I remember watching a movie a few years ago, and I can't remember the name, but the problems presented in it are very worthy of reflection.
The story goes something like this: In Switzerland, a family of four goes on vacation together in a snowy mountain resort. The eldest son is less than ten years old, and the younger son is still in his arms. They stayed in a beautiful hotel surrounded by snow-capped mountains, and it seemed that the family relationship was not bad, the husband and wife had affection, and the brothers had feelings. One afternoon, when they were enjoying a family's cosy lunch on the outdoor deck of the hotel restaurant, there was a sudden loud noise next to them, and everyone was stunned. Someone next to him shouted: "It's an avalanche, run." I watched the snowball roll down from the top of the mountain, getting bigger and bigger, rolling faster and faster, rolling closer and closer. Only then did everyone react and flee in all directions. The father of the family also ran away on his own like a rocket. And the mother is still leading the child in her hands, she can't run away at all, looking at the big snowball rolling in, and then looking at the father who ran away by himself, the mother is desperate, so she can only pull the child to hide under the table for refuge.
Just as it was about to start, the big snowball stopped, stuck somewhere, and only a little wind with snow slag scattered around. There was a false alarm, and there was no loss of people and things. After a while, the people who had run away returned to the table one after another, and continued to drink and laugh and talk. Dad also came back and asked if the kids were okay? Didn't say anything more.
It seems to have passed in a very short time. There was no difference on everyone's face. But in fact, in my mother's heart, it has turned upside down. It's hard for mom to accept this reality, although she is usually a little unenterprising, but the husband who is good to her children is good to herself, when the avalanche comes, she left his wife and children and ran away alone, can she still live with such a selfish, timid, and irresponsible boy in the future?
This is a sharp question, and later friends who also came to the vacation also had different opinions after understanding, female friends said: "When the catastrophe comes, flying alone, this is an unforgivable quality problem, such a man has revealed his true nature, how can he expect it?" In the future, if he encounters the hardships of life, he will definitely leave his wife and children and run away by himself, so your marriage cannot continue." And the male friend said: "Your husband is a stress reaction, an unconscious behavior under emergency and special circumstances, you can't think that this is the characterization of him as a person, isn't he usually very good to the child?" has a good personality, I really shouldn't divorce and let the child lose his father".
Listening to these opinions, my mother was embarrassed.
The situation described in this film is very special and atypical. When I take it out and share it with my friends, I usually hate that dad and grit my teeth. But I don't think this stress response can judge the person's absolute selfishness and irresponsibility. The point is that as a wife, whether you want it or not, what should have happened has happened, you have two children, and this husband usually behaves okay, and there is nothing wrong with it. So, next, do you think about it or not? Think about it, do you know how to do it?