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Text | On Yun Xuan
Edit | On Yun Xuan
Some time ago, a netizen complained about his mother-in-law on the Internet, but he didn't expect it to resonate with countless compatriots.
The reason for the incident is that the mother Xiao Tang (pseudonym) and her husband have just gotten married, and they go on business trips from time to time for work reasons, and the house is always in chaos.
Sometimes the young couple works overtime too late, and they don't want to cook so they have to order takeout, which is known to the mother-in-law at home, and no matter what they say, they have to come to the house to help with housework.
They couldn't resist their mother-in-law, so they could only call her mother-in-law from her hometown and give her some living expenses every month.
A few days after her mother-in-law came to the house, Xiao Tang felt that her mother-in-law's visit was the right decision, because the couple could have a hot meal after work, and her mother-in-law would also help them wash their clothes, which was very intimate.
But within a few days, Xiao Tang found that the dishes and chopsticks on the dinner table were always greasy, and sometimes she could even touch a hand of red oil, which made her want to vomit.
But because she is a bride, Xiao Tang can't directly refute her mother-in-law's face, she can only secretly wash the dishes and chopsticks, otherwise she will quarrel with her mother-in-law, and her husband will be embarrassed to be caught in the middle.
Several times in a row, the dishes and chopsticks at home were like this, and she couldn't stand it, so she went to the kitchen to check while her mother-in-law was washing the dishes.
As a result, when I saw my mother-in-law washing the dishes, she simply washed them with a sponge and hot water, and I didn't even see a shadow of dish soap foam in the sink.
Xiao Tang immediately understood the reason why those dishes and chopsticks were greasy, and she implicitly told her mother-in-law that the current dish soap is very safe, as long as it is washed with water, it will not be toxic.
But the mother-in-law thinks that she has been washing dishes like this for decades, and the family has not said anything wrong, plus the family has not been infected with diseases, so she thinks that Xiao Tang is making a fuss.
Xiao Tang, who was deflated from her mother-in-law, told her husband about it at night, but her husband accused her of having a lot of things to do and looking for her mother-in-law for no reason, as if it was normal for her mother-in-law not to wash dishes with dish soap.
Her husband's remarks made her feel aggrieved, and the more she thought about it after crying for half an hour, the more angry she became, so she posted it on the Internet, hoping that netizens would help comment on it.
As a result, many netizens ridiculed her:
"Do you think your mother-in-law can't wash it clean, so she washes it herself, and you don't want to wash the dishes and blame others for not washing it clean, why are there so many things?"
"Buy yourself two bottles of dish soap and wash them yourself. ”
"If you don't do it yourself, don't ask others, if you wash the dishes and your mother-in-law won't let you use dish soap, you can still argue. ”
There are a lot of extreme words in the comment area, but there are also some kind netizens who help Xiao Tang speak:
"You say she's not clean, she sometimes pays special attention to it, she says she's clean, but the truth is that it's not clean. ”
"I hate people like this the most, it's dirty. ”
"I can't stand it, people who love cleanliness will go crazy when they meet people who don't pay attention to hygiene. ”
In fact, we only need to empathize with each other to understand that the meals of the older generation are not much oil and water most of the time, except for the meat that can be eaten during the New Year, so they simply rinse with water, and the dishes and chopsticks will become clean.
Moreover, in their opinion, dish soap is a chemical product that can remove oil, and if they can't wash it cleanly, they will get sick from eating, and they will feel very uncomfortable.
The housework at home is done by the mother-in-law alone, it is inevitable that there will be some places that are not too much attention, if we as a younger generation can not stand it, in fact, we can also take the initiative to wash the dishes, so as not to hurt the harmony of the family because of a little thing.
Whether a family is doing well or not depends mainly on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if only one person changes himself, and the other person is still stubborn, the family is destined to be unstable.
It is said that "good mothers-in-law can be met but not sought", and those mothers-in-law who have bad Xi and are repeatedly taught are the ones who make daughters-in-law the most desperate.
A mother attaches great importance to her children after becoming a mother, but what she encounters in real life makes her very headache.
She said on social platforms that when mothers and mothers-in-law help with children, they are Xi to put food in their mouths and chew it first, and then feed it to the children's mouths, only in this way can they feel that the children will not choke.
In fact, she also proposed to her mother and mother-in-law at the beginning to stop feeding the child chewed things, because the germs in the mouths of adults may infect young children, but the elders did not take this matter to heart.
Not only that, but the mother also found that the elders would chew up what the child could eat and put it in the child's mouth, which was unacceptable to her.
She can't live separately from her elders now, and it is impossible for children and elders not to have contact for the rest of their lives, although she knows in her heart that the old man loves children, but she really can't accept this behavior of the elders.
In fact, not only this mother has encountered similar things, in fact, there are many mothers like her, facing the situation of the old man's repeated persuasion.
"My mother-in-law's family feeds their children like this, and even my husband's brother's family is the same, but fortunately I didn't bring the children to them. ”
"My son's grandfather also wants to feed my son like this with a spoon, I just took the spoon away and let my son eat it himself, but his grandfather was still angry!"
"My mother-in-law said that both of their children were fed like this, and when she has no teeth in the future, let her daughter feed her like this, how you want to feed her, but don't feed my son like this!"
In fact, in addition to many mothers-in-law in real life, they will chew food and feed their mothers-in-law, even the mother-in-law of celebrities is no exception.
Like the previously popular couple Xian Suyuan and Chen Hua, the woman is 18 years older than the man, and gave birth to a well-behaved and lovely daughter for the 25-year-old Chen Hua.
Perhaps Chen Hua's psychology is not mature enough, the husband and wife often quarrel, and later the two also went to find a third party to mediate this conflict, but the effect was minimal.
Fortunately, Chen Hua's mother came to the middle of the young couple when the psychological defense line of the two gradually collapsed.
Chen Hua's mother skillfully brought up her granddaughter, but as an older generation, her parenting style is really different from Xian Suyuan's parenting views, and her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law insist on each other, and occasionally quarrel with each other.
When the family was happily eating, Chen Hua's mother directly put the chicken into her mouth, probably wanting to chew the chicken so that she could feed her granddaughter, but the startled Xian Suyuan quickly calmed down.
She first signaled to Chen Hua with her eyes, and then pushed Chen Hua's arm, wanting Chen Hua to stop her mother-in-law's next behavior.
Although Chen Hua said the words "there are bacteria in the mouths of adults" in time, her mother-in-law insisted on feeding her granddaughter chicken, and Xian Suyuan, who didn't know how to refuse her mother-in-law, could only keep holding her daughter to dodge.
Fortunately, her daughter Huizhen faced the chicken handed by her grandmother and chose to shake her head to avoid it, and her mother-in-law put down the chicken in disappointment.
I have to say that the way two generations bring up a baby is indeed prone to contradictions, adults chew food and feed it to the child's mouth, can this be done?
Of course not, because some adults may have Helicobacter pylori, and children may become chronic gastritis and other diseases after infection, and mothers will not have time to cry at that time.
If you want to feed your child, you can feed your child with clean and sterilized baby utensils, which will not hurt the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and can also protect the child's health.
As we all know, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to mediate, and every family will face two choices: help the wife or help the mother?
But Tang Li, a mother-in-law from Fuyang, Anhui Province, has gained 6.46 million fans because of her careful care of her vegetative daughter-in-law, so how good is she to her daughter-in-law?
In April 2020, her daughter-in-law Han Wonwon needed to be hospitalized due to cerebral hemorrhage, and after she underwent three craniotomys, although it was not life-threatening, she could only lie on the hospital bed as a vegetative person.
originally thought that Han wonwon's husband and mother-in-law would give up on her and live a better life, but they chose to take turns taking care of them day and night, taking care of Han wonwon very carefully, which also made a miracle happen to Han wonwon.
Half a year later, Han Wonwon slowly woke up, but she could only communicate with Tang Li with her eyes, but fortunately, Tang Li spent two years helping her go from being able to speak only to being able to speak to people now.
Tang Li posted the changes in the past two years on his social account, and netizens also changed from lamenting the recovery of Han won to praising Tang Li sincerely, and called him "China's good mother-in-law" and "a loving family on the whole network". ”
Han Wonwon faced Tang Li's unsparing love, and she once said a sentence that touched Tang Li the most: "You didn't give birth to me, but you raised me." ”
But what the mother-in-law thinks about is the recovery of Han wonwon, she is happier than everyone else, and everything she does is worth it.
The prejudice of "evil mother-in-law" came to naught in Tang Li's body, and she and Han Wonwon also let everyone witness the extremely precious mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
Although Han Yuanyuan's speech is still slurred, she can eat independently and walk slowly with the support of her family, which is enough to show her mother-in-law's good intentions for her.
Although this small family has suffered misfortune, but the mother-in-law Tang Li and Han Wonwon are a family, she thinks that only by not abandoning her daughter-in-law is the responsibility that she should bear as a family.
It is said that there are many tribulations in people's lives, in fact, as long as we look down, we can find that happiness is actually at our hands, it is waiting for us to explore and cherish.
After all, people's hearts are flesh and blood, and if you are willing to treat each other sincerely, then your daughter-in-law will also feel it.
There is a good saying: "Mother-in-law is not a mother-in-law, let alone an opponent." ”
On the premise of not changing the other party's Xi, be more tolerant and considerate, then it is difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to quarrel with each other.
I hope everyone can understand the difficulties of mother-in-law, and mothers-in-law should also understand the hardships of daughters-in-law, after all, treating daughters-in-law well is equivalent to treating themselves when they are sick.