My old aunt, Grandma Zhang, is 73 years old this year, and because she is old and has no children at home, I often visit her at her house and help her do what I can. But one day, when I went to her house, I saw a scene that made me feel a little uncomfortable.
At that time, as soon as I entered the door, I heard my grandmother's voice: "Xiao Wang, come and wash my feet!" He was twisting the faucet impatiently, and said reluctantly: "I'm not stupid, what are you doing here, and I'm not a member of the family." Hearing this, I hurriedly stepped forward to persuade: "Auntie, you move by yourself, I see that Xiao Wang's hands are busy." Grandma Zhang suddenly retorted: "His obligation!"
I didn't understand, so after dinner, I found a chance to talk to Grandma Zhang alone. It turned out that this Xiao Wang was a male nanny temporarily hired by Grandma Zhang, and she had already done some things for her at home. Grandma Zhang tested Xiao Wang's attitude towards her in this way, and consciously or unintentionally regarded him as her own family. And Xiao Wang's dissatisfied performance also aroused Grandma Zhang's disgust. Seeing this situation, I decided to help my grandmother find a long-term nanny, and at the same time dredge the relationship between her and Xiao Wang.
Although I know that Xiao Wang is only doing things for money, I can understand his inner dissatisfaction and reluctance. And Grandma Zhang's behavior is actually because of her inner loneliness and the desire to be taken care of. But when family relationships are distorted because of interests, family disputes and conflicts will follow. I think I should help her and make the atmosphere in the house more harmonious.
A few days later, I found a long-term nanny to arrange for Grandma Zhang, this nanny is named Sister Wang, and she is an amiable middle-aged woman. Sister Wang chats with her grandmother every day, helps her clean and cook, and helps her wash her clothes, and Grandma Zhang is very satisfied with her. As the days passed, the atmosphere at home became much more harmonious, and Grandma Zhang became much happier.
However, just yesterday, when I went to visit Grandma Zhang, I overheard some unspeakable conversations. At that time, I walked to the door and heard Grandma Zhang and Sister Wang arguing. Grandma Zhang's voice trembled and said, "You made a mess of my room, and I don't know where to put things." And Sister Wang kept explaining: "Auntie, I'm here to help you tidy up better." "I can't help but be a little worried, afraid that such a quarrel will make Grandma Zhang's mood unstable again.
So I decided to find a time to talk to Grandma Zhang alone to find out the specific reasons and her thoughts. From Grandma Zhang's mouth, I learned that some things at home during this time did bring her a lot of trouble, she often showed a low mood and anger, although with the help of Sister Wang, it was difficult to avoid some friction between them after all. In the face of these quarrels and contradictions, I was really helpless. Over the years, she has had a hard time, so she has invested too much emotion in every bit of her family.
In my conversation with Grandma Zhang, I tried to present my views to her in a calm manner. I told her that as an elder, she should also be more tolerant, after all, the nanny at home is also to make her life more convenient. But Grandma Zhang complained, "Why should everything be done the way someone else's way? "I looked sadly at my grandmother, who seemed to be venting her anger over the hard fate she had been working through.
These contradictions and disputes do not seem to be resolved in a short period of time. I knew that I needed more patience and wisdom to help her solve these problems and make the family atmosphere more harmonious.
Soon after, I found a long-term resident nanny named Aunt Wang. Aunt Wang is an amiable middle-aged woman who takes great care of Grandma Zhang and respects her very much. I hope that Grandma Zhang can establish a family-like relationship with Aunt Wang, so that she will no longer casually treat the hired nanny as family.
However, things didn't go the way I expected. Although Aunt Wang is duty-bound to take care of Grandma Zhang with all her heart, Grandma Zhang has always had reservations about her. Whenever Aunt Wang took the initiative to do some housework or take care of her, Grandma Zhang always said "no need", but her eyes showed anticipation and help. I saw it in my eyes and sighed in my heart.
The conflict at home has not been alleviated by the change of nanny, but has become more complicated. Another day, I went to visit Grandma Zhang, only to find that she was arguing with Aunt Wang, and it turned out that a priceless Ming Dynasty porcelain from the family was missing. Grandma Zhang always thought that Aunt Wang did it, and Aunt Wang complained aggrievedly. "After so many years, can I still rest assured about my grandmother? I have always treated my grandmother as a relative, how could I do such a thing?" Grandma Zhang's face suddenly turned pale with anger, and her words were full of accusations and distrust.
I think this may be a nightmare for Grandma Zhang, a home, sometimes needs not only material support, but also spiritual nourishment. I decided to find a solution to this conflict.
Despite my efforts to find a long-term nanny to help her, Grandma Zhang experienced some more and more abnormal behaviors. She began to ignore the babysitter I had arranged for her and became more dependent on Xiao Wang. Every time I went to visit her, Grandma Zhang always frankly refused, saying that I didn't need to worry about it. It made my heart ache a little, but I knew it was all due to her loneliness and vulnerability.
Time flies, and it's another winter evening. I went to Grandma Zhang's house as usual. It was a special day because I heard the arguments between her and Xiao Wang. Walking into the house, I saw Grandma Zhang's old face with tears stained, sobbing and complaining about Xiao Wang. I sighed in my heart, this should be another misunderstanding between Grandma Zhang and Xiao Wang, I have to untie this dead knot quickly.
"Grandma, what's wrong with you, why are you crying?" I quickly found a chair to sit next to her.
"Xiao Wang, he... He hit me!" Grandma Zhang's voice trembled, her finger pointing at Xiao Wang, her eyes full of fear and anger.
Xiao Wang stood aside, his face pale and helpless. He stammered and explained, "Auntie, I really didn't hit you, I just touched your hand, and I know my identity and responsibility." ”
Hearing this, I was also a little stunned, and I didn't know who to believe. But I looked at Grandma Zhang's hand, and I saw a bruise on the back of her hand, which looked quite new. Seeing this situation, I secretly wondered in my heart that this seemed to be another dispute caused by a misunderstanding between the two parties. I sighed deeply and decided to have a good chat and solve this misunderstanding.
I found a young female nanny, her name is Miss Liu, she is very patient and attentive. I hope to take this opportunity to ease the relationship between Grandma Zhang and Xiao Wang. Miss Liu takes care of Grandma Zhang every day, washes Grandma Zhang's feet, cooks, cleans, and is also very respectful and courteous to Grandma Zhang. But something I didn't expect happened, Grandma Zhang's attitude towards the new nanny was too intimate. She often gave Miss Liu some overtime pay, and often asked Miss Liu to sit down and chat, and held Miss Liu's hand when she had nothing to do, affectionately calling her "Little Liuzi". Xiao Wang was very dissatisfied with this, and began to complain that Miss Liu was an "imaginary friend", and her loving attitude towards Grandma Zhang was pretended. This situation made me feel very difficult, and I didn't know how to deal with this conflict. I realized that things could get more complicated and that a better way to mitigate this contradiction needed to be found.
Soon, I found a long-term nanny named Aunt Liu, who got along well with Grandma Zhang and was very attentive to her. However, new problems have arisen. Grandma Zhang began to frequently complain that Aunt Liu was not careful enough in her housework, and accused her of stealing some things from the house. I understand that this is actually because Grandma Zhang is old and often forgets things somewhere, which leads to misunderstandings. But I can also understand Aunt Liu's anger and grievances at these accusations.
Once again, the conflict in the family has deepened. I didn't deal with it for a long time, so that Grandma Zhang felt that I didn't care enough about her, and Aunt Liu felt that she had been wronged. I sat on the edge of the bed in Grandma Zhang's room, thinking about how I could help her and Aunt Liu resolve this conflict. Family conflicts often arise, but we always hope to resolve them as soon as possible and restore family harmony. The intricacies of this relationship require thoughtfulness, and I need to find an appropriate way to address this crisis.