earn more than some people working in the county seat. But seeing that she was about to make a profit, she found out that she was pregnant with her third child.

Originally, she decided that she only had two children, but after thinking about it, Liu Xiaoying was still reluctant to give up this child. So the brick factory closed, and Liu Xiaoying became a housewife again.

Liu Xiaoying always knew that there was another possibility in her life. She has four brothers and sisters, she is the eldest, and many of her younger brothers and sisters in the family have been carried by Liu Xiaoying since she was born, and she seems to have been a mother since that time. After graduating from junior high school at the age of 17, Liu Xiaoying was bent on working to earn money for her younger siblings to study. Her parents asked her, "Have you thought about it? Don't regret it." Liu Xiaoying said, "I will never regret it. 」

Looking back at the age of 31, Liu Xiaoying still regretted her decision when she was 17 years old. If she were to choose again, "If I could go to school for a few more years, I might have a small job now." All she wanted now was for the third child to be a little bigger, big enough to get off her back. Then maybe she can go and get a driver's license, or she can go for a job. She also wanted to drive to places she had never been before.

Liu Xiaoying's eldest daughter and younger brother

For mothers who live a baby-rearing life all year round, it is a luxury to talk about "self". They will think that if they had studied more and had a job, they would have been able to buy more food and clothes for their children, so that their children could live a better life.

The 30-year-old also has a small wish. Xiaobao is about to learn to walk recently, and she helps him walk on the ground at home every day. The house was repaired more than 20 years ago, and she really wanted to get a little money to repair the family's house, so that the ground was smoother, and the walls should not always be knotted with cobwebs.

Her husband works outside, and Amo can get more than 1,000 living expenses every month. She barely buys food rations, and is self-sufficient with potatoes and vegetables in the field, spending all her money on her children. Mo has always wanted to go out to work and earn a little money on his own. She's not the kind of person who would be afraid because she doesn't speak the language or didn't go to school, she believes that as long as she can get out, she can always make money. Before the fourth child was born, she even asked someone else to buy a train ticket to Shenzhen for her. But at the train station, she was stopped by her husband. The child is still young and cannot be left alone.

Amo, Amo, we used to call her that for the past few days at her house, because we heard everyone else call her that, and thought it was her nickname. Every time she shouted "Amo!" in the crowd, she ran over with a smile on her face. Whenever she looked at her, she was always smiling, as if there was no sorrow in her life. Towards the end of the interview, she told us that the "Amo" we had been calling us actually meant "Mommy".

Actually, her name is Shamal Romo. Even if it's called a nickname, it should be called "sand". Shamal Romo doesn't count on her husband, or her in-laws, or her mother's family to help her improve her life right now. When the child will go and get off her back, she believes that she will definitely go to Shenzhen.

Echoes beyond the mountains

In the evening, after school, the children returned home and the village came alive. Some children are like birds out of the cage, putting down their school bags and running out to climb trees, play in the water, and chase the puppies in the vegetable garden. They were holding snacks they had bought from the commissary, their faces tanned from the intense ultraviolet rays of the plateau, and their eyes shining at the mountains in the distance. At this time, the whole mountain is their natural playground.

Few parents here are anxious about whether their child has grown to a standard height and weight, whether he has learned to sit, crawl, run and jump at the right age, and whether he will be at the top of the school. What mothers here care about most is that their children should be less sick, grow up healthy and smooth, and go to school for a few more years to be more productive than themselves.

Children in the village Photo source A Zhao

The third sister of Shen Xiaoying's family is one of the few who still stays at home when she reaches the age of kindergarten. The little girl combed two pigtails, smiled and her eyes were bent into a slit, and her mouth opened to reveal a few small insect teeth. Waving to her and saying hello, she only responded in the thinnest voice, and her mother explained that because she didn't go to kindergarten, the third sister didn't speak Chinese very well.

The tuition and miscellaneous fees for a semester in kindergarten are only 600 yuan, but Shen Xiaoying and her husband still want to save another province. After the youngest fourth brother was weaned, they were reluctant to buy milk powder, so they only bought peanut milk drink for their children, and bought 9 bottles for 20 yuan, which could be drunk for three or four days. Only at night, she will put on a diaper for the little one, and no longer wear it during the day. 45 yuan and 60 diapers can be worn for two months.

"Financial difficulties," she was embarrassed to explain. The second child in the family had a serious illness when he was more than two years old, and even Shen Xiaoying himself couldn't tell the cause, but the child fainted from time to time at home and was out of breath for several minutes. Her husband took him to a big hospital in Chengdu for an examination, and he called home and told her that the treatment would cost three or four hundred thousand yuan. Shen Xiaoying didn't even understand the specific treatment plan, but she didn't hesitate for a second, "I will definitely treat him."

Shen Xiaoying and her husband borrowed money from more than 20 relatives and tightened their belts to cover the treatment fee. Half a year later, the child's illness was cured, but the family is still paying the arrears. For Shen Xiaoying, solving this month's repayment and living expenses has to be regarded as a more urgent matter than the child's kindergarten.

In order to raise their children, every mountain mother has given everything they have. And to go one step further, what is needed is the attention and support of the whole society. And these mothers in the mountains are also being seen by more people.

Shen Xiaoying's family

This visit to the mountainous area was jointly launched by the maternal and infant category of Jingdong Supermarket and 40 maternal and infant and toy brands across the country. The "JD Supermarket Maternal and Child Love Action - 10,000 Families Donation Program" continues to provide public welfare assistance for newborn families in remote areas, and is committed to reducing family childcare costs and alleviating parenting anxiety.

The purchasing and marketing staff of maternal and infant products in Jingdong Supermarket walked into these families and wanted to know what kind of support a child needs if he wants to grow up healthily in the depths of the mountains.

After in-depth contact with these mountain mothers, combined with their specific needs, we will work together with JD Public Welfare, the local government, and Beijing Yuanmeng Public Welfare Foundation to focus on the needs of newborn families in need in mountainous areas in 2024. JD.com hopes that this action can help families in need reduce the cost of childcare, and also hopes to help "novice parents" and newborn families establish a more scientific and healthy view of parenting.

At the same time, JD.com also decided to record the stories of these mothers. This time, they went into the mountainous areas to bring not only a batch of supplies, but also a window for the society to pay attention to the situation of newborn families at the grassroots level.

At the end of Shen Xiaoying's visit, her shy daughter took the initiative to sit in front of our camera. She smiled and said that she was a very good sister, who could dress her brother and sing a lot of songs. Shen Xiaoying is usually a mother who loves to listen to songs and sing, and the mobile phone at home often plays Yi songs. She walked over and encouraged her daughter to sing a few words.

"Don't you know how to sing this, little rabbit, open the door......

The braided daughter sang two sentences with her mother, and giggled shyly.

The sound of train horns can be heard in the mountains, echoing from far to near, layer by layer through the valley. We hope that in the future, this ballad will also be echoed from beyond the mountains.