Under the dim street lamp, loneliness follows you like a shadow. Loneliness is not because of one person, but a deep loneliness that cannot be resolved. The traffic outside the window seemed to be laughing at my lonely figure. When I got home, I was in an empty room, with only the sound of my own breathing and the sound of a car horn in the distance. Loneliness is a kind of silent sadness.
Her name is Liu Juan and she is my daughter-in-law. On this day, she suddenly came to me and said with a sad face: "Mother-in-law, you see that your name is on the real estate certificate, and the child cannot go to school." "I know what she said is true, this is a house in my name and my son's name, she can't get a hukou, and my child can't go to school. Looking at her helpless appearance, an indescribable feeling welled up in my heart.
"Then save up and buy it yourself. "I'll be blunt.
A look of disappointment flashed in her eyes, but it was quickly replaced by determination.
"I know, thank you, mother-in-law. She smiled reluctantly and turned away.
She's not a good daughter-in-law, but she's not a bad person either. Our conflict, which begins as a small thing, gradually evolves into a conflict about family, responsibility, and love. My son and I don't get along, but she always intercedes for him, which makes me feel very unhappy. However, she is my son's wife, and I cannot reproach her too much. Now, she made this request again, and I couldn't calm down.
"Liu Juan, you come back. I hesitated for a moment, but finally said, "I want to discuss this matter with your son." ”
She looked at me with gratitude in her eyes.
I know my son won't agree, he's been disappointed in her to the extreme. All these contradictions seem to be because of Liu Juan, but in fact, it is because of me.
Loneliness is not because of the existence of isolation, but because of the inexplicable despair in the heart. I was afraid to face my son, afraid to see the disappointment in his eyes, and even more afraid to see him intercede for Liu Juan.
However, I know that I have caused all of this. I refused to accept my daughter-in-law, and I made the relationship between my son and daughter-in-law so strained.
I wanted to save everything, but I didn't know where to start. It wasn't until this moment that I realized that loneliness was not the helplessness brought about by reality, but the longing of my heart for the warmth of family.
"Son, let me tell you something. "I feel extremely heavy when I think back to the conversation I just had, but I know that this is the only way out for me.
"What's wrong?" my son's cold attitude towards me made me hesitate.
"About the daughter-in-law......" I said. After I finished speaking, my son's face turned gloomy for a moment.
"Mom, are you calling the shots for her again?" the son said with a hint of dissatisfaction.
"No, I know I used to have a bad attitude towards her, but I found that there were many problems in our family, and she could not afford it alone. "I tried to get my son to understand what I meant.
But she ...... "My son wanted to say something, and I interrupted him."
"We need harmony as a family, not conflict between you and me. "I was a little excited, and these words were also a relief for me and my son.
"Well, I'll talk to her. The son's expression was a little hesitant, but he finally agreed.
"Liu Juan, let's sit down and have a good talk. "I tried to keep my mind calm and looked at her.
She was visibly aware of the change in me and was slightly stunned, then nodded and sat down on the couch.
"Liu Juan, I want to say I'm sorry for the contradiction between us. I took a deep breath and finally spoke.
She looked up, a flash of surprise flashing in her eyes, but quickly stopped again. I know that this is the grievance and dissatisfaction she has accumulated over the years.
"Mother-in-law, I know that you are dissatisfied with me, maybe in your eyes, I have never been able to be a good daughter-in-law. Liu Juan's voice revealed a hint of helplessness.
"No, it's not your responsibility alone. "I tried to steer the conversation to a deeper question.
The conversation between us didn't go well, Liu Juan complained a lot, and I expressed my concern about her. It's rare that in this conversation, we actually have a trace of resonance. Perhaps, we are all victims, hurt by complicated family relationships.
"Liu Juan, can we start all over again?" Looking at her, I suddenly felt that this girl was not bad, she had just been trying to adapt to the family.
"Mother-in-law, I don't want to be an enemy with you either, I really just want my children to have a good life. There was a hint of anticipation in her eyes.
The dialogue between us brings each other's hearts closer. The conflict in the family is not actually who is right and who is wrong, but a series of complex emotional collisions. I began to understand that my relationship with my daughter-in-law was deeper than I had thought at first.
Just when I thought that the conflicts in the family would gradually ease, a new storm struck.
"Mom, I have discussed with my daughter-in-law that we will sell this house and buy her a new one. My son said to me with a resolute expression.
I was so shocked by the sudden news that I didn't even think about it, and my isolated heart began to waver again. This house is not only our property, but also the embodiment of the conflict between me and my son and daughter-in-law. I didn't know how to deal with this decision, and I was very torn inside.
"Mom, what do you think?" my son looked at me earnestly, and I could feel his determination.
"This is our home, not an item that can be disposed of. "I tried to make my son understand my struggle.
The son's brows furrowed even tighter, "Mom, this is not just a house, but also a reconciliation of our family." ”
I can't argue with my son's words, because I know what he said is not unreasonable. But, deep down, I still can't let go.
Home is a more profound connotation in addition to the material. This house carries too many emotions, it is not just a building, but a symbol that carries the tradition and blood of our family.
Watching my son walk into Liu Juan's bedroom, I felt a pang of sadness. Our family's problems have not been completely solved by this conversation, but the flame of contradiction has been suppressed, but the storm in the future may not stop.
A few days later, Liu Juan suddenly took the child back to her parents' house. I called my son and he didn't know where she had gone. The mood fell into complete loss and anxiety. If the child is out alone, can she take care of the child? Does she have to leave for the sake of the real estate deed?
I was anxious to know about Liu Juan, but I had nowhere to know. Every lonely night, I think about her, whether she and the child will be hurt. I began to regret my harsh treatment of her, and I shouldn't have allowed family conflicts to be resolved in this way.
After a week, Liu Juan finally returned, and the child stayed at her parents' house. She entered the room without saying a word, and even my mother-in-law ignored her. Seeing her look, my heart was filled with guilt. I should talk to her and untie the knot.
"Liu Juan, you're back. I walked over and whispered.
She looked up, with determination and determination in her eyes.
"Mother-in-law, I decided not to. I can't live in this house anymore. Her voice was full of exhaustion and helplessness.
"How can you do this!" I was a little flustered, and I couldn't help but exclaim, "You're running away from the problem!"
"It's not about running away, mother-in-law, it's about protecting the children and yourself. Her voice was full of determination.
I can't go on any more. Liu Juan walked straight to the bedroom, picked up her luggage and began to pack.
When my son returned, his eyes were full of confusion and disappointment. I know that he also tried to find Liu Juan, but found nothing.
"Mom, she's really gone. There was pain in his son's voice.
I shook my head, all of this was the trouble I was giving them. The home suddenly fell silent, and the feeling of loneliness came over me again.
My relationship with my daughter-in-law and son gradually eased, and my family became calm for a while. However, an unexpected event shattered the tranquility once again.
One day, I went to discuss some trivial matters with my daughter-in-law, only to find her sitting quietly on the sofa alone, her face covered with tears, and she looked very upset. "Liu Juan, what's wrong with you?" I walked over and asked with concern.
She was silent for a moment, then said something that shocked me. It turned out that the son had recently run away from home, and he had left a letter saying that he was going to leave for a while to deal with his own problems. I sat across from her in amazement, unexpectedly because the family conflict that had been eased had become complicated again.
"Mother-in-law, I was so overwhelmed that he left the house so suddenly. Liu Juan's voice was filled with deep helplessness and sadness.
I was shocked, but I didn't dare to express my inner loss. I was expecting a thaw between my son and daughter-in-law, but now he's gone. I feel like a lost old man who has been struggling with family problems, unable to solve family problems, and still causing trouble for his children.
I comforted my daughter-in-law a few words, and then told her that we must find our son and not leave a knot in the family. I didn't know where to start, but I knew that we shouldn't let my son lose himself out there, and we should get through it with him.
That night, as I sat down in the living room with my daughter-in-law and son, I tried to calm my expression and began to talk about my innermost conflicts. I said a lot of things that I hadn't been honest with before, I don't want to live in arguments forever, I don't want to be haunted by loneliness, I want us to be able to live together like a family.
But what I didn't expect was that my son started to behave very tough and cold, and he didn't even want to listen to my advice and made a request to move out of the house. This feeling of not being able to communicate makes my heart twist, I don't understand why he is so ruthless, can't we get along well as a family?
The family atmosphere became extremely awkward and tense, and the relationship between me and my daughter-in-law did not improve. Every day, the family atmosphere becomes heavier and heavier, as if everyone has become strangers against each other, and feelings of loneliness and helplessness come to my heart.
Then I began to become negative, and the inner contradictions and unsolvable pain were so heavy that I could hardly bear them. I struggled to hide my emotions, but gradually found myself more and more overwhelmed, and I desperately needed a way to vent and relieve the stress inside.
And now, I can't get along with my family as much as I used to. Yes, I have made many efforts to make my family live in harmony with my heart, but I have not seen the best of both worlds, and this pain torments me and makes me feel helpless and lonely. I don't know how all this conflict and entanglement will end, but I do know that I have at least done everything I can.
Many days passed, Liu Juan seemed to have a lot of words missing, and her son's face was more helpless. I know it's not because of that conversation, it's because something unpleasant is happening at home.
Liu Juan's parents came to us and said they wanted to take Liu Juan and the child back. I know that she has been reluctant to leave this home all these years, but at this moment, her expression is extremely resolute in the face of her parents' request.
"I'm not leaving. She told her parents, "My child is already in school here, and I don't want to leave." ”
I was surprised and a little distressed by this. She wasn't happy with us, but I also understood that a family's conflicts can't be solved simply by leaving.
"She's leaving you, you don't have to worry about her. My son said to me, "That's fine, we can finally be free." ”
But I know that liberation is not true atonement for sin. The conflict in our family may be temporarily subsided because of this, but the core problems of the family have not been resolved.
I don't know what to say, I just don't think it's a happy ending. Until now, I don't know what happened in our family that got us into such a deep predicament.