Internal friction is the spiritual hard labor of modern people:
Some people will think about it for a long time because of a look from others;
When someone inadvertently hears a sentence, they ponder in their hearts;
Some people can't let go of the past, and they chew and torture themselves all the time.
Over time, no matter how powerful a person is, he will be dragged down by these invisible thoughts.
As stated in the book "Anti-Internal Friction": internal friction caused by self-fighting is the source of suffering.
Really smart people know how to refuse to think wildly and stop internal friction.
Insight Jun today summarized 100 ways to counter internal friction, when you start to act, I believe that all anxiety and anxiety can be healed and calmed.
01
Learn to let go
Many people live like scorpions in Liu Zongyuan's pen all their lives.
No matter what he encounters, he will grab it and carry it on his back, even if he is exhausted, he will not stop. In the end, he could only be crushed to death by the burden on his body.
Our lives are the same, there are more and more things piled up around us, and the burden on our hearts will become heavier and heavier.
Too much material has become a burden that is difficult to give up on the road of our life.
Learn to restrain material desires, start to give up, and empty useless things to make room for happiness.
Eiko Yamashita wrote in "Breaking Away": "Breaking Away, from a deep perspective, is a kind of life sorting concept that lives in the present. ”
In the days to come, learn to simplify your life and empty your heart.
Throw away these 10 visible things and change the invisible world.
1. Throw away all socks that are torn and have only one left, and are not elastic.
2. Shoes that you haven't worn for more than a year, I believe you won't wear them in the future, so it's better to throw them away.
3. Faded and distorted clothes that are too brightly colored, consider eliminating a batch.
4. If the prescription is low, don't leave it to take up space.
5. Toiletries that have not been used up for a year in the bathroom should be thrown away.
6. Broken umbrellas, raincoats, throw away.
7. Receive flyers and small cards and put them in the trash.
8. Don't eat frozen food in the freezer compartment of the refrigerator and throw it away.
9. Rusty pots and pans that have not been used for a long time should be eliminated and replaced.
10. The potted plants that have withered on the balcony are thrown away in time, the old ones don't go, and the new ones don't come.
02
Read more books against time
Yu Hua once said on the show:
"We are all people in society, and we have to follow the rules every day, and sometimes we feel very depressed.
It is impossible for people to express their emotions and desires, and sometimes you want to lose your temper but dare not do it, what should you do at this time?
You just go to the book. Reading books can reduce depression and make the mind healthier. ”
For anyone, reading books is a good medicine for blindly fighting internal friction.
If you read more books, your horizons will naturally broaden and your spirit will naturally be full.
Those things that can't be understood, the truths that can't be understood, the dilemmas that can't be solved, and other problems that can't be solved can all be found in the book.
1. Take a book with you and flip through a few pages while waiting for the bus or ride.
2. Copy a quote from the book that inspires you and read it when you're sad.
3. Subscribe to several newspapers and periodicals related to current affairs and news, learn about current affairs, and look for opportunities.
4. When your mind is not quiet, go to a bookstore.
5. Make a reading plan for yourself and read one book every month.
6. Listen to a book for half an hour before bed.
7. Xi some psychological knowledge and do professional counseling for your emotions.
8. Every time you read a book, record your reading experience.
9. Learn some ways to read books efficiently, such as reading a book, reading roughly, intensively, and often.
10. Communicate with others about reading and share their reading experiences.
03
Don't meddle in your business
Have you ever complained like this in your life:
Why didn't he listen to all I said?
It's obviously for his good, why doesn't he change it?
I told him not to do it a long time ago, he wanted to do it, I was really angry!
In the midst of these complaints, we will find that the more we want to change others, the more we will have internal friction.
As the writer Becktel put it:
When we try to change others or ask others to do something, we are asking for trouble.
Try to be as little as possible and ignore others, so that we can avoid most of life's troubles.
1. Don't point fingers at others.
2. Don't meddle in other people's private affairs.
3. Xi that others have already developed, even if you can't see it, don't try to change it.
4. Don't contradict anyone except for things that harm your own interests.
5. Don't expect someone to keep a promise made to you.
6. Don't care about other people's eyes.
7. Don't be a bad person when others don't need your help.
8. Don't pay for other people's emotions.
9. People have their own paths, don't worry about the future of others.
10. When you hear someone complaining about your boss or co-worker, don't tell them anything.
04
Anxiety and exercise
A study was published in the World Journal:
Those who exercise regularly will feel 52% happier than those who are "industrious";
Those who exercised enough felt 29% happier than those who did not.
In other words, exercise is an effective way to cure emotional anxiety.
So, when you're tired and depressed, start exercising right away.
Take a lap or two around the park, or get a good night's sleep by the gym with a hearty workout and a nice get's sleep with a hot shower.
All worries will disappear.
1. Jog for half an hour every day.
2. When you are too stressed, you can do yoga to relax.
3. Walk home early from work to enjoy the scenery on the road.
4. Swim once or twice a week.
5. When you're anxious, you can dance to the music.
6. After work, ask friends to play badminton together.
7. Go and have a good game of basketball.
8. Develop a micro-Xi, you can try to jump rope 50 times a day.
9. 走进健身房，挥洒汗水。
10. Do a few sets of stretches before bed to relax your muscles and help you fall asleep.
05
Altruism in times of pain
The writer Shuxi once said: When you are emotionally exhausted and painful, go to altruism and do good.
You may feel that helping others when you are feeling bad will only make you more miserable.
Actually, when you are thinking about altruism, you can forget all your unhappiness.
As the old saying goes: If a person does good, the blessing has not come, but the evil has gone away.
When you live yourself as a beam of light, you can dispel the haze around you, and the pain and internal friction will naturally be gone.
1. Compliment strangers you meet.
2. Participate in a volunteer activity.
3. Share your favorite snacks with friends.
4. 随手帮别人倒下垃圾。
5. When entering and exiting the door, hold the door for the person behind you.
6. When taking the bus, give up a seat to someone who needs it.
7. Listen and encourage others.
8. Communicate with others and try to keep smiling.
9. Bring an umbrella on rainy days and lend it to those who don't have one.
10. When entering the elevator, keep an eye out for anyone coming up and press the close button.
06
Alone when irritable
Someone once compared life to a glass of muddy water.
When we are in the crowd, we will only muddy the glass of water more and more, and in the end we will not be able to see anything clearly;
But when you are alone, the impurities in the water will slowly settle until the whole glass of water becomes clear.
As writer Mader said:
Only in solitude can a person's soul perceive its own clarity and brightness, and can it enjoy the vigor and vigor of life.
When you are tormented inside, give yourself space to be alone and do what you like.
Your life will be more relaxed because of this.
1. Watch TED Talks.
2. Take a hot bath to wash away the worries of the day.
3. Cook a meal you love.
4. Calming down and drawing is also a good way to decompress.
5. Keep a journal to record your mood.
6. 看几部纪录片，拓宽眼界。
7. Plant a pot of flowers.
8. Sit by the window and look at the sky and feel the passage of time.
9. Listen to your favorite music and let your fidgety thoughts drift away from the notes.
10. Flip through your previous photo albums to see who you used to be.
07
Change circles
常言道：立身成败，在于所染。
The circle around you often determines what kind of person you will become and what kind of life you will have.
When you get along with people who are full of negative energy, you will always sink into pessimism and complaining.
If you take the initiative to move towards a circle of positive energy, you will be able to walk with excellent people and become a better version of yourself.
1. Stop ineffective socializing and stay away from the drinking and meat circles.
2. Make friends with people who share your three views.
3. Have more contact with high-level people in the industry.
4. Xi more communication skills.
5. Less "knotting" and more "mutual assistance".
6. Don't go near the circle of depravity because it's hard.
7. Change the neighborhood you live in, or change your job, meet new people, and start a new life.
8. Use your existing platforms, such as journalists, authors, and consultants, to meet more powerful people.
9. Participate in various corporate talent training courses, meet like-minded people, and establish new circle contacts.
10. The most important thing is to improve yourself first, and the excellent circle will find you.
08
Take a trip
There is a question and answer on Zhihu: Why do people travel?
Some netizens replied:
After seeing the towering peaks and experiencing the magnificence of the sea, you will not be obsessed with the hardships and hardships of life.
Even in the face of life's setbacks and failures, you will be able to come back to life faster.
For those who are trapped in the trivialities of life, travel is a good medicine that can cure the thousands of ills in the heart.
When you walk on the road, see different scenery, and meet different people, you will truly feel the beauty of life.
1. Going to the top of the mountain to see the sunrise once can cure you of a lot of troubles.
2. It is also a pleasure to go to the beach and feel the sea breeze.
3. Observe a small grass on the field path, it can make you feel the exuberant vitality.
4. Once you have felt the thick history of the ancient city tower, you will not sink for trivial things.
5. After seeing the lonely smoke of the desert and the sunset over the long river, you can experience the realm of Wang Wei's poems.
6. Be sure to go to the snowy plateau once, it will help you cleanse your mind.
7. Go to see the stone bridge drizzle, the ancient road pavilion, and feel the gentleness of the Jiangnan water town.
8. Relax on horseback grazing in the vast grasslands.
9. Go for a walk in the old streets and feel the fireworks in the world.
10. For closer travel, you can choose to go camping in the countryside and enjoy the night sky.
09
Cultivate a good attitude
There is a quote in "The Power of Positive Emotions":
There are two sides to everything, as long as you don't think about the bad, most people can go for the good.
Many times, your mindset determines what kind of life you will live.
If you complain, your life will be full of gloom.
If you have a positive attitude, you can keep moving forward even if you fall into a low point in your life.
1. No matter how bad something is, think about the good side of it.
2. Don't think cranky, and advance for future troubles.
3. Engage in positive autosuggestion multiple times a day.
4. When you're feeling down, guide yourself to think of something happy.
5. Try mindfulness meditation to channel your restless thoughts into a peaceful space.
6. Watch less negative short videos and news.
7. Don't get entangled in trouble, turn the page after the incident.
8. Don't get angry overnight.
9. Do your best in everything you do, and the results will come naturally.
10. Forgive everything before going to bed and wake up with a new life.
10
Love yourself well
Some people say: The anxiety and anger of people are all mistreated.
If you're full of negative energy right now, think back to how long it's been since you've loved yourself well?
At the end of the year, how many surprises will you have in store for yourself?
When you get along with others, do you care more about yourself or the feelings of others?
Oscar Wilde once said: Loving oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Every day in the future, listen to your thoughts and care more about your feelings.
When you start to truly love yourself, you will find that life is no longer full of troubles, but hot days and loveliness in the world.
1. Develop a hobby to enrich your life.
2. Reward yourself in time for small achievements.
3. Encourage yourself in front of the mirror every day before you go out.
4. Stop blaming yourself.
5. For your birthday, get yourself a bouquet of flowers or a gift.
6. Give yourself permission to be idle and take the initiative to empty yourself.
7. Make yourself a wish list and work on it.
8. Take a set of photos of yourself as a souvenir.
9. Buy yourself a good set of skincare products and don't be stingy with yourself.
10. Accept your imperfections and accept your shortcomings.
▽
There is a saying that is very true: "The person or thing that makes you suffer internal friction is not a good person or a good thing." Don't bother, don't ask, don't make waves. ”
Let it pass, let it pass, and let it pass, let it go, and let it be sad if it does not happen.
正所谓，将军赶路，不追小兔。
By spending the time we are spending on cultivating fences and planting chrysanthemums in our hearts, we can abandon the distractions of the outside world and regain our inner peace and strength.