#What is your father-son relationship#
When it comes to father-son relationships, most people probably think of worship, strength, responsibility, and a tall image. But in my eyes, my father has always been like a familiar stranger. When other children still idolized their fathers, I was already silently thinking in my heart: "Don't live like him in the future."
I'm just going to talk about it lightly today, because I don't want to tell something objective and let people misunderstand it as a complaint. After all, the only person who really understands is myself, and the purpose of my writing is just to record it, will my mentality be different from now when I look back in the future?
Regarding studying, he has only been to my school three times since I was a child, the first time was when I was about 5.6 years old when I was about 5.6 years old, the second time was when I was in the first year of junior high school, he suddenly went to school with Uncle Wang in my village on a whim to get my final report card, and came back and half-jokingly told me that I had a single digit in the math test, maybe even I didn't expect the test to be so bad, and then there was no end to it; the third time was when I signed up for my freshman year, I guess it was under the persuasion of my aunts to send me to school.
So far, there is no question about my study, even after I finished high school, he doesn't know where the door of my school opens, and I am completely left to fend for myself. The only thing worth mentioning is that in the second year of junior high school, a few good ones dropped out of school and went out to work, my grades in school were very average, and reading was quite boring, so I put forward the idea of not studying, and he rejected me at the time, saying that if I don't study, I won't enter the house in the future, and I was bluffed. Until the end of the junior high school exam, I almost got a score, and I originally applied for a technical school with my classmates, but then the head teacher found my family and said that there was a high school that could be re-registered, and he had no opinion. Later, I also found the tuition fee for the technical school and went to high school by myself.
I was thinking: this is probably the only thing he can do with my studies that he can do a little bit about my studies, and if he hadn't vetoed me at that time, I don't think I would be where I am today. But my real guess about this is that maybe I was still young at the time, and he didn't have the ability to give me a better way out at that time, so he could only let me read first, take one step at a time, and he didn't have the awareness to pave the way for me or plan how to go in the future. This can be seen from the fact that I did not take the technical school or high school entrance examination in the third year of junior high school, in his consciousness, as long as you are studying, no matter what you study, there will always be a way! As long as I don't have to worry about you, besides, I don't have any resources and a good way for you, and your own way out depends on your creation!
As for love, others say that my father's love is deep, which seems ironic to me! I have also been moved by myself to look for traces of love in him and try to understand him. But when the emotions were released by themselves, I still couldn't feel what the so-called "love" he put into me was! Since I was a child, he only took on the role of a father in name, but he never played it. In my opinion, he was quite a failure because he never threw himself into the role.
Regarding home education, when it comes to family education, the role of the father is absent. I don't remember what life principles he told me, and I don't remember him telling me the rules of social survival, let alone how to fall in love and how to run a good family. I think there may be two people who influenced me with my enlightenment, one is my grandmother and the other is my cousin. My grandmother raised me from a young age, and I felt some good qualities from her.
For example, self-improvement, a woman pulls 5 children up, and let them have their own home, now it is not easy for a family to raise a child, you can imagine the hardships of my grandmother and a woman pulling 5 children to start a family (compared to my father, only to provide me with the most basic economy, and there is no real sense of education and companionship, and there is nothing to help on the career path, let alone after starting a family, I only think it is ridiculous that people say that home is the strongest backing, I only think it is ridiculous, and even the so-called home has no memory of the slightest, let alone the belief of fighting for whom); , as well as the subtle influence of many words and deeds of dealing with people.
Then there's my cousin, who went to his school during my high school summer vacation and stayed for a week or two, when he was going to graduate school. During this period, I talked to him a lot, and it was during this period that inspired me a lot, including his own efforts (he didn't do well in the college entrance examination, he went to a junior college and later went to college, and then went to graduate school although he almost got a score in the graduate school entrance examination), so that I could see some things that I could touch after hard work. Perhaps it is precisely because of some qualities that my grandmother imperceptibly taught me, coupled with some practical things in my cousin, that allowed me to feel my own direction in the dark, thus achieving me who was frequently evaluated in high school and constantly challenging myself to break through myself in college, and I who was pragmatic and enterprising in my later work.
These three points are only the tip of the iceberg, and there is no doubt that I have failed to educate and raise my father. But he also has his own strengths, such as playing cards more well, such as being very righteous to his friends, etc. In fact, the above is inevitably a little complaining and suspicion of his own incompetence, if he is strong enough, can he give him a better old age, to take care of him, let him feel the love and warmth of the child to him? But I know that I am just an ordinary person, not strong enough to change things that others have never given me to give him!
The only thing I can learn from my own experience is to try to do a good job of the baseline of conscience: he supports me and I support him old. But I'm sorry I don't have the energy to give him love and care! My regrets are digested by myself, and he may have regrets in me that he can't ask for, but who can say that he has no regrets?
What reminds me is that if I have my own children in the future, I will try to avoid this regret. It may be that I will not be able to give my child good material conditions, but I will definitely give him/her love, companionship and patience, accompany him/her to grow up, play, give spiritual support and encouragement, and strive to become his/her friend, brother, buddy, so that he/she can become a healthy, happy, loving, and powerful person to become the person he wants to be, instead of making the relationship between father and son the most familiar stranger.