#头条创作挑战赛#
For many years, we have often heard voices like this:
Do you want to be a well-behaved and sensible person? Do you want to make a good impression on others? Do you want to live as the envy of everybody?
We are always told that we need to be pleasing to the world around us, but we rarely hear that everyone is an individual.
Many people value the evaluation of others, live in the definition of others, as if they meet the expectations of the outside world, and can have a perfect life.
However, the reality is that other people's thoughts are not their original intention after all, and it is difficult to meet happiness in a life without self.
As it is said in "Alive": "Life belongs to everyone's own feelings, not to anyone's opinions." ”
We came into the world in a hurry, but in just a few decades, nothing is more important than how we feel.
Life can be plain and splendid, but it can't be decided by others.
For a long time, we have been climbing, changing, even wearing a mask of camouflage.
We always naively think that receiving praise from others is excellent and proud, but we forget:
If people disguise themselves for a long time, they will not only become blurred, but also lose their minds and gradually lose themselves.
Recently, Xu Xiaowei in the hit drama "News Queen" has aroused heated discussions.
Xu Xiaowei grew up in a single-parent family, relying on her mother and sister for her life, she has low self-esteem and love face since she was a child, and she cares very much about what others say about her.
When she was in middle school, Xu Xiaowei and her classmates sat on the side of the playground and chatted, and when she saw her mother pulling a trailer to pick up waste, Xu Xiaowei was worried that her classmates would look down on her, so she simply pretended not to know her mother.
The classmate joked and threw an empty drink bottle at her mother and called Xu Xiaowei to do it, Xu Xiaowei didn't want to do it, but in order not to be ridiculed by her classmates, she still threw it at her mother ruthlessly.
After work, Xu Xiaowei stayed away from her mother and sister, and lied that she was a top student who graduated from Stanford.
It wasn't until Xu Xiaowei broadcast the news and saw her sister accidentally killed that she had to admit that it was her sister.
The boss was distressed that Xu Xiaowei's sister had died, gave her financial help, and let her rest at home for two days.
However, Xu Xiaowei felt that her boss pitied her, and at the same time she was afraid that her colleagues would say that she was weak and could not withstand setbacks, so she endured the blow and sadness and insisted on going to work.
In the end, Xu Xiaowei pushed herself too hard, and felt ashamed of her sister, so she had a mental breakdown and hallucinations, and had to undergo psychological treatment.
There is a good saying: "Live in someone else's mouth, and you will only drown in saliva." Live in the eyes of others, you will only be swayed by others. ”
Caring too much about other people's evaluations is a kind of bullying for yourself.
If you are afraid of being looked down upon by others, you will deny everything about yourself, and if you are afraid of becoming someone else's voice, you will embarrass yourself again and again.
You think about it for the sake of others, but you don't think about your own feelings, are you really willing? Are you really happy?
The opinions of others could not hurt you, but your suppression and bullying of yourself buried that vivid and unique individual.
Netizen @木西 once told a personal experience:
It was when Muxi was in college, and Muxi, as a class committee, wanted to have a good relationship with everyone.
Muxi greets his classmates with a smile every time he meets, and he basically responds to other people's requests.
Once, the student president asked her to help write a paper, and Mu Xi knew that she wanted to re-Xi to prepare for the exam, but she still agreed.
Mu Xi stayed up all night to help the other party finish writing the paper, tired and sleepy, she handed it to the chairman of the society early the next morning, but the other party only said: "I invite you to dinner another day!"
As a result, the meal was not late, and within a few days, the president of the student union asked Mu Xi to help pull sponsorship, and Mu Xi endured the discomfort of his menstrual period and ran for several hours in the winter.
Later, Mu Xi really felt uncomfortable and said that he had a stomachache, but the student union president didn't care at all, and only responded: "Then you go back to the dormitory!" and turned around.
Muxi thought that if he followed the wishes of others, he would be able to gain everyone's recognition and love.
As a result, not only did her efforts not be rewarded, but she was often treated coldly, and some classmates didn't even say hello when they met her.
Gradually, Muxi got used to seeing the warmth and coldness of people, and she also saw a lot of people who were not good, so she finally came to her senses and tried to think about herself first.
When Muxi is no longer humble and flattering others, there are more people around her who really like her.
Later, Mu Xi sighed meaningfully:
"In this world, no matter what you do, there will always be two voices, don't get carried away when you listen to the good ones, and don't question yourself when you hear the bad ones, or even try to please them.
A true friend doesn't need you to please, and it's useless to be a friend to please. ”
The essence of human interaction is to attract, not to please.
No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to please everyone, and there will always be people who will not like you.
I like a sentence in "Mid-Levels Anthology":
We must allow different people to exist, we must understand the inevitability of this existence, but we must not let different beings influence and consume our own existence, and we must enrich our own differences with the differences of others.
Human beings are complex social animals, and everyone is different in other people's mouths, and since they cannot be changed, it is better to simply look down.
Accept the differences between people, just be yourself, and the people who really attract and cherish you will slowly get closer.
As for other rights and wrongs, they are just a gust of wind in life, which has come and blown and finally passed.
Not long ago, I swiped Dong Yuhui's video, and I saw him strolling through the fields in his spare time, which was quite comfortable.
That kind of indifference and tranquility, as if the disturbances of the outside world have nothing to do with him.
But when Dong Yuhui returned to work, he immediately became the controversial Internet celebrity anchor.
Dong Yuhui has been popular for more than a year, and has been praised by countless people, and has been accused and scolded countless times.
After about three months of popularity, some netizens accused Dong Yuhui of being poor in donkey skills, and scolded him in private messages again and again.
In the face of these negative evaluations, Dong Yuhui was not busy proving and explaining himself, but said wittily:
"I've lasted three months, even if I'm exhausted now, at least you've known me for three months. ”
Later, some netizens said: "Dong Yuhui is pretending to be dignified and playful." ”
Dong Yuhui still smiled calmly and said, "Thank you for your criticism! That's why I have to continue reading and cultivating." ”
Rather than paying attention to criticism and praise from the outside world, Dong Yuhui knows how to cultivate his own heart.
Outside of work, he always likes to stay alone, reading, drinking tea, being in a daze, or going back to his rural hometown to accompany his parents.
Only by calming down and talking to yourself can you gradually understand yourself and life.
Perhaps, this is the root cause of Dong Yuhui's failure to be led astray by other people's remarks.
As the saying goes: "Not being sensitive to the eyes of others, not living in other people's mouths, and being the judge of one's own life is the most rare sobriety." ”
In the world of adults, inner peace is comparable to ten thousand gold, and only in the unexpected world can we get peace in the hustle and bustle.
Writer Yu Hua was ridiculed as a scribbled puppy because he didn't pay attention to his image, and he not only didn't get angry, but also often laughed at himself with it.
At a symposium, Yu Hua attended in a suit, and a reader asked him: "Do you have so many young readers who wear a suit and have the burden of idols?"
Yu Hua replied calmly: "The suit was bought casually by my wife on Taobao, 39 yuan, and it is also a suit worn by scribbled puppies." ”
Everyone present laughed, and although Yu Hua on the stage was wearing a cheap suit, he looked very real and handsome.
Luo Xiang once said:
When people are most attractive, they don't care about everything around them.
I don't care about the evaluation and vision of others, I don't care if I have a sense of existence, I always have my own rhythm and pace, which is also the source of relaxation.
In reality, the stronger the heart, the less concerned about the evaluation of others.
There is a world in my heart, I am not afraid of other people's gossip, just forget it with a smile and a smile.
As long as you don't really look down on yourself, no one can easily deny you.
Truly living in your own world and living your own short life is the best response to the outside world.
Wilde said, "Be yourself, because everyone else has done it." ”
In this life, the rarest thing is to be yourself.
Other people's opinions and evaluations are determined by other people's cognitions and three views, and they have nothing to do with you after all.
The world has thousands of people and thousands of mirrors, spring has the red of spring, summer has the blue of summer, autumn has the goose yellow, and winter has the snow white.
Everyone has their own unique color, whether you are rich and shiny, poor and ordinary, as long as you are confident and frank enough, there will always be someone who knows how to appreciate.
Light up [Attention], may you live as your idol, not afraid of rumors, not afraid of the world, and flow freely in the river of reality.