I never thought that one day I would hide the voice recorder to eavesdrop on other people's conversations, but it all started with my mother-in-law borrowing 200,000 yuan from me. That day, I was sorting out the bookshelves in the living room when I suddenly heard the sound of my mother-in-law and my husband arguing in the kitchen. As I listened, I beat the drum in my heart and quickly hid the recorder under the sofa.
"Why are you so ignorant, all the money is borrowed from outsiders!" the mother-in-law's voice was angry, "What do you think about this?"
"Mom, I did this for our family, and I'm sure I can earn it back in the shortest possible time. The husband's tone was anxious.
"Do you think she will pay you back? 200,000 yuan, that's not a small amount!" the mother-in-law's voice gradually lowered, "If you can't get it back, how will you explain it to the family?"
My impression of my mother-in-law has always been that she is a gentle and family-oriented person, she appears in my life like a warm existence, and my husband and I have always lived happily. It wasn't until this conversation that I realized that she still had so many doubts about me hiding in her heart.
I couldn't help but feel cold in my heart, and I never imagined that there would be a day when I would need to perform such a dishonorable act on an elder. My heart welled up with endless helplessness and grievances, like a bottomless lake, suffocating me.
Just when I was upset, my husband came out and saw me sitting on the couch with my head down.
"What's the matter, why are you sitting here alone in a daze?" my husband came over and took me in his arms. "Is it Mom's business? I'm sorry, I didn't expect it to turn out like this. ”
"Why did she do this to me? I have always been so nice to her, I have never minded anything. I said, sobbing.
"She is a person who values love and righteousness, and she has not had a good time in our family since she was a child, and she always treats you as her own daughter, probably because she cares too much about you. My husband gently wiped the tears from my face, "But don't worry too much, she's just worried about our future." ”
I didn't speak, but I couldn't let go of it in my heart. Maybe it's because I don't know my mother-in-law's past that I find it hard to accept her attitude. Now that I think about it, maybe I should really get to know her better, maybe this way can calm my inner turmoil and grievances.
Over the next few days, I struggled to find an opportunity to talk to my mother-in-law. One sunny afternoon, I came to the garden that my mother-in-law had planted in the yard with an umbrella.
"Mother-in-law, can you tell me what happened to you when you were young?" I asked, bowing my head and cautiously.
The mother-in-law was silent for a moment, revealing a bitter smile, "When I was young... Actually, it wasn't a big deal, but my family was so poor at the time that I always felt like I couldn't do anything to help my family. Afterward... Then I met your dad and everything was different. ”
"And what are you worried about now?" I wondered, and my heart suddenly lit up.
"It's really a trivial matter, didn't you give you the money for the old age needle?" the mother-in-law sighed softly, "You don't have to worry too much about these little things. ”
I was relieved and felt that there was infinite depth behind this sentence. Maybe my mother-in-law didn't really distrust me, but she just became very concerned because she had too few relatives. But for me, it was the first time I tried to understand her inner world, and I began to understand her deeper feelings.
In the days that followed, I would communicate more with my mother-in-law, trying to understand her past and heart. I hope that I can be her dependent, and I will be more tolerant and considerate of everything she does. Family relationships are not all smooth sailing, but as long as we are willing to understand and tolerate with our hearts, we can definitely get along.
The communication with my mother-in-law made me feel comfortable, and I thought that the conflict between us would be resolved with such communication. However, it always seems that the days are not as good as they should be. One day, when I was shopping for groceries at the supermarket, I happened to hear two aunts next to me talking about family trivialities.
"I said you, don't know that at home all day long, if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, how can you be happy. An aunt said in a serious tone.
"Yes, my daughter-in-law is a sensible and good girl, and my son is really a treasure when she marries. Another aunt said with emotion.
I suddenly became alarmed, maybe in my mother-in-law's mind, I had never been approved by her. When I got home, I was always a little uneasy, so I found an opportunity to talk to my husband about it.
"I have never dared to mention it to my mother-in-law for fear of hurting her feelings, but now it seems that there is no way to go on like this. I said to my husband.
"She's just a little worried, you don't have to worry too much about it. "My husband still seems to be excusing my mother.
I couldn't help but be a little angry, "Am I always being suspected, my hard work to earn money, and taking care of you is not enough to reassure her?"
The husband was silent for a while, and then said softly: "It's not that she doesn't trust you, it's just that she's a little stingy." ”
"Stingy?" I scoffed in disgust, "Is it necessary to be so stingy? ”
My husband didn't speak, and I looked at his expression and suddenly felt a little disappointed. Perhaps, he really can't understand the contradiction between me and my mother-in-law from my point of view.
In the weeks that followed, I couldn't resist arguing with my mother-in-law over family matters, and they became more and more frequent. Perhaps because of the guilt in my heart, I also slowly became impatient, and even deliberately avoided my mother-in-law's continuous dates at times.
My mother-in-law also noticed the change in me, and after a dinner, she whispered to me, "Son, you seem to be a little unhappy lately, is it because of my business?"
"It's nothing, it's just been a little busy lately. I didn't want to talk to her too much, so I just talked casually.
"Child, there may be some misunderstandings between us, but I hope we can still live together as before. The mother-in-law's tone was full of bitterness and helplessness.
Faced with my mother-in-law's words, I suddenly felt a little overwhelmed. Perhaps, I should sit down with my mother-in-law honestly and have a good talk. But perhaps, at this time, it is not so appropriate. Family relationships are always a delicate topic, and the tension between us seems to be getting deeper, which makes me feel a little helpless.
That evening, our family sat around the table and enjoyed a delicious dinner. My mother-in-law looked at me and finally spoke.
"You're a good girl, and I blame you. Her voice was gentle, and her eyes were full of apology.
"Mother-in-law, I also want to say I'm sorry, I should have communicated with you earlier. I looked at her gratefully, and an inexplicable warmth flooded my heart.
This harmonious atmosphere did not last long. After a few days, the mother-in-law suddenly became very harsh. She asked me about every little thing, and always asked me to explain things clearly, which made my life anxious for a while.
"Why have you been so sloppy lately, I think you must not be able to stand it if you go on like this. The mother-in-law said as she rubbed her clothes.
"Mother-in-law, I've been doing things very hard, please trust me. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my composure, "Maybe I'm not careful enough, I'll pay attention to correcting it." ”
"Why do I think your attitude is getting worse and worse, do you feel like you're hiding something from me?" the mother-in-law was keenly aware of the change in my words, "Do you think I'm taking care of things too much?"
I was stunned for a moment, not knowing how to answer. A sense of misunderstood grievance suddenly rose in my heart.
"Mother-in-law, I really didn't hide it from you, and I didn't think you were too careful. I explained incoherently, "Maybe I've been struggling a little lately, but I hope you can understand." ”
"Well, it's not that you are to blame, it's just that I've not been in a good mood lately. The mother-in-law covered her forehead and sighed, "These things are all temporary headaches." ”
I felt guilty in my heart, trying to understand her, but I always didn't know how to cross that gap in my heart. Maybe this really requires me to get to know her more attentively, rather than just superficially understanding.
For the next period of time, I chose to suffer silently and no longer have sex with my mother-in-law. I turned my anxiety into being more attentive to every trivial matter in life, and I also consciously communicated with my mother-in-law. In the process, I discovered that there were more complex emotions in my mother-in-law's personality, in a kind of contradiction that I had never seen before.
I realized that I had misunderstood her too much, and it turned out that she was also a person with a lot of worries. Perhaps, we are all imperfect, but none of this will hinder our relationship. Perhaps, this is also a kind of growth.
I have learned a lot about my mother-in-law's life, and the contradictions between us seem to be slowly dissipating. However, not long after, another thing happened that was difficult for me to accept.
During a dinner party with friends, I overheard a conversation between my mother-in-law and a middle-aged woman on the phone. The mother-in-law's tone looked very aggrieved, and there was a hint of crying in her voice: "I have no money, what do you want? Isn't the 200,000 yuan enough?"
I was completely stunned, and my heart swelled with endless anger and unacceptable feelings. Is 200,000 yuan something related to our family? I hurriedly left the table and returned home, feeling very heavy. I found the voice recorder under the sofa and passed it on to my husband with great ease.
"200,000? what's going on?" I got angrier the more I thought about it, "Didn't she just say she didn't have any money? What the hell is she hiding from us?"
My husband shook his head a little helplessly and said, "I don't know, I have to talk to my mother." ”
The next day, my husband found my mother-in-law, sat down and was silent with her for a while, and finally said: "Mom, I know you are in trouble, but you can't treat us in a deceitful way. ”
The mother-in-law was silent, tears streaming down her face, "How do you know? ”
"I'm in this family, and people can't hide everything from me. I frowned, "It's about the whole family, and you can't be arbitrary." ”
"I wasn't going to let you know, I just ......," she said incoherently, "I just wanted to make amends." ”
"But you're just making things worse!" I said, "We can face it together, not let ourselves suffer everything!"
In the days that followed, the relationship between my mother-in-law and me became even more strained, and she seemed to avoid me, only occasionally sending cryptic WeChat messages. In such an awkward atmosphere, the whole family was full of depression and unease.
I know that our family needs a complete solution, that we need to face the conflict and find a solution. But now, I don't know how to save this family torn apart by contradictions.
However, the happy vibe didn't last long. One Sunday night, as I was about to enter my bedroom, I overheard a whispered conversation.
"You can't do this anymore, it's so unfair to her. The mother-in-law's voice came.
"Mom, I know, but you also have to understand that this is very important for our family. My husband's voice was a little hesitant.
My heart started to sink and somehow I became a little nervous. What's going on? What are they talking about?
Confused, I tiptoed out of my bedroom door and listened quietly to their conversation.
"It's not fair to her, and you'll probably regret it later. The mother-in-law's voice was filled with deep concern.
"Mom, I've really done my best, it's the future of our family, I have to do it. The husband's tone revealed unspeakable pain.
I vaguely heard something about business and debt, and those words made me more and more worried. What are they hiding from me?
The next morning, I decided to face the problem head-on. I said to my husband, "I heard your conversation with my mom last night, what are you worried about? Is there something hiding from me?"
The husband was silent for a moment and said slowly: "My dear, this matter has nothing to do with you, it is a private matter of our family. We can solve everything, don't worry too much. ”
"I'm your wife, we're family, how can there be anything I don't know?" my voice carried a hint of urgency, "I want to know the truth." ”
"Our family has some financial difficulties, but I will find a way to solve it, you don't need to worry. The husband's tone was full of helplessness.
I felt mixed feelings in my heart, frustration and grievance. I don't care about quantity, I care more about communication and trust. But now, I feel that there is some insurmountable gap between us.
I need time to calm down and clear my mind. I need to think about how to deal with the problems in this family. After all, this is more than just a simple quarrel, it highlights deep questions about trust and understanding between our family members. This is a difficulty that we need to face and solve together.