#头条创作挑战赛#
Daughter:
When I received the news of your divorce, to be honest, I was stunned at that moment.
At first, I didn't believe it until I saw your circle of friends, and I didn't know that it was a boat.
That night, I called you 28 times, and you didn't answer.
I know that at this time, you are in great need of being alone.
Or maybe you think your mom and dad will blame you for it.
But Mom wants to tell you, "Baby, we have your support for your decision. ”
A person's life is too long, and meeting the wrong person is far more terrible than being alone.
Mom and Dad worked hard to raise you, and the reason why they persuaded you to get married is not to let you taste the hardships of the world, but to let you experience your own happiness.
Mom always thought that my baby daughter was living happily, but I didn't expect that my daughter had also learned to report good news and not bad news.
Now that you've made your choice, Mom doesn't want to ask you why.
You naturally have your own difficulties and reasons for doing this.
I just want to take this opportunity to talk to you about what Mom has to say.
First of all, baby, congratulations.
How many people have lost a layer of skin and broken their muscles and bones because of divorce.
We can divorce without delay, which is actually a great joy.
You may think that your divorce will embarrass your parents, and that's why you tell us at the end.
But in fact, my mother feels even more sorry for you for suffering for so long in the wrong relationship.
Furthermore, in this day and age, divorce is not a shameful thing.
On the contrary, it is a super brave thing.
Do you know?
Aunt Zhang, whom my mother has mentioned to you on the phone many times, knows that her daughter is also divorced.
You and Zhizhi also played together when they were young, and she is also a well-behaved and sensible child.
But she couldn't meet the right person, and in the five years she has been married to her ex-husband, the two have been arguing and tearing for three years.
If you think about it, they lived well in the first two years of their marriage.
Later, as soon as my son was born, everything changed.
The ex-husband who knew that he didn't care about his son every day, and he only wanted to play games after work, and when he encountered his son crying in the middle of the night, he yelled impatiently:
"Why are you so annoying that you don't let people sleep?"
knew that because of taking care of her son, the whole person was a lot haggard, but her ex-husband was not half distressed, and he was still counted:
"Why are you so unresponsive now?"
"Your hair is falling out all over the place, are you going to be bald?"
These words, the speaker does not know whether he has a heart, and the listener is uncomfortable to death.
I knew that I had tried to talk and quarrel with my ex-husband, but that man, every time he said that he should pay attention, it was over after he finished speaking, and there was no change in his actions.
Knowing is also the heart of a mother, seeing that her son is still young, she tries to endure it as much as possible not to worry about him.
Until something happened later.
That day, I knew that I took my son to the mall to buy milk powder, but when I checked out, I was told that there was not enough money in my mobile phone.
But she remembered that Kari obviously had more than 50,000 yuan, how could she suddenly not even have enough 1,000 yuan.
Didn't she just call her ex-husband and ask her, at first he was hesitant, and only after repeated questioning did he say:
"I was cheated on my investment. ”
50,000 yuan, I didn't expect that my ex-husband would use their shared savings to not even say hello, and he planned to hide it from her after being deceived.
At that time, I knew that for the first time, I had the idea of divorce.
Her mother, Aunt Zhang, originally advised her to think about it carefully, it is not easy for the two of them to live.
But when she saw that she was thin like that, a sadness welled up in her heart.
She knew that it must have been a hard time.
But just when Aunt Zhang agreed to know the divorce, she knew that she was soft-hearted because of her ex-husband's soft grinding.
In this way, these two people have been entangled for three years, separated and combined many times, knowing that they were tossed and almost had a nervous breakdown.
It wasn't until the beginning of last year that I finally broke away from my ex-husband completely.
On the day she went home with the divorce certificate, your Aunt Zhang breathed a long sigh of relief and prepared a large table full of dishes.
She and Zhi said:
"It's a great joy and we have to celebrate it today, so that we can live our lives in the future. ”
Mom agrees with Aunt Zhang's approach, compared to entangled with rotten people, a cool divorce is a big deal.
A wrong marriage is like a fish bone stuck in the throat, swallowing it will only scratch yourself, and cleaning it up quickly is the real relief.
We will meet many people in our lives, and none of them have a keen eye to recognize demons and monsters, and it is normal to look away.
Therefore, it is not terrible to meet the wrong person, but what you are afraid of is knowing that you are wrong but not having the courage to leave.
At this point, Mom was relieved.
You have never been an impulsive person, and making such a decision now must have been well thought out.
Mom and Dad will support you unconditionally because:
We don't care about anything but your happiness.
In the past, your mother may advise you to "be more patient", "be more tolerant", and "don't give up your family easily".
But now, mom won't.
Last month, I saw a daughter in "Gold Medal Mediation".
It's too helpless and desperate.
The Ms. Li in the show, she also wanted to divorce, but her mother was firmly against it, and what else did she say:
"If you get divorced, we will break off the mother-daughter relationship. ”
The mediator asked Ms. Li's mother:
"Have you ever felt sorry for your daughter?"
As a result, the mother didn't answer at all, but kept saying:
"If anyone doesn't quarrel, just endure it and pass. ”
Indeed, for my mother's generation, marriage is more about compromise and forbearance.
So, sometimes we also hope that you can be the same, and if you can make do with it, don't mention separation.
So much so that a lot of tragedies have been caused.
Isn't that what this Ms. Li is?
Her husband, when he was in love, would be considerate to her, but after getting married, he was suspicious every day, let her do this, let her do that.
When Ms. Li was a little slower to reply to the message, her husband would be furious, blaming her for not taking himself seriously;
Once Ms. Li came into contact with a male colleague, her husband would speculate wildly and suspect that she had other relationships with others.
No matter how Ms. Li proved the explanation, he just felt that she was "unfaithful", and the hat was buttoned up.
Ms. Li couldn't stand it anymore and filed for divorce, and as a result, her husband kept calling.
At that time, Ms. Li was driving, and kept saying "I'll be back later", but he still kept calling.
As a result, Ms. Li was distracted and slammed into the guardrail, breaking two ribs alive.
But it's already like this, Ms. Li's mother still doesn't agree with her daughter's divorce, thinking that her son-in-law didn't make a big mistake and that her daughter is too hypocritical.
Eventually, Ms. Li suffered from depression under the double torture of her mother and husband.
I remember that the mediator Li Xiaoyun said at that time:
"The most terrible thing is that everyone persuaded her not to divorce on the grounds of 'for your own good', but if this continues, does she really have a future?"
Mom still remembers this sentence, and it was then that I understood a truth:
If the children are unhappy, forcing them to continue will only push them into a darker abyss.
Only what you think is good is really good for you!
At that time, my mother secretly told herself, if one day my precious daughter wants to divorce, I will never force you.
But Mom also knows that we are only your parents after all, and we can't pay for your joys and sorrows.
Right and wrong in marriage are indistinct.
But whether you feel happy or not, this is the most direct experience.
Now that you've chosen a new direction, move forward boldly.
No matter where you go in the future, Mom and Dad are your most solid supporters.
In fact, I have been thinking about what it means to be a good mother.
When I was a child, I thought that to protect you was to be responsible;
When I grew up, I thought it would be a success to see you start a family.
Now that I think about it, maybe it's a bit one-sided, these just complete the mother-daughter fate in the secular sense.
Just like between my mother and grandmother, although there is no vigorous noise, and there is no estrangement that cannot be resolved, there is always a lack of a sense of closeness.
Of course, grandma undoubtedly loves her mother, and her mother also loves her grandmother, but it is only the love she thinks she is.
My grandmother didn't let my mother go to college because she was worried that her mother would be young and ignorant, and she would be deceived and bullied outside.
At the beginning, I didn't let my mother enter the government unit, because I hoped that my mother would have an iron job bowl, not to seek wealth and prosperity, but at least to have a stable income.
My grandmother's good intentions are well understood, so I try to follow my grandmother's wishes.
I never even told my grandmother how much I wanted to go to the university I liked, how much I wanted to see the outside world.
I also want to tell her that I regret that I have been living in the unit for 30 years, and every day is copying yesterday.
My mother often wondered if this might be the reason why my mother and grandmother were not so close.
Of course, the mother is not blaming the grandmother, nor is she deliberately estranged, but she has long been Xi to this mother-daughter relationship between superiors and subordinates, and no longer has the desire to talk.
So, after you came to your mother's world, I kept reminding myself not to impose my will on you.
One day, my mother came back from grocery shopping and saw a young mother with a little daughter treading water downstairs.
It was still drizzling in the sky, and I couldn't help but say to the young mother:
"Don't let the little girl get drenched in the rain, beware of a cold and fever. ”
But the mother said:
"She likes to play in the rain, it's rare to have a light rain today, it's okay to play. ”
The mother wanted to persuade her, but when she saw the little girl treading water and laughing happily, she immediately closed her mouth.
That's when I realized:
Many young parents nowadays actually know more about love, and they know how to understand and respect their children's ideas.
That's what mom lacks.
I used to think that helping you make decisions and choices is the best way to be a parent, but now I understand that the love that can empathize is the deepest.
So, as long as you understand that you are going to leave a painful marriage, your mother supports you 100%.
As a woman, I understand too well the blow and tribulation of a wrong marriage to a woman, and my mother hopes that you can be happy from the bottom of my heart.
Seeing your suffering, my mother was distressed;
As long as you can be free, I will be happy for you.
There are always people who ask: I don't know how to get along with my children.
Now I realize that the idea is actually very simple.
It is to be able to truly understand the child's pain, not to kidnap the emotion of "I am for your good";
It is to be able to truly respect the child's feelings, rather than "everyone else is like this, why are you different".
True parental love is to think from the child's point of view.
And this kind of love is the blessing that nourishes the child's life, and it is the strong backing of the child's life.
Mom didn't dare to say how good she was, but she was working in that direction.
Baby, the future is worth looking forward to, and for the time being, it should be considered as giving up.
There's a good saying:
"Marriage is for happiness, and so is divorce. ”
Divorce is not the beginning of a dark life, but the end of misfortune and the beginning of rebirth.
No matter where you end up, as long as you are heading towards happiness, Mom and Dad will be happy for you.
Marriage needs fate, and it will end when a fate is over, even if there is no new fate.
As long as Mom and Dad are still around, you will always be our baby.
Finally, Mom wants to say to you:
It's a pity that your previous bitter mother couldn't accompany you, and I hope we will go hand in hand in the future.
When you wake up, send a message back to your mother, your parents are already on their way to pick you up, let's go home together!