What traps children in "love": what is not available to teenagers, they have been pursuing all their lives

I just finished watching the movie "Wading in the Sea of Wrath", which is violent, exciting enough, and worthy of being a movie that needs to be marked in the trailer as "recommended for 18 years old and over to watch".

The story is about a middle-aged man Jin Meteorite (played by Huang Bo) who makes a living by going to sea to fish, saving money for his daughter to study in Japan. However, the bad news came that her daughter Cortana was killed in Japan.

Lao Jin communicated with the police and learned that Xiao Na was stabbed 17 times, but she did not die on the spot, but was locked in a hotel cubicle for four or five hours, and finally bled to death. What's even more terrifying is that Xiao Na was suspected of being sexually assaulted by many people before her death.

And the biggest suspect in the homicide case is Xiao Na's boyfriend, Li Miaomiao.

Image credit: Wading through the Angry Sea trailer

When such a thing happens, any parent is bound to bring the murderer to justice. However, Li Miaomiao's mother Jing Lan (played by Zhou Xun) took advantage of the time difference in the police investigation to send her son to Europe in an attempt to help her son escape the punishment of the law.

In this regard, the Japanese police could not do anything, so the isolated Lao Jin decided to cross the boundaries of the law and avenge his daughter with his own hands.

Image source: Wading through the Sea of Wrath poster

At the movie roadshow, an audience member asked such a question: Does Lao Jin really love his daughter?

In her opinion, Lao Jin did not love her daughter so much, but regarded her as her own property. Someone violated his possessions, so his crazy revenge was only for himself.

Huang Bo also replied: "Lao Jin thinks he loves his daughter very much. ”

Therefore, for this issue, from the director to the actor to the publicity, the conclusion has actually been made. In the film, all the characters ask Lao Jin clearly: "Do you really love your daughter?" and "Actually, you don't love her at all." ”

Image credit: Wading through the Angry Sea trailer

However, a simple sentence of "not loving" does not actually explain all of Lao Jin's behavior.

The reason why "love" is so tempting and has sparked so many discussions is that it is complex enough and mysterious enough that everyone may understand it differently.

Love is just one word, meaning thousands of layers. In my opinion, Lao Jin's feelings for his daughter have at least three meanings.

The first layer, and the most superficial representation, Lao Jin must have love for his daughter.

The opposite of love is not love, it is hate, it is to say that a person who works hard to fish for his daughter to study, and goes to the sword mountain and the sea of fire for revenge does not love children?

The performance of not loving children should be indifferent and indifferent, "What does it have to do with me if you die on the other side of the ocean", "My daughter committed suicide due to domestic violence, and she should be used for a yin marriage", instead of chasing the murderer across the ocean, countering violence with violence, and turning himself from an honest fisherman into a lawless demon.

Anger requires an emotional foundation, and in the face of someone who doesn't care, it's a waste to even look at him, let alone ignore his own safety and the future, and only think about revenge.

Therefore, for Lao Jin, the subjective motive of loving his daughter is beyond question.

Image credit: Wading through the Angry Sea trailer

So, why do some people always say that Lao Jin doesn't love his daughter?

It's very simple, because Lao Jin's feelings for his daughter are not the love that a father should have for his daughter, or even the love that should exist between two independent and free individuals.

Lao Jin's love for his daughter is that a person loves his own possessions, loves his dignity and possessiveness, and is a kind of perverted love. This is the second meaning that the film gives to "Lao Jin's love".

In the movie, this can be seen in many details.

In order to let his daughter have a strong body, Lao Jin taught her to learn to swim and take her to run, but he didn't know that his daughter was afraid of the sea, and he turned a blind eye to his daughter's fatigue when she exercised.

After learning that his daughter was violated, Lao Jin's first reaction was not to worry about his daughter, but to say, "I know that Nana is my Lao Jin's daughter, and if something like this happens, where will I put my face." ”

When his daughter had a high fever, Lao Jin covered her face with a wet towel to cool down, and her daughter's mouth and nose were covered and she couldn't breathe, and she was about to suffocate, but she didn't dare to call her father.

As Jing Lan said, Lao Jin can show everyone the video of his daughter's humiliation so loudly, proving that he doesn't love her at all and doesn't care about her dignity and personality.

Image credit: Wading through the Angry Sea trailer

Some people say that love or not love, the child says it.

This statement is also a bit biased, because it is too cruel for parents to put the definition of parental love in the hands of their children. No matter how much parents give, as long as the child doesn't appreciate it, isn't it love? Of course not.

But the problem with the "Chinese-style family" is precisely that whether you love or not, there is only the parents who have the final say, and do not give the child any room to express it, which is more dangerous than letting the child have the final say.

It is this kind of "love" that makes her daughter Cortana become a person who doesn't know what love is.

In class, the teacher asked her to use "love" to form a sentence, but she couldn't make it because she felt that she had no one to love.

In the face of a scumbag boyfriend, she used self-harm to destroy everything she had, and she also wanted to exchange for the slightest attention from others.

On the other side, her boyfriend Li Miaomiao was also born in a twisted family. His parents divorced, his mother connived at him in every way for his blatant evil, and his father ignored him and even hated him.

Image credit: Wading through the Angry Sea trailer

Otherwise, loveless people and control freaks are a perfect match. Those who love themselves will not be easily controlled, and those who love will not be deceived by superficial overtures.

Only those who have never been loved will take the possession of others as love, and be willing to take it.

Seeing this, Lao Jin and Jing Lan are the worst fathers and mothers, ruining their children's lives with self-righteous love.

Image credit: Wading through the Angry Sea trailer

However, the movie doesn't end here.

Lao Jin, who saw his daughter's diary, was very sad and found that he was the "murderer" who caused his daughter's tragedy, and decided to let Li Miaomiao go and stay alone on the lighthouse.

Hysterical revenge is like a dream, which starts suddenly and ends suddenly.

At this moment, Lao Jin woke up from the illusion of "self-righteous love", began to regret it, and also saw the relationship between himself and his daughter clearly.

So, he desperately tried to find the grave of his daughter, who was hidden by his ex-wife, "Cortana, where are you, I have to find you, I have to say some things to my face..."

You know, parents who don't love their daughters won't know what repentance is, and they don't have the ability to reflect. When faced with a truth that conflicts with their own ideas, covering up the truth is their only option.

However, Lao Jin really saw his daughter's pain and took his daughter's hatred for himself to heart.

Only those who have loved can see their own problems.

Image credit: Wading through the Angry Sea trailer

Therefore, to remove the fog of extreme emotions, the lowest emotion of Lao Jin is still love.

It was exaggerated, it was covered up, and finally, in a confession, it returned to a simple father.

Now, many people seem to have grasped the little tail of "Lao Jin doesn't love his daughter", and they criticize Lao Jin's education methods, behavior, and even personality, feeling that he is not worthy of being a father.

Film marketing is also trying its best to exaggerate the contradictions between the two original families, using intergenerational conflicts to guide the emotions of Internet people and attract audiences to the theater.

But we can also think about it, if there is such a father in life who wants to love his daughter but doesn't know how to do it, is it not so emotionally difficult to understand?

I believe that the purpose of this film is by no means to judge a low-level father, but to call for everyone to reflect on the parent-child relationship.

Just as at the end of the film, Lao Jin "waded through the sea of anger" and reflected on himself.

The tragedy could have been avoided, don't let Lao Jin's tears in the movie become tears in the eyes of his parents in reality.