The 32-year-old takeaway brother who was stabbed to death by a security guard once spent 1 million to study abroad 

Text | Mi Li's mother

A month ago, a security guard in a neighborhood in Qingdao stabbed a delivery man to death.

The reason is unbelievably simple:

Xiao Li, the delivery man, wanted to ride a bicycle into the door to deliver the courier, but the security guard Lao Zhao refused to let him.

Under the quarrel between the two, Lao Zhao took out a knife from his body and stabbed Xiao Li in the chest.

The blood did not calm Lao Zhao down, he continued to stab Xiao Li in the chest, waist, back, and face, until passers-by came to stop him, the murder had lasted for a minute, and Xiao Li died as a result.

After reading this news, Mi Li's mother was stunned: Why did the security guard carry a knife with him? Why was he so angry that he stabbed the courier brother to death?

The community where security guard Lao Zhao is located clearly stipulates that delivery workers are not allowed to enter by bicycle.

The area is large, there are many buildings, even if the delivery man runs wildly, it is difficult not to overtime, once the overtime is almost a day in vain, tired and tired to earn two or three hundred, who can be willing?

At the same time, the property stipulates that as long as a delivery person enters, 50 yuan of the security guard's salary will be deducted.

With a salary of 3,000 yuan a month, how many takeaway orders will be generated in a day in the community of 3,700 owners, if you don't pay attention, the money will have been deducted long ago.

Is it worth losing two lives for the sake of money?

Lao Zhao and Xiao Li were two ordinary people who didn't know each other, but under the persecution of the algorithm, they became natural enemies.

While everyone was sighing, Mi Li's mother was surprised to find that Xiao Li, the delivery man who fell on a cold winter night, was only 32 years old and had only been on the job for 6 days.

He is not a middle-aged man who is old and young but depressed, but a serious Australian student, and his parents have spent more than 1 million yuan in order to send him to study abroad.

From a returnee student to a delivery boy who was stabbed to death, the transformation of this role is incredible.

But when Mi Li's mother took a closer look, she realized that behind this contradiction, there was actually a deep pit in ordinary family education.

Xiao Li is the eldest in the family, his parents are nearly 60 years old, and he has a younger brother who is studying in college.

For Xiao Li, his parents have always had high expectations.

As soon as he graduated from high school, his parents sent him to Australia to study psychology with the help of his family, spending more than 1 million yuan up and down.

After graduation, the whole family hoped that he could stay in Australia to work and live, and Xiao Li did just that.

But after two years of work, Xiao Li returned to China quietly, I don't know what he did abroad, but obviously, everything was very unsatisfactory.

After returning to China, Xiao Li had no idea of looking for a job, because he found his hobby - carpentry, so he wanted to make his own handmade furniture and sell it online.

That is, he decided to start a business.

But in these days, even the rich are afraid of their children starting a business, let alone ordinary families?

Xiao Li taught himself programming and wanted to design an app that sells furniture, but there was no result, so he went to do self-media to sell furniture, but it didn't happen overnight, but it was tepid for five or six years.

In the past five or six years, he has not worked, and when asked what he depends on, he said that his work savings in Australia have not been spent.

In the eyes of his friends, he lives a delicate but low-materialistic life, does not eat and drink, eats and drinks a lot, chicken, and salmon for three meals, and usually pays attention to fitness to maintain his figure.

Mi Li's mother always felt that the "low material desire" in the eyes of these outsiders was not his helpless choice under the pressure of reality?

Without anyone knowing, Xiao Li became a delivery man, and the reason for this is obvious: he is short of money.

Friends said that he never mentioned his financial difficulties, but he learned from the manager of his work site that he had worked hard in the past few days of delivering food.

"Others send dozens of orders a day, but he can send 100 orders. ”

But such a diligent Xiao Li suffered this disaster on the 6th day when he began to make changes.

But if you think about it, what did the experience of studying abroad bring him?

If Xiao Li's family has enough financial strength, then even if Xiao Li does nothing, it will be a small "trial and error cost" at most.

But the problem is that his family is not wealthy.

At least half of the more than 1 million yuan he spent studying abroad was borrowed by his parents, and until now he is 32 years old, and his family still hasn't paid off the debt.

When he was studying in Australia, he even took a year off from school due to lack of money.

A few days ago, I chatted with my best friend Vivian, she now lives in the United States, with two small babies at home, she said that in recent years, she has interviewed dozens of nannies, many of whom have children who are international students

The best thing is a nanny, who was in business before going abroad, and now the twin daughters are in the most expensive New York University, one person has tuition + living expenses of 140,000 yuan, and the two of them are nearly 300,000 US dollars.

After returning to China, he saw his father working in a restaurant and his mother working as a nanny, and the two of them combined earned only more than 7,000 yuan a month.

The family needs to live and set aside money to pay off debts, so his parents can only work non-stop when they are nearly 60 years old, which causes him to be under great pressure.

Because of this, he mentioned when chatting with friends that he did not plan to fall in love and get married, but only hoped to achieve some financial success and reduce the financial pressure on his parents.

Mi Li's mother wants to say that studying abroad is indeed a good thing, but betting on all the family's funds to study abroad is a big gamble.

In the eyes of study abroad agents, children are classified according to family assets.

The more money you have, the more countries you can choose from, and the more you have to pay to help your children.

Some institutions will even directly come up with a table of international student fees, and the annual family income corresponds to the country and school that the child can go to.

In other words, wanting to go above the ladder is not only harmful to the family, but also irresponsible to the children.

Because after learning that their parents have paid so much for themselves, children will only be more anxious to make money, and put the burden of the family on their immature shoulders early.

Lucky, they can become famous, but those children like Xiao Li, who can see their sadness?

How can it be fair to children who don't dare to fall in love and get married, just think about making money to pay off debts, and even use their lives to fill the hole caused by the decision to study abroad?

Mi Li's mother feels that it is not wrong for parents to want to give their children the best education, but once they exceed their ability, they are burying hidden dangers for their children's future.

I once saw a problem on Zhihu: I only have an income of 70,000 yuan a year, but my wife wants my son to go to a kindergarten with a tuition fee of 50,000 yuan a year.

The mother said that it was for the circle and for the growth of the child, but what Mi Li's mother thought was that if the child did not meet the expectations in the future, the mother would definitely be resentful:

Is this how you repay your parents for spending so much money?

Obviously, this is not the child's choice, let alone the pressure he is carrying.

There are also those parents who post their children's holiday bills on social platforms after the holiday, and the expenses for interest, make-up classes, research, and study tours are huge, ranging from tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands, and some parents even took out nearly a year's savings.

Parents' ears and faces will inevitably plant a seed in the hearts of children: I want to work hard to earn money and repay my parents.

No matter what stage of life a child is in, the financial pressure brought by raising a child regardless of the cost is huge.

What's more, it's not just parents but children who are under pressure.

In contrast, parents are more fortunate because their children's debts have been carried on their backs since childhood, and they have no choice.

In the report, Mi Li's mother noticed a detail, Xiao Li went to Australia to study psychology after graduating from high school.

The choice of major is not popular and not easy to employ, which also shows from the side that Xiao Li's grades in high school are not very good.

Mi Li's mother felt that if Xiao Li's parents hadn't borrowed the hundreds of thousands, even if they just let the children go to a junior college and learn technology step by step, at least they would be able to meet food and clothing with peace of mind without too much psychological pressure. Xiao Li has succeeded in his studies, married a wife and had children, and the family is happy, such a life is plain but happy.

We don't know why Xiao Li didn't tell his parents that he had delivered takeaways, maybe it was a temporary excess, maybe it was good news but not bad news, but in any case, it hid the blame he had in his heart.

In every moment of frustration after returning to China, he may have thought that if he hadn't borrowed money to study abroad, would his parents be more relaxed and he would be more comfortable.

But in the face of reality, he can only keep persisting and trying in the face of hitting a wall.

Young people with the same psychological pressure are not only Xiao Li.

Mi Li's mother has seen young people on various social platforms who dare not tell their parents after they are unemployed, go to the café every day to sit quietly, and dare to go home when they get off work, so as to pretend to go to work.

I don't dare to say it, because I am worried that my parents will be disappointed, and I am even more afraid that I will live up to everything my parents have paid.

People always say that the psychological pressure of contemporary teenagers is huge, and the source of this pressure can almost be summed up in three words in Mi Li's mother's view - a sense of expectation.

Parents expect their children to become dragons and phoenixes, so they spend a lot of money on training, so they unconsciously raise their expectations, hoping that they can get the same return for their efforts.

When children see this, they naturally want to give back to their parents, so once they fail to meet their psychological expectations, they will begin to blame themselves.

There is a lot of psychological pressure, and the performance in the exam may be even worse, and even in the face of any difficulties, I dare not open my mouth to my parents, so I can only bear it silently.

The bitterness in the child's heart will never be known.

Mi Li's mother has to admit that it is rare for Xiao Li to be able to adjust his mentality and have the courage to take off his long shirt, just like those children who went to work as clerks in coffee shops, tally goods in supermarkets, and work in bakeries after graduating from 985.

Their courage to break free from the shackles on their bodies and start their lives in another way is indeed worthy of encouragement.

However, this kind of backward compatibility can solve the urgent need for a while, but it cannot really relieve the inner pressure.

Mi Li's mother has seen a lot of posts about 985 graduates going to do grassroots work, and they feel that they have escaped from involution.

Although it does not earn much, it is enough to feed and wear;

Although the body is tired, the spirit is relaxed.

But what Mi Li's mother wants to say is that most of their children come from ordinary families, and if this exhaustion lasts for 3, 5, or even 10 years, can they still relax?

Without the support of my parents, when I want money and no money, I am afraid that it is really exhaustion.

In the final analysis, this way of lying flat is not the real solution to the current dilemma.

The dilemma that these parents and children face together is actually the problem of mentality after receiving higher education but not living an ideal life, and how to face the reality.

Not every child who is admitted to a prestigious school will definitely be able to soar, but more importantly, he or she still has to do an ordinary job and live an ordinary life.

But if parents regard money as a bet and bet on all the children to get ahead, not to mention the huge risks, once they fail, the innocent child will bear the consequences.

Mi Li's mother is not saying that she can't bother with her child's education, but she thinks that parents should not raise a child regardless of the cost.

There is no upper limit to the cost of education, and the best choice is within your means.

Without economic and psychological pressure, children can grow up without burden and move forward easily. Even if you don't make it to the Avenue of Stars, at least it will be a smooth road full of sunshine.

Mi Li's mother always believes that the most important thing in a child's growth is not money to pave the way, but to fill the heart with love. Even if there are difficulties and setbacks in the future, we can always move forward bravely with the power of love.

Personal Profile: @米粒妈爱分享 Mi Li's mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning Xi dry goods, educational experience and further education.