Don't roll your child into a "highly educated poor ghost"
Whether children can stand out in the future depends on whether their parents have a vision and pattern.
Wisdom education is not to be led by anxiety and to build children's ability to face the future.
Author | Maple
"If only I hadn't gone to college, maybe I would have been able to settle for it, or maybe I wouldn't be so dissatisfied with myself. ”
The recent self-report of a 985 master is quite touching.
As a small-town problem-solver, crazy problem-solving, has always been regarded by her as the only way to get ahead.
And she did achieve good results.
But the highlight of her life is limited to the moment when she is admitted to a prestigious school.
As soon as she entered college, she found herself being beaten severely. Here, there are many talented and talented people, and they are just mediocre people who read dead books.
After graduating, she submitted more than 100 resumes and gradually recognized the fact that even with a high diploma, she finally moved bricks 996.
After struggling unwillingly for more than a year, she fled back to the county seat and lay down with a salary of 4,000 yuan a month.
After studying hard for more than ten years, he still has a monthly salary of several thousand when he returns.
can't help but remind people of a word that has been very popular recently: highly educated poor ghosts.
In recent years, news that you can't find a job after graduating from a prestigious school, deliver food with a high degree, and 985 waste firewood have emerged one after another.
This makes me wonder why the children we desperately rolled out end up being "highly educated poor ghosts"?
In the variety show "Heartwarming Offer 4", there is a Tsinghua master's degree named Ren Ruoyang, whose academic qualifications are very dazzling, but his performance is indescribable.
For example, at the beginning of the show, he rashly sat in the main seat where the leader sits.
When the competing groups discussed in private, he sat down directly to listen, which made people confused.
A colleague is in a hurry to work, but he keeps disturbing people on the sidelines, without any eyesight.
Once when I was doing a task, the result requirements have made it clear that the plan does not need to be designed, and the teacher also emphasized it to him.
But he still tried his best to make a plan, and stayed up all night for it.
As a result, he spent a lot of effort and was still ranked last.
His performance of "low emotional intelligence" also attracted scolding from netizens for a time.
A high degree of education is not a universal pass for a child's life.
If a child does not have the emotional intelligence to get along with others and the ability to get along with society, it is only a matter of time before he is eliminated.
Do you still remember graduating from Tsinghua University with a bachelor's and master's degree, but gnawing at Qi Ke, a scholar who has been old for more than 20 years?
Since he was a child, Qi Ke's parents not only arranged his daily life and cut off all his social interactions, but also made precise arrangements for every minute of his life in order to allow him to learn Xi without distractions.
Like a machine, Qi Ke's life is only left with non-stop learning, Xi brushing questions, and studying hard.
When he was in high school, Qi Ke's homeroom teacher reported to his parents more than once: The child's grades are worthy of recognition, but he is not sociable and unhappy, and he hopes that his parents will pay attention.
But Qi Ke's parents didn't think so, they felt that as long as the child had good grades, everything else was inconsequential.
As a result, it was these "little things" that ruined Qi Ke's life.
Qi Ke, who entered the society, because he was not good at communicating, did not understand the cooperation of colleagues, could not communicate effectively, and had poor self-care skills, he repeatedly hit a wall in the workplace, and he was fired from the institute in less than half a year.
After that, Qi Ke tried a lot of work, but he was unable to do it because of his own reasons.
He was devastated, and finally went home to become an old man, and suffered from depression because of his unwillingness.
Zhao Xiaoli, a career planner, once put forward a point of view: the workplace and school are two ways to play.
What the school wants is written grades, and the work is the ability beyond academic qualifications.
Therefore, if education is purely for the purpose of examinations and takes grades as the only assessment criterion, the children raised may be able to win the college entrance examination, but they will not be able to win the future big exam.
Xi studying and ignoring the cultivation of comprehensive ability is destined to only raise a high-scoring and low-energy child.
Douban has a "985 Waste Introduction Plan" group, and most of the members of the group are small-town problem-solvers, and they regard the entrance examination to a prestigious school as their only goal, and they are desperate to do it.
I thought that entering a prestigious school would open a new chapter in my life, but I found that I didn't have anything I loved, I didn't want to do, and I didn't know why I was alive.
There was a girl named Fang Lin in the group, and she bluntly said that after losing the pressure and urgency of the college entrance examination, and without the drive and arrangement of her parents, her heart was empty.
In the four years of college, she has been in a state of confusion.
Until she entered the society, she only felt that she was a "tool person", and she couldn't raise her interest in work, let alone have a vision for the future.
She does a job she doesn't like every day, not only is the salary level far from her ideal, but she is also pushed by 996 and KPIs.
But she has no power to change the status quo.
She said that she was a screw with no ego and numbness.
Tsinghua University and Peking University are just a process, not a goal.
The college entrance examination is just a big mountain in a child's life, and when you turn over, you still have to keep going over the mountains.
If education only focuses on the utilitarian nature of the present, ignores the prediction of future development, and overdraws children's enthusiasm and vitality on learning and Xi early, it destroys the child's stamina in the second half of life.
Ma Hongyan, a psychological counselor, once received a case.
In the two years since he graduated from Malaysia Airlines, he has found several jobs one after another, but they have not been working for a long time.
Later, he simply didn't work or go out, and locked himself in the house all day, either playing games or lying in bed.
Malaysia Airlines is not only not motivated by life, it has no energy to do anything, and it has no hope for the future.
After some consultation, Ma Hongyan found that Ma Hang was suffering from hollow heart disease, and the cause was in the family.
Because of the parents' excessive fractionalism and utilitarianism, Malaysia Airlines regards the first place in the exam as the only meaning of life.
So when he was admitted to the school of his choice, the meaning of his life was gone, and a sense of confusion occupied his heart, showing that he was decadent and rotten.
A short-sighted education cannot raise children with a future.
If it is really good for the child, don't let the learning Xi stuff the child's life and let the child become a directionless, interestless, and unmotivated learning Xi machine.
Growing up is a lifelong thing, and parents must not raise their children into a hollow person who can only learn and Xi.
Raising socially competitive children is the greatest success for parents.
And the bargaining chips of children's competitiveness are not scores, but these 4 keys.
1. Strong physique: the foundation of a child's success
Have you found that the physical fitness of this generation of children is getting worse and worse, as Yang Hua, president of Beijing Sport University, said:
"The bust circumference is getting wider and wider, but the lung capacity is getting smaller and smaller;
Getting heavier and less powerful;
There is more and more intellectual development, and the sensitivity quality is getting weaker and weaker......"
Some children, at a young age, suffer from severe lumbar disc herniation and severe fatty liver;
Some children, after a sport, suddenly collapse, are diagnosed with sudden cardiac death.
We raise children, not a fragile problem-solving machine.
No matter how good the results, no matter how dazzling the future, without a healthy body, everything is in vain.
The child is in good health, energetic, and has light in his eyes, and everything is possible.
2. Continuous Xi: Help children continue to grow
A few years after the blogger @chenxiao graduated from university and entered the workplace, the work was not smooth, the industry was seriously involuted, and there were many stressful affairs.
So, she used her off-duty time to learn a lot of Xi, do self-media, and learn investment.
This not only saved her from being laid off, but also improved her competitiveness and increased her side income.
In this era of rapid development, academic qualifications are constantly depreciating, but learning Xi ability, but children can continue to increase their value.
Therefore, our education should not teach children to take exams, but to teach them to explore, think, and discern, and strive to improve their academic Xi.
Children with strong Xi ability can continue to make progress and achieve a better version of themselves.
3. Ability to deal with people: the key to link resources
People are animals that live in groups, children who can't socialize, and it is difficult for them to eat well in society.
When Tutu's mother of Peking University talked about her parenting philosophy, she emphasized the need to cultivate children's ability to deal with people.
Because strong social skills can lead to better "relationships" and "collaboration", promoting children's progress.
If you don't know how to communicate with people, your child's life will be hindered everywhere and you will miss many opportunities.
In daily life, parents should not focus on grades, but cultivate their children's social skills and encourage them to listen, empathize and express.
If you are good at interpersonal communication, your child will be able to go further in the future.
4. A long-term goal: guide your child all the way forward
After a decade-long survey of a group of people, Carnegie found that:
Only 3% of those who have a definite goal can achieve considerable success in their respective fields;
And 97% of people who have no goals, except for the age of ten years older, have hardly improved much in work, life, and personal achievement.
Goals determine a child's future, and without goals, children are doomed to do nothing in their lives.
If you want your child to excel, parents should help their child set a goal to strive for and encourage their child to achieve it.
If there is a yearning in the heart, the child will not be depressed or withdrawn because of temporary setbacks and difficulties.
Wang Qiuyun, a family education expert, said:
"In the educational wisdom of parents, there is a hidden child in the future 20 years. But if you don't know the right way, you will lead your child down the wrong path. ”
To see whether a child is excellent or not, temporary results do not determine anything.
The key lies in what kind of strategies parents use to nurture and educate their children.
So, don't just roll the grades, roll the grades.
Broaden your horizons and find the right direction for your child's life, so that your child can go far.
Only by amplifying your own pattern and building future-oriented abilities for your children can children win in the future.
Give it a thumbs up, and please be a guide for your child, not an invigilator.