People's Daily: Don't "consume" children on small things! It is very important and is recommended for parents to collect it

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I saw such a video on the Internet some time ago.

A little girl accidentally dropped the bowl on the floor, and the bowl shattered and the milk inside spilled on the floor.

Next, the little girl took the initiative to pick up the bowl with only a small half left, and there was still a little milk in it, and she said to the mother next to her, Mom, you see there is still a little left. Mom, too, said calmly, you'll drink a lot less milk now.

The mother was very calm throughout the whole process, and the little girl also took the initiative to take on the task of mopping the floor.

The video is very short, but it has resonated with many netizens.

Many people say that watching this scene, they remembered that we were restless for several days because of a bowl drop, and it seemed that we were comforting the child, but in fact we were comforting ourselves who were cautious and felt like the sky had fallen.

Now that I have become a father, I will encounter similar things, and I will also have confusion about how to deal with it.

yes, what to do?

The bowl has been broken, and it is useless to ask whose question it is, rather than educating the child with a bad tone there, so that the child is full of guilt and constantly internal friction, it is better to grasp the big and let go of the small, and give the child a relaxed and relaxed growth environment.

The People's Daily once issued an article saying that not consuming children in trivial matters is the greatest wisdom of parents. I think so.

What consumes children is often some inconspicuous little things

Many times, as parents, the more we want our children to get better, the more we will unconsciously want to "guide" our children, and the more we will constantly consume our children in small things.

Like what clothes to wear, what to eat, when to write homework and what to play and what not to play, etc., obviously it's just a small thing, no matter how small it is, just wear more clothes and take it off, wear less It's a big deal to catch a cold, eat less and eat less will not be malnourished and hungry, and writing homework is the same way to write well is not something that can be done in a while and a half, and writing quickly does not mean that you can get up quickly if you want to.

When parents have been focusing on their children's small problems, and their energy has been focused on correcting their children's every move, and accompanied by accusations, criticisms and even verbal blows, it is simply a disaster for children.

They are surrounded by these negative emotions every day, so how can they grow?

Overdraft your child's energy

Psychology has a theory of cognitive load, which says that a person's brain can process a fixed amount of information every day, and if they are constantly consumed by small things such as "sit down", "hurry up and do homework", "hurry up and eat", etc., the brain will be occupied by these meaningless things, and it will be difficult to have the remaining energy to do other things that should be done.

Moreover, it is also very destructive to children's concentration when they are constantly entangled in small things, especially when children are doing their homework.

Writing homework is a process that requires a high level of concentration, constant connection to what is being learned in class, and a stimulating mind, all of which require absolute silence. If mom and dad are always disturbed by small things such as "don't write homework on your stomach" and "write quickly and don't get distracted", the child's concentration will be like broken glass, and it will be difficult to assemble it again, and the homework will naturally have no effect.

Wear out your child's enthusiasm

Psychological research has shown that children's enthusiasm for exploring things and finding the unknown is gradually accumulated through constant encouragement and being allowed to trial and error. Encouragement can give children confidence that they will succeed in the end, even though it may be tortuous. Allowing trial and error is to give children the greatest possible support, so that they can focus more on self-growth and continuous improvement.

And Mom and Dad keep accusing in small things, just like a small program on the phone, which seems to be "useful", but in fact it is constantly consuming the power of the mobile phone in the background, and as a result, the mobile phone is turned off before the serious thing is done.

Children are the same, when they are constantly criticized, they will be like a mobile phone about to turn off, exhausted, unable to concentrate on anything, unable to do a good job, and completely unable to reflect the vitality of a child.

What's more serious is that children who have been blamed for small things will be in a state of self-doubt and self-denial for a long time, which will bring considerable pressure to their lives, and this pressure will continue to amplify, and finally it will really crush the child.

To educate children, we must "have a ruler and a degree"

For parents, wanting their children to get better and seeing their children's shortcomings and wanting to point them out is the mood of parents.

But in many cases, education is not about what we want, but how we can do it so that children can become better.

We must know how to "grasp the big and let go of the small"

Grasping the big and letting go of the small means that education should be aimed at the big problems of children.

In this way, children can know their own shortcomings simply and clearly, so that they can better accept the education of their parents. And if you grab the eyebrows and mustaches, there will be no priorities, and in the eyes of the child, there is nothing to pay special attention to.

For example, when doing homework with children, what is the big problem?

The mastery and application of knowledge points is the goal of writing homework. As for the improper sitting in the process of writing homework, habitual rubbing, and the wrong posture of holding the pen, it is relatively only a small problem. It is not something that can be corrected once or twice, nor is it something that a child can remember once or twice.

Therefore, the correct way is to focus on solving the child's big problems, if you have time, you can talk about small problems by the way, and if you don't, it's nothing to put in other time periods.

Lower your requirements so that you don't consume yourself and your children

No one is perfect, and so are children.

We all hope that children can become academically excellent, well-behaved and sensible, able to do the right things at the right time, able to make parents worry-free, and preferably like adults, to do what they need to do well.

But this hope is obviously unreasonable, the reason why children are children is because they are still growing, they are getting better little by little, not that they can grow into what their parents hope all of a sudden.

Therefore, it is appropriate to lower some requirements, so as not to consume the child in all kinds of small things, give them more time, and the child will slowly become a shining appearance.

At last

Education is just that.

Mom and dad do subtraction in small things, so that children can do addition in healthy growth.

In the growth of children, focus more on important things, give them more freedom in small things, so that they can do some things they want to do, and can not be internal friction for small things, which is a good education.

Do you think so? How would you educate your child if they broke a bowl at home? Welcome to leave a message to interact!

Text: Happy Dad's Diary The picture comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please delete the private message, thank you~

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