Once, a tragedy occurred in a community in Zhong County, Chongqing.
Two junior high school girls jumped from the 33rd floor together and fell to their deaths.
Here's the thing.
The two girls were both students at a middle school in Zhongxian County.
At around 4 o'clock in the afternoon, the two children posted a circle of friends one after another.
"I'm gone, goodbye", from the circle of friends, you can see that the child's feet are already standing on the edge of the roof of the building, and they will fall down at any time.
And the other child posted "There is no more person in the world called (my name), gone", and the child's hand has extended outward, as if saying goodbye to this world.
The saddest thing is that 20 minutes after the child posted on Moments, he jumped downstairs.
It was a tragedy that shattered two families.
I don't know what kind of struggle they have had in their hearts in the past 20 minutes.
Whether anyone sees the circle of friends and tries to win them back.
What made these two children so desperate? We don't know.
In recent years, suicide incidents among adolescents are common, and there is a trend of younger age.
arguing with parents, being reprimanded by teachers, failing to get good grades, and being scolded for making mistakes...... Even "Dad didn't let me watch TV" and "The teacher confiscated the mobile phone", which cannot be called the cause of the "incident", has become the cause of the withering of fresh lives.
When lamenting the lack of life education, we must also see the factors that cannot be ignored - our children urgently need to make up for the frustration education class.
01
An indispensable frustration education
Accepting the experience of setbacks and failures in life is a compulsory course for all of us.
The so-called resilience, also known as resilience, refers to a person's ability to deal with adversity.
Psychological research has found that in the face of setbacks and difficulties, the key to determining a person's success or failure is the level of resilience.
Strong resistance to setbacks can enhance personal vitality and enhance personal courage and wisdom to face setbacks and challenges.
Modern society is a society full of challenges, and in such a society, it is impossible not to suffer setbacks.
If students do not suffer the baptism of setbacks in school and do not have the correct idea of dealing with setbacks, they are like "flowers" in a greenhouse, and it is impossible to adapt well to society.
It is only when students suffer many setbacks in school (whether they are active or passive) and have mastered the methods of coping with them that they will be able to better adapt to society to a certain extent.
A 12-year-old girl in Yijiaqiao, Nantong, jumped to her death because she was overwhelmed by her homework and left a suicide note.
Although the suicide note is only a simple page, the sentences are heart-wrenching and heart-wrenching.
The 4 most striking characters are written on it: "I hate you".
Even the last sentence was, "Tear up my homework." ”
But from this suicide note, we can see how much pressure parents exert on their children, and parents don't care about their children's feelings, and the pressure has completely crushed the children.
Parents don't understand the tiredness of their children, and there is no one to talk about the pain in their children's hearts, so they can only choose this way to tell their parents.
02
How to do it right to the child
Frustration education?
In fact, the so-called frustration education is not deliberately to make children suffer hardship, let alone deliberately hit them and artificially create pain for them.
Frustration education is to teach children to respond positively when they encounter setbacks and failures, and take advantage of the opportunity of setbacks to take advantage of the situation, so that children can grow wiser after one thing.
So, how to properly educate children about frustration?
1. Let your child realize that frustration is a common problem that everyone encounters
Some children are depressed when they encounter setbacks, thinking that they are unfortunate and always favored by setbacks. In fact, setbacks are very common.
Some people can face setbacks head-on, and even if they encounter setbacks, they are calm.
Like many celebrities in the world, they have gone through a lot of ups and downs before they become famous, and most of them are more and more courageous.
So, don't be afraid of setbacks, and take them as blessings with makeup.
2. Help your child make the right attribution
When a child is struggling, don't belittle the child, but help the child get the cause right.
Children should be guided to think about whether their own efforts are not enough, or external reasons are unstable, etc., and they can change their own practices to reverse adversity.
Let children understand that setbacks do not necessarily affect their future life, as long as they find a way, they will be able to carry it through.
3. Improve children's life skills
Frustration education in Switzerland is to allow children to participate in labor and exercise their ability to live independently. Frustration education in the United States is to let children understand the value of labor, and to spend money to earn it themselves.
We can also let the child do some housework within his ability, such as cleaning, choosing vegetables and washing vegetables, cooking some simple meals, setting dishes, washing dishes, etc., to improve the child's self-living ability.
4. Engage in endurance training
Let your child exercise appropriately, and in the choice of sports items, you can choose items that are conducive to patient improvement, among which swimming and long-distance running are good options.
Exercise is not deliberately hard, and it is good for the body and mind, and it can also be used for endurance training.
03
Considerations for frustration education
1. Don't set up unwarranted frustration for your child, especially not casually denying your child as a person. Deal with the matter and put more effort into the solution.
2. When children voluntarily challenge and encounter setbacks, parents should give their children more inspiration and guidance from the method, and let the children solve problems and overcome difficulties by themselves as much as possible, so that children can experience a sense of success and parental care.
3. In life, there are often large and small "setbacks", at this time, parents should not think that their children are dragging their feet and do it, but should give their children enough time to think and explore, and after solving the problem, guide the children to summarize their successes, and the next time they face challenges or setbacks, the children will take the initiative to face them.
4. Control the rewards. Don't let the child make a little progress, just give too many material rewards and excessive praise, so that the child has the opportunity to enjoy more spiritual rewards after success. Too much material reward will distort the child's experience of success, and even strive for material rewards, which is very wrong.