The Chinese Society of Education once released a set of survey data:
In 2023, the market size of China's primary and secondary school tutoring institutions will reach 800 billion yuan, and the number of students participating in extracurricular tutoring will exceed 137 million.
It can be seen that most parents have a high willingness to pay for extracurricular tutoring.
However, there are many complaints about children who are deprived of weekend time to attend "interest classes".
Most children spend most of their time in three to six interest classes each weekend.
Among them, there are painting classes, piano classes, violin classes, Olympiad classes, dance classes, quick arithmetic classes, taekwondo classes, calligraphy classes, physical classes, and so on......
In the face of their children's complaints, parents expressed their grievances:
"Other people's children learn, but if we don't learn, we can't do anything!"
"The competition is too fierce now, and if a child does not have the blessing of his or her talents, it will be even more difficult for him to enter a key middle school. ”
Some parents said that there is no utilitarian purpose for letting their children learn some specialties, and they simply want their children to entertain themselves and enrich their lives.
Don't let interest classes ruin your child's interest
"China Education Daily" once published an article titled "Violin Took My Childhood".
Even though the author Chuanzi is an adult, when he mentions the painful experience of learning the piano in his childhood, his mood is difficult to calm down for a long time.
When Chuanzi was in the third grade, his father started his "Yucai Plan":
English, calligraphy, violin......
Chuanzi was born in a small city, and there were not so many interest classes at that time, so her father taught it himself.
But in fact, his father was not proficient in everything, and he was as self-righteous as most parents when it came to re-educating their children.
Kawako said that he was once called up at 5 a.m. every morning to study English for two hours.
Then it was school time to carry a school bag to school like other children.
If foreign languages and calligraphy are just "pluses", then the hobby of violin is nothing less than a nightmare for her.
The reason why I say this is because it is not her hobby at all, it is completely her father's hobby.
Like many parents, he imposed his hobbies and dreams on his children, taking away the joy of his childhood.
During the summer vacations of those years, she had to practice the piano for eight hours a day, and the same was true after the start of school, so she squeezed out almost all of her spare time.
Sometimes even because of poor practice, she didn't get honor, and her father punched and kicked her, which left a shadow on Chuanzi's heart.
It wasn't until college that she broke free from her father's control, so she never touched the violin again.
Because as soon as you see it, you will reflexively recall that painful time.
Chuanzi said that children are not the private property of their parents, please allow children to do what they want to do and like to do.
Today's children should be happier than Chuanzi because their parents provide them with a better environment for them to grow up.
But what puzzles many people is that today's children are just as unhappy as Chuanzi.
The reason for this is that children are treated as the property of their parents and cannot do what they like.
So, parents are asked to let go and let their children go on their own.
You will be pleasantly surprised to see how high and far children can fly in the free sky.
Respect your child's interests and develop your child's potential
Parents should understand that no matter how young a child is, he is an independent individual, and only when he is respected can he be confident and self-reliant.
To develop your child's strengths, consider their interests, ask them what they think, and respect their decisions.
I once heard a child complain:
"In the sequel to "Huanzhu Gege", there are four sisters, Zhiqin, Zhiqi, Zhishu, and Zhihua, each with their own expertise.
And my mother only gave birth to one daughter, so I had to 'four in one', and I had to learn all the piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, which is really sad!"
There is no doubt that it is necessary for a child to have a skill.
If a person has no expertise at all, it is difficult to gain a foothold in modern society.
However, how to discover children's potential and how to cultivate children's specialties is very knowledgeable.
Wei Jie, a famous economics professor at Tsinghua University, once told about his upbringing in a lecture.
When he first entered college, he did not study economics, but Chinese.
At that time, learning Chinese was the dream of many young people, including him.
But when he was a freshman, he found that he was not suitable for creative work and was interested in economics.
At this time, he made a decision that surprised many people: he applied to the school to change his major to economics.
Later, Wei Jie made some achievements in the field of economics.
In fact, children's potential is very different, and it is important to respect their characteristics and interests, and not all of them should be determined by parents' preferences and judgments.
When you enroll your child in a specialty class, ask yourself, have you asked for your child's opinion?
Is this a genuine interest of the child?
You can't treat your child as a lump of mud and pinch it casually, but you should let it go and let your child shape his own image.
In this way, their lives will be more exciting.
Every child has their own characteristics, what should we do with children with their own characteristics?
My suggestion is four words:
Make up for your strengths, and don't suppress your child's strengths.
Studies have found that children who are more stressed are less likely to study well, and don't think that stress will necessarily turn into motivation.
Excessive stress can create feelings of despair and failure, which can affect high ambitions and confidence.
The premise of educating children is to understand the child, and after understanding the child, adopt the strategy of complementing each other's strengths.
Encourage and help your child's weaknesses, but you can't expect him to reach a relatively high level soon.
To cultivate children's strengths, parents must not be too utilitarian
Due to the limited admission rate of elite primary and secondary schools, in order to be able to win in the fierce competition, many primary school students and even young children are forced to participate in more training courses to increase the weight of the exam.
Primary and secondary school students participate in training courses in order to win awards and thus add points to their admission to higher education.
Some were forced to attend training courses at the request of their parents.
Some of them attend training courses because they have nothing to do, so they pass the time.
There are also some students who have to go because others have participated.
There is no doubt that all kinds of training courses can meet the needs of students to improve their abilities and cultivate their specialties to a certain extent.
This also has certain positive implications for enriching children's holiday life.
But there are two sides to everything, and sometimes, the training class becomes a source of stress for some children.
Parents can't be blamed for this, what are they doing to save money and work tirelessly to send their children to various specialty classes?
Isn't it just to make children's development more well-rounded and better?
For ordinary families, if they want their children to enter key middle schools, specialties are a good stepping stone.
Nowadays, when many key middle schools recruit new students, having specialties is also an important assessment indicator.
Although we understand the good intentions of some parents, we must not turn our hard work into bitter fruit.
Cultivating specialties is a double-edged sword, and if you master it well, it will be beneficial to children.
If you don't grasp it well, it will harm the child.
"Pearl River Evening News" once published a news commentary:
Wuhan held an essay contest entitled "Give Me a Little Time" in which nearly 4,200 primary and secondary school students participated.
More than 70% of the children chose a common theme:
I was forced by my mother to do my homework all day, and I was under a lot of pressure to study.
One of the children wrote:
Mom is a "tigress", and every time she goes out to play, she always blocks her and comes back.
Mom is a "chameleon", she greets her with a smile when she has good grades, and she will be angry when she does not pass the exam.
Mom is a "Hedong Lion", and she will have seizures when she watches TV by herself for a while.
……
Such a description must not have been expected by mothers who are so anxious about their children.
The newspaper commented that the mother's approach to education is demonized in the minds of children.
Mothers may feel aggrieved: it's all for the good of the child, why doesn't the child appreciate it?
Those mothers who are "demonized" by their children are not unloving their children, but they are just a little inappropriate in the way they love in the face of the pressure of reality.
But is this kind of love really needed by children?
Is there a problem with such utilitarian love in itself?
Interest is not only the best teacher, but also the most energetic nutrition in life.
The value of interest, while high, is low.
Parents should look at specialty classes and interest classes with a calm mind.
Don't use a utilitarian mindset to affect your child's enthusiasm for learning and increase your child's learning pressure.
If the original intention of parents is to let their children have more hobbies and more skills to regulate their lives.
Then please note that the joy of specialty learning is in the process, not in the future results.
Interest classes and specialty classes should be made a relaxed and happy learning experience for children, rather than a stressful experience.
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How to find a balance between parents' expectations and children's interests and strengths?
In order for interest classes to be truly beneficial to children, we must pay attention to the following four principles:
1. Don't treat your child as a private property and ruin your child's interest with your own interests.
2. Respect the child's decision and let the child choose the right specialty for his or her own development.
3. Don't be too utilitarian, and strive to make interest classes a relaxed and happy learning experience for children.
4. In addition to studying, leisure play is also important for children.
Finally, I wish every child a happy childhood of their own.
Author | Poetry and Breeze
Illustration | Poetry and Charm Night Painting