Everyone wants to live a happy life, and when asked "what is happiness", everyone may have a different answer - material abundance, spiritual abundance, or the company of lovers?
Although happiness is affected by a variety of factors, psychologists have spent a lot of effort to sort out what the mechanism behind it is to help the public find the key to open the door to happiness. According to psychology professor Sonia Lyubomirsky's research, happiness can be understood through a "happiness formula". This formula consists of three main parts:
1
gene
About 50% of our emotional experience is genetically determined (depending on the specific study, this value fluctuates, such as a recent study that lowered this value to 33%), which means that our happiness is partly genetically involved.
2
Conscious behavior
About 40% of our happiness comes from our conscious behaviors, such as learning new skills, taking a break, meditating, doing charity, cooking, and even petting cats and dogs. These behaviors are within our control of our lives and can significantly improve our well-being.
3
Living environment
The remaining 10% of happiness is made up of our life circumstances, including the various life events we go through, such as exams, relationships, awards, employment. These events have an impact on our well-being, but research shows that these effects stabilize over time – you may be happy when you go ashore for graduate school, but your happiness tends to ease as you progress through graduate school.
Overall, well-being is shaped by a combination of our genes, conscious behavioral choices, and life events. While genetics play an integral role, we can still improve our well-being through positive behaviors and attitudes, rather than being completely constrained by genetics or external circumstances.
In the face of the "variables" in the happiness formula, how should we fill in and control them in our lives? The following "keys" may help you open the door to happiness.
Money makes you happier
But the essence of happiness is not money
Money can buy happiness, but it is not how much happiness can be bought by spending money.
We often hear the idea that I am unhappy because I don't have money. There is another meaning behind this sentence, that is, "as long as I have enough money, then I can be happy enough".
It is true that studies have shown that people's happiness is related to income level, but this relationship is not simply proportional. To put it simply, if you earn 10 times as much as another person, you will not necessarily be 10 times happier than another person. Research from Princeton University found that when an individual's annual household income reaches $75,000, happiness no longer rises with income.
But in a more recent study that analysed data from more than 30,000 participants, there was no upper limit to the happiness that money can earn – but the increase slowed dramatically. At the same time, the researchers of this study also believe that people with higher incomes are happier not because they have money, but because they don't worry about money, which leads to a greater sense of control over their lives, which is the real source of their happiness!
In other words, even if you earn a lot of money every month, but you don't have time to rest, you don't have the opportunity to socialize, you don't have the opportunity to exercise, and even a considerable part of your income is destined to be spent on some hard expenses that you can't control, then your happiness may not be much higher.
Of course, you can argue "it's because you don't make enough!", but can a money-making machine that works around the clock be truly happy?
At best, money can only be used as the key to the communication room of the temple of happiness, and if you are extremely poor, happiness is indeed impossible, but money alone is destined to not go deep into true happiness.
Do what you're good at
想不幸福都难
Do you have any skills and advantages that surpass others, such as speech, writing, musical instruments, maybe you are good at flipping ropes like Nobita, maybe you are especially good at smashing in badminton, maybe you are better at fishing for sea fish than others, maybe you can always carry the whole court as long as you get a certain position in a mobile game battle?
Cultivating and living on your strengths may sound simple, but the psychological processes behind it are complex, involving positive emotions, positive thinking, positive behaviors, and the satisfaction of an individual's needs, all of which contribute to well-being.
The sense of accomplishment and quality of the activity itself, as well as the intrinsic motivation and flow commitment of the individual to "do what he is good at", all affect well-being, and the fit between the individual and the activity can be effective in predicting higher levels of well-being.
However, another effect was found in follow-up studies of dominant behaviors, and that was "overadaptation". According to the study, the happiness of dominant behaviors decreases over time – no matter how good you are at fishing, it's hard to get the hang of fishing for a week without coming home.
Therefore, psychologists suggest that you need to be flexible in changing the type, frequency, and participation of the dominant behaviors you want to engage in to avoid "over-adaptation". If you are a golfer who loves to play football, then you can fish for happiness, you can also study various nesting techniques, watch the live broadcast of fishing, and of course, you can also find a weekend to put down the fishing rod and go to play a field of football!
Helping others to be happier
It will also make you happier
There is a psychological effect called the "aftertaste effect", as the name suggests, it means "with people roses, hands have afterfragrance". Altruistic acts of selfless dedication are not only beneficial to society, but also bring about positive changes for the helpers themselves, which can transcend psychological experience and even alleviate physical pain in addition to making people happier.
It doesn't matter what form you take to help others – participating in charity activities, donating money, volunteering, or even offering to ask the supermarket owner to take less money from you can make you happier.
There are three main reasons for this: first, altruistic behavior can often be recognized and positively responded by society, and perceived social support is an important factor in improving the sense of meaning and happiness in life, second, through altruistic behavior, individuals may feel their own value and positive self-evaluation, which can improve self-esteem, which in turn affects happiness (I am such a good person, I must be happy!), and third, altruistic behavior can stimulate positive emotions such as gratitude, contentment and happiness.
Selfish people are addicted to themselves and inevitably lack open-mindedness, while altruistic people can have more positive interactions with society, so they have the material and nourishment for happiness.
The people you care about are happy
You will be happy
"My wife is happy and my life is comfortable. It is the philosophy of many middle-aged men. They know very well that having a good relationship with their wives is an important prerequisite for their happy lives. In fact, for the "wives", the same is true. At the end of the day, it's the "quality relationships" that affect well-being.
In our lives, there are always people who are particularly important – parents, children, partners, confidants, old friends. And a positive and high-quality deep relationship is also an important guarantee of happiness. The kind of interpersonal and social environment in which people are immersed has a very direct impact on their sense of well-being.
If you don't have a good relationship with your partner in your marriage, you may face higher physical and mental health risks, be more susceptible to illness, and even affect your life expectancy.
Therefore, managing your important relationships well and being a "happy" bank for each other is undoubtedly a good way to help others and yourself immediately.
Passive socialization does not give you happiness
Speaking of this, some people may say: "Why is happiness so complicated! I am a part-time worker, and when I go home at night, I want to lie in bed and watch short videos, so I am quite happy!"
It's true that everyone needs to rest and relax after a tiring day, but don't really think of this leisure as the key to truly opening the door to happiness.
Some studies have found that simply watching short videos is a kind of information consumption activity without direct communication, which is essentially a passive use of social networks - in terms of operation mode, it is completely different from chatting with friends, having meals with family, and watching movies with lovers. Even if the short video you see is from your friend, the interaction is passive and lagging.
In addition, a large number of short video content will also imperceptibly convey some content that collapses our mentality, such as self-objectified information, which may make us feel that we are not good here or strong, and then produce self-denial; for example, physical satisfaction, which may make us think that our body is not good enough, and our skin is not white enough, and then produce unnecessary comparisons; and for example, negative social comparisons, which will make us compare with wealth, social status, lifestyle, and other elements. The end result is an increase in loneliness and a decrease in happiness.
It's true that there's nothing wrong with watching short videos, but if you use it as the main source of happiness, you're bound to be disappointed. This key can't open the door to happiness, so you might as well use the first four methods to improve your happiness!
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Source: WeChat public account "Voice of China Association for Science and Technology"
Author: Ye Zhuang
Editor: Pan Xi
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